Pups_mum

Or if any parents are more science-y, it is a fairly easy walk to the Science and Industry Museum in Castlefield. At the moment they have Stephenson's original Rocket on loan from the Science Museum and there's lots of other very interesting stuff including a section on Alan Turing's original computer.

If i recall rightly, my husband made one from the offcuts of a laminate floor, stuck onto a piece of hardboard or similar. Not the ideal dance floor of course, but for the amount of time it was used it seemed fine. It was useful for DD when practising particular steps that she was finding technically challenging but she didnt use it that much really. No doubt the Harlequin board will be a high quality item but its a lot of money. You could buy an awful lot of laminate for £119...

Wow. That must have been a shock, growing so much so quickly! Glad he has found his niche though. I have learned a lot from DD's experience. I listened too much to what I (and she ) wanted to hear rather than what was staring me in the face. People really do mean well and are trying to be encouraging but sometimes it is better to be realistic. I would never have stopped her dancing, as I think the benefits are huge and I dont see a classical career as the only succesful outcome. But I would have definitely encouraged her to be more diverse both in her dancing and thinking, at a younger age. I am doing things a bit different with SS as a result, and we've had the hard conversations rather sooner. Ask me in about 5 years if I think I've done any better!!

Ive been wondering whether to post this as I dont want to sound rude or discouraging, but I do think that its important to be realistic if you are a "non standard" size. I write as a very short mother of petite children. I am in no way anti short people....but I am afraid experience tells me that it does matter. Both my DD and my SS (sporty son!) are short and many, very well meaning people over the years have has the "well they might still grow" conversation and pointed out the exceptional people who have been hugely successful despite their lack of height. But there's the rub. They ARE exceptional. Both in terms of being exceptions to the rule and in having exceptional talents. If you are destined to be a soloist the being a lot shorter, or indeed taller, than the rest of the company is far less of an issue than if you are aiming for the corps. And let's face it, how many dancers have that level of talent.....very few. As a sporting example, Maddie Hinch, the world number 1 hockey goalie is unusually small for her position. But she is insanely talented. Caleb Ewan is a very short sprint cyclist but other aspects of his abilities are almost unique. If they were only "very good" their stature would have been far more of an issue. Im not saying give up. But be realistic. Your physique may mean that some things are out of reach but a different path may be equally fulfilling. My DD is almost certainly heading down the teaching route and there's lot of exciting possibilities that way. My SS is being gently steered by his coaches into disciplines that he is more physically suited to but what he has done so far is not wasted. Its a popular concept that if we just work hard enough we can do anything. Sadly its not true. Hard work is of course crucial, whatever "raw materials" the genetic lottery may have give you but it is not always possible to get what you want, however hard you work. I think perpetuating that idea is potentially very detrimental to hard working and talented youngsters who dont get to "the top" as they the feel they have failed, not give enough etc etc. Work to be the best you can be. But recognise that that may be different to what someone else can be be, or what you currently want to be. And note "different"...not better, or worse..

I think its a matter that needs to be kept in perspective. I really can't imagine any post audition panel discussions would go like this... "So, number 23.....what musicality." "Absolutely. And paired with such strong technique". "Perfect physique too - great potential". "Err...guys, guys, hang on a minute....didn't you see her dirty shoes?!" "Oh yeah, now you come to mention it....So we're all agreed, that's a straight "no" then?". It wouldn't happen would it? And nor would the most perfectly presented dancer get a place if they didnt have all the necessary attributes. However, that said, human nature being what it is, people tend to perform better if they feel confident. And knowing that you look the part can certainly boost confidence. Plus, particularly when you get to the age where a dancer is more likely to have got themselves ready rather than have been prepared by a parent or teacher, I can believe that a slap dash appearance might be considered indicative of a slap dash attitude. If two dancers were equal in all other respects, well it could make a difference. So I think its worth taking care over but not having sleepless nights about. Mummytwinkletoes - I would let you DD choose whichever type of shoes she will feel most comfortable and confident wearing. I would imagine the majority will opt for flat shoes. I get the impression from my DD and her friends that soft blocks are at best tolerated, but nobody seems to actually enjoy dancing in them!

