News of non-dancing children.....

[Lisa O`Brien]

Yes you`re both right. Especially seeing as my child benefit and child tax credits have stopped.Financially i`m feeling the pinch as it is. I`m thoroughly fed up with him at the moment.He`s only interested in that wretched X Box.

[orchidblue]

Tell him if he insists on acting like a petulant child instead of an adult, you will treat him as such and confiscate the xbox, or at least the hand controls. Always worked a treat when my son was younger and being moody. A week without his playstation always brought back my

lovely natured boy.

 

Edited for spelling.

Edited February 2, 2016 by orchidblue

[Lisa O`Brien]

Can I have a bit more advice off you all? I`ve just been talking to him again.Stressing how he needed to act and quickly,one way or another. I said if he wanted to leave his course then best to do it now and not put it off any longer .He was saying again about wanting to stay in college. He was very close to tears. I`ve not seen him that upset since he was little. He never cries or shows much emotion. He doesn`t know that I wrote to his main lecturer in December explaining to her about his missing tooth and how it was making him feel. I told myself that I would never ever tell him. But i`m wondering now if maybe I ought to tell him that she knows all about what`s been going on and how it`s been making him feel because I told her? Maybe it would set his mind at rest that she already knows the situation so he wouldn`t have to go through it all with her explaining it. Or maybe it would make matters a whole lot worse ? Obviously,you don`t know my son,but what would people on here do ? I`m really worried about him,and how upset he was.Thanks.

[orchidblue]

As you say, we don't know your son, but if it were my son, I'd be open with him & hoped he saw that you did it with his best interests in mind. Would he go & see a doctor? Just my opinion from what you've written but he sounds very down & could maybe do with a bit of help.

[Lisa O`Brien]

As you say, we don't know your son, but if it were my son, I'd be open with him & hoped he saw that you did it with his best interests in mind. Would he go & see a doctor? Just my opinion from what you've written but he sounds very down & could maybe do with a bit of help.

Yes,I`ve suggested he see our GPas he might be suffering from depression. But he assures me he isn`t. I do wonder though if he would KNOW if he was suffering with it or not. 

[Colman]

I'd insist he see the GP.

[orchidblue]

It certainly sounds as though he may be suffering from depression. I too would insist he see a Dr. xx

[Lisa O`Brien]

I do try and keep and eye on him generally for signs of depression.I am on anti depressants for the rest of my life.The only reason i`m NOT depressed is because I take a Fluoxetine [Prozac] each night. It keeps it at bay.As for his father his depression was off the scale. That coupled with his alcoholism was,I think,what made him take his own life 8 years ago.So definately,yes,it is something I am always keeping an eye on.

[Legseleven]

I would tell him that you have made an appointment for him with his GP and that you will be accompanying him so that you can explain to the GP how he 'presents' to you and how he has changed with the reaction to his missing tooth. He won't know if he is depressed but it sounds as though he may very well need medical assistance on that front, especially with such a strong family history on both sides. I would also tell him straight that given his father's suicide you are desperately worried about him and desperate to find a way to help him, as he clearly doesn't want to stop his college course even though his behaviour suggests otherwise. If you feel it appropriate perhaps you could tell him that you are contacting his tutor now to let the college know how he is and that you are seeking medical help for him - and if it seems necessary you could tell him then that you have already been in contact with them.

 

I am sending both of you virtual hugs and hope that Sean turns the corner xx 

[Lisa O`Brien]

Thank you so much,Legseleven.

[Jan McNulty]

I know a young lady who had a severe turn in her eye.  She had an operation when she was 7 but it did not really correct it.  Of course, we never noticed it and had never realised how badly it had affected her.  In the end she went to the doctor as a young adult and the doctor agreed that it was affecting her mental health and she was referred for treatment on the national health.

 

What followed is a long and boring story but eventually she had the operation and her outlook on life and confidence changed dramatically, virtually overnight.

 

I agree with everyone else that he may be suffering from depression, exacerbated by the tooth situation.

[Lisa O`Brien]

He WOULD understand himself well enough I think . All throughout the two year course is the module "Effective Communication in Health and Social Care". Some modules last a few months. This one ,as one of the most important,is continuous. I did a very similar course to him, and know for a fact they would have gone over all the barriers there can be to effectively communicate with someone. He contacted the tutor a while ago via text message and told her he was experiencing both physical and emotional problems at the moment. Little did he know of course that she knew exactly what was going on as I had already written to her. I`m going to make an appointment for him to see our GP and force him to go. I was looking on the internet a few hours ago looking at anti depressants. Sean cannot swallow tablets. He gags and brings them back up again. I was relieved to see they can now prescribe most types of anti depressants in liquid form if need be. But ... I do think it is all down to this wretched missing tooth.He was absolutely fine before this happened. I suppose we`ll know for sure when he gets his new one fitted,if his mood picks up. Thank you everyone.xx

