Mae989 Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 I am a little worried my DD has large thighs and possibly put weight on since starting vocational. It's really hard to know what is acceptable and not? She always used to have slim legs (not skinny) but this past year they've got bigger along with her bottom! Her waistline is also bigger I'm sure. I'm not saying she has started to look anywhere near overweight (she's still slim) but I worry because I am not keeping an eye on what foods she eats, she's started making more unhealthy choices. She hasn't grown in height for almost a year now though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat09 Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 Hi Mae - not sure what age your daughter is but could it be that she is just heading towards puberty and starting to fill out a little? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahw Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 I think they often fill out before a growth spurt.... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Picturesinthefirelight Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 (edited) My dd was just the same except she was never what you'd call slim but she's also never been overweight either. She always filled out a little sideways before a growth spurt. (Which then sent her balance haywire) her thighs were a bit large but some of that can be put down to the dsnce training. She also began to develop earlier than many of her classmates & at the end of Year 7/throughout year 8 she felt quite self conscious. Her waist was small but she developed hips & a definate bust. She's now in year 9 & I watched her & her classmates yesterdsy & itvwas reassuring to see that most of the girls had caught up & were beginning to look more 'developed' whilst still retaining a nice body shape. however....... I do have to keep an eye on dd. She has a very sweet tooth & can have a tendency to put on a bit too much excess weight when she eats too many sweets. In my Dds case she was being sneaked sweets by her grandparents & she developed a sweet granola/croissants for breakfast & a costa coffee cake habit. I had to start restricting her pocket money & insisting she had a better breakfast. - beans on toast or porridge that is sustaining with bananas for energy & not too much dried fruit. I've tried to educate her that she needs to eat foot that will sustain her & not make her want to snack - lean protein, complex carbs, lots of veg etc but you can't control everything. It was quite a shock going from a primary school where children were not allowed to take in snacks etc to suddenly having access to numerous cereal bars even c at tuck shop & I think there is a tendency to spend far too much money on 'tuck' during Saturday shopping trips. Waffles for breakfast doesn't seem overly a good choice to me either. And don't get me started on all the numerous cake sales! So don't be too concerned & it's important your dd doesn't get too body conscious but keep at it with the message of eating well to dance. Edited October 4, 2015 by Picturesinthefirelight 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anondancer_15 Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 depending on how old your DD is this could be nothing to worry about as it's perfectly normal to fill out a bit as a teenager, especially as you say she's not overweight. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alison Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 There's what I think may be a related discussion here: http://www.balletcoforum.com/index.php?/topic/9255-weight-gain-when-starting-vocational-school/?hl=weight 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
youngatheart Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 I was a bit shocked to read this thread TBH because one needs to be very very careful when dealing with weight/body image issues in teenage girls. If the girl herself has not made any comments about it & does not seem worried about it, IMO you should not make any attempt to raise the subject or make her aware that you are thinking about her body in this way. Too many young dancers go on to develop eating disorders after hearing comments like this. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anna C Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 I was a bit shocked to read this thread TBH because one needs to be very very careful when dealing with weight/body image issues in teenage girls. If the girl herself has not made any comments about it & does not seem worried about it, IMO you should not make any attempt to raise the subject or make her aware that you are thinking about her body in this way. Too many young dancers go on to develop eating disorders after hearing comments like this. By "the girl", do you mean Mae989's daughter, youngatheart? I agree that it is a very delicate and difficult subject but I think Mae is merely wanting reassurance from fellow dance parents. She hasn't said that she is going to speak to her dd about it. Mae, is there a tutor, teacher or dietician that you could speak to at your dd's Vocational school? It may be an idea to raise your concern quietly without mentioning it to your dd. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahw Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Quote: "I was a bit shocked to read this thread TBH because one needs to be very very careful when dealing with weight/body image issues in teenage girls. If the girl herself has not made any comments about it & does not seem worried about it, IMO you should not make any attempt to raise the subject or make her aware that you are thinking about her body in this way. Too many young dancers go on to develop eating disorders after hearing comments like this." I agree with this comment but also (this does not refer to Mae's daughter) I've noticed in my NHS job that sometimes it seems taboo almost to mention children's weight even when clearly overweight and this is not in the child's hest interests. With so many adults being overweight many do not recognise what a normal weight should be for kids. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anna C Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Sarahw, your quote had gone a bit awry so I have just edited your post to make it clear you were quoting - hope that's ok. :-) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Picturesinthefirelight Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 From reading Mae's post I thought what mostly came across was her concern at the unhealthy choices she was making which was also a concern of mine (nothing to do with weight but everything to do with general health/energy needed to sustain a young dancer.) So for example choosing a croissant & jam for breakfast prior to a 3 hour Saturday morning dance session is not the best choice as it contains little nutrition, lots of sugar & saturated fat & will lead to hunger pangs mid morning & the tendency to snack on junk. I've also seen the vast quantities of sweets & chocolate that some children seem to buy so you do have to keep SN eye. Easier for me as dd is a day girl but she eats lunch & evening meals at school. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2dancersmum Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 I agree that it can be a worry when they are away from home and you do not always know what they are eating and if they are making sensible choices and when you do not see them every day you will notice the changes more than if you see them daily. But the op describes her DD as having 'large thighs, bottom getting bigger and waistline too' . I am sure most girls who wear leotards each day are well aware of their bodies (and friends and teachers too) and I agree with youngatheart about the damage such comments can cause. - especially when those are all signs of a girl growing into her adult body. I agree with the comments to tread carefully 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
youngatheart Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Exactly what I meant 2dancersmum. I'm sure the OP is concerned for all the right reasons, but I just got the wrong vibes from some of the comments made on the thread. Do we really want any young dancers reading this board to get the impression that their mums are constantly comparing notes and making judgements on their bodies when they turn up to shows or watching week, instead of being impressed by their dancing? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haggis Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 I agree with everything said above...if only schools and directors were as sensitive. At one well known upper school the director pulled 6 students out of class and berated them publically...in the corridor for all to hear...that they were too fat and had to lose weight or no company director would look at them!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pas de Quatre Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 That is an awful thing to do in public. However I would like to hear people's opinions on how such matters should be handled. If what the director said is true, there is no point in letting students ignore reality. Likewise at a younger age - if there is a student in their teens hoping for Associate classes or Vocational school, with good technique and bone structure, but a few kilos overweight and so is unlikely to succeed at auditions, what to do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taxi4ballet Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 Likewise at a younger age - if there is a student in their teens hoping for Associate classes or Vocational school, with good technique and bone structure, but a few kilos overweight and so is unlikely to succeed at auditions, what to do? Do you know what? I don't think it actually matters to the panel, as they know that many youngsters at the auditions aren't in full-time training, and when the students start dancing all day every day their strength and fitness will change their proportions anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pas de Quatre Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 If only that were so, taxi4ballet, but I don't think it is. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahw Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 I think this is the real danger area - talented dancers who are thin by normal standards but not 'ballet thin'. Others who don't have a 'suitable' physique such as legs not long enough can't change that but the getting thinner must be tempting to try and control....... It is all very concerning...... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haggis Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 It is indeed! One of the students weighed less than 7 stone and was a UK size 4 at the time if that gives some context. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Picturesinthefirelight Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 That is appalling haggis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haggis Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 (edited) I know! Edited October 10, 2015 by haggis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
double trouble Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 My DD has only just gone back to ballet after not dancing for over a year ! She was constantly told she was too fat !! She was doing full time training and since giving up has told me she hardly ate !! Only nutritional advice she got was don't eat apples ! And have a shot of soup if hungry !! I'm happy she didn't continue although at time it was upsetting . Jan nx yr she is starting RAD teaching course she is now dancing with a lovely teacher who will be her mentor and she is happy . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