Hi worsethanclueless, I agree that it is sensible to go into these things with your eyes open, but at the same time it is sometimes better not to overthink things. The chances of ANY child "making it" in classical ballet is miniscule and if that were the only point in participating nobody sane would ever start. But you could probably say the same about many things - sports, music, drama and lots of more academic career paths too. But the benefits of all these kinds of things are many. There is intrinsic value in simply doing and enjoying the activity plus lots of transferable skills to learn. None of us knows what the future holds, and though it is natural for parents to worry about their children, there is a lot to be said for living in the moment and enjoying any given opportunity for what it is now. Your DD is very young. In a few years she may have changed and have a new passion. But if she is enjoying ballet now and you can support that interest without it impacting too greatly on the rest of family life then I can almost guarantee that she will get a lot out if it, even if it isnt a ballet career.

Also, if it has to be Spanish inspired rather than actually Spanish you might want to consider works by the contemporary Mexican composer Arturo Marquez -he has written lots of lively dance music.

Recuerdos de la Alhambra by Francisco Tarrega

Hi Nadya, I dont think there is any reason why your faith and your interest in ballet should be incompatible with a little bit of planning. One think that i dont think has been mentioned regarding other students potential attitudes has just come into my mind and I thought it worth mentioning. Lots of teenagers go through rebellious stages and ballet students are no different. I remember my DD's old teachers tearing their hair out over some of the teens moods at times, and not wanting to wear the uniform, put their hair up for class etc was a fairly common thing. So if you go to a class with a strict dress code you may find the other girls dont want to wear it either, albeit for different reasons. If that is the case I think you would be wise to try to ensure thats your choice of clothing is as close to the uniform as your faith allows. For instance if the class leotard is plain navy blue, then look for a plain navy blue outfit for yourself. If the others have to wear some thing they dont much like and you have, say, a pretty flowered skirt or coloured headscarf on they may feel thats it isnt altogether fair. This might possibly cause a bit of tension. I think the teachers should make reasonable adjustments to allows you to participate with out compromising your beliefs, but you also need to explore how you can best fit in with the culture of the ballet class, within the framework of your faith.

There's a travelodge right by the station in Greenwich that is very handy for Laban, and on the occasion we stayed there it was quite cheap, by London standards.

I think that you are 100% right to insist that she completes the associate programme that you've paid for. I believe firmly that ballet (and indeed many other hobbies) provide numerous benefits and learning opportunities for our children, that are actually probably more important than the dancing in the long term. Associates places are expensive and hard to come by and it's entirely reasonable to expect your little girl to respect the effort you've gone to to pay for it, and the fact that she has an opportunity that not everyone gets. Maybe I'm a bit harsh, but I don't think 9 is too young to grasp those concepts. If she doesn't want to reapply next year, that's different, but having committed to the place I think you are right to stick with it. Obviously I wouldn't make a child who was being bullied or similar stay in any programme, but if it's just a case of "going off" an activity then I think it's a fair expectation that they complete the course. That said, I do think that the previous posters have a point about considering a change of school as it may be that she's getting a bit bored as not being stretched enough. My youngest was losing interest in one of his sports a bit but a change of club and new challenges has completely reinvigorated him, even though he's gone from being one of the best in the first club to one of the weakest at the new one.

I think going to see some ballets is an excellent idea, because even at age 9 she will start to see how what she's learning relates to what she sees on stage. I remember my DD being very excited at a similar age because she spotted steps that she could actually do within the choreography of something we'd gone to see. Suddenly something that was just an exercise she did in class had real context and became far more interesting. I definitely don't agree with making children continue with a hobby they are clearly no longer getting anything out of, but I don't think it'd good to let them chop and change either as its good for them to learn that everything has its ups and downs and sometimes you have to work through the downs to really enjoy the ups. I would set a deadline that if she is still adamant that she still wants to stop by she can do,but it won't be a spur of the moment thing.

