JulieW Posted July 4, 2015 Author Share Posted July 4, 2015 Oh yes, Fiz, I forgot the rugby! And next year she's on the social committee too (I think she fancied getting into things for free in return for "working" for a while). Sarahw - it's pretty easy now they look after themselves - bit still costing us quite a bit! They just come home occasionally with all their stuff and make the house untidy ;-) 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invisiblecircus Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 Vet student daughter passed all her practicals this year (and the re-sits from last!) which is great (they don't have to pass them all in one go but it's great to get them out of the way). She's getting borderline "first" marks so when she goes back she's going to talk to her tutor about whether she can actually get a first with what she's got already. Her BSc will be finished next year as she has a research project and a dissertation to do. Then after that it's 2 more years to hopefully pass the rest of the the vet course (that bit's pass or fail I believe). She's just come back from 2 weeks on a pig farm, we're camping for 2 weeks, then she's got 2 weeks-ish at an equestrian centre near Abergavenny (staying in our trailer tent lol), then 2 weeks doing her first clinical placement at a vets in Devon. I don't know how she keeps it up! Congratulations to your daughter on her great results! My cousin is also studying vet medicine at Nottingham. He has just finished the third year! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JulieW Posted July 5, 2015 Author Share Posted July 5, 2015 I would ask if she knows him, but she only knows a small proportion of her own year, let alone the one above! Mind you, there are fewer boys so that might help (and if he plays rugby she'd definitely know him lol) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pups_mum Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 I'm feeling proud of both my sons this week. The elder one is just finishing year 7 and he had a very rocky start to the year. He is extremely shy and found moving up from our little village school with less than 50 pupils, to a fairly big secondary school a huge challenge. Then, not altogether surprisingly, he became the victim of bullying which did take some time to resolve. But his end of year report is fab - great marks in all subjects but more importantly lots of postive comments about his attitude and improved self confidence. He is on the gifted and talented list fir music but has also got involved in a selection of other activities that are definitely outside his comfort zone. I picked him up from after school sailing club tonight and was thrilled to see that not only was he enjoying the activity, but was laughing and messing around with the other kids with no signs of his usual anxieties. Littlest child is not to be outdone though. He also had an excellent report and yesterday the headmaster asked us to go in to discuss teaching him with the year above next year as he feels he isn't being sufficiently stretched within his own year group and would benefit from having his learning accelerated. Which is all good, but the best bit was the comment about how he is mature beyond his years and always the first to go to the aid of any other pupil who is upset or worried about something. I sometimes worry that I don't put enough time and energy into the boys as a result of all the support given to DD, but they seem to be thriving nevertheless and I'm very proud of them. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harwel Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 That's lovely pups_mum. Very proud mummy moment! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa O`Brien Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 That`s fantastic ,Pups_mum. As Harwel said,you have every right to be proud ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahw Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Wow, Pupsmum, you must be bursting! ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JulieW Posted July 15, 2015 Author Share Posted July 15, 2015 What lovely boys :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa O`Brien Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 Got myself into a bit of a panic this morning. Sean`s certificate arrived in the post,and of the 19 Units which make up his BTEC, he has been awarded 4 Passes, 7 Merits and 8 Distinctions. Fab! So,even though I know he doesn`t want to go to Uni and will be staying at the local college ,I decided to ,just out of curiosity,look at various university degrees you can do with this course. The main ones are Social Work,Nursing,Occupational Health, and Youth Work. From the unis I looked at,they all said that ,certainly for Social Work, Distinction Distinction Merit,which Sean was awarded,is acceptable as an entry requirement. But in brackets after it a lot of the unis all said,providing there are a minimum of 9 Distinctions. Sean got 8. Nooo!!! I was thinking,don`t tell me,he has done all that work for the last two years,and if he wanted to go to uni at some point he would not get in because he had ONE Distinction less than the minimum requirement? I phoned up Ulster University`s Social Work department. She said even though the website states that you should have at least 9 Distinctions in the BTEC Level 3 Extended Diploma, they look at the DDM grade not the actual number of Distinctions,and therefore his grades would be good enough. Not that he has any intention of using his qualifications. He is doing the HND in Health and Social Care from September. Then he wants to work at travelling the world playing music for a living. But "Just in case" and "for future reference",I can tell you it was a relief that his grades ARE good enough for various degrees from different universities. Phew. