Living at The Hammond

[balletmum20]

Can someone please clear something up for me:

In the hammonds parents handbook, it clearly says that your son or daughter can not audition for anywhere else, and clearly says you can not do any competitions or any other classes, - so how can some children at Hammond do lots and lots of outside of school activities, attend other dance schools at the weekend and in the evening and compete in well known competitions, - and also audition year after year at the top schools, I'm a bit confused, or am I just missing something? Or am I just to good following the rules not letting my child do anything else! Please does anyone know?

[Karen]

You are right Balletmum20 that this is what the handbook states and you are also right that many do not adhere to the statement. I have often wondered why it is not picked up and addressed by school. My dd (and some other students) were invited by school to enter the RAD Phyllis Bedelles bursary competition last year and the school also support year 11 students to enter Janet Cram awards, but I think permission has to be given fur students to attend anything else. I feel that if the policy is there, it should be adhered to. It's possibly difficult to pick up if someone goes to a one off audition but regular competitions and classses should be easy to spot. I'm not clear as to why it does not appear to be followed through.

[balletmum20]

Thanks Karen, I'm not alone in my thoughts, I know of a few girls and boys doing lots out of school, - and it just annoys me to know why they are aloud to do it and confuses me to why nothing is done, - and it's not as though it is hidden as it's all over social media, starting to feel that the ones who are following the rules are now at a disadvantage x

[sarahw]

Totally agree.

[sarahw]

And it's very hard to justify this situation to your child when they see friends on Instagram at festivals etc

[balletmum20]

Sarahw, yes it is as my dd just don't understand it, and thinks it's my rules, especially when her friends are doing so much out of school, and she had a major meltdown concerning her flexibility, - she thinks she is so bad, but I'm trying to explain to her other students are over stretching to the extreme in out of school classes which makes her look not flexible xx I have a concerned dd xx

[Legseleven]

What is the school's reaction when you ask them? If you haven't asked them, then I would do so. You could ask specifically whether the relevant section of the school rules is now obsolete and infer that your DD would like to take out of school classes and compete, hence your wish to check the school's position. I wouldn't mention any names but I would say that other students have been participating in such out-of-school activities and that you assume therefore that the rules have changed.

 

I would also tell them that your DD feels that she needs to work on flexibility (or anything else) and would like recommendations for classes and exercises she could attend/practise to assist her.

[Picturesinthefirelight]

post edited as my username is too we'll known in real life.

Edited November 21, 2016 by Picturesinthefirelight

[angel]

The school, if asked, give the response that these things are not allowed, that they are aware but that they cannot go into details regarding any individual students.

 

A senior member of staff at the school told me last year that they were reviewing the school's policy to allow for a little more flexibility but this has not happened yet.

 

I was told in no uncertain terms that competitions such as BGT etc were not allowed.  This was after several students had taken part.  The answer?  If you can afford full fees, go for it??

[angel]

Then hypothetically your child may get ostracised by classmates cause mum is a grass & other parents hypothetically may accuse you of stalking children on social media.

I think you may have to state your interest here PITF?

Edited November 21, 2016 by angel

[Picturesinthefirelight]

X

Edited November 21, 2016 by Picturesinthefirelight

[angel]

Ok, it could be misconstrued as a way of persuading someone that it is better to put up and shut up just in case their child is bullied.  Who would tell?

[Legseleven]

I would tell the school that I categorically did not want my name or my child's name repeated to anyone because I was aware of that risk. I would actually add that if my name or my child's name was nevertheless released against my express wishes, then I and my legal adviser would be looking very carefully at the school's duty of care towards my child, as set out in the parent-school agreement I assume is in place, especially as my child should not be put in a position where she suffered in any way because I, as her parent, had the 'temerity' to ask whether the school enforced the rule in question.

 

I would reiterate that I was merely asking for confirmation as to whether my child could in fact attend out-of-school activities as she felt that she needed to improve her flexibility. I would also ask whether the school agreed that she needed to improve her flexibility and could offer her assistance in so doing.

 

If parents don't ask the school why they seem to ignore their own rules and whether their child may also ignore those same rules, especially when she wants to do so to improve flexibility rather than to compete, then things won't change.

Edited November 21, 2016 by Legseleven

[angel]

I used to have this idealistic view on vocational schools.  That things would be fair.  Ah the days 

[Picturesinthefirelight]

To bring things back on track - I've always applied for written permission for things like summer schools & one off workshops. Dd got permission to take part in a 1 day SYB workshop during half term for example but I had to promise that it would not lead to any performances with them.

 

I personally feel that dd needs Saturday afternoons & Sunday's to rest & do homework.

[Picturesinthefirelight]

I've removed my previous post - put up & shut up isn't what I'd reccomend to anyone - but I'm too identifiable.