double trouble Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 Other DD is now at Millennium doing dance course and has loads of advice about nutrition and how you need food to dance . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SBallerina Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 Double Troubld: May I ask where your daughter will do the RAD teacher course? At the HQ ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahw Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 It is indeed! One of the students weighed less than 7 stone and was a UK size 4 at the time if that gives some context. OMG. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahw Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 Hope your dd enjoys the teaching double trouble. Off topic is your other dd liking Millennium after trauma at beginning of term? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 Such a sensitive topic. Only a handful of very (naturally) skinny girls in my year at vocational school didn't get 'hit by the puberty stick'. As 2dancersmum said, girls who are staring at themselves in a leotard and tights every single day are more than aware of body shape...thin by 'normal' standards, but not ballet ones. I thought that in this day and age with the amount of information available regarding dancer nutrition and health (and cross training for fitness) that Ad's would know better than to humiliate students in the way that haggis described. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swanprincess Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 Others who don't have a 'suitable' physique such as legs not long enough can't change that but the getting thinner must be tempting to try and control....... It is all very concerning...... Exactly. And the results of that desire for control can rapidly become devastating. In my opinion, no young dancer should ever, ever be told she is fat- even underweight young girls are, given the perfectionistic nature of ballet, likely to be wary of their size, so to highlight the "need" for thinness would be incredibly irresponsible of any director or teacher, as it then puts the students at risk of body confidence issues and eating disorders. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mae989 Posted October 10, 2015 Author Share Posted October 10, 2015 I was a bit shocked to read this thread TBH because one needs to be very very careful when dealing with weight/body image issues in teenage girls. If the girl herself has not made any comments about it & does not seem worried about it, IMO you should not make any attempt to raise the subject or make her aware that you are thinking about her body in this way. Too many young dancers go on to develop eating disorders after hearing comments like this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tulip Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 Central are brilliant and very sensitive in this area. Students will be told to put on weight and they are also told privately if they need to lose some weight. Everything is done under the guidance of their nutritionalist. Dancers by the way are healthy and look healthy at Central. If dancers want to audition for ballet companies they really do need to be at their best not too thin, but toned and with long muscles. I am talking about 17 year olds and above. Girls do fill out when they go through puberty, this is a natural process and their bodies will soon settle down. Healthy eating with a few treats is fine. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mae989 Posted October 10, 2015 Author Share Posted October 10, 2015 I was a bit shocked to read this thread TBH because one needs to be very very careful when dealing with weight/body image issues in teenage girls. If the girl herself has not made any comments about it & does not seem worried about it, IMO you should not make any attempt to raise the subject or make her aware that you are thinking about her body in this way. Too many young dancers go on to develop eating disorders after hearing comments like this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mae989 Posted October 10, 2015 Author Share Posted October 10, 2015 I was a bit shocked to read this thread TBH because one needs to be very very careful when dealing with weight/body image issues in teenage girls. If the girl herself has not made any comments about it & does not seem worried about it, IMO you should not make any attempt to raise the subject or make her aware that you are thinking about her body in this way. Too many young dancers go on to develop eating disorders after hearing comments like this. I think you have totally mis-read my post. What I actually said was that my DD is slim. What I asked was is filling out normal or is it due to poor food choices? Not once did I say she was overweight so read it back before you mis-quote. I think there are far too many people out there who can't speak to their children about food, what constitutes a healthy diet, what constitutes a healthy body. I know so many parents who don't encourage a healthy diet and body and they run the risk of their children becoming overweight and the struggle of losing weight when they are older can be just as traumatic as an eating disorder. I am able to talk to my DD and encourage and open dialogue. I am honest with her as she is with me. I clearly don't say to her your bum looks bigger but I do encourage her to make the right choices. ALL sportsmen and women have to ensure they make the right choices in order to develop their bodies in the right way. I have not been in the dance world before and have not got an older daughter so simply do not know if this is normal or not 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mae989 Posted October 10, 2015 Author Share Posted October 10, 2015 By "the girl", do you mean Mae989's daughter, youngatheart? I agree that it is a very delicate and difficult subject but I think Mae is merely wanting reassurance from fellow dance parents. She hasn't said that she is going to speak to her dd about it. Mae, is there a tutor, teacher or dietician that you could speak to at your dd's Vocational school? It may be an idea to raise your concern quietly without mentioning it to your dd. You are absolutely right, I won't be speaking to my DD directly but I will ask her about healthy choices 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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