Pups_mum

No...I did gently complain afterwards. I've always been asked previously. It didn't enhance the experience.....I think I would have preferred my ear drums to be assaulted by the noise of the scanner.

I felt like I was actually in Room 101 today. Being in an MRI scanner required to keep motionless for half an hour or so is bad enough as it is, but when they start to play Radio 2 over the headphones and there is no escape....😫

Oh gosh @hoglett that really is a difficult situation and puts a different perspective on things. I hope I wasn't too insensitive by suggesting that she stayed at home for another 2 years. I can see why you are looking for somewhere that can meet her dance and academic needs in one, given what has happened. The prospect of finding a new school and new dance now and then having to do it all again in 2 years must be very daunting. I can empathise with your situation as the prep school my DD attended shut down very suddenly when she was in year 5. Fortunately we had our suspicions and moved her earlier, so avoiding the mad scramble for places elsewhere that ensued. Obviously not as bad as your situation, but it was far from ideal. We opted for state schools after the closure debacle, but many of the others moved to the only other independent school in our locality. Unfortunately this then also closed with virtually no warning when the year group that would have included my DD was in year 12. So I feel very lucky that we dodged the bullets twice. But I did see how traumatic it was for a number of DD's friends and their families who were affected. If it is any consolation, all the children I know who were affected have gone on to do very well despite the upheaval. I can't imagine how stressful it must be, but with such an obviously loving mum supporting her I am sure your DD will come through this. I think you are amazing for taking on homeschooling for GCSEs. I really hope you soon find a solution that works for the whole family.

I am another like @Picturesinthefirelightwhose interest in ballet is largely confined to supporting my (now adult) daughter. This forum is a fantastic place for mutual support whilst you attempt to navigate the often difficult world of dance training. Often the discussions are as much about parenting and financial management as they are ballet though. I decide to give up posting a short while ago actually as I felt that with my DD being an adult now I was getting a bit out of touch with things and didn't have much to say. But its hard to break a long term balletcoforum addiction so I have dropped in a few times this week! I do occasionally read the other forums, but apart from Not Dance I don't think I have ever posted. To be brutally honest, I would be a bit scared to. I don't know enough and everyone else seems super knowledgeable. I have something to offer here. In the 19 years since my DD took her first class I have picked up quite a lot of knowledge one way or another (including from here of course.) So I can offer opinions and advice on all kinds of related topics from sewing pointe shoe ribbons on to funding options and exam syllabi. I even know a bit about technique. But I would be a fish out of water on the other forums. I am very grateful that there are people who watch so much ballet and can compare different productions etc in such an erudite manner because without audiences our young dancers would have nothing to aspire to. But I am not one of those people and I never will be so I don't think I could make any meaningful contribution to most threads outside this section. However, if anyone wants to know more about ribbon selection and the difficulties of sewing invisible elastic then I'm your girl! 😂

She's very happy thanks. I will email you soon -lots been happening in our world and I've rather neglected friends.

You can get leather dyes (I"ve used it to touch up my leather sofa) but I think it would be hard to change from a darker colour to white whatever you use. And you would probably spend nearly as much on products to change the colour as you would on a new pair, plus the chemicals will still have an environmental impact. To be honest, i would just buy some new ones, and recycle your old ones, either by giving them away at the dance school or put them in a clothing bank/charity shop.

Can't help with the question but just had to pop in to say congrats to your lovely DS for getting onto the course @amum/Cathy I hope things go from strength to strength fir him.

If teaching is the end game, then I would seriously consider staying at home for another 2 years and doing A levels/BTEC at a local school or college - assuming you have sufficiently good dance and academic schools nearby of course. There is little doubt that a would-be classical ballet dancer needs to be in full time vocational training at 16, but for those with other aspirations it is unlikely to be necessary and could even be detrimental. A lot more doors open at 18, and although of course everyone is different, in my own, admittedly limited, experience I think that the average 18 year old copes with living independently better than the average 16 year old. I think there can be a lot of pressure on serious teenage dancers (and their parents) when they see that "everyone else" is going away. It can be easy to feel that you are being left behind if you don't go. But depending on your plans it really isn't always the best thing. Plus, think very hard about the financial implications. If you use funding for a 3 year degree or diploma starting at 16 it will be used up by age 19. Certainly if you've used student finance you won't get funding for another degree and from previous threads on here I believe it can be difficult after a DaDA as well. Its just something to bear in mind. Personally, we didn't go to auditions anywhere that I knew we couldn't afford without impacting too much on my other children. I know people who have gone for audition practice or just take a look at a place, but I didnt want to run the risk of DD falling in love with somewhere I really couldn't afford. It is terribly difficult to know what is best. Good luck with everything.