[Lisa O`Brien]

I`ve some GREAT news. Sean went into college today to speak to the main Lecturer. He said she was really nice with him.This is the same one I wrote to .He told her he is getting a bridge fitted in a fortnight and that he is going to contact a local primary school to enquire about doing a placement there. He said she seemed genuinely pleased to see him. Could only stop and have a chat with her for five minutes as she was about to go in and teach a class. She said she will see him on Monday and he said yes,then came home. I could see the look of relief on his face when he walked in. Oh and guess what? Yesterday I suggested to Sean that he write to the Lecturer if he felt unable to express to her verbally what was going on with him. He told me he has already spoken to her and explained about the tooth missing and how it makes him feel. Apparently he has been in quite regular contact with her via text message. I was like,"Why didn`t you tell me she knew all about your tooth" ?  His answer? I never thought to tell you. Thank God,[and I HAVE been praying about it] that seems to be the ice broken in him taking that first step to getting back on track. There really should be no barrier or excuse on his part to him now going into college on Monday and continuing on as before,hopefully.Thanks for your support everyone, and sorry if i`ve hogged the thread somewhat.

[2dancersmum]

Thank goodness, Lisa.  I hope he is soon back on track.  When you feel self conscious like that it is a real dent to your confidence and it does affect all areas of your life.  Unfortunately when you then miss college, the longer it goes on the harder it is to take the steps back again.  It must have taken a great deal of courage for him to face up to it and go back into college today so well done Sean.  And I hope you are realising too that what you say to him is clearly not just going in one ear and out the other.  You clearly did get through to him.

[Lisa O`Brien]

Thank you 2dancers.Won`t be fully relieved until after Monday to be honest, just in case .

[orchidblue]

Sometimes it just takes a little time for what you're saying to sink in with teenagers. Boys, in particular, are not great at sharing how they feel, but at least he's opened up a bit to you & his teacher so hopefully he knows he has a support network. Good luck to him & you. Hopefully he'll be back on track soon. ☺

[Legseleven]

What brilliant news, Lisa!   You must be so relieved. I hope Sean feels much better having taken that huge step - he should be proud of himself. I am praying that he continues to feel up to going into college on Monday and to arranging the primary school placement; it seems that knowing that the bridge will be fitted soon has had a wonderful effect (unsurprisingly, given how much it must have affected how he felt about himself). Well done to him for turning that corner!

[Lisa O`Brien]

Thanks Legseleven. I went into his bedroom later on and told him just how pleased I was with him and proud of him for going in. He just gave me one of his looks as if to say,"That`s so lame "!!!

[Legseleven]

 presumably you gave him a look back as if to say 'that's so teenaged!' 

[Lisa O`Brien]

Sean was in college all week. He is having his dental bridge fitted on Wednesday and he has phoned a local primary school and spoken with the headmaster,who seemed very nice. The headmaster said the school normally only takes students on actual childcare courses.I asked Sean if he told the headmaster that the previous course he did covered a whole module on childcare,as does the course he is doing now. He said he never thought to tell him this [?]. But the headmaster is going to ring the course co-ordinator and ask her for details of the Health and Social Care course and what it entails. Hopefully he will think it covers sufficient child care so he will be allowed to do a placement there. 

[Huddsballetmum]

So glad things are looking up for Sean.  It's tough these days for teenagers with the pressures they are under.  We never had the stress of social media and the pressure to keep up with the latest trends/designer clothing etc.  I'll keep my fingers crossed that he gets the placement he wants.  

[sarahw]

That sounds like progress - fingers crossed. What a relief for you.

[Lisa O`Brien]

The Headmaster spoke to the course co-ordinator at college. Sean received an email to say he can start at his placement working as a classroom assistant the week after the half term holiday,starting on the Thursday 25th February,9am to 3pm,every Thursday and Friday. [He`s in college on the Mon Tues and Weds each week]. I bought him two books on Amazon a while ago [always trying to think ahead!] about working as a Teaching Assistant and Classroom Assistant [i guess it`s the same thing]. So he can look over the books to get an idea of what will be expected of him. He has already done a placement in a Nursery,working with 20 three and four year olds,so it might be something similar. Looking on the school`s website,the Reception class,which i`m guessing he will be put into,are only in from 9 till 12 noon each day. Because his day twice a week is going to be from 9 till 3pm they might have him in Reception class until 12 and then maybe the P1 class for the remaining three hours,or something similar. But it sounds like he will get some nice ,varied experience anyway. All good for writing up about in his Assignments,and also,for adding to his CV.

