jess

Thanks to everyone, I honestly am very appreciative of all the replies and that you've taken the trouble to offer advice/support. I have lurked here for a long time (even before the new forum) and have always been impressed how supportive everyone is to each other and learned a lot from the advice that has always been offered here - this ballet journey can be a difficult one (and a wonderful one) at times let's face it. I was feeling so bad the other night that I just felt I really had to post and listen to people who may have been through this with their own dc. Evie, I know you weren't being unsympathetic at all, thank you for what you have said, I was just comparing it in my head to how years ago people who were disabled, black etc would have been called certain names as a way to belittle, abuse etc and that just because we all know it happens with our dancing sons (the gay taunt) doesn't mean it's ok, or that they feel equipped to always deal with it depending on the circumstances in which it is happening. Thanks again everybody, I am going to sit down with my husband tonight and we'll put an email together and deal with it, I can see that I need to. I am really grateful to everyone for listening.

well that may be true, and is something we have laughed about and talked about at home as a way of dealing with it. To be honest it's not about the wording (he knows that it's a label that male dancers get and he accepts that) - my post was really about coping with the fact that I have a young boy away from home who is receiving deliberate long-standing bullying from an older child as a way of making him feel bad (which she did over and over again in their old dance school). Just because as adults we know that it is something he needs to try to learn to deal with himself (and trust me he has), doesn't mean we don't worry about them or try to work out ways of helping them cope. That's all I was trying to say, that my son was feeling lonely, sad, unwell and far away from home.

I just want to say thank you so much to everyone for their responses to me, I am genuinely touched that so many of you have tried to help, and I take on board the message loud and clear about contacting the house parents. I suppose I have been frightened of rocking the boat as the girl's mum is a bit of a big mouth too!! It's not so much that I'm bothered about him being called gay (he may or may not be, I don't think he is but it certainly wouldn't upset me if he was), it's the fact that, as has been astutely pointed out, it is being used as a way to ridicule and belittle him by a child who is older than him in front of all her friends...continuously. Nobody should have to put up with that. When I posted last night I had had a really upsetting phone call from him, and I am very grateful for every single reply, they are all really thoughtful and contain good advice. I do see that I need to act, and I will, fortunately I have been logging incidents, as I keep a diary every night anyway. Billyelliott, my heart goes out to you too and I hope that your dc is ok (for what it's worth my son would love to have a go at pointe!) Thank you again everybody.

Heartfelt thoughts to everyone on this thread who has shared their experiences of their children going through homesickness. I felt we had been lucky so far, but the last couple of weeks have been awful, with my dc sounding "lost" when we have spoken, made worse by the fact that they haven't been well. My dc is also trying to deal with the fact that a child (at same school) from their old dance school is making life hard by continuing the name-calling of "gay" that he endured for years and thought he had escaped from. I'm at a loss to know what to do and I have spent the last two nights crying, feeling so bad that he is so far away from home. It's times like this I really question whether we are doing the right thing. Counting down the days to half-term now and just feeling really sad and low.

Last year my son had to take black tights too, and as far as I remember they were just for the performance in front of parents at the end of the week, but all of the boys did have them. I appreciate what you are saying though about extra cost.

Fantastic, thanks for sharing this! It does Elmhurst proud, shows how vibrant a place it is.

Gosh I hadn't realised how lucky we had been as our GP did the medical forms for free, and was lovely about it all too! I knew we had a fantastic GP but I am appreciating him even more now! I just presumed that not charging would be "typical" practice ....£150 is shocking!

Lots of luck to everyone. I remember how agonising the wait is, we're all right behind you!

Congratulations - you deserve every success. I know from experience that you offer a fantastic personalised service and are totally reliable and professional. Well done - hope you continue to go from strength to strength!

I couldn't agree more, it has been very moving to read everyone's thoughts and feelings, The thing that stands out the most is that there is no right or wrong - I can hear everybody speaking so passionately about what they feel or felt was the best for their own child and that is what matters at the end of the day. Reading this thread has made me reflect on how lucky all of your children are - they have a parent who cares so much about their needs.

I understand exactly where you are coming from with this. I had very similar worries about my child, anxious that at such a young age they were having to make a huge life decision. I am in my 40s and I still feel like I wish I had taken different decisions at school! So I relate to what you have said. The way I cope with it is to absolutely value the experience for what it is, without focusing on the future and what may be or not be in terms of a career in dance. I now can relax more about it than I used to and feel that my child is really lucky to be receiving such a great education, one that is priceless really, and the discipline involved and the hard work they put in are characteristics that will only hold them in good stead regardless of what they choose to do in the future. Thank you for the welcome "the quays"

I hope you don't mind me jumping right in to this, I'm new here but have read many of the threads here. The wisdom, support and great practical advice found here is what made me take the leap to join! I echo so many of the others above who have said that it is a sacrifice for US as parents, but not for the child who passionately loves to dance. It can be so hard to fit in dance with the demands (social and academic) of ordinary school, particularly at secondary school. My child chose to make a lot of sacrifices to get to dance classes instead of parties, after school clubs etc etc and it used to kill me watching from the sidelines worrying that eventually these invitations from friends would stop coming! For us as a family, vocational school means that our child can absolutely pursue their passion without having to feel guilty about all the other things they could be doing if they weren't always dancing. The sacrifice is ours, emotionally, and it is hard. Although there is such a lot to be said knowing that your child is among like-minded people who "get" them. There is also the bonus of small classes for academics, and the sheer privilege of being part of a community that nurtures our children's need to dance.