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Pups_mum

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  1. Good luck! I think the EYB version of Giselle is lovely. It is not one of my favourite ballets but I really enjoyed watching when my DD was in it, a good number of years again now. I preferred the EYB setting to the more usual version yo be honest!
  2. Pups_mum

    DaDa question

    I've said it before and I will say it again.....I really wish the government would just do away with DaDAs and make student loans available for Level 6 Diplomas as well as degrees. It would make things so much simpler all round. Dancers would be able to apply for courses that they really wanted to do, not just the ones their parents can afford, nobody would be faced with that horrid situation of being offered a place at their dream school but without funding, and the schools would know where they stand sooner too as people wouldn't keep multiple offers open whilst waiting for funding decisions. When I take over the world I will change things. 😋 ( Well obviously I would make all education free for everyone ideally, but failing that I would level the playing field a bit at least.)
  3. @KeepDancing!! you are of course absolutely right that training of any kind needs to be age appropriate and, as a general rule, both time spent and intensity will increase as a young person matures. And of course nobody becomes skilled at anything without putting in a significant amount of time and effort. But I do think that there is a fundamental flaw in using quantitative measures to judge anything qualitative. It happens all the time of course - individuals and organisations tend to measure what is easiest to measure, not what matters most. You can't blame people really. Things like time and distance are easy to measure and are objective. Quality is neither. But I would say that rather than asking "how many hours should an X year old be doing" we should be asking "What kind of training should this X year old be doing". That is a far harder question to answer of course but it needs to be asked. I have come across young people, and their parents, in a number of fields who brag about their "how long" or "how far" and wear their exhaustion, and injuries, almost as a badge of honour. That isn't good for anyone.
  4. That is good to hear. It is not just dance that is afflicted by this problem but times do seem to be changing. My son started a structured individual training programme in one of his sports this year. I was a bit worried about agreeing to this as I didn't want him overdoing things but his coach has actually reduced the hours he was spending on training. The focus is very much on training smarter, not longer. It is took a bit of getting used to with a fair bit of "oops, I'm over my target again this week" but he is adjusting now and has more time to sleep, get his homework done etc so feels less stressed. Plus he is performing better, both than he was before, and than a lot of his peers who are putting in more hours. I think one of the biggest stumbling blocks is the focus on "dedication" that comes with many sports, music etc as well as dance. Whilst it is without doubt that dedication is needed, that doesn't have to be synonymous with putting in hours and hours of relentless, repetitive practice. But a lot of people see it that way - if you are not flogging yourself you are not committed and dont deserve success. That is the attitude that needs to be changed in my opinion. It is good to see the RBS taking a more reasoned approach. I hope actions match words and the ideas spread far and wide.
  5. I am sure you are absolutely right @drdance and @MAK though in my friend's case the other parents actually said "Oh, X College. That's a shame. My son is at Y College, they are far more selective" so I don't think there was any misinterpreting the intention there!
  6. I was talking to a friend today whose child has recently started an Oxbridge science degree. There are still other parents making negative comments - apparently there are better colleges. 🙄 There will ALWAYS be people who chose to put the choices of others down. Often it is because of their own insecurities. Chances are, whatever a young person opts to do there will be someone, somewhere who will be critical. As a parent it can be very frustrating to hear your child or their choices "put down" but it really is best to let it go over your head. If I think someone is genuinely interested in the rationale behind my DD's choices I am very happy to chat, but I refuse to waste time and energy on justifying them to anyone who just wants to tell me how much better their child is - be that a non dancer or another dancer. (Because let's not kid ourselves that other dance parents don't also do this!) I find a smile and "How lovely. I am really pleased to hear X is doing so well" followed swiftly by a change of topic usually does the trick.
  7. A friend of my DD's did Tap Attack associates for a while and really enjoyed it. I am not sure where the classes are held but I am sure there will be lots of info on their website.
  8. Well I am not a dancer Ballet Bear, and I am a lot older than you, but I do have some experience of the anxiety that comes with starting to do things again after yiu have been injured. And the first thing to know is that those anxieties are NORMAL. There is nothing wrong with feeling that way and you are certainly not alone. Patience, and gradually working back up is key in my experience. Sometimes you have to push a little beyond your comfort zone, but do it gently and slowly so you don't set yourself back. That can be very frustrating of course, but remember the tale of the tortoise and the hare. Dont be afraid to talk to people, both the supportive adults in your life and your friends. They will probably be more understanding than you think. Bottling stuff up never helps. You have a lot on at the moment, your injury, auditions and I presume GCSEs. That can be very stressful. You might benefit from learning some relaxation strategies. Do you have a counsellor or a learning support department at your academic school? They may be able to point you in the right direction. I hope you feel better soon. Be kind to yourself!