I would advise that she needs to see an orthopaedic surgeon with a specific foot and ankle interest. This may require travel to a larger hospital if your sister is not in a big city, but her GP should be able to refer her. I have never had this particular problem but unfortunately i have lots of recent personal experience of tricky foot problems and can't stress enough how important it is to see a foot expert - even for ordinary people, never mind dancers. The biomechanics of the foot are very complex and not always well understood so it is worth hunting out someone with a real interest. I hope she gets better soon. It must be very difficult for her.

I think on here we can sometimes get a bit of a distorted idea of what constitutes normal progress through the grades as most of us have children who are serious dancers and will be quicker. Plus we will have tended, where possible, to seek out teachers and schools where the standard is higher. So its not always useful to compare what many of our children achieved at a given age with what the typical once a week recreational dancer might do. I've also got some sympathy with teachers wanting to run their school their way. As a (volunteer admittedly) sports coach it can be very frustrating to have parents who push to have their children moved up when they are not ready and on rare occasions we have indeed had to suggest to parents that if they are not happy with the way we coach at our club they should look elsewhere. So I can see that perspective. However.....all that said, I think the timescales the OP is describing are beyond normal. That sounds far too long in one grade to me, especially primary. If the pupil knows the work then they surely need to be moving on and developing, whether they have done the exam or not. If the pupil doesn't know the work after that length of time there is something wrong with the teaching. Either way, that's a red flag to me, as is the poor communication and inflexibility of the teacher. The suggestion to move to another school may not be unreasonable but I would expect there to be dialogue first. OP, I would move now. This is likely only to get worse with time. Don't worry about the syllabus. Quality of teaching and happy pupils are far more important than the exam board.

I agree with everyone else. Keep the lines of communication open and things will almost certainly turn out ok one way or another. One thing to consider is whether your DD really means that she doesn't want to dance any more, or is it that she doesn't want to be a dancer? She may of course not yet have even realised that those are different things, but it is worth exploring that question. Both in real life and online I have observed on numerous occasions that when a child has talent there are lots of assumptions made from an early age. It doesn't just happen in dance - every sport or activity seems to have a "pathway" and once you are on it it seems to be assumed that you will want to continue to the next stage whether you have said so or not. It is like being on a conveyor belt. The application forms for the next phase are given out automatically or you may even find out you have been selected for something that you didn't even apply for. Everyone else around you has the same aspirations (or so it seems) and you are continually told how fortunate you are to have been picked for the associates/ team/training programme you are on. It is very hard even for an adult to cope with that amount of pressure and to step off the conveyor belt if they discover it isn't what they want after all. So much has been invested - time, effort, money - and you've got an opportunity that many desire and few receive. I have heard many parents say that it is hard to stop so for a teenager it must be even worse. It is testament to your DD's character and her relationship with you that she has spoken out. But maybe it is the "pathway" she has had enough of, not dancing? Would she feel differently if there were no assessments, auditions, exams etc for a while at least? If the pressure (either external or self imposed) is removed and she has the opportunity to dance purely for pleasure and for herself she may rediscover the joy of dance. Maybe consider stopping the associates and cutting back on the hours at her regular dance school but maintaining one or two classes a week - the argument that its paid for or you need to give notice is a good one. That gives her time for other activities, social events and rest but doesn't shut the door on dance entirely. When a child is introduced to an activity at an early age and turns out to be talented they don't always get the chance to figure out whether they are doing it because they love it, or because they are good at it. I would encourage her to think a bit about that and also to try to unpick exactly what it is that she wants to get away from. It could be pressure, exhaustion, travel, a particular teacher, other students etc etc rather than ballet itself. She might just need some help to discover how to deal with the elements that are making her unhappy rather than giving up altogether. I hope you can get to the bottom of things and find a solution that makes her happy.

Well I have been on this forum, and its predecessor for around a decade now, but I think it is time I bade you all farewell. I've made some good friends, had some great advice and help - notably when we got stuck behind an accident en route to DD's Advanced 1 exam and I was able to get a message to the RAD via another forum member who was already there! But I have noticed lately that I have less to contribute. DD is an adult now and the days of auditions and exams are long behind us. I'm pleased to say that she completed her degree, despite a lot of problems. A particularly troublesome and persistent injury made completion of the course very challenging and there were several occasions when I thought she would give up. With hindsight, maybe different choices would have been better at various points, but I am proud of her for persevering and making the best of some difficult times. She has developed a passion for teaching and seems to have a talent for it, so that is her next step. Maybe one day I will find myself back at the beginning, making costumes and scenery for dance school shows and biting my nails over exam results, but this time on behalf of the teacher! But for now I wish you all and your DCs much happiness and success in the future. I'm sure I wont be able to resist dropping in occasionally, but I do think the time has passed when I can really be a useful contributor. So for now at least, its goodbye, and thank you.

