Cara in NZ

Thank you all! You're right, Legseleven and mnemo – seeing a friend's 'grief' when her DD gave up suddenly aged 16 helped me to understand how important it is for it to be their dream, not ours. These dancing kids all work so hard. I was briefly annoyed when reading on Facebook the congratulatory posts for another (lovely) DD who did get back into the Scholars programme, along the lines of "Hard work pays off!" I realise they meant well – but mine worked hard too! Had to smile at myself as I admitted that it's only because I still have that pride in her dancing. I am collecting DVDs and photos of her dance years to be sure I have a vast archive to look back on after she's left it behind for medical school!

Ha, you should just be VERY grateful! My DD has only gone through 3 pairs in 18 months, and only broken one pair. The other two she outgrew, so I would think you have also been fortunate if her feet haven't grown in that time!

I'm no expert, but did learn from a dressmaking colleague about using tiny beads to anchor the sequins – you sew the bead on with the needle also going through the hole in the sequin to anchor it. I think that what you call 'flapping around' is actually intentional so that the sequins move and catch the light? (That was the idea of the beads, ie the sequins weren't sewn flat to the fabric)

Hi all – I have so appreciated your support of my DD, who is now 13 and got into the national Scholars (JA) programme for 2016. I wanted to put up a post to say that we have now officially decided against the dancer 'dream' as a career. To be fair, my DD was never sure she wanted it – and I have read many times that a dance career is hard enough for the talented kids who REALLY want it. So we took this year as a good period to work out what she wanted, and also knew that whether she kept her place on the programme for 2017 would influence her direction. Well, she didn't get back in. But honestly, the relief on her face (and in my heart) meant it wasn't a blow at all. In NZ we still have the 'middle school' model so kids don't start secondary school until Year 9. So she will start in February, now with a focus on her academic studies as she wants to be an anaesthetist, of all things. (She will probably be starting her career as her dancer peers are finishing theirs!) This post is not looking for commiseration. What I want to say is that this year, with seven ballet and two Pilates classes a week, plus the pressure of the 'elite programme', she lost the enjoyment and love she had for ballet, which was distressing to see. Once that pressure had gone, we gleefully sat down with the dance school timetable and she decided she would do two Advanced Foundation, one Grade 6, one open, and one hip-hop class next year. She will continue private lessons for the Alana Haines Awards in April and competition work. But it is a huge weight off our minds, and now I just want her to enjoy these next few years of ballet. If any of you have DC with doubts, niggling injuries, or dilemmas about what path to take, I really want to reassure you that none of the money, time or commitment will ever be wasted. My DD has gained a vast amount of poise and confidence from her dancing, and got the 'Endeavour Cup' yesterday at her Yr 8 prizegiving for all-round academic effort, teamwork, and leadership. She was a little mouse who refused to dance on her own eight years ago! Wishing you all a lovely Christmas, and a welcome break from dance logistics. I'll still be lurking, and enjoying reading about your rollercoaster rides

I think the point of having a camera at the back of the studio is that the kids forget about it, ie don't feel like they are being filmed. It also means that parents (except for one who is a dance teacher) don't try to peer in through the 'viewing window' (high up enough that you have to be standing to see through it) – which IS distracting! I always go to private lessons as often I'm filming dances to remember choreography, or for DD to review what she did. Also, we discuss what competitions are coming up, what she is preparing for, what she needs to go over etc. DD is 13 and likes having me there, so maybe we are unusual – but she hates me peering in the window!

Sorry, just saw you also mentioned 'bun position'! Ha! The 'classical bun' is designed to enhance the line of the neck, so you draw an imaginary line from the jawline up past the ears, that should lead to the 'crown' and best spot for the bun. But again, it's just not worth sweating about!

I've just read this whole thread with great interest. I'm really happy to say that our dance school has a camera at the back of each studio, with the classes displayed on a large screen in the waiting room (split screen when more than one class is on). When a class is on during rush-hour, it's easier for me to stay with a magazine, but you certainly don't think they have anything to hide! Plus parents are always invited to watch private lessons. But would this be unusual in the UK?

Agree with other posts, but just wanted to add that according to Misty Copeland, big feet are good! I think it's because with a stretched foot, the leg appears longer. My DD is the same height as a classmate but en pointe she is shorter because of having smaller feet. And there's no point sweating about photos. They know what they are looking for and you can't do any more than make them as flattering as possible (without Photoshop). Good luck!

Ha, we don't have a tumble-dryer either. If she needs her leo again the next day, she just 'airs' it overnight Re cotton, my biggest thing is that if they wear fleecy things on top, you get fluff, and it's invariably white fluff on a dark leo, and dark fluff on tights. So I'll take microfibre, and be glad we don't have set rules about fabric!

Wear Moi is annoyingly inconsistent. DD has XS and S leos that fit her, but another Wear Moi style in S that is too big.

YES! A friend brought some back from the UK but she ony had Adult Small. I got one for my 13-yr-old DD, who is average height but a size 6 and usually wears Child XL or Adult XS. I thought it might fit her next year but it fits her perfectly now!

What is 'appropriate' is often something the teacher or parent has to decide. I felt rather uncomfortable watching a friend's 11-yr-old dancing a contemporary solo to the Hunger Games' 'Hanging Tree', including miming putting a noose around her neck, but her teacher/mother must have thought it was ok! Generally for the little ones there is a lot of fairy dell/waterfall/sunrise sort of themes going on. I don't think 'love themes' in general are inappropriate – Cinderella could be called a love story I guess! But perhaps avoid the soundtrack to 'Fifty Shades'

If it's the same as in NZ, lyrics aren't used in ballet categories. But kids often dance to instrumental versions of non-classical pieces – all sorts from 'Love Story' to Sia!

