Pups_mum

I think that the key thing is that the dancer, and to a degree the parents/rest of the family have to "enjoy the ride". The same goes for lots of other things - sports and music spring to my mind as that's what I have experience of, but I am sure there are lots of others. If the only acceptable goal is a "top flight" professional career in any of those spheres and anything less is viewed as failure then there will almost certainly be huge disappointment looming. As Anna says, the chances of any individual child achieving a career in a classical company, or indeed playing in an orchestra, winning an Olympic medal or the FA cup are incredibly small. Obviously if you don't try you definitely won't achieve such goals, and *someone* has to be chosen, but it must be tempered by realism. Plans B, C and beyond are essential and the young person must be enjoying what they do. Even if they do have a professional performing career it will be short lived in most instances so they need other strings to their bows. I think it is *really* hard as a parent to know what to do for the best. We all want to give our children every opportunity that we can, and we all want what is best for them. But sometimes allowing the relentless pursuit of a dream is *not* what is best for them. But that can be hard for us, and them to see. Finding the balance is very hard and we will all get it wrong at times. I made *lots* of mistakes with DD, some big ones, but fortunately we all seem to have come out of it more or less unscathed. But I know others who haven't. I've seen people virtually bankrupt themselves, family relationships destroyed and individuals very damaged by the desire to support a child's dance/music/sports career at at all costs. I believe that is too high a price, though it can be very hard to get off the roller coaster once you are on it. I am in a similar position with my sporty child at the moment. I've just said that they cannot go to the sporting equivalent of an associates scheme that would mean we would be out til midnight on a school night every week. I've done the thing where most meals are eaten in the car or gobbled down late at night and family life is ruled by one activity and I am not doing it (as much!) again. Yet I don't regret our dance journey. We've had a lot of fun, met some fabulous people and DD is happy where she is now, having picked up a lot of transferable skills and resilience in bucket loads. I just wish I'd insisted on a bit more balance and I'm hoping I can do that with sporty child - but already I feel the pressure to do what "everyone else" is doing!

As others have said,the panel definitely don't watch all candidates equally in most auditions. Or at least that was my, now adult, DD's experience. She probably didn't notice it at such a young age but as she got older she was definitely aware of whether she was of interest to the panel or not. Obviously when dealing with very young children audition panels are kinder and I am sure they try to make it less obvious, but most of the time they probably do make their minds up quite quickly. Of course the video audition is new so its natural to worry if your child has been treated fairly, and it does make differences more obvious, but please don't think that all candidates get equal attention in a live audition whereas video candidates don't. Remember that "yes" decisions can also sometimes be made very quickly so a short viewing doesn't necessarily mean a "no". My advice would be not to try to analyse anything as it has the capacity to drive you mad. Both from personal experience and from reading others' experiences on here over many years I have concluded that the best policy for an audition is to show up, be yourself, do your best and forget about it. It is impossible to ever know for sure what precisely any panel wants - only they know that. Its so easy to get into the habit of trying to interpret every little thing, like what is the significance of the group or number your DC was given, were the dancers who were asked to do something different the definite yesses or the maybes etc etc. But you can't know. And it is a stressful enough experience as it is without added pressure. So I would say, enjoy the experience, treat every audition as a class that can be learned from and(when live!) an opportunity to visit a different place and then put it from your mind til the results come. If its then a yes, that's great, but if not, its hopefully still been a positive experience and you are no worse off. "Nos" are hard but there are more of them than "yesses" by a long way. Remember that only something like 1:10 are accepted at JA auditions. I always reminded my DD that she was still the same dancer, and more importantly the same person, after she opened a result as she was before. The words on a letter or email didn't make her any better or worse. Sorry, I've rambled as usual. But basically, have fun and don't tie yourself in knots trying to understand audition panels!

I don't disagree. Though I don't think it is acceptable to treat minors or young adults abusively. But you asked what other industries treated their trainees like this and I answered, from personal experience. These issues are not unique to ballet. It doesn't make them ok, for anyone but lots of professions, sports, art forms etc treat their young people very poorly, Many have addressed them more effectively than ballet however.

