KathyG Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 They will also appreciate letters and parcels from Granny/Aunty/Sister etc. My sister use to call DS on his walk to school while she walked her dogs something they are both currently missing. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evie Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 As a mum who has seen her 18year old off to uni and 11year old off to vocational school, I can tell you it is definitely not the same!! I text or rang my uni son every day to make sure he was eating properly for weeks (even though he was catered for), but I held onto the fact that he was a grown up now, with other 18 year olds and this was the start of adulthood. It's not the same for an 11 year old, they are still small children, who climb into your bed for cuddles and still look for reassurance when they fall out with friends. I also saw my 4ft 9ins, 18year old daughter off to work in Paris a couple of years ago, struggling with a giant suitcase at the train station. It broke my heart to see her go, but it wasn't the same either, she was starting out with her first job abroad and last year I saw her off again to work in Mexico! Some dc will cope better than others and the same for their mums and dads. I just have a deep saddness in the pit of my stomach that won't go away, but I haven't cried once! I wish I could be upbeat and happy to reassure other mums and dads, but there's no point me lying is there, I find it incredibly hard without him, but there are plenty of other mums on this forum who have the knack of being upbeat and offering supportive words of wisdom. That might be me in the future!!! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tulip Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 Evie you will eventually start to feel better, it takes time. I have said plenty of times on this forum that I missed out on having my youngest and only daughter at home. Even at 11 I still used to sit her on my knee for cuddles, In effect I did baby her. She herself was not babyish, but was and still is a lovely lovely girl. This is all about how much as a mum I have missed out on. However we me and her dad allowed her to go away, which is what she strongly wanted. Now she is 17, she says for her it was very much the right decision to go away. This enabled her to have training and education under one roof. I am still incredibly close to my daughter and we all love nothing better when the whole family come together. Her two big brothers have missed her, but they have been busy with Uni etc. family times have always been special but they are even more so now. Like I say Evie you will learn to adapt , because you have too, but no it is not easy or natural. 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evie Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 Thank you Tulip for your kind words, I had a lump in my throat when I read them. I'll look back on this time in years to come and I know it will all have been worth it, I hope!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Its her Life Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 Further to my previous post way back earlier on in this thread, I just wish to say how reassuring and comforting it is reading about everyone's individual experiences of homesickness and all the comments & advice given. It has helped enormously knowing that my daughter and I are not alone. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa O`Brien Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 Well I was looking [rather prematurely] to two years ahead, when my son will be 18, and we were discussing University. But I noticed whenever I brought up the subject he would go very quiet and not really say much. I was looking at his college website and I noticed he could continue on for another 2 years there doing the next level up of BTEC [The Higher National Diploma]. As soon as I mentioned this to him meaning, he could ,if he wanted to, postpone going to uni a further 2 years until he is 20, his whole demeanor changed and he suddenly looked a bit more enthusiastic. I know a huge part of his potentially not wanting to go away at 18 is because I run around after him like a headless chicken [i know I shouldn`t , but there`s only the two of us.!!]. He knows when he goes away he will have to fend for himself. I don`t think he`s ever even switched on the washing machine, let alone cooked himself any sort of a meal. I jokingly said to him."Trust me,Sean if you are still living at home with your silly old mother by the time you are twenty, you`ll be glad to go away somewhere for three years." He didn`t say anything, but sort of smiled as if to say, Too right there.!! 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
All4dancers Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 I had to smile to myself yesterday, as first I had a phone call from my 13 year old at vocational school who was feeling a little bit down, then 5 minutes later a phone call from my 20 year old at uni, who was also a little bit down. The reason it made me smile was that they were both upset about exactly the same thing. To me, it doesn't matter how old they are, they still need me when they're down. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lottie Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 Well I was looking [rather prematurely] to two years ahead, when my son will be 18, and we were discussing University. But I noticed whenever I brought up the subject he would go very quiet and not really say much. I was looking at his college website and I noticed he could continue on for another 2 years there doing the next level up of BTEC [The Higher National Diploma]. As soon as I mentioned this to him meaning, he could ,if he wanted to, postpone going to uni a further 2 years until he is 20, his whole demeanor changed and he suddenly looked a bit more enthusiastic. I know a huge part of his potentially not wanting to go away at 18 is because I run around after him like a headless chicken [i know I shouldn`t , but there`s only the two of us.!!]. He knows when he goes away he will have to fend for himself. I don`t think he`s ever even switched on the washing machine, let alone cooked himself any sort of a meal. I jokingly said to him."Trust me,Sean if you are still living at home with your silly old mother by the time you are twenty, you`ll be glad to go away somewhere for three years." He didn`t say anything, but sort of smiled as if to say, Too right there.!! You could suggest that you'd move with him to wherever he goes to Uni and see the reaction to his face then! 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa O`Brien Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 You could suggest that you'd move with him to wherever he goes to Uni and see the reaction to his face then! Oh he`d love that,i`m sure.! He won`t even go to the shopping centre with me any more,or to the cinema in case,horror of horrors , he sees anyone he knows and they see him with his mother.! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa O`Brien Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 Oh he`d love that,i`m sure.! He won`t even go to the shopping centre with me any more,or to the cinema in case,horror of horrors , he sees anyone he knows and they see him with his mother.! But funny I should just say that. When the new XBOX game,Grand Theft Auto 5 came out a few weeks ago, he was more than happy to be in town with me as I bought it for him. It`s an 18 cert.game you see, and although he`s tall, no way does he look 18. Quite happy to be seen with me then.!!!!! 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lottie Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 But funny I should just say that. When the new XBOX game,Grand Theft Auto 5 came out a few weeks ago, he was more than happy to be in town with me as I bought it for him. It`s an 18 cert.game you see, and although he`s tall, no way does he look 18. Quite happy to be seen with me then.!!!!! Oh yes! Same here...if you're paying then they are quite happy to be seen with you. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billyelliott Posted October 1, 2013 Author Share Posted October 1, 2013 So far so good- I've had a phone call because the texts were not working and tonight 2 texts in lieu of the phone call that was meant to be tonight because I got a call yesterday !! I'm feeling calmer and looking forward to half term and all organised to attend the lower school open day , when we get to watch a class and see teachers about progress etc.before we bring him home for a week and a half ???? 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LinMM Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 And that's not too far away now anyway!! It's October already! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anna C Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Soon be Christmas. ;-) *runs away* 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taxi4ballet Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 (edited) Soon be Christmas. ;-) *runs away* I bought some Christmas cards yesterday... Edited October 2, 2013 by taxi4ballet 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LinMM Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Tut tut! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moomin Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 I'm glad you are both feeling a bit happier now. Our job as parents is to support our children to follow their dreams. I would never choose to send my children to boarding school but if they were passionate about dance & were offered a place & I could afford it, I don't think I could say no. What an amazing opportunity for your son, I'm sure everything will seem worthwhile when you see the progress he's made. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moomin Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 (edited) I bought some Christmas cards yesterday... I've got half the pressies sorted! Can't deal with Christmas shopping crowds and 'must have' toys being sold out! Edited October 2, 2013 by Moomin 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LinMM Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Christmas should be easier now Ive retired but I have been known to be rushing around as late as Christmas Eve which in reality is probably worse than getting organised in October!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa O`Brien Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 Soon be Christmas. ;-) *runs away* Oh God, don`t mention the "C" word. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2dancersmum Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 No, not the 'C' word just yet - I still have 6 close family birthdays this month to sort out first!! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LinMM Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 Not as many as 6 but October and November and even December before C are pretty busy birthday wise for me too!! Just counted its five for me!