Not dance related from us either, but we are looking at my husband getting citizenship of his mother's country of birth, so that our children potentially could then do the same and have more options in the future. I think if there is a reasonable chance of them wanting to live and work in the EU in the future it is likely to make things a lot easier to have nationality of an EU country.

I agree. I've never met an RAD teacher who couldnt explain the system and give appropriate guidance. I would be very worried if this was the case as its basic stuff. My DD and I were made aware of the different types of exams and what her likely path through them would be pretty early, certainly before she finished primary school. If my child was in a school where the teacher either couldn't or wouldn't share that kind of information then I would be looking to move.

My DD used to get her canvas shoes from Grishko. They have a great range with lots of different widths. Only problem was it got a bit pricey once she was dancing full time and started wearing them out super fast. She swapped to Capezio after that but i cant remember the model sorry.

The ISTD Modern syllabus includes lyrical and jazz components,or at least it did when my DD did it, some years ago now. That would be a good next step for a little girl wanting to diversify, in my opinion. An 8 year old certainly wont have the physical or emotional maturity for contemporary but modern is a good string to the bow. I think American shows like Dance Moms muddy the water as what they call Contemporary is definitely not - it would be modern or lyrical modern in a UK festival.

I don't know what the norm is in the USA of course, but here I would say most 7 year olds would be wearing socks for class. Tights are often worn for perfirmance though. Personally, at age 7 I didnt worry about brands for tights etc. It is different when you are talking about a teenager who is in full time training and is wearing dance tights more or less all day every day when excellent comfort and fit are essential. But at 7 your daughter wont be wearing them for long periods and she will probably grow out of them in the blink of an eye. Ebay is as good as anywhere for basics such as tights in my opinion. Full footed tights are generally the least expensive type. The convertible type are great for older girls who need to get at their feet during class, for example to put padding or toe spacers in if they switch to pointe shoes mid class, or if part of the class is done in shoes and part in bare feet. Check with the teacher, but most 7 year olds will be fine with full footed tights, if they need them at all. Keep things simple and don't buy anything uneccessarily expensive. If your daughter sticks with dancing it is going to cost you a lot of money in the long run so save your money where you can!

Its a long time since my DD had her first pointe shoe fitting but I remember it well. We live in a rural area with no suitable shops nearby so we drove a couple of hundred miles, spent an hour or two whilst she tried dozens of shoes on and came home empty handed. The fitter said she could have sold us a pair of shoes that "would do" for DD's feet but she wasnt satisfied with that. She knew she could get a better fit if she ordered in some different brands and styles and encouraged us to wait and try again rather than "make do". DD was disappointed, my husband was infuriated and I was impressed with the fitter who prioritised doing the right thing over getting a sale. She knew we had come a long way and that there was no guarantee we would return. But we did, and even though she had of course never been on pointe before DD said she could instantly tell the difference between the ok shoes and the right shoes. So my advice is to find a shop that sells a lot of brands and be patient. Try shoes on with whatever padding she will be using - probably whatever her teacher recommends in the first instance as she wont know what she likes until she has tried different things. Also you need to understand that choosing pointe shoes is not a one off thing. As your DD grows and progresses her feet will change and her preferred brand or style of shoe may change, as may her choice of padding. I didnt realise that at first - I thought once you had found "THE shoes" that was it, so I got a shock when the lengthy process had to be repeated multiple times, though fortunately my DD did settle on one type eventually. Once her fittings had been consistent over several visits and I was sure her feet had stopped growing I was happy to order on line, but i wouldn't advise that early on. Good luck with your hunt!

Oh your poor little girl, that must have been a nasty tumble. On a positive note, at least it has happened just before the school holidays so there is a natural rest period coming up. Its not audition or exam season and I guess regular classes will be breaking up for the holidays soon. So her friends will soon be taking a break too and she has the summer to recover properly before hopefully getting back to classes refreshed and healed in September. I can empathise with the frustration. My sporty son is currently injured (from a silly slip on a school trip so not even a "proper" injury in his book!) and it is right in the middle of his sporting season. He had got off to a pretty good start to the season but is now watching himself plummet down the rankings as he can't compete. But that is life unfortunately, and hard as it is these things happen. The temptation to return too early is very strong but needs to be resisted as it is likely to be counterproductive. A month or two of missed classes or even a written off season feel like a disaster to our kids at the time, but ultimately they aren't going to have a long term effect on their lives. But a permanantly damaged joint certainly would. Keep her occupied other ways. Ask if non weight bearing activities are an option - my son has been advised to swim - but if not, find other stuff to fill the days. She will soon be back on her feet hopefully. Young tissues generally heal well if given the conditions to do so.

