Picturesinthefirelight Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 It's year 11 - audition year. Dd has changed her mind about where she wants to apply more times than I've had hot dinners going from I definately want to do A levels to saying if I don't get in anywhere ill do a 2 year btec then apply again. Shes been working on her solos, songs, monologues etc but every time I ask about applications she is "still researching". She's told me some places she wants to apply to but not done anything about applying. She gets an automatic audition at her present school but some colleges are an online form she has to fill in. I've sent off for a couple of local back up prospectuses & asked if she wants to attend any open days but nothing is actually getting done. Should I be more pro-active, are parents expected to go the running or do I leave her to it & if she misses the boat then so be it (but then she'd have to apply to 6th form college which she says she doesn't want to do). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
balletbean Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 (edited) Hi, I also have a DD in yr 11 (ballet focused) and a older DD (now 22) having gone down the MT route. From my experience along with my eldest, If pursing an MT career training path. Stay and do A levels. MT colleges offer a Degree course for those post 18, Post 16 can only complete the Diploma. My eldest also said that even though many go at 16, accommodation on offer for the post 16 varies. Host families are either loved or loathed by some but compulsory for some colleges. Check the small print carefully. As there was also very little classroom time and academic studies were conducted independently some of the younger ones struggled. Obviously these are just personal views and others many disagree. I understand. The only person to really answer this is you and your DD, good luck I am finding it hard. Especially as my eldest has a Nov birthday so was nearly 19 when she went but my younger DD will only be 16 next July. PS Because of the mixed age groups in the MT 1st year the under 18's found it hard with the social life of their fellow MT 1st yrs but over 18's if that makes sense. Edited September 19, 2017 by balletbean Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taxi4ballet Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 (edited) I'd get all the applications collated and ready if I were you!!! You probably need a giant piece of paper, and calendar and a spreadsheet, with all the requirements/photos/solos/songs etc, and find out when the closing dates are. If she applies for too many places, at least she can change her mind and not audition ... or go to as many auditions as possible, they are all a good experience, and she'll learn a lot about what she really wants (and what she doesn't). If she doesn't apply in time she won't be able to change her mind after the event. Once the auditions are done, she (and you) will have a good idea of what direction to go in, based on where any offers come from. Even then, she doesn't have to accept, she can postpone the decision until 18. Edited September 19, 2017 by taxi4ballet 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Picturesinthefirelight Posted September 19, 2017 Author Share Posted September 19, 2017 1 hour ago, balletbean said: Hi, I also have a DD in yr 11 (ballet focused) and a older DD (now 22) having gone down the MT route. From my experience along with my eldest, If pursing an MT career training path. Stay and do A levels. She doesn't seem interested in going to any local 6th form college open days or applying anywhere though she has expressed interest in a level 3 btec. She's done nothing about it though. I phoned them & asked them to send info. I can't actually fill in the forms as they ask questions only she can answer such as why she wants to apply etc. I printed 1 set of forms off but it's somewhere that has no funding so would require a minor miracle. I asked her if she wants to attend an open day for another place but she said no, she's changed her mind about applying there. Kids! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canary Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 It's finding a balance - her wanting it enough to do the research and get pro active and you supporting her, which I know you do I laughed out loud recently on here when a mum was clearly filling in her daughters application forms for her and was wondering how to answer do I want to go to ENB as it's in London my dd said no, as for her it meant a horrible tube journey But of course I thought its location as being positive as it would mean no rent to pay may be the open days might inspire her good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pixiewoo Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 not dance related, but my ( not dancing ) DS is yr 11 and has to make decisions about next year ... in fact, we are just off to a school 'post 16 opportunities' evening ... he can't decide and left to his own devices, will just follow the herd to local 6th form college that does not offer A levels or any courses in anything he is actually interested in! I can see I will be collecting application forms/advice. DD on the other hand ... is only in yr 8, but has already decided what GCSEs she wants to do, and ideally where she wants to go to do A levels/Btec ... She doesn't want to look at vocational colleges until 18 plus, and then who knows! I'm already feeling a bit panicky about it! Good Luck Pictures! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Picturesinthefirelight Posted September 19, 2017 Author Share Posted September 19, 2017 Pixie - in year 8 dd had decided just that! It's all changed now. One big big thing that happened was that her brother was terribly unhappy & his sen unsupported at the school/6th form she originally planned to come back to before applying post 18, to the extent that we were asked to 'voluntarily' remove him. I can also understand that by the time she gets back home each night at around 7.45pm, does her homework, she doesn't feel like tackling applications but just wants to go to bed as she has to leave the next morning at 7am. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RosaMac Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 Why don't you wait until October half term and sit down with her and do them together? She's probably too tired to think about it on an evening. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mummy twinkle toes Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 Does she really want to pursue performing arts or might it be she would like to try something else? It can be difficult when they are set on a career and then change their minds. DS now yr 10 and does not know at all. It varies from becoming an actor to working in genetics.Dd1 very focused about ballet (yr8) but the other day was talking about becoming a lawyer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pixiewoo Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 2 hours ago, Picturesinthefirelight said: Pixie - in year 8 dd had decided just that! It's all changed now. One big big thing that happened was that her brother was terribly unhappy & his sen unsupported at the school/6th form she originally planned to come back to before applying post 18, to the extent that we were asked to 'voluntarily' remove him. I can also understand that by the time she gets back home each night at around 7.45pm, does her homework, she doesn't feel like tackling applications but just wants to go to bed as she has to leave the next morning at 7am. Oh goodness, that makes it hard. And like other posters have said, she is probably too tired to think about it. Good luck x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Picturesinthefirelight Posted September 19, 2017 Author Share Posted September 19, 2017 46 minutes ago, Mummy twinkle toes said: Does she really want to pursue performing arts or might it be she would like to try something else? It can be difficult when they are set on a career and then change their minds. DS now yr 10 and does not know at all. It varies from becoming an actor to working in genetics.Dd1 very focused about ballet (yr8) but the other day was talking about becoming a lawyer. Well she's gone from definately wanting to do academic a levels alongside a diploma or at a normal school/6th form for 2 years to A levels not being essential & not wanting to apply for anything non vocational so I can only assume it's still what she wants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahw Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 Pictures I think they have a lot on their mind this year and it's a bit overwhelming. It's a bit easier for me as dd is sure what she wants - I'm trying to do as much as I can in terms of getting forms, doing the spreadsheet, filling in the standard bits on the form. As someone else has said you can't do things past the closing date so I would try to keep as many options open as possible and do as much leg work as you can. It is difficult for your dd due to the commute. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
All4dancers Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 I Agree with Sarahw y11 is such a tough year with so much to think about. I would recommend giving lots of support- maybe take her out at the weekend, just you and her and offer your services as her PA! In hindsight, I wish I had offered a lot more advice to my dd last year instead of repeatedly telling her it was entirely her decision. During a recent conversation I was surprised to learn that she didn't realise that I had never thought the school she chose was right for her. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Picturesinthefirelight Posted September 19, 2017 Author Share Posted September 19, 2017 20 minutes ago, sarahw said: Pictures I think they have a lot on their mind this year and it's a bit overwhelming. It's a bit easier for me as dd is sure what she wants I think that's another issue. There is a school she really likes the look of - but they have no funding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Picturesinthefirelight Posted September 19, 2017 Author Share Posted September 19, 2017 (edited) 34 minutes ago, All4dancers said: I Agree with Sarahw y11 is such a tough year with so much to think about. I would recommend giving lots of support- maybe take her out at the weekend, just you and her and offer your services as her PA! In hindsight, I wish I had offered a lot more advice to my dd last year instead of repeatedly telling her it was entirely her decision. During a recent conversation I was surprised to learn that she didn't realise that I had never thought the school she chose was right for her. I think I remember talking to you at a workshop & you saying you were in half a mind to ask if your Dd could audition at the school she's finally ended up at (after initially turning it down) i did speak to her tonight & she did mention a couple of places that I really don't think would suit her (& don't have the best reputations) I've also contacted our local btec provider (it's run by a reputable dance school in collaboration with a college) & asked them to send her the application forms as I do think if she applies at 18 she'll have more options. I guess I just don't want to be too pushy or helicoptery. Edited September 19, 2017 by Picturesinthefirelight 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mummy twinkle toes Posted September 20, 2017 Share Posted September 20, 2017 Good luck Pictures to you and dd. The Btec sounds like a good option and then she can apply when she is 18. It will also give her a chance to visit schools and see what they can offer and whether they will suit. Is it MT she is after? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen Posted September 20, 2017 Share Posted September 20, 2017 I think it is worth applying for auditions anywhere that might be a firm possibility (within your agreed budget/time available to travel) and use them to see what you and dd feel about places. This was a huge eye opener for dd last year and places that had been high on her list fell away and those nearer the bottom moved up. The atmosphere, audition class and the way places presented their ethos completely influenced dd's decision along with the details of what the dance and academic c options looked like. You can always turn an offer down, but if you've missed the opportunity, it's harder to go back. Going to an audition as a 'finding out experience' takes some of the pressure off too. Good luck! 