Edited February 12, 2016 by Lisa O`Brien

[orchidblue]

Sounds like Sean is really working to get back on track, you must be relieved. Well done to him & I hope he really enjoys the placement and it gives him a boost for completing the rest of his course. Good luck with his dental work too! ????

[Lisa O`Brien]

Thank you,orchid.

[Lisa O`Brien]

Sean had his bridge fitted today and it looks lovely; just like the rest of his teeth. You can`t tell the difference.He said there was absolutely no pain or discomfort involved at all.  

[Fiz]

Hooray!

[meadowblythe]

Good and bad news of stage manager non dancing son ...

 

Bad news - last three months of degree on hold

 

Good news - offered a job at the RSC as automation technician, job description was full of his favourite words (rigging,flying,working at height, antisocial hours ..).

 

He has an initial 8 month contract, and will hopefully then finish his degree about this time next year.  

 

So hooray for Extended Btechs, less prestigious schools, and a passion for your craft.  

 

Starting salary is 2.5 times mine, so I'm green with envy!

[sarahw]

What super news - congratulations ! A relief for you as well knowing he is earning well!

[Jan McNulty]

What fantastic news Meadowblythe; you must be incredibly proud.

[meadowblythe]

funniest thing is the non-dancing daughter ...

 

She is considering Theatre Studies as an A level choice, so I had bought us tickets for Hamlet at the RSC as a birthday treat (picking her up from voc. music school on that day, and it's on the way home).

 

Used to visiting her bro. working in a pantomime setting, her first question was "Will I get a shout out ?"  followed by "will we get discount at the shop?"

 

Not sure the RSC do shout outs!

[Lisa O`Brien]

That`s wonderful meadowblythe,and The Royal Shakespeare Company no less; one of my favourite theatrical companies.  

Edited February 22, 2016 by Lisa O`Brien

[Lisa O`Brien]

Roughly seven weeks to go until my son completes his HNC. I was hoping his new tooth was going to dramatically help the situation but it hasn`t. Sean has been missing college and not bothering to do his assignments. He has lost all interest in the course. At first ,I was really hoping he would change his mind and want to go and do the second year and get the HND qualification. But the last few weeks have been so stressful and difficult I just can`t wait for him to leave. Sean has been talking about getting a job in a shop or pizza place during the summer. But I think he would be better off looking for a more permanent job. He told me this course is nothing like the previous Health and Social  Care course he did,which he really enjoyed,and which was referring to reference books mainly.This course is all relevant to your placement. Seeing how at the school he attends they hardly give him anything to do as every single Thursday all day the class he is in with are doing tests,he has had nothing to write about in his assignments. He currently has five outstanding assignments that should have been handed in weeks ago. Personal and professional development,Psychology,Communication,Working in partnership and another one I can`t remember. He said they ALL refer back to his work placement. He was just sitting in his room the other day,staring at a blank screen on the computer,with literally nothing to write about. The college knows he isn`t given anything much to do every Thursday and Friday at the primary school,but it is too late in the year to change placements. I told him that he has to write SOMETHING,so to make something up,like different scenarios,that sound plausible ,as no one reading and marking the assignments is going to know any different anyway. The college tutors have all been wonderful to him,I have to say,and have been more than patient. On too many occasions I care to remember,I have half expected him to have been thrown off the course. Last week a hand written letter from his course co-ordinator arrived in the post. She wanted to see him the following Monday at 10am. This is the second time she has "sent for him" so to speak. The first time I was expecting him to be thrown off. She was actually really lovely to him.Told Sean how pleased she was to see him. This second time? He never turned up.Messaged her and said something or other. He was at another placement,before the school, in an old people`s home. He hated it,and after two weeks never went back. He also never contacted the Supervisor to explain that he wasn`t going to be going back,which was both rude and unprofessional,and which I said to  him over and over again. The course co-ordinator asked Sean to write to her, [the home supervisor] aplogising for his behaviour. Five weeks later,he finally got round to writing a letter to her. He received a lovely reply;saying he would be more than welcome back at any time if he so wished,and that he had been a delight and pleasure to work with. He`s a lovely lad,and people take to him and speak very highly of him. He`s supposed to be in college this week,but wasn`t in yesterday or today. He emailed the course co-ordinator who suggested he just do one of the sections of the assignment ,not both ,to make things easier for him. He had a lovely email off her a few weeks ago,which I read. It said all his tutors are rooting for him to complete his assignments before the end of the academic year [6th June] so he can be awarded that Pass grade [he definately won`t get anything higher,because to get a Merit or Distinction they have to be handed in on time]. Initially I was hoping he would decide to stay on and do the second year. Now I don`t want him to even think about going back in September. I know he has a new tooth. But the last few weeks have been like,well, pulling teeth.