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa O`Brien Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 (edited) Well I had to have a long,serious talk with Sean. Although he is continuing at the local college doing the HND in Health and Social Care,which I am very pleaaed about,he was continuing with the idea he wanted to work at travelling the world making music. Either that or make a living off making and uploading his own music to You Tube [seriously????] He was still spouting the line,"You only get one life and you have to do what you want to do that is going to make you happy". I have told him again and again the vast majority of people out there are working,not in a dream job or career,but in a job that pays the bills. Not everyone can be a professional dancer or a racing car driver. I told him to get a pen and a piece of paper and to write out a list of everything he can think of that he will need to buy/pay for when he gets his own place on a weekly basis. I told him to factor in how much he will roughly spend each week on food,electricity,a car/petrol. Not to mention probably at least £100 a week for rent. I did my own list and it came to a very conservative estimate of between £250 -£300 a week,every week. Factoring in extra money needed for entertainment and going out. I told him if he is not in a job where he is earning at least £250 a week every single week,all year round then he is going to struggle just to live. Then I told him that isn`t even considering if one day he meets a girl and they have children. I told him to be realistic about how much money he will need to live on every week, week in week out .His argument has always been that he doesn`t care about money as long as he is happy. But I forced him to look realistically at things. Even though he is only 18 still,he can`t bury his head in the sand. He didn`t mention anything for a couple of weeks. He spent a lot of time at his mates house.I know for a fact they discuss things,and that he also discusses things with his friend`s parents too. Can`t be certain, but I would imagine they said something along the lines to Sean of "Your mother`s right". He has now decided he wants to eventually find work as a further education lecturer in a college somewhere teaching Health and Social Care. I wasn`t trying to dampen his dreams,but I had to make him see those dreams were completely unrealistic. Feeling relieved. Edited November 1, 2015 by Lisa O`Brien 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa O`Brien Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 (edited) BTW,the FE Lecturer is completely do-able. You need Grade C in GCSE English and Maths,which he has. You need a good Honours degree in the subject you want to teach,which will be H+SC. He has the equivalent of 3 A Levels in Health and Social Care and is now doing the HND in it. Unfortunately because of the modules,the HND is only equal to the first year of an Honours degree not the first 2 years. But there are colleges that offer the full degree not just universities. He knows he will need to work in that area for a few years,maybe with the elderly or with children to be considered. But our local college is always advertising for lecturers in different subjects. A starting salary of £22,609 as well. He wouldn`t get that uploading music to You Tube. Edited November 1, 2015 by Lisa O`Brien 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa O`Brien Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 Well done Sean. Good results for going into the HND. My two youngest have passed their 1st and 2nd years at uni. Son with very mixed results - some amazing and some just a pass - but his first year didn't count towards his degree. He wasn't surprised at the lower ones - they were modules he'd found particularly challenging. Vet student daughter passed all her practicals this year (and the re-sits from last!) which is great (they don't have to pass them all in one go but it's great to get them out of the way). She's getting borderline "first" marks so when she goes back she's going to talk to her tutor about whether she can actually get a first with what she's got already. Her BSc will be finished next year as she has a research project and a dissertation to do. Then after that it's 2 more years to hopefully pass the rest of the the vet course (that bit's pass or fail I believe). She's just come back from 2 weeks on a pig farm, we're camping for 2 weeks, then she's got 2 weeks-ish at an equestrian centre near Abergavenny (staying in our trailer tent lol), then 2 weeks doing her first clinical placement at a vets in Devon. I don't know how she keeps it up! I LOVE pigs. My favourite animals. I always say if I ever win the lottery I will buy myself a farm so I can have pet pigs. And maybe pet donkeys too.!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pups_mum Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 Non dancing news for my DD....she passed her driving theory test yesterday after a fair bit of angst over it, so I'm very pleased and relieved for her. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa O`Brien Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 Sean was off college last week as he had a nasty abscess. He came home from college today and said everyone told him the course co-ordinator had been in a foul mood.[Not with him!]. It`s a 2 year course,the HND. Half the class [or at least a large percentage of them] are leaving after this first year when they will have their HNC,and are going off to University instead. The course co-ordinator had assumed everyone was going to be staying for the full two year course.The course continuing next year is now in jeopardy,as there might not be enough people to do it. My first reaction was,well it serves the college right. That`s what they get when they increase the fees from £1,400 to £2,500 a year,just for two and a half days of study a week. I can well understand both students and their parents thinking they may as well be at uni getting a full degree,which here in Northern Ireland only costs £3,750 a year. But Sean has said that most of the people leaving are his friends and that if his friends are leaving college he doesn`t want to continue on the course either. Needless to say I told him that he has to do what is right for him ,not what his friends are doing. Sean has no intention ,at this stage,of going to uni. He will effectively be cutting off his nose to spite his face. What on earth is he going to do if he quits after the HNC? I told him to just continue this year until the end,and not to make any rash decisions. Why can he not see that he has to what is right for HIS future,just like his friends going off to uni,are doing? Why is he thinking of throwing it all away just because his friends are leaving when he clearly enjoys the course so much? I just don`t get it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aileen Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 It's immaturity, probably, plus it must feel very unsettling if a lot of your friends are planning to leave your course; teenagers can be very 'tribal'. In my experience (with a teenage son a year younger than Sean), 'lecturing' teenagers about the wrong choices which they are about to make and reminding them of your greater experience of life doesn't go down well as you just end up at loggerheads (I've done this so many times). You have to put your point across and then leave them to process the situation. Some teenagers are just very resistant to accepting advice from their parents. They hate to admit that their parents are right. They may well end up acting on their parents' advice but they will never acknowledge this. Unless Sean is about to drop out of the course before the end of the year I would bide your time, now that you have pointed out the inadvisability of him not completing the second year, and raise the subject with him again in a few weeks time when he appears to be in a receptive mood. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa O`Brien Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 You`re right,aileen. I usually find,what happens with him is I suggest something,which is completely dismissed out of hand by him. But often the same night or the very next day,he will often go to his friend`s house for a few hours. They are very close and have been since they were 11. He can talk to his friend`s mum and partner too,I think. Often I get the impression she /they will say almost exactly the same thing I have been saying. But because it`s his mate and his mate`s mum[who I gather is a lot "cooler" than me], then he listens to them. I`m going to say nothing to him for now. As long as he continues for the rest of this year until June or July when the year comes to an end. We`ll have to see what develops after then. But needless to say,after everything starting off so well, i`m now worried. It doesn`t get any easier,this parenting lark,does it??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aileen Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 I don't think that you ever stop worrying about your children however old they are. It can't be easy for you, Lisa, parenting on your own. And it's not just the young that need help when they are starting out in life. I know and know of several quite elderly parents having to provide huge amounts of support to their middle aged and almost middle aged children for all sorts of reasons (often family breakdown and mental illness) or caring for their grandchildren full time due to the inability or unwillingness of their children to look after their own children. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2dancersmum Posted November 10, 2015 Share Posted November 10, 2015 I think it was probably also a bit of a knee jerk reaction to news that probably shocked him too if he was thinking he was sorted for 2 years. And now not only might his course not continue but his friends are not going to be there either. It will take time for the news to sink in and him to think things through for himself. As you say, he needs to finish his year and review all his options. It is good that he has his friend and friend's Mum to talk things over with as well - I don't think it is because they are 'cooler' than you that he listens to them. I think that it is because they are not personally invested and so more neutral and he perhaps needs to hear more than one point of view. I know all of my children will discuss issues with both parents separately and with friends/teachers/relatives as none of them are the type to jump in feet first. They all like the time to think things over. It won't stop you worrying - but you have to give him a bit of time. Being a parent is certainly not easy 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
porthesia Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 Some of you may remember non-dd needed surgery to have her gallbladder removed - well it's finally gone - a week ago yesterday. I can't work out how long it's taken, must be getting on for 18 months!! Still keeping fingers crossed but hopefully avoided pancreatitus. Phew 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fiz Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 I hope she makes a rapid recovery. I do remember and I cannot believe that she has been waiting all this time for her operation! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahw Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 Hope she has a speedyrecovery. That has been goingon for ages Porthesia - even for the NHS!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vonrothbart Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 When you apply for a new job, the stress involved is usually thinking about not being successful. In my eldest grandaughters situation it was a little different. She applied for three different positions, and was offered all three, then it's decisions decisions decisions. She ended up taking one with a little less pay now, but more chances of going further up the ladder in management later, and only time will tell whether she made the right choice. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2dancersmum Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 Porthesia - wishing your DD a speedy recovery after such a long wait for her op - it must surely be about 2 years since she got ill. I remember you telling us about her Christmas job and how ill she had been. Its disgraceful she had to wait so long to get back on the path to full health 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
porthesia Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 Tamsyn thanks you all for your kind wishes She's back to work tomorrow, but not allowed to lift. Not all of the delay was due to the NHS, but most of it was!! Still it's done now and she's on the mend. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pups_mum Posted December 30, 2015 Share Posted December 30, 2015 Well I'm now the mother of a driver - DD passed her test yesterday. I'm very pleased for her, though my excitement was somewhat tempered by the hit my bank account took when I phoned the insurance company to convert her policy from "learner" to "passed 10 minutes ago" status! Still, my evenings will be less disrupted now that I don't have to drive her to dancing, and fortuitously I've just heard that my boys' scout group has changed nights to a Weds, when DD doesn't have a dance class. So she can do that drop off and pick up too I think - it's only fair! 