I think you only have to 'attempt' doubles in the Intermediate exam. DD said hers were very shaky but she still managed a Distinction. It's certainly a steep learning curve for the average kid!

That sounds right, Pups. Although my DD missed Grade 4 & 5 (RAD), the classes are immediately before hers so I've been watching to see what she's missed. There was definitely a strange thing from parallel in Gr 4 and I see them doing singles for Gr 5. (DD's very experienced teacher asked her in IF why her supporting leg wasn't straight in pirouettes and she bravely replied that no-one had taught her how to do them. Good for her as it was completely true! She's starting Advanced Foundation now, has singles down pat, doubles to the right and sometimes left, but now has to start doing singles en pointe. Eeek.)

We don't have vocational schools in NZ (apart from some private ones from age 14), but I really noticed the difference this year when my DD went from 5-6 ballet/Pilates classes a week in Yr 7 to 9-10 in Yr 8. She's had several days off school just because she needed recovery time (ie was white as a sheet and off her food so not much point expecting her deal with school as well, although I'd set her homework/maths practice tasks at home). Also, growth spurts put more demands on their poor tired bodies. I would hope that vocational schools would be more aware of the physical demands and adjust to accommodate recovery time? At least you wouldn't have the conflicting demands of things like all-day school athletic sports followed by 3 hours of dancing?!

I'm not an expert, but from observing other classes in RAD it's Grade 4 for preparation, Grade 5 for starting to turn (my DD skipped those two grades and had to learn in Int Foundation by watching the other kids though). Kids who do jazz seem to do them earlier, I assume because they are a bit easier from parallel and on a low demi-pointe. (Edited to add that 'pirouette' can mean other types of turn though, eg 'posé pirouettes', which I guess is another possible turn they are referring to?)

Our dance school has benefited hugely from employing two ballet teachers this year who are also Pilates instructors, and one is also a physio. They (RAD vocational students) now have an extra half-hour of 'body conditioning/Pilates' before their Saturday open class. The physio asked DD about her troublesome knees (going back 2 years but with no actual injury), and we went to her for 3 months of physio. She was great as she understood ballet and could ask DD which steps/moves hurt and where, as well as checking her alignment on jump landings/transition steps. She gave DD exercises to strengthen her VMO/quads/glutes, as well as instructions for rolling out tight ITB and working on alignment. She is now on a maintenance programme at home and I can't believe what a difference it has made! Her dance teachers were very 'hands off' and when her knees were sore would just tell her not to do any jumping. I guess that's the difference a generation makes, as the teachers were in their fifties and these new ones are in their twenties/thirties.

Funnily enough, this year a saw a dancer do her classical solo in a tutu whose *entire* bodice was sequins. I thought it was a bit OTT, but she won! For her first time doing her classical barefoot, my DD wore a black leo with a pretty blue/pink floral border and matching skirt in the floral print, and was a bit put off when a girl in her age-group (11) told her their teacher wouldn't let them wear black on stage before they were 14! So teacher AND adjudicator preferences vary and you can't get it right all the time.

I had trouble posting a reply, but knew it had been posted as I had an email notification that someone had liked it. So now I'm not sure what went missing!

If I were starting over again, I would look at something like this http://www.movedancewear.com/tutus_and_skirts_tutus-alegra_basic_kids_camisole_tutu/2533/ And then you can embellish the heck out of it

For group dances, our teachers are very firm about no eye-shadow and only red lipstick. For solos it's left up to us. Before DD started doing her own make-up (at 11), I watched YouTube tutorials (search 'stage make-up for children'). I have always used either a 'tawny' eyebrow pencil or brown eye-shadow to define DD's light brows, as nothing looks weirder on stage than well-defined eyes/lips with no sign of any eyebrows! I think that with all their hair scraped off their face, the brows need to provide a 'frame' for the eyes.

My DD had to wear them for IF last year (we call them demi-pointes). This year she is wearing old pointe shoes that she has broken the shank on – we removed the shank and squished the box in a door-frame (as demonstrated by her teacher, I should add!). But they all hate them, I think mostly because their feet suddenly look less bendy, plus they can be uncomfortable when you are used to super-soft split-soles!

Agree... but our school has a 14-yr-old with a Tinkerbelle demi-character that she's had for a while. Her teacher is very clever and has just made it 'darker' as she's got older, as well as putting it en pointe

Great comments! My DD has only ever had second-hand tutus. Her first was a pancake one, which was much harder to travel with as it had to be kept flat (we had to fly to a comp in the grandparents' town so they could see her dance). I see the older girls at our dance school lending tutus to each other and bringing them to class rolled up in a big carrier bag, ie much easier for travelling with! So I would not say she needs the completely flat tutu. I've heard of young girls dancing classical dances in a leo and chiffon skirt, but of course you don't want yours to be the only kid not in a tutu. The most important thing is for them to feel good in their costume, and I don't think you would ever be marked down for a costume unless it was very badly fitting or inappropriate. Having said that, there is a fine line between a tutu 'just fitting', and the next time they wear it you can see from the rear view that it has gone right up their backside – which usually means it's time for a bigger one! Bear in mind too that adjudicators have different preferences – we just had one who was all about feet, which meant my DD was not going to do well! She also had a negative comment when she wore foot undies for her first barefoot dance, as she was worried about the stage being sticky for turning. So you can't do everything right and should just focus on the things that are definitely set, ie maximum dance length.