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Picturesinthefirelight Posted September 20, 2017 Author Share Posted September 20, 2017 5 minutes ago, Karen said: I think it is worth applying for auditions anywhere that might be a firm possibility (within your agreed budget/time available to travel) and use them to see what you and dd feel about places. This was a huge eye opener for dd last year and places that had been high on her list fell away and those nearer the bottom moved up. The atmosphere, audition class and the way places presented their ethos completely influenced dd's decision along with the details of what the dance and academic c options looked like. Yes, we have experienced this to a certain extent with summer schools. She loved the summer school she went on last year but has been put off the actual college by things like class & intake size etc. The summer school she went on this year knocked a previously very high up on the list place off the list off completely. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kcoom75 Posted September 20, 2017 Share Posted September 20, 2017 I must admit, i did a lot of the leg work for both my DD's as I didn't want them to miss out. They have since realised this and are grateful for it. I would definitely go to as many open days as you can as these are what seemed to inspire my girls to put the effort in. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2dancersmum Posted September 20, 2017 Share Posted September 20, 2017 I would echo the advice to do a lot of the research and legwork yourself, collating forms and requirements for different colleges. I found my DD in year 11, whilst clear in her ambitions, just had too much pressure on her and demands on her time from all directions. I know since your DD is already at vocational school, her situation is different to my DDs but she still has all those pressures on her and arriving home late and tired is not the best time for her to start doing things. I would suggest trying to get some background work done for her and some forms ready to go so that you can tackle it at half term. Good luck, year 11 is a tough one. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Picturesinthefirelight Posted September 20, 2017 Author Share Posted September 20, 2017 Everyone has been really helpful. I'd just had this feeling I was being too pushy, making choices for her (local friends are of the attitude I'll let them decide/apply but then again they are pretty much only choosing between staying on at school 6th form vs local FE college. Glad to know its normal to be "doing the legwork" 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahw Posted September 20, 2017 Share Posted September 20, 2017 Pictures you are definitely not being pushy. There is just too much for a 15yo to do without lots of help. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
balletbean Posted September 21, 2017 Share Posted September 21, 2017 On 9/19/2017 at 18:58, Picturesinthefirelight said: She doesn't seem interested in going to any local 6th form college open days or applying anywhere though she has expressed interest in a level 3 btec. She's done nothing about it though. I phoned them & asked them to send info. I can't actually fill in the forms as they ask questions only she can answer such as why she wants to apply etc. I printed 1 set of forms off but it's somewhere that has no funding so would require a minor miracle. I asked her if she wants to attend an open day for another place but she said no, she's changed her mind about applying there. Kids! OMGoodness, That is a hard one. I can certainly sympathize with you, rather than do all the research may I suggest having a conversation just purely on time lines. As in, explain the time limits on applicants. Just applying doesn't force anyone to then audition or even accept an offer of a place if one is made after auditioning. Empathize, what she can''t do is apply next spring when she does make a decision. Maybe she doesn't quite understand there is a time frame but under no pressure to say yes. That is one decision that can wait. Good Luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 21, 2017 Share Posted September 21, 2017 21 hours ago, Picturesinthefirelight said: Everyone has been really helpful. I'd just had this feeling I was being too pushy, making choices for her (local friends are of the attitude I'll let them decide/apply but then again they are pretty much only choosing between staying on at school 6th form vs local FE college. Glad to know its normal to be "doing the legwork" Yup. That was me last year. Sending empathy and virtual Prosecco to you. Its really tough for 15/6 years to navigate all the websites application forms etc etc Perhaps it would help to have a good long talk with your dd - easier said than done - mine were always done in the car and doesn't sound like that's an option for you if she is already away from home . At least she appears to be clear on what she doesn't want to do - i.e. apply to a regular 6th form to do A levels. How does she feel about staying at her present school where she gets an automatic audition (and presumably % transfer into upper school is a known quantity)? Otherwise I agree with other posters - the time window is closing, so eventually, not putting an application in for a school becomes its own decision. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billyelliott Posted September 21, 2017 Share Posted September 21, 2017 I had to do a fair bit of pushing over the end of the summer holidays as it was too difficult for my DS to find all the information needed on the websites but together we have made a sort of spreadsheet! However it is proving difficult to get a decision as to which auditions he would like to go for as he keeps changing his mind! I think it is too important to just leave it up to him - with the deadlines for various options getting closer and also I need to know which dates I should keep free for assisting with transport- I could do without a last minute “ oh mum I need to get to such and such and so and so “😬 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huddsballetmum Posted September 22, 2017 Share Posted September 22, 2017 I asked my DD to wait until after 6th form to apply for anything and, as she wanted to go down the MT/contemporary route, she agreed and went off to 6th Form to study A levels, even though her heart was set on being a dancer. Two years later on we are trawling round universities that have a great law course and her focus is now solely on becoming a criminal lawyer. Universities with a great extracurricular dance programme are coming up top of the shop but it's still law first and dance second which I never thought I would see happen. What changed her mind? I have no idea, but something triggered a passion greater than dance. I will support her in whatever decision she makes, even if it means walking round 15 campus accommodation buildings at every university and ranking them out of 10!! I think children are exactly that, children, and sometimes they need the time to grow up and make adult decisions. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahw Posted September 22, 2017 Share Posted September 22, 2017 (edited) I'm jealous Huddsballetmum!! A much easier to deal with career choice! ! Edited September 22, 2017 by sarahw 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 22, 2017 Share Posted September 22, 2017 5 hours ago, Huddsballetmum said: I think children are exactly that, children, and sometimes they need the time to grow up and make adult decisions. You are so right Huddsballetmum, and that's what makes classical dance such a challenge because if you are going to do it at all, you have to do it young (re all those 15 and 16 year old Genee finalists). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belleballerina Posted September 22, 2017 Share Posted September 22, 2017 Not really ballet but my dd will be auditioning for college for september 2018 entry.. After doing open days last year as well as various summer/easter/ courses she has picked 6 - Laine, Performers, Bird, Urdang, Millenium, London Studio Centre and possibly Italia Conti and Bodyworks. She is currently doing an Extended Level 3 Btec in Performing Arts at her local college which has really bought her out of her comfort zone is she is ballet focused and also dancing at her local dance school every evening until 9.30 and all day Saturday so her free time is very limited. I have spent hours trawling through all the college websites as they all seem to require different things, different photos, some are online and they arern't straightforward if you aren't computer literate as you have to download/upload various forms, references, personal statements. and some require separate UCAS applications Basically she told me her choices and I have collated all the information needed and it is a lot! She just would never have the time to do it all. We are planning to sit down at half term and get the ball rolling together filling out application forms etc but as she as she won a free Urdang Pre-Audtion course place she will be out everyday there - I imagine it's going to be a challenging 6 month or so! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 You have a very lucky dd Belleballerina! How dedicated you are. Yes its a challenging, exhausting and expensive experience - best of luck to you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flora Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 Year 11 is such a tough year and especially for those who have, or want to have, a pure classical focus. Our DD had two bitter disappointments last year getting RBS and ENBS finals but ultimately places at neither. When the ENBS finals results came out we were in a public place and DD lost it to such an extent I was worried someone among the many staring would call Childline .. ! Anyway, she came out the other side and is now training overseas and hoping to do YAGP. To be honest she is getting better training and more personal attention than she would ever have had access to in the UK. It has all come with a staggering price tag though. DD has two parents working their socks off to pay for it all. At least she is happy and massively grateful... 13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
balletbean Posted September 24, 2017 Share Posted September 24, 2017 22 hours ago, Flora said: Anyway, she came out the other side and is now training overseas and hoping to do YAGP. To be honest she is getting better training and more personal attention than she would ever have had access to in the UK. It has all come with a staggering price tag though. DD has two parents working their socks off to pay for it all. At least she is happy and massively grateful... I am very interested to know of overseas vocational schools, we are considering all options. My DD is open to any suggestions/recommendations 'as long as they speak English' was her reply! She doesn't think her GCSE German would be enough for John Cranko Academy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amum/Cathy Posted September 25, 2017 Share Posted September 25, 2017 (edited) Pictures I feel for you trying to cram applications, open days and auditions into year 11. Dd has just finished year 11 and it was much worse than when ds did it, because the new GCSEs piled extra stress on teachers and pupils. It was a very difficult year for dd and I was on the receiving end of lots of teenage shouting. As far as I can tell, all her friends were emotional wrecks by the summer. You might have to anticipate this. The more you can organise, unobtrusively, for your dd, the better, I would say. The worst of the year is from Feb half term onwards. Best of luck to your dd whatever she choses. Cathy/aka Hecouldshine Edited September 25, 2017 by amum/Cathy Add extra detail 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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