Other industries definitely have treated employees like that, though I think the tide has turned in many. Certainly my experiences at medical school in the 80s were not dissimilar, though the humiliation was centred on intellectual ability rather than physique. But the need to be "tough" if you were going to survive the profession was very much stressed. Quite a lot has changed now, but only in relatively recent years, and I think the undercurrent is still there. And there is an element of truth in it. Protecting young people from the reality of highly competitive and demanding professions does them no favours. If someone doesn't have the necessary attributes for any given profession and is not likely to be able to develop them, or indeed if the job isn't actually as appealing to them as they thought, then it is surely better to realise that soon enough to hopefully be able to change direction relatively easily. And resilience is a vital thing to learn. That basic premise is correct. The problem is the methods by which it is "taught". Most professions have realised that fear does not get the most out of people, that there are ways measure aptitude and progress relatively objectively, and that even unpalatable truths can be delivered in ways that are not psychologically damaging. I have a feeling that fields where tradition is valued very highly tend to be slower adopters of more scientific approaches to training, and dance, particularly ballet, seems to be one of those. That is difficult because of course there is much wonderful and valuable tradition in the ballet world, but some of it is very ugly. The challenge is to get rid of the bad stuff whilst maintaining the good, and I have no idea how that can be done. But some of the professional contributors to recent threads on this general topic give me hope that it is indeed possible.

I had the same experience at school. I was no good at any of the very limited range of sports that were on offer at my school in the 70s and whilst that wasn't the sole reason that I was badly bullied it definitely didn't help. I also hated exercise and didn't discover any sports that I enjoyed until middle age. It frustrates me that I have missed out on so much enjoyment because the bullying school PE teachers convinced me that exercise was actually a form of torture that I couldn't wait to escape from at the earliest opportunity. Humiliation and fear are not good motivators. Well, they may achieve short term success, but long term they don't deliver the best results. I think that in many fields educators have moved away from merely replicating the way that they were taught and believing that "it never did us any harm" but there are sections of the performing arts and sporting worlds that seem to be stuck somehow. Hopefully some of the young (and not so young) people who are now recognising that they have been harmed are going to go on to become teachers, coaches and leaders in their fields and break the cycle.

I've just read a very sad article on the BBC website about mental health issues in horse racing jockeys. Not a sport I follow so not something I would have thought about, but it made sobering reading and there was a lot of commonality with dance, gymnastics, cycling and I am sure other sports. As well as the pressure to be the best, weight rears its head again and again. I don't know what the answer is, as obviously there are lots of advantages to being very slim in a number of physical pursuits and that cannot be eliminated. But it set me thinking about our responsibility as audiences/fans of dance and/or sports. It is easy to blame the teachers and coaches (and I in no way wish to minimise the damage done by abusive people) but it is more complex than that isn't it? They are producing a "product" for our consumption, because that is what we want. Or at least it is what they think we want. Are we potentially part of the problem, and if so, what can we do about it? Exposing abuse is important, but there must be more. None of us would go to, say, a gladiator fight nowadays yet in more "civilised" ways human beings are still being damaged, mentally, physically or both, for our entertainment. I can't help thinking that there needs to be a bigger cultural change. I am no better than anyone else - I enjoy watching slim dancers and I cheer for my favourite cyclists who I know are required to have ridiculously low % body fat - but am starting to think that perhaps that is the fundamental problem and that practices won't truly change until we, the consumers, demand a different product.

Going off the topic a bit, but this line made me laugh because it reminded me of a lecture that I gave many years ago to medical students on the anatomical and physiological differences between neonates and adults. My opening line was meant to be "Babies are NOT mini adults." But I was met by very confused looks as what I actually said was "Babies are NOT mini humans...." I think they began doubting my credentials at that point.🤣🤣 It is a serious point though. Babies, children and adolescents are, physically, mentally and emotionally, very different beings to adults, and indeed to each other - it is not just a size thing. That is why generally we have different health care professionals, teachers etc for each group. I think dance teachers have a lot asked of then actually. There aren't many other people who work with the whole age range and I think it is very difficult, probably impossible actually, for any teacher to be equally expert with all groups. Yet they are often expected to be all things to all pupils. Especially in light of recent revelations in other physical activities I would agree that any dance teacher or sports coach who works with children and/or adolescents would benefit from at least basic study of child development, growth etc as the growing body is a lot more vulnerable in many ways and not everything is as obvious or intuitive as it might seem.

