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Casting a magic spell?


alison
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If you were able to cast one magic spell, what would it be?  Let's take things such as world peace, ending poverty/hunger, riches, good looks and so on as read, to make it more interesting.  I ask, because a number of times recently I've seen somebody deliberately dropping litter, and thought what I'd really really like would be a magic spell that would make all the pieces of litter jump back up and attach themselves immovably to the clothing of the person who dropped it, or maybe to the car they dropped it from!  I think that might be quite a disincentive to drop litter in the future, don't you? :)

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I love your spell Alison!

 

After the day I have had I would cast a spell that would make trains always run on time!  (I was going to MK to see a matinee - because of floods in area arrived 2 hours late at 1500 instead of 1300 so well missed start.  Worries about the journey home made me not even leave the station.  I spent 9 hours on trains or hanging around for connections with absolutely nothing to show for it!).

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I love your spell Alison!

 

After the day I have had I would cast a spell that would make trains always run on time! (I was going to MK to see a matinee - because of floods in area arrived 2 hours late at 1500 instead of 1300 so well missed start. Worries about the journey home made me not even leave the station. I spent 9 hours on trains or hanging around for connections with absolutely nothing to show for it!).

We had issues because of this today too and I just love how the Virgin website just listed each train as delayed until they mysteriously disappeared from the list and were cancelled! National Rail website helpfully telling us that trains northbound are starting from Rugby and southbound from Milton Keynes. Not much help when you have travelled from Norfolk to take a pre booked train and your return ticket is for the next day. We frequently travel by train both in UK and mainland Europe and it is progressively getting more unreliable, whilst we all quietly accept our inconvience refund for being delayed.

 

My magic spell would be that the powers that be keep the station staff informed so they can help customers rather than feeding them mis information.

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My magic spell would be that the powers that be keep the station staff informed so they can help customers rather than feeding them mis information.

 

So sorry for both you and Janet :(  I often feel really sorry for the staff in such situations: they're the ones on the front line, and tend to get all the stick from the customers.

 

I had a bit of a similar situation a couple of months ago: my evening train home was cancelled, and I didn't want to wait half an hour just to find them trying to force the contents of my 8-coach train and the next, 6-coach, one into 6 coaches, so hopped on a fast train down to the major station beyond mine so that I could get the slow back up.  There was a 6-minute connection slot.  You guessed it: my train got delayed, and nobody told the staff to hold the up train, so it left just as I got onto the platform.  Then the next up train was the one formed by the cancelled train, so that didn't run either.  I ended up getting home after midnight - nearly 2 hours for what should have been a 20-minute journey!

 

Anyway, this is getting really off the topic ...

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Apparition would be my choice. When I have to go out, I can just about cope with the pain but actually getting back home again is a nightmare. Can't tell you how often I've wished I could apparate and magically appear in my bed. :-)

 

Being a complete Potterhead, my teenage dd once tried to apparate but remained in the same place. Perhaps her Hogwarts letter got lost in the post.

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How about dog poo that magically disappears back up whence it came? :D  :D

No need for that in our dog-loving house as we muggles pick up after our dog. Now if I could cast a protective spell around my garden to stop neighbours' cats pooing there, I'd be happy. ;-))

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My spell would be to uninvent the mobile phone. This means pedestrians would look where they are going, motorists might look past the end of the bonnet and an end to idiots on the train phoning to let somebody know that they are on the train. (What to they expect to happen if you go to a railway station?)

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How about dog poo that magically disappears back up whence it came? :D  :D

Poor little doggies! My spell would be to magic the poo into the pockets of the irresponsible dog owners who don't clean up after their pets. The bigger and messier the dump, the better! I would also make sure it was the pocket in which the owner keeps their door key so they could really feel the quality! :angry:  :angry:! We are plagued round here by such people. If you say anything, you get abuse so this would be a nice surprise for them when they get home.

The same spell could apply to litter droppers. Their pockets could fill with smelly fag ends, half eaten burgers and whatever else is lying around on our filthy streets. 

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An Archers related request - can I remove Rob and Ursula Titchenor (polite form!) from the programme, and expunge them both from my memory?

 

I have never before dreaded listening as I do now, and as I have listened as long as I can remember - had to pull off at the services and take a good half an hour to recover when Mark Hebden died - it's been a long time.

 

And yes, I do know this means absolutely nothing to some of you, apologies!

