What to do - "outgrowing" a school?

[MumMumMum]

 

DD 11, been at the same (nearest to us) dance school since 4 where she started baby ballet lessons.

Over the years she's dropped other extra curricular activities and taken on more dance lessons. She now dances nearly every day, taking a range of classes.

Most of the classes tend to be age related and DD's come home the last few weeks saying that people are "messing" around in class and in her words "not taking it serious".

There are some children off quite a bit (understandable in current times) and so they keep having to go over routines/exercises.

Just wondering if I should be looking at other schools (even though I would feel bad after being there so long). When she moves up age groups, she wont be one of the oldest then so may find that by the next age bracket it is the more serious dancers and so no messing etc, so do we stay and see if things improve?

 

Thanks

 

[balletbean]

12 minutes ago, MumMumMum said:

 

DD 11, been at the same (nearest to us) dance school since 4 where she started baby ballet lessons.

Over the years she's dropped other extra curricular activities and taken on more dance lessons. She now dances nearly every day, taking a range of classes.

Most of the classes tend to be age related and DD's come home the last few weeks saying that people are "messing" around in class and in her words "not taking it serious".

There are some children off quite a bit (understandable in current times) and so they keep having to go over routines/exercises.

Just wondering if I should be looking at other schools (even though I would feel bad after being there so long). When she moves up age groups, she wont be one of the oldest then so may find that by the next age bracket it is the more serious dancers and so no messing etc, so do we stay and see if things improve?

 

Thanks

 

Hi. Nothing unusual in your question at all. We were like you when my DD’s reached about the same age as your DD. They both attended a lovely local dance school in a purpose built studio where their Auntie taught. Perfectly lovely for those pursuing dance as a hobby/pastime. They reached an age where they wanted more out of their lessons. First my eldest moved and before I could blink my youngest wanted to move as well. I must admit emotionally it was challenging as we were heavily committed to the first studio due to our family connections . However, as I was paying the fees and I could see my girls were outgrowing their studio we made the move.  Never looked back. They have both thrived. The opportunities just fell at their feet at their new studio. I say new very loosely. It’s the oldest dance school in the island with a building to match! But the teachers skills and knowledge far outrank the appearance  of the studio.  Performance opportunities /festivals/competitions and more importantly there was a routine schedule for exams. Not solely based on their age/class but in their individual ability.  No regrets at all. DD’s have thrived and have both graduated their respective choice of US & MT college. Which we didn’t know would happen at the time they moved.  Just evolved but with hindsight there were possibly big hints at the time that I didn’t pickup on. 
My message to anyone that is considering a change. If you are considering a change then it’s the right time to change. 
Just remember, which I’m sure you will to have that conversation with your DD about additional friendships, travelling time and homework etc. As well as the impact on family (siblings if any) life if it will take up more time on the ‘commute’   Whilst also doing some discreet enquiries on space availability at any potential studio before raising your DD’s hopes only to find out that there’s no room at the inn 😉
ps. Don’t forget to factor in the notice required to be given to your current studio or you may have to forfeit a terms worth of fees 😕oh and of course the additional expense for the change of uniform! 💸💸
Good Luck in whatever you decide. 🍀.
 

[Jan McNulty]

2 hours ago, MumMumMum said:

 

DD 11, been at the same

 

 

Hello MumMumMum and welcome to the Forum!

[drdance]

As a teacher, if one of my pupils was feeling like this I would want to know. I would recommend that you talk to the teacher/school owner if possible and explain your concerns first. Does the school have a lot of older students who are taking dancing seriously? Do students who leave the school go on to further dance training? If so then the quality of the school and the training is good, so it might be that your DD needs to change groups within the school rather than leave all together.

[Kanangra]

We have been in exactly your position. DD had been there since she was 3, I was dancing there as well, in an adult tap class, and it felt (I imagine) like contemplating a divorce. We dithered around the issue for a couple of years and tried to supplement with extra workshops and summer schools but it became glaringly obvious and DD left when she was 13. Honestly I wish we had gone years before. She loved her teacher but it was a recreational school where the majority of the kids were just doing it for fun. We moved to a more serious school which had stronger emphasis on technique and discipline and which had some prevocational classes and offered part time classes and full time for older students. DD's dancing improved out of sight and she eventually went full time and is now studying contemporary dance in the UK. The first school's focus was on enjoyment rather than technique - students often didn't even have a bun or tights in ballet classes - and I wish I had known then what I know now. 