I'm not a teacher, and I am nowhere near London so can't help from that perspective, but my DD did festivals for many years, so I do have a bit of knowledge. Each festival should publish its syllabus well in advance and that will tell you the rules around age groups, length of dance, age restrictions on pointe work, props etc etc. Festivals that are affiliated to All England will follow their rules but there are plenty that aren't and sometimes rules are subtly different so its always worth carefully checking each time. I always advise parents who are thinking of starting festivals to start out by watching a few to see if its its something they are sure they want to get into, as it can end up a lot of time, expense and work for both the dancers and the parents. I guess the same applies to teachers! Whilst the big, All England qualifying festivals tend to be the highest standard and often have the best adjudicators, I would give serious consideration to starting off with some smaller local festivals if possible. That would give you, your dancers, and their parents the opportunity to find their feet a bit more, rather than jumping straight in at the deep end. Doing your first festival somewhere where there are 35 dancers in the section and the other 34 are confident, experienced competitors could be a very daunting experience for a young person. Some festivals have Novice and Open sections. The Novice sections are often restricted to dancers who have not been placed in the top 3 at a previous festival (though the rules do vary, so be sure to check!) so they are ideal for new starters as often give a confidence boost. The genres available also vary but broadly speaking there are the Classical genres which are ballet, character,national, and sometimes classical greek, and the Cabaret classes - tap, modern and song & dance. Some also have a separate lyrical modern section, contemporary and acro, and there are sometimes sections for the dancers own choreography and impromptu. I've probably forgotten some too! Then there are duets, trios and troupes often split into broader age groups and categories than the solo classes eg it might be classical duets which would have duos from any of the classical genres competing against each other. Personally I would suggest duets/trios or solos as a starter, and don't enter each dancer for more than a couple of dances initially. There is a special stress that only the parents of dancers who have had 10 solos, 4 duets, 3 trios and 3 groups in one festival know about and you really need to build up to it! 😁 Groups might seem attractive as the dancers are not on their own, but as others have said they are a huge amount of work for all concerned and have their own pressures. My DD used to find groups the most stressful, partly because if you mess up your solo, its only you that's affected, but in a group, you feel like you've let all your friends down. Also, if something goes wrong in a solo it can be disguised, whereas that's very hard in a group. My DD won the ballet championship at quite a big festival once doing a dance that bore absolutely no resemblance to what her teacher had choreographed. She went completely blank when the music started so she just improvised! Obviously you can't do that in a group.The other stress with groups is that there seems to be continual rechoreographing as people come and go, often last minute if someone is ill or suddenly decides to go on holiday 2 days before the festival.🙀 If you have a group already suitable, say from a show, and you have a group of very committed dancers and parents, then it might be ok as a starter, but otherwise I would leave it until you have a core group of dancers who are established in festivals. Also, you get all kinds of shapes and sizes of stages at different festivals and adapting the dance to the space on the hoof (literally!) can be very difficult. Dancers get better at that with experience and it is easier to develop that skill in a solo or duet than in a group. My DDs old teacher used to hire the theatre where our local festival was held for an evening a week or two beforehand. It was great for first timers or those with new dances to have a few run throughs on the actual stage so if you can do that it is worth considering. OK, I think I've rambled on a bit! There are pros and cons to festivals but overall we had very positive experiences and made lots of friends. DD learned a lot - life lessons as much as dance lessons-and I'm glad she had that opportunity. Good luck!

I suspect that every sport/activity has skeletons in its cupboard, especially those where weight has an impact on performance and especially where there is a high percentage of female participants. Misogyny runs deep in society unfortunately. Of course it isn't only in physical pursuits that abuse can occur - there have been big issues in some music schools for example - but there is a particular kind of abuse that is more specific to activities where physique is important. I think awareness is increasing and people are starting to stand up and say "no, this is not ok" but the balance of power is still very much in favour of the potential abusers, and is likely to remain so whilst competition for limited places is so high . Ironically, whilst I have Safeguarding training through my work, far more of my knowledge on the subject comes from the education I have had as a volunteer sports coach in an organisation that has been seriously criticised by some of its elite athletes in recent years. Whether the training that I, and people like me, receive, is indicative of a paradigm shift in attitude throughout the organisation or of a chasm between the grassroots and elite programmes I am not sure. Either way, hopefully it means that youngsters coming up through the system will have a better experience and be less vulnerable if they do progress to elite training. Of course it is a very complex problem. Not all abusers are male. Not all victims are female. But girls and young women are particularly vulnerable to this kind of abuse for all kinds of reasons so I view this as very much a feminist issue. Unfortunately I don't know what the answer is- its highly complex - but I am certain that talking about it is very important and applaud the makers of Athlete A for bringing this issue to more people's attention.