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taxi4ballet Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 We've got Halloween and bonfire night to get through as well...! (And Thanksgiving) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fiz Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 I have lots of November, December and January birthdays in my family. Oh, and the tv license is due in January as well. :-( 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa O`Brien Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 I`m always forgetting to pay the TV licence. They sent me out a reminder just the other day that I hadn`t paid the last instalment. So I now owe them £13.30 for the month of September. It`s hardly as if i`ve never paid the thing or as if I owe them hundreds of pounds or something. Geez. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billyelliott Posted October 4, 2013 Author Share Posted October 4, 2013 Oh dear what an expensive time of the year! it won't be long before the next terms fees are due! At least we will be to busy to feel the reverse home sickness ! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jess Posted October 8, 2013 Share Posted October 8, 2013 Heartfelt thoughts to everyone on this thread who has shared their experiences of their children going through homesickness. I felt we had been lucky so far, but the last couple of weeks have been awful, with my dc sounding "lost" when we have spoken, made worse by the fact that they haven't been well. My dc is also trying to deal with the fact that a child (at same school) from their old dance school is making life hard by continuing the name-calling of "gay" that he endured for years and thought he had escaped from. I'm at a loss to know what to do and I have spent the last two nights crying, feeling so bad that he is so far away from home. It's times like this I really question whether we are doing the right thing. Counting down the days to half-term now and just feeling really sad and low. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billyelliott Posted October 8, 2013 Author Share Posted October 8, 2013 Oh Jess- I feel for you and DS - we've had the same problem, our DS commented by text last week that he though he had left all the name calling behind when he left his "normal school" but was sad to find it happening again now ......, I've also been feeling down about it and wondering how he will cope ,but have had a phone call tonight and he says the teasing has stopped for the moment , so now I feel a it better! I agree - Half term seems just that bit too far away .........though at least I get 2 weeks off form that horrible journey ! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hfbrew Posted October 8, 2013 Share Posted October 8, 2013 Please Billyelliott and Jess inform the house parents immediately as bullying is unacceptable whatever and wherever it takes place. I am sure you can do this discreetly and tactfully. Also encourage your dcs to find an adult or older student to talk to that they can trust. We all know that having to deal with teasing is part of life but there is a difference between general banter and words/actions designed to upset- and bullying texts are nasty. Its really upsetting as a mum isnt it, I was devastated by nasty facebook activities that targetted my ds and thats with him an adult! But with your dcs so young its important its dealt with quickly. Remember you are not fussy mums but loving ones. 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charlie4dancin Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 How awful Jess and billy... Yes I would try and deal with it quickly it shouldn't be happening but sadly it does we too dealt with this first hand and it's pretty hard to cope with when your so far away!! I agree you expect it to stop as you have let normal school and certainly not with people your ds has danced with for years billyelliot!!! Sending hugs to you both I hope your dc Cx 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 I have a friend who's child has recently been the victim of an awful cyber bullying campaign. The school were great and had clearly dealt with similar before- I would really recommend you involve school sooner rather than later. Hope you get it sorted and have a lovely half term xx 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anon2 Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 Jess you need to nip this in the bud. Read the school's bullying policy. Keep a record of all the incidents your dc tells you about and ask them to do the same. As hfbrew says try to encourage them to talk to someone they trust at school. Contact the houseparents about what has been happening by email but copy it to principal, head of pastoral care and form tutor. Do not let it drop until you are sure the situation is being dealt with. Keep in touch with houseparents and do not let them try to fob you off with any excuses of other child has 'problems' or 'normal behaviour' - quote the bullying policy at them. Let them know that how ever far away you are you will not let this drop until it stops. All the best for a quick resolution. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billyelliott Posted October 9, 2013 Author Share Posted October 9, 2013 Yes I would definitely be sending off an email to the house parents if DS had not managed to deal with it himself , but as in our case it pas partly due to his expressing the desire to go en pointe with the girls , I have pointed out that he should more careful about who he shares his innermost thoughts with ....though I suspect he can't be the only boy in the school that has ever had that wish ! However I am going to day something if it goes on as I'm aware of other situations . 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now