Popular Post meadowblythe Posted August 30, 2016 Popular Post Share Posted August 30, 2016 Ten years ago, my son wasn’t getting ready for Junior Associates - he didn’t get in. I thought I’d write his story to show how even though things appear to be going wrong, there can be a happy ending. Warning, it’s quite long! Nine years ago, we were labelling for JA’s, and for PVP’s. I had shown a lamentable lack of faith in his ability and take the precaution of auditioning for Elmhurst as well. We had two very contrasting experiences. PVPs - loved from the start, it was flips, tricks, pirouettes. Jazz with the charismatic Mrs Mac. JA’s - he never warmed to them and they to him. Two successive teachers damned with faint praise. For whatever reason, he didn’t get White Lodge - but he did get three other offers all with MDS funding. I honestly believe being a JA closed rather than opened doors, including many years later at Upper School stage. Of the offers he had, we went head rather than heart, choosing the most prestigious rather than the one he felt an emotional attachment to. That summer he told me he had made a mistake, and wasn’t ready to go away. I thought it was just nerves, and what else was he going to do anyway? At Christmas we were summoned to meet his teacher and the head of dance - having tried to run away three times, and told the teacher how much he hated being there concerns were raised. Discussion suggested that he had expected a lot more twirling and jumping rather than the basics that were the staple of year 7 life. Hindsight suggests I should have looked for somewhere he would be happy there and then, but I have no dance training and so we stuck where we were. Unsurprisingly, he was assessed out at the end of year 9. The head of dance told him, however, he had the makings of a dancer, just not a classical dancer. He moved to the one school of the three that he had previously not considered. Carried on dancing, carried on focusing on ballet, but thrived in a less pressurised environment where he could be “one of the boys,” and mix with a wider range of people. But his heart still said ballet, so at the end of GCSEs he moved to Scotland to study for a BA in Modern Ballet. Against everything I have ever said, at length, about not taking A levels and “wasting” university funding. Three glorious years followed - and the dancing was pretty good too. Took to university life with a vengeance, and again loved mixing with a wide range of students - including from other institutions. The dancing was not all smooth sailing though. In the February of the first year I had the only phone call I ever received saying he couldn’t do it, and was giving up dance. A real personality clash (not for the first time, see comments about year 7 and JAs) with his teacher. This time we could all deal with it though. We told him that he was to talk to a teacher he did get on with immediately and tell them how he felt. And he was doing nothing until he had considered the alternatives. By Easter all was resolved, but his comment was that had he not had similar knock-backs earlier, this one would have been beyond his reach. Summer schools had always been an extra that really stretched us financially, and many of the prestigious ones were well beyond our reach. However, travelling abroad worked out cheaper and resulted in friendships and contacts that he would not have made elsewhere. And it gave a gentle exposure to arriving at a strange place, having made your own way there, and dealing with whatever you find. Although I look back and am surprised he set off at 16 to stay in an Air BnB in a strange country, never having even flown before. What caught him out was riding a bike on the other side of the road - we hadn’t thought to warn him about this. Always tiny, from age 16 onwards he has grown and grown - now topping 6 foot. Still slender, but with a dancer’s body. The summer schools also really helped with confidence - to see how he compared with other dancers. Third year saw a confident boy, who although he kept telling us he wasn’t ready, maybe this time was. He had a variety of offers, both classical and contemporary, at home and abroad. Still not in top favour with his school, he didn’t get to dance a solo in even one of the final year shows, something that makes me so sad. Having caught the travel bug, he accepted an offer from a company in an incredibly beautiful area of the Czech Republic, and meeting up with a student who had been at his first school, albeit several years ahead, a flat share was arranged. Incidentally, he beat several students from the establishment who told him he would never make a ballet dancer to get the position. I said this story has a happy ending. Last night my son did dance a solo - learnt at a modestly priced summer school this year - lin the gala show, his first as a professional dancer. I hope it’s not an ending, but just a beginning. I’ve just received a letter welcoming my daughter to 6th form at her school and I’m going to quote the last couple of paragraphs as I think they say it all. “Remember that we are all happiest if we don’t compare ourselves with other people, but set our own paths, goals and standards.” And most of all - be kind. Above all - enjoy it!” 58 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jan McNulty Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Thanks so much for sharing your son's story MB. Very, very best wishes to him for the future! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahw Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 That is an inspiring story. Thank you for sharing it and very many congratulations to your son. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anon2 Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Thank you for sharing your son's journey. All the best to him starting his career and your daughter joining sixth form. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tulip Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Aw I enjoyed reading that MB, I love it when forum children achieve their dreams. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kate_N Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Wonderful! Thank you for taking the time to share this with us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TooTu Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 What an wonderfully inspiring story. Thank you for sharing it with us Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa O`Brien Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Thank you so much for your wonderful Post, MB. I wish your son all the very best of luck with his career. [And do let us know how he is getting on from time to time, if that's OK !] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harwel Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Thanks for sharing MB. I love to hear the more 'unusual' routes to success, as it just proves there is more than one road that leads to Rome. As you know, I have been aware of your sons journey since your daughter and my ds shared the stage together in their local dance school show. Many congratulations to him for his perseverance and determination and the very best of luck for the future. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anna C Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Thank you so much for sharing, meadowblythe. Huge congrats to your ds - and to you, for suppirting him all the way. I hope he is hugely happy and successful in his career. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nancy19 Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Thank you. What a wonderful read. Good luck to your son and daughter for the future years! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lifeafterballet? Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 I watched your sons performance at ss earlier this month. He is a lovely lad and I wish him all the very best. May this be the first of many solos . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alison Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 As I've frequently said over the years, when asked about advice for getting into my own profession, sometimes you can't actually take the obvious, direct route, but have to take a more roundabout path to get where you want to be. It sounds as though that's what your ds has done, and congratulations to him! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meadowblythe Posted August 31, 2016 Author Share Posted August 31, 2016 Thank you so much to all who replied - yes, he did perform Bronze Idol as his solo. I would like to stress that he has had more downs than ups. I also wanted to respond to the thread regarding "good dancers" being priced out of a career - I think Julie W and I would both now be able to testify there is more than one route to a career, and neither of our sons did vast numbers of summer schools. We will always be grateful to her son for his excellent advice and support during the year 7 wobbles. Also I wanted to highlight that not every dancer wants to join a British Company immediately. My son made a conscious decision to chose a position in a foreign based company,and to live abroad. I don't want to re-open that particular can of worms, but it is a wonderful opportunity to experience a different culture. Meadowblythe 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aileen Posted August 31, 2016 Share Posted August 31, 2016 I don't know whether comparisons with elite athletes are productive but there are certainly Olympic medallists who have had to contend with many years of disappointment before they achieve success. Kelly Holmes particularly comes to mind; she won her two gold medals when she was in her thirties. Not everyone achieves success in their teens or early twenties. I know that there are many other competitions between the Olympics Games but it's the Olympics that everyone takes notice of and they only come along every four years. If you have to miss one Games because of injury or a bad patch which means that you don't qualify you have to wait eight years for another try. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annaliesey Posted August 31, 2016 Share Posted August 31, 2016 So lovely to read, thanks for sharing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2dancersmum Posted August 31, 2016 Share Posted August 31, 2016 Well done to your DS. I will always remember him as the small boy who grew so rapidly I barely recognised him a year later. I wish him all the luck in the world for his professional career and I hope you manage to get out to see him perform some time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joyofdance Posted September 1, 2016 Share Posted September 1, 2016 Thanks for sharing. It is great to hear of young people with such determination. Well done to your Ds on such an amazing achievement and given everything he went through it is well deserved. You must be a very proud Mum. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huddsballetmum Posted September 1, 2016 Share Posted September 1, 2016 Great to hear such an inspiring story that shows other dancers that the road may not always be smooth. Congratulations to your DS and I wish him all the best in his career. It is very true that you should never compete with anyone but yourself. Everyone's story is meant to be different. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billyelliott Posted September 1, 2016 Share Posted September 1, 2016 Thanks for sharing your story ! I also have a small for age and slender DS - hoping for a growth spurt one fine day ....most encouraging to hear about his Journey xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahw Posted September 1, 2016 Share Posted September 1, 2016 (edited) Everyone is very aware of girls puberty issues but boys much less so - and you have to wait til older for it to happen.... I'm sure your ds has plenty of time Billy Elliott! Edited September 1, 2016 by sarahw Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meadowblythe Posted September 2, 2016 Author Share Posted September 2, 2016 My son only grew when he didn't dance ... never in term time, always in the holidays after summer school. He actually used to schedule growing time in for the last couple of years. I think boys do continue growing much later, apparently this can cause problems when they audition at one height and arrive 3 months later at another! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aileen Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 MB, I think that you were the one who was worried about your son's height and posted something to that effect two or three years ago. Several of us assured you that he would grow and indeed he did. Boys can have their growth spurts very late. My son's friend did not have his until he was over 16 but he is now over six feet tall. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dance*is*life Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 Lovely story! And I'm sure your support over the years made a big contribution to his eventual success....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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