Am I the only one who read the title of this thread and thought "Oh, interesting. I didn't know there was a ballet company based in Bath"?! 😂

Oh yes, I hate the "you can be anything you want if you try hard enough" ethos because it simply isn't true - we don't live in a Disney movie! I know people who say that kind of thing are often just trying to be encouraging. The same goes for the oft told stories of people who "made it big" in their fields despite having major disadvantages like being a late starter or having the "wrong" physique. Those stories can be very inspiring but what people often forget is that those who make it against all the odds are usually absolutely exceptional in other respects. It is a fine line to tread as one thing that is for sure is that if you don't work hard then you almost certainly won't succeed but I think young people trying to enter any particularly competitive field need to be realistic. I was very pleased to read the piece of work that my sporty son had done on goal setting at a recent online masterclass. A year or two ago I know his long term goal would have said something like "GB Olympic Team" but now it says "University First or Second Team".He is good at his sport, very good in fact, and he works extremely hard, but he is not going to grow to the height that a national level player needs to be, and that is more or less unsurmountable. He would certainly need to be a lot, lot, better than a very good junior to overcome that hurdle. There are those who will say that you should always aim for the very top but I disagree - you should always aim to be the best that you can be, recognising that not everyone can go to the Olympics or be a soloist with the Royal Ballet. So many things influence outcomes, and many of those are outside our control, especially physical factors. The biggest danger of the "you can be anything you want to be" ethos is that when most, inevitably, find that's not true, then they will be left feeling either lied to, or that it is their fault - they didn't work hard enough or didn't "want it" badly enough to succeed. Often nothing could be further from the truth, and those beliefs can be very damaging.

It does all sound very complex and confusing. My heart goes out to all dance teachers. Not only have most of them had significant financial concerns throughout this whole period, they've had to deal with completely changing the way they teach, literally overnight, but now the stress of trying to figure out how to safely restart, in the face of conflicting and rapidly changing advice. What a nightmare! I can empathise to a degree as I am the Chair and a Coach at a children's sports club and I have been having sleepless nights over our planned restart. There are so many considerations. You think you've figured it out and then someone spots something you haven't thought of, or the guidance changes and your carefully thought out plans don't fit any more. Some of the parents think your precautions are too restrictive and a similar number that they don't go far enough. We can't confirm how sessions would be run until have a reasonable idea of numbers likely to attend, but people understandably don't want to commit until they know what is on offer. Our income will drop as we will have lower numbers and our expenditure is increasing, but if we increase fees the risk is that people are put off and income drops further. The government, our governing body and the organisation that we hire our facilities from are all saying subtly different things about what they expect of us, and some parents can't understand why we are not up and running already as technically our activity have been allowed for 2 weeks now. It really is very, very hard. And we have the advantage of being outdoors and of being a voluntary group. We do want to provide a service and we want to ensure the survival of our club for years to come, but unlike most dance schools nobody is trying to make a living out of it and nobody's business and long term financial future is hanging in the balance. So comparatively, we've got it easy. When you are not in the thick of things is easy to criticise those who are. The solutions seem "obvious" when it isn't you trying to implement them. The people here are without doubt the most rational and reasonable group of people I have ever come across on an internet forum, so I know I am preaching to the choir here really. However, even the best of us are getting to the end of our tethers re lockdown and some are deeply concerned about their DCs training, so it is natural that many want to get back into the studio as soon as possible. Announcements like this from the RAD are very encouraging but PLEASE be patient and understanding with your teachers. Those that I know are working their socks off to get things going again and have all the same wishes and worries that the dancers and parents have. I was talking to a dance teacher in Scotland today in fact and she was saying how stressed she us about the number of parents ringing to ask her when she will be allowed to open again, as studios seem to be opening in England. Obviously she is pleased that they are keen, but she doesn't have Nicola Sturgeon on speed dial and will find out at the same time as everyone else - and then have to react quickly! Please continue to support your dance teachers, and those who run any other activities your children take part in, but give them the time and space they need to plan and prepare for a safe reopening. Hopefully it won't be too much longer now!

