Homesickness and loneliness in second year vocational school

[Guest]

I've just started my second year at vocational school(post 16) and over the past week have been feeling very homesick and lonely. I feel like I have nobody to talk to, like there's a sort of distance between me and my friends and I can't seem to figure out why. I just feel very isolated. I was out of dance for 6 months with an injury and this week has been difficult going back to class and fully realising the difference in ability between me and the rest of the class. I just don't know what to do. I had none of these feelings in first year at all, even when I wasn't dancing or when I was ill so in my head it seems so silly to have them now. When my mum or grandparents phone I try my best to sound upbeat because I don't want to worry them. Just don't know what to do for the best:( apologies for the long and rambling post

Edited September 11, 2016 by Guest

[sarahw]

Oh Ana you've had a very difficult time, I'll PM you x

[balletbean]

Oh Anaballerina, I am so sorry to read your very sad post. I don't know which school you are at but may I suggest in the morning contacting a staff member that you trust and like to talk to about your concerns and sadness. You will not be alone and please don't think that you have to do this all by yourself. The school should have the resources and training to help you through this time.

 

Do you have a housemate that you know and trust to talk to tonight? If not, make yourself a warm drink, plug in some music you like and try to sleep. 

 

until you can speak to someone in the morning. 

 

Really there is nothing too bad that can't be sorted by talking to someone.  Wish you well  take care 

Edited September 11, 2016 by balletbean

[Guest]

Thank you both for your kind replies. Reading back now I've probably made it sound a lot worse than it is. I'm loving classes just feeling a bit alone on the weekend and evenings but I'm sure it'll pass once everyone gets back into the swing of classes x

Edited September 11, 2016 by Guest

[orchidblue]

Messaged you. x

[balletbean]

Anaballerina, there is absolutely nothing to apologise for. Just so pleased that our simple words have brought you some comfort at this time. 

 

Take care and try and get some sleep. 

 

Here if you ever need another chat. 

 

(Mum to a DD who has been through it and just graduated this July)

[aileen]

Yes, definitely speak to someone in the pastoral team tomorrow morning. I'm sure that s/he will be very sympathetic. I don't know your particular circumstances, and so perhaps it's not appropriate for you to discuss your feelings with your mother / grandparents, but if you were my daughter I'd want to know if you were unhappy. However, you may have sound reasons for not wanting to share your troubles with your family.

[Lisa O`Brien]

So sorry to hear you are feeling a bit isolated anaballerina. At least you are enjoying your classes, which is a good sign. I would just give yourself a bit of time to ease back into the swing of things. I think we all expect everything to click in to place really quickly sometimes, and often this just isn't the case. Have a wee chat with a couple of people and try and just make a bit of casual talk. They will probably appreciate it .

[joyofdance]

I agree with Aileen, Anna, Also is there anything you can get involved with in the evenings and weekends? It might help to be busy a couple of nights a week. When my son first went to uni (Last yr) he felt really displaced and lonely at first. He didnt have anything in common with the people that shared his block of flats. It was hard for him but he went to groups/meetings etc (I know its different at uni as there is quite a lot of that stuff) any way it really helped and he has now met some great friends and having a lovely time. Do please talk to a member of the pastoral team, that is what they are there for and they can be really helpful. Take care xxx

[alison]

I'd agree: find a supportive member of staff to talk to - I can understand that it would be disconcerting to be back at school under the circumstances you describe.

[SBallerina]

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that AnaBallerina. I am always ready to chat with you if you would like to talk ballet with someone outside school. I believe we're friends on Facebook, so don't hesitate to message me or PM. Xx

[Happymum]

Hi Ana, thank you for sharing your feelings with us. I hope just writing it down helps (it does help me). I'll agree with others that talking to somebody else will be a good idea. Also maybe just thinking it through? Asking yourself why you feel like this? Is it harder then last year because it's not that new and exciting like it was when you started? Is it because you know now that you might get injured anytime and be out of dancing for several months? Is it because you just had a lovely summer with your family and friends and you simply miss them? Whatever the reason - it's normal to feel a bit down, homesick, isolated and I think it's good to allow yourself to feel like this. Don't feel bad or guilty about it, the feelings are normal, just talk about it to somebody. You are a beautiful dancer (I was lucky to see you dancing once!) and you'll soon get your strength back - give yourself more time, don't compare yourself to other dancers, (at least not straight away after having 6 months off).

Sending you lots of warm wishes! Take care.

[dramascientist]

Anaballerina I would also reccommend speaking with someone on staff just to let them know how you are feeling so they will look out for you and check in with you every now and again to check how things are going. I would definitely share with somebody because if you don't there is a tendency to bottle things up and this can lead to depression and other problems.

 

Take care of yourself

DRSC

[Guest]

Thank you so much everyone for all your replies and pm's. I definitely feel better after writing it all down and reading through your messages xx

[Harwel]

Great advice above ana, weekends always seem worse if you're feeling lonely. I 'm sure your friends just don't realise how hard it is for you when you've had a nasty injury, it effects everything, especially your confidence, outside of dance aswel as within dance. Hope you make the time to speak to someone on the pastoral team as a matter of urgency today. Everyone is so positive about your school that I'm sure it will be ok.

[balletbean]

Harwel,

 

I totally agree, when my daughter was in her 1st year the college housed her with other 1st yr students. Which we all thought was a great idea. All in it together type thing. However they all went home at the weekend, not coming from the UK and having that facility my DD was left home alone at the weekends. 2nd yr she organised her own accommodation and ensured she shared with mixed years but with a few foreign students, who also couldn't go home. Tiredness just exaggerated the feelings and being away from home, family and friends. She spoke to all the right people and received the support she needed and made it. As you said speaking to family may just actually make things even more emotional

 

Just graduated from MT college back in July.  It's hard and totally felt for Ana last night.  So pleased a new day has shed light and focus on her situation for her.  

[porthesia]

Can't add to the excellent advice given here just wanted to send you a hug

[Guest]

Thank you everyone????????

[drdance]

Sending you hugs Ana. I think I know where you're at school and I'm not entirely sure what support is in place in terms of pastoral staff/help with anxiety, depression etc especially where injury/return to dance is involved. One transition I found really tricky when at vocational school was evenings as before going away I was always busy in the evenings at dancing! Once I started dancing during the day, I didn't know what to do with my evenings (weekends were even worse) and I wasn't great at making friends so I got quite down as it seemed like I didn't fit in and as though everyone else was happy and having fun. I got a job to keep myself busy at weekends!

 

I hope you're feeling a bit brighter. If you ever want to talk, rant, offload, ask advice etc please do PM me. Xxx

[Interested Parent]

Hi Anaballerina. Talk to your ballet friends around you. Ask them how they feel. You will be surprised how much you have in common with the homesickness worries and how many other students will be feeling this too. My DD did this last year and it helped enormously knowing she wasn't the only one.