  9. Just ignore it. As long as you and your DD are happy with your decision it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. And you can't really know what was behind the comment either - there are all kinds of possible motivations, including just feeling the need to say something to pass the time. I wouldn't read too much into it. I've been asked if I am disappointed that DD did dance as my husband and I are both fairly academic. Yes, it is a bit insulting, but actually I just think it came from place of ignorance/curiosity rather than malice, and the person who asked is of no consequence to us really. So I just smiled and said "No, I am very proud of her".
  10. @Paleblueleotard you are wise to advise caution on travel, but remember that not everyone has opportunities close by. My DD was travelling for more than 40 minutes to get to her ordinary ballet class at one stage. My son travels further than that for most of his sports activities. If I set a 40 minute travel limit on any of my children they would do very little. In fact school would be a bit borderline....though they might not mind missing that of course! 🤣 Of course it is sensible to consider the effects on the whole family of regular, long distance activities. Not everything is worth the journey. In fact I have just told my son that we can't take up a particular training activity 2 hours drive away as it is on a school night and we would not be getting home until gone 11pm. The gain doesn't justify the costs. It is a good programme, but not THAT good. If it were at weekends then maybe the cost/benefit analysis would be different. My advice would always to research thoroughly, weigh up the pros and cons, and personally I never let any of my children try out for anything unless I am sure that we can afford it as a family, in terms of time and well being as well as money. I have seen people go for things "just for the experience" and thinking "s/he will never get in anyway" only to find themselves with a "yes" and then either having a very upset child or putting themselves through the ringer to keep up something that is just too difficult. It can be really tough to decide what exactly the value of any given programme is, and how much pain it is worth of course, but I would also say, don't assume that biggest is always best and don't be afraid to ask questions.
  11. I am currently recovering from a car crash in which I broke multiple bones and although they have healed I am still not "better" 8 months on unfortunately. Admittedly I am a lot older than your DD, and my fractures were complex, both of which will have impacted on my recovery time, but even allowing for that I would urge caution. Patience is definitely a virtue here. Even when the bones are healed, the soft tissue damage can take some time to recover, and the loss of muscle that results from immobilisation is often quite dramatic. Proprioception - the sense of knowing where your body is and how it is moving - is also often altered after an injury and has to be relearned. These factors mean that the risk of further injury is increased during the recovery phase so it is really important to follow physio advice and build gradually back up to full activity. It is very frustrating, especially for someone who is usually very active, but I would encourage your DD to be patient. Returning too soon after injury runs the risk of actually prolonging the recovery. I hope she has an uneventful recovery and feels better soon.
  12. @BellaF personally I wouldn't. Application forms generally ask when an exam was taken as well as the result so anyone in the dance world is likely to know that High Distinction wasn't an official thing in 2019. In the same way, when I did my A levels I know I got one of the highest marks in the country in one subject, but I wouldn't say I got an A* as they didn't exist then. Personally I would never put anything that isn't entirely factual on an application form. As you say, exam results are largely irrelevant when it comes to auditions anyway.
  13. I would always suggest choosing whatever the dancer feels shows them in their best light if there is an option. Often, but not always, this will be whatever they enjoy most. It is tempting to dwell on things like this if the outcome of an audition is not what you were hoping for, but there are so many factors and in reality one can never know if a different choice would have led to a different outcome. I always think it is best to be yourself in auditions, job interviews etc. If you have shown the real you to the best of your abilities and that is not what the panel are looking for then they are probably not right for you any more than you are right for them.
  14. I think you are normal @HowMuch! When there has been a busy period and it goes quiet there is often a bit of a dip in mood - a bit like the days after Christmas, a wedding or other big family event. Particularly if your own social life is closely tied in with your child's activities you can feel quite isolated if there is not much going on. Plus it is tough when our children get "not yets". Even though we intellectually know that it isn't the end of the world, it still hurts emotionally, especially if other friends have had years and you see them enjoying an opportunity that your own child also wanted. I am not sure there is a solution, though time does bring a different perspective, but you are definitely not alone.
  15. Before anyone says anything, yes, I'm aware ballet isn't a sport, but please bear with me! The similarities and differences between the sport that I coach and dance are often on my mind, and I think there is quite a lot that each could learn from the other. So I hope you will forgive me for posting something sport related that dropped into my inbox this week. Parents in Sport Week is an annual event supported by several high profile organisations including the NSPCC and Sport England, with the aim of encouraging positive parental/carer involvement in youth sport. This year's theme is the Sports Parents' Promise. Parents and carers are being encouraged to formally make a promise to their children which incorporates several elements related to safeguarding and good sportsmanship. I think it is also very relevant to dance and indeed many other activities that children and young people participate in. Have a look at the information in this link and replace the words sport and team with dance and school and hopefully you will see what I mean. https://thecpsu.org.uk/upcoming-events/2019-10-07-parents-in-sport-week/
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