I'm no expert, and there will be others who are far more knowledgeable along later I'm sure. But as I understand it, the dangers of early pointe work are two fold. First there is the risk of an acute injury ie the child is not physically or technically strong enough to do what is being asked of them and they get hurt due to falling or twisting or something. Then secondly, the risk of longer term damage to the feet. Even with correct technique, obviously dancing en pointe is not natural for the human foot and large loads are put through the bones, ligaments and joints. Children's bones are relatively "soft" and don't become fully ossified until beyond puberty. Some of the growth plates in bones don't close until the late teens or even early 20s in some cases. So they are more susceptible to damage. I think one of the commoner problems is the dancer developing hallux valgus, or bunions, where the big toes become deformed. Also, as already mentioned, younger children may not be capable of performing the techniques correctly so develop bad habits or "cheats" to enable them to do things that are actually technically beyond them. That can also lead to additional strain on the body. The effects may be immediate relatively early or not until later in life when the dancer develops arthritis in the feet and ankles etc. As to why some people are badly affected and others aren't, well I guess that is just down to human variation. My DD has friends who didn't start pointe work til relatively late and have developed foot problems whereas she, with hindsight, started too early (about 10/11) but so far, has had no foot issues at all. Different foot shapes, relative strength vs flexibility, technique, shoe fit, bone age/age of onset of puberty all probably contribute as well as lots of other factors that I have no clue about. Its definitely not the case that if you start pointe below a certain age there will be issues and if you wait til later you will be fine. But as a general rule, starting very young increases the likelihood of injury or long term foot problems. I think Natalia Osipova is only in her early 30s so unfortunately she may yet develop bone and joint problems consequent to her childhood training.

So sorry to hear of the disappointments, especially as these young people have had more stresses to deal with than average this year. In some ways I think it is harder to get so close and then be unable to take up a place than it is to receive a "no" in the first round of auditions. Remember that your children have demonstrated real potential to get to this point, and that there will be more opportunities in the future. I was watching a video with my sporty son today, in which one of his sports heroes was giving advice to young atheletes. He started by saying how those who are "the best" at youth level are not necessarily those destined for professional success. Early success, he suggested, was largely down to physical strength, with those boys who hit puberty early often winning by virtue of superior power. But, he went on to say, that all evens out with time, and indeed the late bloomers may ultimately have the edge, because they have learned superior skills, tactics and resilience as they couldn't simply rely on brute strength. He encouraged those who aren't at the top currently to keep trying whilst cautioning those who are the big winners at the moment not to become complacent and to explore their weaknesses. Obviously that advice doesn't carry over to dance precisely, but the principles certainly do. The game is definitely not over at 11, or even necessarily at 16 and disappointment today may become strength tomorrow.

Apologies @Dance*is*life - I must be confusing you with someone else. I think I may be losing my marbles!

If I recall rightly from previous posts @Dance*is*life is in Australia, which has so far had just over 100 Covid-19 related deaths in total since the outbreak began. It is great to hear of something approaching normal life returning anywhere and I really hope our Australasian friends continue to stay safe as their lockdowns ease. But Australia and New Zealand are some of the least badly affected countries in the world so far and the UK is one of the worst. We are still seeing more deaths per day that Australia has had in total. It is lovely to hear positive stories and it does indeed give us hope, but I think we need to bear in mind that the background is very different. Given the severity of the outbreak here, and the fact that we are approaching what would be the summer break here anyway, I think we probably do need to prepare ourselves and our children for the fact that there are unlikely to be any face to face classes before September at the earliest. If things improve sooner than anticipated that will be a bonus, but with it becoming clearer that the majority of schoolchildren will not be returning in this academic year, I think it is hard for dance schools, sports clubs etc to do anything different. We have pretty much mentally written off my son's sports season, though he is still training, but for fitness and fun, rather than because he anticipates the return of competition.

@Pinkpip100 I completely understand why you are uncomfortable with the idea that your DD is "better" than the others at her dance school, as it is such an emotive word, but she is definitely "different". Out of all the 10/11 year olds in the country who take dance lessons, only a tiny percentage apply for vocational schools and of those, a very small proportion get as far as finals. Your DD clearly has potential. She is different to the majority of pupils in a typical local dance school and so requires a different approach. Don't be afraid to ask for that, and if her current teacher cannot provide what she needs, do look for additional or alternative provision. Personally, I would expect a good teacher to recognise and nurture potential in a pupil and also to recognise their own strengths and weaknesses. I'm not a dance teacher but I coach at a children's sports club. Like a typical dance school, the majority of our members are "once a week" kids, with a small number of more able and focused children. The latter group all also attend other clubs, regional training sessions etc and in fact we actively encourage them to do that. I don't see it as any slight on our club or my ability as a coach - we want *all* our kids to enjoy themselves and reach their full potential and that sometimes means signposting them elsewhere, both for the more performance focused coaching and contact with other similar children. Being a big fish in a small pond is generally unhelpful in the long term. It really is fine to look for more- don't feel that you are being unreasonable.