At 7, I would say that the most important thing is that she's having fun and has a good local teacher. Associates wise, as others have said, you could look at RBS and Elmhurst or if you don't mind travelling a bit further there's Northern in Leeds or Ballet West in Edinburgh or Glasgow. All these schemes are oversubscribed, so it's best to approach the auditions as a nice day out and opportunity to do class with different teachers. If anything more comes of it then it's a bonus. Generally at this age they are looking for potential rather than attainment, so don't worry if others seem more accomplished. It's very difficult to predict who will be chosen so basically you just have to give it a go (or several goes) and see! The other thing to consider is performance schemes such as EYB. They tend to visit the North East every 2 or 3 years so keep an eye on their website for auditions. What has her teacher suggested? Are there any other children in the school doing associates etc?

Sorry to hear this news. I hope your husband's health improves soon. Would it be worth asking the school if they could squeeze your DD into the boarding house, even if just for a few weeks to buy you a bit of time? You would think that under the circumstances they would be a bit more supportive. Hopefully it's only a short term problem and things return to normal soon.

Interesting you should say that. I recently attended a seminar run by the governing body of one of my son's sports about young athlete development. They put up a chart outlining the advised types and amount of training that children of different ages should be doing, and up to about 16 there was quite an emphasis on playing other sports, and a strong message to parents that they should not be 100% focused on a single sport at a very young age. The reasons weren't fully explained to be honest, but I'd assumed it was a lot to do with psychological well being and not narrowing the options too soon. It's interesting to hear that there may be even more to it than that. And yes, it does seem to be different in dance. If anything, my DD was actively discouraged from doing other things.

I think it is very brave for someone who has had so much exposure as Miko to basically say "you know what, this isn't what I want to do". I think it's hard enough for a "regular" dance student or professional to change direction. They have put so much of themselves into it, know that others, particularly parents, have also made sacrifices, and often they haven't really considered other options or had a huge amount of exposure to alternative careers as they've grown up. So it's a step into the unknown which must be very scary. For someone like Miko who has had all that and more it must be even worse. I don't imagine it was an easy decision for her and I think it's admirable that she has chosen another path that will hopefully bring her fulfillment and happiness.

Yes it's interesting. I know of a few doctors who have danced professionally/been vocational ballet students including one who is training as a maxillo-facial surgeon, which is probably one of the hardest fields to tackle as you have to be dual qualified in dentistry and medicine before you even really start. We often say on here that dance training equips young people with lots of transferable skills even if a dance career doesn't pan out - tenacity and a great work ethic are certainly amongst them, which is obviously very good. I do wonder though if ex dancers somehow "need" pressure as they have become used to it. It does seem quite common that they opt for other difficult paths on leaving the dance world.

It had honestly never crossed my mind that such a think would be an issue. I'm feeling somewhat guilty that I have perhaps neglected my 12 Year olds feelings as it says "Shimano WMN" in fairly big letters on his actual shoes, never mind the box. So I just asked him if he minded. He rolled his eyes a bit and said "Boys' shoes, girls' shoes, as long as they're GOOD shoes I don't care." So i think he's escaped unscathed so far.😄 I do wonder why manufacturers can't just label things as "Size 4 tap shoes" "Size 3 cycling shoes" though. Why the need to assign gender? At the other end of the scale there must be tall women who object to buying things labelled as for men. (Sorry....going off the topic somewhat, but I think that the bottom line is that pretty much all the difficulties that boys who dance experience are as a result of wider gender discrimination so it's kind of relevant!)