[Anna C]

I think it’s easy to forget that we, as parents, are paying customers, and when our child spends much of their week at one particular dance school, we get emotionally involved and can start to feel (or be made to feel) disloyal if we consider moving schools.  

 

When my dd was learning to swim, I had to move her twice before we found a Teacher she “clicked” with.  We didn’t think twice about loyalty, or whether the swimming teacher would be cross/upset/take it personally - the pool and teaching style were not working for dd.  Simple as that.  When we moved, she started to look forward to swimming lessons instead of fearing them, and progressed rapidly up the classes.  Looking back, I wish we had been able to change dance schools without fearing being labelled disloyal or getting a “bad reputation” in the small, close-knit dance world.  It should be a no-brainer that if our children are not thriving and getting what they need to progress, we take our money elsewhere.

 

I agree with drdance that speaking to the Teacher is vital, explain the issues and ask what, if anything, can change - if things improve, then great; if not, then there is nothing wrong with doing trial classes with other schools, seeing if they have space, and if so, giving the appropriate notice to your current school and making the switch.

[Kate_N]

13 hours ago, Kanangra said:

The first school's focus was on enjoyment rather than technique - students often didn't even have a bun or tights in ballet classes - and I wish I had known then what I know now. 

 

There's really nothing wrong with such studios. They are fantastic places for children to learn to love dance. My local studio is like this, and it provides a nurturing & non-competitive environment for any child to learn to dance, in a variety of styles. That is the studio's central ethos. Children all follow set curricula, so there is progression & development, but they don't do exams, and the philosophy is that dance is good for you & everyone can do it.

 

But importantly, the studio owner is also very open and encouraging of the more serious students to go on to other schools which focus more centrally on ballet. One young teen pupil went through to vocational school recently, after moving on from this studio to one which focused on ballet at a higher level.

 

Both the 'dance for enjoyment' and serious technical study-focused schools are important.

[MumMumMum]

Thanks balletbean, will look at what other schools offer that are still practical to fit around our family life and sibling activities then discuss with DD if she still says similar about her current lessons.

Thanks for the welcome Jan.

DrDance, thanks for a teacher perspective. I know of one or two older girls go on to dance further but there may be more.

Kanagra, we have started looking how to supplement her lessons. DD started for fun but wants to do it more seriously now. Our school doesn't insist on buns or ballet uniforms.

AnnaC it's strange you mention swimming we moved DD to a different swim school without me feeling anything like I do now and we moved her sister from the swim school DD was at when it didn't seem to suit her.  

Kate_N thanks for the reply.

 

 

 

 

[Kate_N]

The experience & knowledge in this forum is great - if you wanted to give an indication of roughly your area (county, nearest  large city or distance from a good dance centre such as Birmingham, Leeds or London) the wisdom of posters in here may be able to suggest likely studios.

 

Of course though you may not wish to give any indication of where you are - totally understandable! You can also do a search of the BalletCoUK forum to see if your area comes up with any recommendations.

 

Good luck in your decisions!

[Tango Dancer]

On 28/07/2021 at 09:13, Anna C said:

I think it’s easy to forget that we, as parents, are paying customers, and when our child spends much of their week at one particular dance school, we get emotionally involved and can start to feel (or be made to feel) disloyal if we consider moving schools.  

 

 

 

Moving dance teachers is really hard at any point in life.  I moved tango teachers after 18 months because I felt I had achieved all I could.  I didn't want to tell the teacher so I said I was taking a break and started learning somewhere else without telling him.  I felt a complete heel but I didn't know how to say that his lessons weren't working for me especially as he was quite dismissive of other teachers on the scene.  I still feel bad for how I handled the situation.  

 

I've found adult ballet a lot more open to people learning elsewhere.  I told both my regular ballet teachers that I was doing a repertoire workshop  recently and both of them thought it was fantastic that I was diversifying and learning other things.  