I would also let the teacher know that @Peony Your kids' teacher may well be thinking that s/he is doing something "wrong" and that maybe your children are doing someone else's classes because they are better. They would probably rather know that your children aren't engaging with any online classes than be left wondering. I think that's important on a number of levels, including as glowlight says, giving the teacher some reassurance that it is the medium that is the problem rather than them, and giving them some understanding of where their pupils are likely to be up to when normal classes resume. If the teacher knows that online classes don't do it for your children, maybe s/he can think of some different suggestions? By coincidence I've recently had exactly this conversation with a teacher that I am close to. Numbers at her online classes have dropped off somewhat and her immediate reaction was that its because she's not teaching well enough and her pupils must be going elsewhere. In reality there are probably multiple different reasons. Some children will be like yours and simply not enjoy online classes at all. I think at the beginning, even though it was obvious that this is a serious situation, there was a bit of an element of fun and excitement to trying out all these new types of classes and being off school, but as time has gone on, the novelty has worn off and lots of people, adults and children, are getting less enthusiastic about all kinds of things. Some families will be struggling more than others for space. Others will now have 2 parents working from home and multiple children homeschooling with a broadband connection that just can't cope. Some will be ill or have a sick family member who needs peace and quiet currently. Some families, sadly, will be starting to experience real financial hardship and dance classes may have become a luxury that they just cannot afford. There are so many possible reasons, some of which the teachers might be able to do something about and others not. But if they don't know they definitely can't help. Not that I am advocating sending a message that says "Your classes are dreadful. My children are bored stiff." But even negative feedback can be constructive if given well.

Well said Alison. I know exactly how hard the "ordinary" dance teachers that I know are working and how much they care about their pupils. I do think it is wonderful that well known people are doing what they can to support young dancers, and giving their time and expertise freely. I am sure they also face many of the challenges that regular teachers do, but I do think that there are additional stresses when there are personal relationships between teachers and pupils/parents, and a business to keep afloat too. So I would share your plea for people to continue to support their core teachers if they possibly can. And not just financially. Please give them some feedback. I'm in a similar position as I've been trying to provide online support in my capacity as a volunteer sports coach. I'm not running a business, but I am trying to keep a club going, and I do genuinely care about the kids and want to give them something of value. It's so much harder and more time consuming to create online content than to deliver normal sessions and there will always be some ideas that work better than others. But it gets pretty demoralising when you get very little feedback. The dance teachers that I am close to have said similar. We are all missing human interaction, and particularly when creating pre recorded content it is quite odd to be talking to a camera with no idea what response there is. A quick message with a suggestion, even if its just can you speak a bit slower or move the camera slightly, or a comment about what you particularly enjoyed will probably help your teacher improve and give them a real boost.

I agree with Mrs Brown. Its disappointing but just chalk it down to experience and move on. The important thing is that the dancers take the learning from these grades and can progress. I imagine the video experience was difficult for all concerned and your pupils did very well to get through it under the circumstances. I don't have any young dancers at home any more, but my son has missed a music exam. Its hard to keep him motivated on pieces that he has been practising for what now feels like eternity, with no new dates scheduled, but he still wants to do the exam to have the recognition for the work he has done. I suspect that by the time the exam comes around he will have gone off the boil,but we shall see. If he had had the chance to do it just before lockdown I think we would have taken it, even though he wasn't quite ready as it would have been better than being left in limbo. I think with dance it us even harder because your pupils will have missed so much by the time they return that I imagine you would have to do quite a lot of work with them before they were exam ready again. That could be quite demotivating I would think. Better that you have the excitment of new grades to look forward to when face to face lessons resume than a possible feeling of " oh no,not this exercise again".