I don't have a son who dances, but was also intrigued by the comment about ladies' tap shoes as I would have assumed they were unisex, particularly at that relatively small size. My son wears cycling shoes and other kit that are labelled as womens, and in fact his next bike will probably be badged as a woman's bike. But there's no difference really, it's just that men don't come that small and for some reason manufacturers don't seem to think that children need decent quality cycling equipment. Ditto his next hockey goalie kit will probably be in the woman's section as that's where the next size up from kids tends to be. He will wear whatever fits him, as long as its not pink and sparkly and neither he nor I have ever seen it as an issue. I think it's pretty much the norm in unisex activities that boys who have outgrown the kids section use kit that's sold as women's before they get big enough for the men's ranges. I can understand your frustration regarding lack of boys specific classes etc as obviously there are different techniques to learn. Are there any schools in your area with a male teacher who might be willing to do private lessons maybe?

Or, in my humble opinion, even more important than length of career is length of healthy life. As a health care professional who has seen the long lasting effects of even inappropriate regular footwear, my heart sinks when I see such young girls on pointe. Maybe some people do believe that the gains from early pointework justify the potential permanent damage to a child's feet, but I can't agree. I do however understand the pressure as between constant begging from my DD and persuasion from her teacher, I let my own daughter go on pointe a little sooner than I really wanted to, and I really, really should have known better! I can only imagine how much stronger that pressure must be if you are in an environment where it's the norm and you are told that your child must be able to dance well known classical variations en pointe by the age of 9 or they are doomed to failure. I fear that the increased publicity for this type of thing via YouTube etc will increase pressure on other students to follow suite. But the adults involved need to protect the children. It will be a rare 10 Year old who can truly grasp the risks and be willing to forgo excitement and possible great success in the here and now because of potential health problems at some indeterminate time in the future. Teachers, parents and governing bodies need to make that decision for them. My youngest child is a keen cyclist. There are still pushy parents and obsessive coaches in that world of course - it's not perfect. But there is a lot more protective legislation. For example, the maximum size of gear allowed for racing is age dependent, and strictly enforced so no amount of pleading from the child for bigger gearing to help them go faster makes an difference. Nor can a coach persuade a parent that their child is special - stronger, more advanced, more promising than everyone else - so that it's OK to move them onto harder gears. Nope, it's non negotiable. Turn up at a British Cycling approved race on a bike with the wrong gears for your age and you won't be allowed to ride. Makes it much easier for everyone and helps prevent children from injury. I'd like to see the governing bodies in the dance world take a similar stance.

I fully agree with you Viv. I find the sight of pre pubertal girls performing "grown up" variations en pointe distasteful and concerning. And we're not even talking about starting to do a few rises at the barre a little sooner than recommended. In order to have reached that level en pointe by 9 or 10 they must surely have started some years younger than that? Of course many physical activities have the potential to damage young bodies if too much is done too soon, but many sports do seem to be taking things more seriously nowadays and setting restrictions on what children can do at certain ages. I would certainly like to see ballet follow suite. Of course there will always be some natural variation, but setting minimum ages is, in my humble opinion, likely to protect more children than it will disadvantage. I would like to see more schools, teachers and parents taking a stand against this kind of thing.

When my DD was younger I did look into our "local" CAT and concluded that it would ideally suit an only child with one parent who doesn't work, other parent with a very highly paid job, an extremely understanding head teacher and preferably a helicopter. We didn't apply 😄. Seriously, I'm sure these schemes are great, but unless you live in close proximity to the centres I think they are very difficult to manage.

Great news AB! I've no personal experience as my DD did different syllabi but she has a few friends who have been to the IDTA awards and they all really enjoyed it. Things are really picking up for you this year aren't they - well done!

Everyone gets a decent amount of time on stage and plenty of dancing in EYB productions. I know what it's like to have a DC who has their heart set on a certain part and is disappointed not to get it, but honestly there are no "bad" parts in EYB. If your DCs approach their parts with a positive attitude then in all likelihood they will have a great time and may well, as mine did, say at the end "I'm really glad I was an X and not a Y now!"

No, parents aren't usually able to watch dress rehearsals. Sometimes EYB sell tickets for the dress rehearsal to local schools at a reduced price so if you know anyone who is taking a school party you could maybe get in with them I suppose, but I have never heard of tickets going on general sale. Normally parents get to watch the last run through at the rehearsal venue but not the dress rehearsal.