[Pups_mum]

Looking at this from the other side of the fence so to speak, when my DD was doing festivals with her local dance school she came across several girls from a variety of vocational schools who were competing regularly.(Without the permission of their schools I suspect.) DD's attitude was that she felt sorry for them. She felt that they were under huge pressure, both physically, as they never got a rest,and mentally because they were always expected to win.

I can understand the frustration of feeling that the rules are bent for some children and not others, but I suspect that those who are following the rules are doing their children more favours than those who don't.

[sarahw]

I agree pups_mum about the risk of over working. However there is no differentiation between occasional and regular so children obeying the rules are sometimes refused permission to attend one offs when they know others are regularly attending other places.

 

When raised with school they say they are dealing with it when they know about it. Maybe they don't use social media?

[Dancing2003]

When my dd started in yr7 she had qualified a number of solos for the finals of the all England, I wrote and asked for permission for her to finish that year, which permission was given. I always email to ask for permission for dd to attend workshops or summer schools and NYB during school hols. It is hard as if they board and are on a MDS you do feel more restrictive on what you can and can't do. My dd wanted to audition last year at another school and again emailed the school as I want to be honest and upfront but had an unpleasant phone call which upset me and my dd, we did go for the audition as my dd wanted to go, but we both felt very stressed about it all at the time. balletmum20 try not worry, assessments are coming up so she is probably feeling nervous and they are working hard with Oliver as well, but contact the school and ask if you can speak to her dance teachers

[sarahw]

Angel what is BGT?

[angel]

Angel what is BGT?

 

  Sorry, not obvious on here.  Britain's got Talent

[Ballet4Boyz]

Wow ..... I'm surprised the DC attending Hammond or any other vocational school would have the energy to attend extra classes at weekends or evenings. I'm presuming this would be day students rather than boarders as boarders wouldn't have opportunity to do extra classes even if they wanted to. My DS is a boarder and I find he really needs his evenings/Sat afternoon/Sunday's and exeats to simply rest, re-charge and do his homework.

I think Summer/Easter schools with reputable teachers and permission from the vocational school in question is another matter entirely..... if the DC is keen to get some extra tuition over the longer holidays.

I wonder if the DC attending vocational school & doing extra evening classes/festivals/competitions etc etc are more in danger of injury or burnout ??

[sarahw]

BGT -crumbs yes I'd forgotten about that!

Edited November 21, 2016 by sarahw

[Ballet4Boyz]

......just to follow on ..... my DS is an MDS student - does this mean they are less likely to grant permission for a summer school ?? In other words, does the school dictate more on the dancing lives of MDS students compared to full fee paying students ??

[Picturesinthefirelight]

I've never known reputable summer schools to be refused.

[Ballet4Boyz]

That's good to know pictures, as although I have every intention of sticking to school rules & asking for permission etc I think to not be able to do any form of reputable dance training over the long Summer holiday - would make returning to school in September very hard going !!

[balletmum20]

Thanks everyone, to me it seems one rule for one and another rule for someone else, 2 children who do outside activities are both on mds!

I think for or dc it's quite a stressful time with Oliver, exams and assessments and with pressure from children who are clearly doing extra classes to make them better than other children is not needed when there at vocational school, ballet4boyz you are so right my dd also needs the rest in the evening and in Sunday's - I'm going to contact the school to clarify what we can and cannot do as my dd would also like to do a summer school as it's a long break, - and I don't want to be the one breaking the rules!

[angel]

 balletmum20, you seem surprised that the DC on mds are attending other classes.  They are no less competitive/driven/in need of extra reassurance than other students without it.  

 

More classes does not always = better.

 

If you ask to do a recognised Summer/Easter school your DC will have permission?

[straceydor]

If your child is assessed out and you haven't applied else where then you are stuck without a school. Surely it is prudent to have a b plan?

[BalletAims]

I need some advise please. My DD is a boarder but is very upset as some for her things have gone missing. I don't know if it's just a joke but it's upsetting my DD as it's her personal items which were in her wardrobe / drawers.

I've informed the staff but these items haven't been returned.

I really don't know what to do next.

[balletmum20]

Balletaims that's awful, I know there have been issues at school, where the year 7s have had there bags emptied, but did not think there were issues at the house, what year is you did in?

[BalletAims]

Hi balletmum20 she's year 7 I've just spoken to my DD she's still very upset, which I am. The staff have spoken to everyone but still the items haven't turned up. It started Friday with her perfume going missing and tonight her MP3.

[angel]

If your child is assessed out and you haven't applied else where then you are stuck without a school. Surely it is prudent to have a b plan?

 

You are not allowed to audition elsewhere.  However, DC do. Expect a very stern letter and the threat of removal of your mds/bursary if you have one.  They may ask for a reference, before any offers are made and have a very good working relationship, being old school/company friends