Oh I think you are entitled to complain @Princess dreams That sounds a really stressful situation to be in. I know what you mean though. When you hear about some of the tragedies that have befallen people it does feel bad to get stressed over things like exams and college places, but these things are still very real worries. If you were in hospital with a broken leg the fact that the person in the next bed had 2 broken legs might well make you feel grateful that you weren't more badly injured, but it wouldn't make your pain unimportant. With 3 children at crucial stages of their education and your husband in another country you have a huge amount on your plate. You are doing fantastically well to maintain a positive attitude. I hope you get some good news soon, especially regarding the reserve lists. If it helps at all, there are lots of us here who can relate to at least some of what you are going through - you are not alone.

I was just coming to post the same link as Jane. It seems a bit extreme to be effectively ruling out face to face lectures for a year already. Its a terribly difficult situation for all concerned though - I have no idea what the correct answer is. But given we don't know what is happening from one week to the next at the moment I wouldn't think anyone can really predict what the state of play will be next year. Presumably Cambridge plus other large and well established Universities are going to be better placed to weather the storm than smaller institutions, and are also confident that they will still get students without face to face tuition, but that won't be the case everywhere. And how on earth can subjects with a large practical component be taught remotely long term? It really is a nightmare. My middle child is currently in year 12 and I am at a loss to know what the best thing for him is. He only has a vague idea what he wants to do after A levels and with no chance to visit Universities prior to applying its even harder to decide. If significant numbers of institutions close down there may not even be places for everyone. He's a maths/science geek so I suppose his chances of finding a course are better than some, but there are certainly no guarantees.And goodness knows what the impact might be on fees, funding etc. Its so hard to know what to do for the best. Obviously huge numbers are affected by this crisis in different ways but my heart bleeds for the many bright and talented young people who have had the rug pulled from under them. I still follow my DD's old dance school on social media and was recently reading about the planned destinations of a number of their current pupils. If it isn't hard enough to get offered places and secure funding at the best of times, now they don't know whether they will actually be able to go, or even if all the colleges will survive. Longer term, job prospects look bleaker than ever, with talk of theatres closing and I cannot imagine the cruise industry recovering quickly. It really is like something out of a disaster movie. I keep hoping I am going to wake up and find its all a bad dream.😥

Good point @alison There is so much we simply don't know about the long term effects of this virus. By coincidence I was reading this article earlier. One would hope that professional dancers receive the same kind of care. https://www.cyclingnews.com/news/lotto-soudal-riders-undergo-covid-19-antibody-tests/

Congrats to your DD Lemongirl. LSC is a great college. My DD had an offer from there quite a few years ago now and it was mainly the financial side that led to her declining the place. Yes, your DD will be entitled to student finance but you need to check carefully how much. As I say, it is a few years since we were in your position, and things may well have changed, but at the time we could only get a loan for £6k of the fees, which obviously left a significant gap. Plus as meadowblythe says the living expenses are quite high. I don't want to panic you and it may not be the case now anyway, but do read the detail on the financial side of things carefully. We went from "Yaay!" to "Ohhhh...." quite quickly when I started to do the sums. We could have done it actually but DD was adamant that she didn't want her younger siblings to miss out on anything so she chose a less expensive route. I regret it at times to be honest, but its all water under the bridge now and she is happy with how things have turned out, but I do think she would have enjoyed LSC. Good luck to your DD.

It is good to hear about the ingenuity of all these young people, the good humour of the parents and the resillience of everyone! There are no dancers left in our house now but that hasn't stopped the house being taken over by various activities. This afternoon my husband was videoconferencing for hours in the office 💻whilst son number 1 was doing piano practice in the dining room 🎹and son number 2 was cycling in the living room🚴‍♂️ As it had stopped raining I thought I would escape to the garden for a while 🌻 so I picked my way through the airfix models being built in the hall 🛫and past the bits of boat in the porch⛵ only to find 14 ducklings waddling round the lawn. 🦆They were super cute but their Mum made it clear that she didn't welcome my presence. I had to retreat back indoors to the kitchen - the only room that nobody else seems to have claimed yet! Seriously though, I do feel very lucky to have so much space. Whilst it can get a bit annoying to have the house turned upside down, I cannot begin to imagine what it must be like for families with young children living in, say, flats with limited room and no access to safe outside spaces. Let's hope that things do continue to stabilise so that there is some relief for all those who are suffering in different ways and a return to normality for our children and ourselves. Stay strong everyone 💙