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LinMM Posted December 30, 2015 Share Posted December 30, 2015 I bet she will love dropping you off and picking you up!! Will make her feel very grown up and useful I'm sure!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahw Posted December 30, 2015 Share Posted December 30, 2015 Well done to your driving dd. I guess the insurance costs make dancing costs look cheap! But your time is priceless - dread to think how many hours we all spend on dancing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa O`Brien Posted December 31, 2015 Share Posted December 31, 2015 Congratulations on your daughter passing her driving test ,Pups_mum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa O`Brien Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 (edited) Sean has been missing lots of college. And I mean LOTS. He hasn`t been in one day for the last two weeks,and in fact has hardly been in for a full week since he started in September. The reason? His front tooth,on the top row came out when he bit into an apple months ago. He is extremely self conscious about it and has been trying to conceal the fact he has a missing front tooth from everyone at college. He has been back and forwards to the dentist for the past four months,but every time he went the dentist told him the gum hadn`t healed sufficiently to have a bridge fitted.Sean came home from college around November one day and he was depressed.He said he was not enjoying the course at the moment,and felt he was unable to interact during the lessons and smile and be himself,as all he could think about was trying to hide the fact he had a missing tooth from everyone. I told him he is being silly and that his friends wouldn`t care if he had a missing tooth or not,but it hasn`t helped. He has even stopped phoning in college in the morning to say he won`t be in,which you are supposed to do.He just hasn`t gone in for the last 2 weeks,but has said nothing to them. Now what Sean doesn`t know is that back in December I actually wrote to the course co-ordinator,who I know,explaining the situation with Sean`s missing tooth and how it is affecting him. I said I hoped she didn`t mind my writing to her,and that although Sean was not a child anymore I felt I ought to explain what was currently going on with him,regarding his self esteem and confidence,because of his missing tooth. I told her,that despite this temporary setback he actually really enjoys the course very much. I asked her not to tell Sean that I had written to her,or else he would be horrified. [it`s a good job he doesn`t read this Forum!]. I have told him again and again if he doesn`t want to continue with the course he has to tell them formally. Then he can sign on and look for a job. But he just says he DOES want to continue with the course. He is constantly working on his Assignments at home. A huge part of the course is your work placement. He chose himself to do a placement at an old people`s home. He hated it and never went back after the first two weeks,and never bothered to inform the manager he would no longer be attending two days a week,which I said was incredibly unprofessional of him.The course co-ordinator thought he was still doing his placement.She phoned the old people`s home to see how he was getting on,only to find out he hadn`t been attending. The co-ordinator then telephoned Sean to have a meeting with him,not just about his placement but a general review of how things were going. He telephoned to cancel the meeting and hasn`t been in college since.Every day he`s been saying he will definately go in tomorrow. Then the next day comes along and he doesn`t go in. I told him they will get sick of him and kick him off the course,as their patience will run out for him.If it hasn`t already.He was definately going to go in today. Yet again,he came downstairs and said he will go in later,and went back to bed. I almost know for a fact he will not go in. He needs to quit and look for a job and repay all the money back [the course fees] that he inevitably now owes them. Today is his 19th birthday. He`s throwing his future away. Edited February 2, 2016 by Lisa O`Brien Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fiz Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 Oh Lisa! My heart goes out to you. There's a very old and sad saying "You can't put an old head on young shoulders" and it sadly seems to be true. I wish I could think of something to help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa O`Brien Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 Oh Lisa! My heart goes out to you. There's a very old and sad saying "You can't put an old head on young shoulders" and it sadly seems to be true. I wish I could think of something to help. Thanks Fiz. I`ve tried the softly softly approach and the angry approach. Nothing seems to be getting through to him. I said to him before he started in September to make absolutely sure that it was what he wanted to do,because if he leaves the course early he will have to pay back,not only the £2,500 fees but the £2,800 maintenance grant. Oh he`s quite happy going into town buying himself new clothes and the like with his grant though. I`ve told him if he does leave and he has to pay it all back then it will be HIM paying it back. I`m not going to pay a penny of it for him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orchidblue Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 Lisa, I would also be telling him that either he attends college or he has to start paying his way as you are not going to support him financially whilst he's not doing anything to secure a decent future. They can't just be words though. If he still refuses to go into college you need to stop providing for him. See if that will shock him into action. Be strong! Good luck. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aileen Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 Well, if the equivalent of the Northern Ireland DWP is the same as the DWP in England Sean is in for a terrible shock. Claimants in England are harried and bullied and benefits are suspended, sometimes for weeks, for minor mistakes and 'failures'. I agree with orchidblue that you must insist that he look for work and sign on in the meantime otherwise he will just laze about and live off you. He's an adult and old enough to learn that there are consequences to his actions. Be strong. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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