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In yesterday's Telegraph a Letter to the Editor pointed out the similarity between the Rob and Helen plot line and that of David Copperfield:

 

"Pathetic Mrs. Copperfield (Helen) is in thrall to the dastardly Mr. Murdstone (Rob) abetted by Miss Murdstone (Ursula). Little master Davey (Henry) is to be sent away to the blacking factory (prep school). Then poor Mrs. Copperfield (Helen) and her baby will die (as a result of some poor medical preparations [?home birth]) leaving Mr. Murdstone (Rob) to inherit. Let's hope that a Betsy Trotwood appears to rescue Henry. Not Helen's truly pathetic parents, but perhaps Tom?"

 

I should like to add Kirsty as a possible Betsy Trotwood.

 

I've actually stopped listening because it's too dreadful, but keep up via the synopses on The Archers website.

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I

 

In yesterday's Telegraph a Letter to the Editor pointed out the similarity between the Rob and Helen plot line and that of David Copperfield:

"Pathetic Mrs. Copperfield (Helen) is in thrall to the dastardly Mr. Murdstone (Rob) abetted by Miss Murdstone (Ursula). Little master Davey (Henry) is to be sent away to the blacking factory (prep school). Then poor Mrs. Copperfield (Helen) and her baby will die (as a result of some poor medical preparations [?home birth]) leaving Mr. Murdstone (Rob) to inherit. Let's hope that a Betsy Trotwood appears to rescue Henry. Not Helen's truly pathetic parents, but perhaps Tom?"

I should like to add Kirsty as a possible Betsy Trotwood.

I've actually stopped listening because it's too dreadful, but keep up via the synopses on The Archers website.

 

I haven't listened to The Archers for some time, but it is mentioned in today's Times that the current plot is also not unlike that of the 1944 film Gaslight, in which the husband manipulates his wife into believing she is losing her mind. 

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Personally, I have never forgiven The Archers for replacing Dick Barton - and the channel still gets changed as soon as that Rumpty-tumpty-tumpty-tum is heard.  (For the much younger amongst you, this was still in the days of the post-war Light Programme, when Dick Barton, Special Agent, occupied that early evening 15 minute slot - and with a much more dramatic theme tune, one that defies onomatopoetic rendering here.)

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Personally, I have never forgiven The Archers for replacing Dick Barton - and the channel still gets changed as soon as that Rumpty-tumpty-tumpty-tum is heard.  (For the much younger amongst you, this was still in the days of the post-war Light Programme, when Dick Barton, Special Agent, occupied that early evening 15 minute slot - and with a much more dramatic theme tune, one that defies onomatopoetic rendering here.)

I`ve now got the Dick Barton Special Agent theme tune on my brain. It was shown on TV in the Eighties. I can`t remember if it was the original or a remake.But the theme tune was very distinctive.

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Just been on You Tube. The series started in 1979 [i was near enough]. Somebody very helpfully said the theme tune was called The Devil`s Gallop and it was shown on a Sunday night,just before Worzel Gummage,which I also used to watch.

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Personally, I have never forgiven The Archers for replacing Dick Barton - and the channel still gets changed as soon as that Rumpty-tumpty-tumpty-tum is heard.  (For the much younger amongst you, this was still in the days of the post-war Light Programme, when Dick Barton, Special Agent, occupied that early evening 15 minute slot - and with a much more dramatic theme tune, one that defies onomatopoetic rendering here.)

 

Just as I was considered old enough to stay up for Dick Barton it was replaced by the Archers. I wasn't best pleased at the time but somehow got hooked by The Archers and have stayed with it (off and on) until recently. If, as Alison said above, Rob Tchener getts his well-deserved comeuppance, I'll no doubt be back.

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Ah, Dick Barton. The much-lamented Croydon Warehouse Theatre used to do really great DB spoofs for their Christmas show. It got demolished a few years ago, and they haven't got round to rebuilding it yet, despite the fact that it's supposed to be part of Croydon's regeneration project :(

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I would wave my wand and make all forms of tobacco completely unconsumable, whether via taste or arsenic-like immediate toxicity.  Aside the global health benefits, this would mean I could finally sit outside restaurants in France in the sunshine instead of cowering inside away from the noxious fumes of every other diner...

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I would wave my wand and make all forms of tobacco completely unconsumable, whether via taste or arsenic-like immediate toxicity.  Aside the global health benefits, this would mean I could finally sit outside restaurants in France in the sunshine instead of cowering inside away from the noxious fumes of every other diner...

 

Oh, but the evocative odour of Gitanes… Would France be the same without?!

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I also wondered why Anjuli stopped posting. I thought it perhaps impolitic to ask, in case she was ill or had just decided she didn't want to post anymore. She always came across as a rather serene and knowledgeable lady. I am sorry if she was offended by anything she read on this forum, so much so that she decided to stop posting. Perhaps she will read this thread, see that her imput is missed and return? :)

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