I am a big fan of EYB and I think that in my observation they do try hard to ensure all the children get seen. As obviously one of the stronger girls in her age group I would hazzard a guess tgat your DD would be likely to be cast in one of the smaller groups so whilst she might not be on stage for any longer than the chikdren in the larger groups you would see more of her, if that makes sense? But obviously thats just a guess based on my observations and experience. What I would say though is that EYB is potentially a recurring opportunity for your DD, with multiple productions around the country every year and eligibility up to age 18. Can you say the same for dancing with the BRB or is that more likely to be a one off opportunity?? In your shoes, that would sway my decision considerably. EYB is a great organisation but the chance to dance with a professional company like BRB isn't something that comes to everyone..

Yes, you certainly can do more than one associate scheme. It is not uncommon for children to do two or more. Whether you should do is a different matter of course and one that only you and your young dancer can decide. As a previous poster has said, it really all boils down to whether the commitment is workable for your family on a range of levels. One thing I would say, is that when you have a talented and enthusiastic child it is easy to get swept along and take every opportunity that presents itself. Unfortunately that can morph into a feeling that you HAVE to do everything possible, that "everyone else is doing it" and that you are puttling your child at a disadvantage if you dont. This isnt restricted to ballet of course - it happens in all kinds of fields like sports, music and so on. I've seen it a lot, and been guilty of being sucked into that kind of behaviour myself at times, but I am now certain that you definitely can have too much of a good thing and that the importance of getting enough rest cannot be stressed too much. If doing 2 or more schemes works logistically, doesn't eat too much into family life, doesn't exhaust or upset your child or negatively affect school work that's great. But if it means frantic drives for a stressed parent with an already tired child who eats most of their meals in the back of the car and never gets any real down time, then think again. I've concluded that if I start to notice that there is more tupperware than proper crockery in the dishwasher then it means the kids are doing too much!

With EYB you get to watch the audition as obviously you already know, then that is it in terms of parental viewing until the last rehearsal day in the school. Then you get to watch a full run through of the performance without costumes - the change from the audition is usually quite amazing. There is always a space made available for parents in the school being used for rehearsals so you do have somewhere to sit if you are not local, but you are not allowed to watch anything. Personally I usually went out to find something to do during rehearsals, even if it was just mooch around the shops - they are long days otherwise.

One of my DD's former teachers trained there. I know a sample of one is totally meaningless but she is an excellent teacher! I believe they do the ISTD teacher training alongside more general dance training, and quite a few of the graduates go on to do things like cruise ship and holiday resort work as teaching. My DD had lessons with a lady who was one of the senior tutors at Preston over the summer a few years ago. I believe she has left now unfortunately but my DD learned a lot from her at the time. A couple of girls from my DD's old school went there but i am not sure what they went on to do. I believe the enjoyed the course though. They were both strong dancers and I think they would have probably got places on more well known courses had they not preferred to stay relatively close to home. From my admittedly limited knowledge, it does seem to be quite a good course even though its not as well known as some others.

It does kind of happen in sport actually - well in cycling anyway, Im not sure about other sports. Not that you're not first if you cross the line first, but the "value" of that first can vary depending on the number and quality of your opponents. The number of points that you gain towards your national and regional rankings vary according to the race. You can come 4th in some races and gain no points but the same position in another race will gain you 7. So I guess its the same kind of principle.

As a PP says, you just have to wait until EYB are in your area and look at the schedule at the time. The rehearsals are never entirely predictable as they depend on factors such as availability of the venue, which is generally a local school, and travel times for the EYB team. They often have 3 productions on the go in different parts of the country at once - one at the audition stage, one near the beginning of rehearsals and one approaching performance - logistics must be very challenging. So until the details for your particular production are finalised you cant know for sure. My DD did EYB 4 times and the schedule was slightly different each time. Some had more weekends and others more days in school holidays depending on the time of year. EYB is a great experience but it can be hard work, with long days especially for younger children and particularly if you have a lot if travel involved too. They cram a lot of work into a relatively short time. Seeing the change from audition to final performance is one of the best things from the parental point of view. But for that reason, they do expect pretty much full commitment for the programme. Miss Lewis will accept occasional unavoidable absences but she gets annoyed - quite understandably in my opinion - if dancers are persistently late or missing due overcommitment. A lot can be missed in one session and as well as making it harder for the individual who was missing it is unfair on the dancers who are there as they are learning with a gap or inderstudy.( Its also tough on the understudies in fact.) Missing a couple of sessions can significantly impact on the quality of a dance. I know its tempting to sign up for everything and hope you can manage to squeeze it all in but sometimes its best to pick a smaller number of programmes, do them really well and ensure sufficient rest. Over the years I have seen (and sometimes been!) so many families who are leaving one activity early to arrive at another one slightly late, stressed, tired and always playing catch up and I've concluded that that is not good for anyone. If you can fit it in, EYB is a fantastic experience, but i would advise seriously assessing the commitment if you have associates to fit in already.