[Kanangra]

On 28/07/2021 at 21:19, Kate_N said:

 

There's really nothing wrong with such studios. They are fantastic places for children to learn to love dance. My local studio is like this, and it provides a nurturing & non-competitive environment for any child to learn to dance, in a variety of styles. That is the studio's central ethos. Children all follow set curricula, so there is progression & development, but they don't do exams, and the philosophy is that dance is good for you & everyone can do it.

 

But importantly, the studio owner is also very open and encouraging of the more serious students to go on to other schools which focus more centrally on ballet. One young teen pupil went through to vocational school recently, after moving on from this studio to one which focused on ballet at a higher level.

 

Both the 'dance for enjoyment' and serious technical study-focused schools are important.

You are so right! and I've often said that it was the first school which fostered her love of dance, which carried her through some of the more challenging times at the more serious school.

[Kate_N]

That's lovely to hear!

[The red shoes]

On 28/07/2021 at 09:13, Anna C said:

I think it’s easy to forget that we, as parents, are paying customers, and when our child spends much of their week at one particular dance school, we get emotionally involved and can start to feel (or be made to feel) disloyal if we consider moving schools.  

 

When my dd was learning to swim, I had to move her twice before we found a Teacher she “clicked” with.  We didn’t think twice about loyalty, or whether the swimming teacher would be cross/upset/take it personally - the pool and teaching style were not working for dd.  Simple as that.  When we moved, she started to look forward to swimming lessons instead of fearing them, and progressed rapidly up the classes.  Looking back, I wish we had been able to change dance schools without fearing being labelled disloyal or getting a “bad reputation” in the small, close-knit dance world.  It should be a no-brainer that if our children are not thriving and getting what they need to progress, we take our money elsewhere.

 

I agree with drdance that speaking to the Teacher is vital, explain the issues and ask what, if anything, can change - if things improve, then great; if not, then there is nothing wrong with doing trial classes with other schools, seeing if they have space, and if so, giving the appropriate notice to your current school and making the switch.

Could it also be that maybe.. just maybe.. the child hasn’t got “ it” and no matter how many dance schools you go through, change too or how much money you throw at the teachers.. the child is not made for a professional career in dance. It’s not always the fault of the teacher or school by the way... you we can’t transform every child into dancers sadly. 

[Tango Dancer]

10 hours ago, The red shoes said:

Could it also be that maybe.. just maybe.. the child hasn’t got “ it” and no matter how many dance schools you go through, change too or how much money you throw at the teachers.. the child is not made for a professional career in dance. It’s not always the fault of the teacher or school by the way... you we can’t transform every child into dancers sadly. 

 

I think it's really difficult, especially for children.  There are very few professional dancing jobs available and really tough competition.  It's hard for those who enjoy dance and want to do well but aren't going to make professional dancers and it's hard for the teachers to keep them motivated and progressing in the learning journey while being realistic.  I think the hardest thing is not to crush their enjoyment in it.  In an adult ballet class I did before Covid we had at least two middle aged women who did ballet as a child, were told they'd never make it and haven't danced since because they stopped when they heard they wouldn't be first rate.  It's taken some of them many years to want to come back and dance for the pleasure of it.  

 

I never did ballet as a child (my mother said it would ruin my feet) and came to it as a plump 40 year old.  So I'm a lot less flexible but I dance for pure love so I don't beat myself up about the fact my turnout sucks and I can't get my leg very high.  Each time my plie deepens or I get the sequence right I feel so good.   

[Anna C]

10 hours ago, The red shoes said:

Could it also be that maybe.. just maybe.. the child hasn’t got “ it” and no matter how many dance schools you go through, change too or how much money you throw at the teachers.. the child is not made for a professional career in dance. It’s not always the fault of the teacher or school by the way... you we can’t transform every child into dancers sadly. 

 

But that’s not the issue here.  It doesn’t matter whether the child is aiming for full time training or just loves to dance as an extra curricular activity - if the school and/or teacher can’t provide what the child needs, it’s not the right school for that particular child.   My daughter was never aiming to be a professional swimmer but it was still vital that she learned in the right environment *for her*.

 

In terms of dance schools, it could be something as simple as not enough ballet classes on the timetable, or entering the whole class for exams at the same time, based on age rather than ability.  Or it could be that a serious, dedicated child is irritated or disrupted by poor discipline or bad behaviour by other pupils.  There are many many reasons why a child doesn’t thrive at one school - sometimes the Teacher may be able to make changes, sometimes they can’t or won’t.  That’s the time to look elsewhere. 

[SissonneDoublee]

11 hours ago, The red shoes said:

Could it also be that maybe.. just maybe.. the child hasn’t got “ it” and no matter how many dance schools you go through, change too or how much money you throw at the teachers.. the child is not made for a professional career in dance. It’s not always the fault of the teacher or school by the way... you we can’t transform every child into dancers sadly. 

Ouch! The wording of this is incredibly harsh! The original poster said her DC was getting fed up because there were children messing about in class and not taking it seriously, and that frequent absence was making the whole class spend weeks repeating the same thing. She didn’t even mention wanting to have a professional career, unless I have missed something.

OP, it sounds like your DD is ready to move on, and is looking for somewhere that she can take things more seriously. I would definitely echo what others have said about talking to the teacher, but also to start looking at what is available near you.

[Tango Dancer]

1 hour ago, Anna C said:

 

But that’s not the issue here.  It doesn’t matter whether the child is aiming for full time training or just loves to dance as an extra curricular activity - if the school and/or teacher can’t provide what the child needs, it’s not the right school for that particular child.   My daughter was never aiming to be a professional swimmer but it was still vital that she learned in the right environment *for her*.

 

In terms of dance schools, it could be something as simple as not enough ballet classes on the timetable, or entering the whole class for exams at the same time, based on age rather than ability.  Or it could be that a serious, dedicated child is irritated or disrupted by poor discipline or bad behaviour by other pupils.  There are many many reasons why a child doesn’t thrive at one school - sometimes the Teacher may be able to make changes, sometimes they can’t or won’t.  That’s the time to look elsewhere. 

 

I think it's also important to have a teacher who can teach in a way that works for the child.  Different people learn different ways and you need a teaching style that's compatible.  Especially as a child it's not always easy to find the words to explain why you're not understanding something or ask for a move to be broken down and it can be very offputting.    

 

For example I can not learn by watching and copying and need someone who will explain in actual words.  I have dropped any number of bellydance classes because the teacher thinks standing at the front and doing the moves is sufficient for everyone to pick them up.  Especially if it involves turning I need to be told which leg I'm standing on, which way I'm turning and what the free leg is supposed to do when I turn.  

 

It took me 3 goes to find a ballet teacher who taught in a way that made sense to me.  

[taxi4ballet]

13 hours ago, The red shoes said:

Could it also be that maybe.. just maybe.. the child hasn’t got “ it” and no matter how many dance schools you go through, change too or how much money you throw at the teachers.. the child is not made for a professional career in dance. It’s not always the fault of the teacher or school by the way... you we can’t transform every child into dancers sadly. 

It could also be that maybe.. just maybe.. the teaching is just not good enough, and that the standard of training at the school is perfectly good enough for once-a-week recreational dancers, but not of a high enough standard to bring out the best in students with natural talent and vocational potential.

 

[NJH]

On 29/07/2021 at 23:05, The red shoes said:

Could it also be that maybe.. just maybe.. the child hasn’t got “ it” and no matter how many dance schools you go through, change too or how much money you throw at the teachers.. the child is not made for a professional career in dance. It’s not always the fault of the teacher or school by the way... you we can’t transform every child into dancers sadly. 

wow ! 

  please,  go back and re read the OP ...

[taxi4ballet]

8 hours ago, NJH said:

wow ! 

  please,  go back and re read the OP ...

Everyone's opinion is welcome on this forum, and the poster makes a valid point. It may not necessarily apply to the OP, but it will to others, whose ambitions for their child outweigh the child's ability.

[Kate_N]

Good point @taxiforballet and I'd add that it is difficult sometimes, as a teacher, in any field, to keep encouraging someone to do what they love doing, but also to be honest with them about their abilities without dampening that love or ambition (or to the child's parent).