Lou78 Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 It's been a while since I posted but need some advice. My DD is a RBS JA and has been since Y4 . She is in her last year with them . The problem is not with this as she thoroughly enjoys her time there , it's her local dance school . She does festivals which she loves and always has excellent results , the last she won 4 in a row on the same day. However even though she has moved into grade 5 aged just 10 and throughout all her exams has always gained in the 90's her teacher barely gives her any praise at all - this upsets her so much as she works extremely hard it's incredably frustrating as my DD this year will be going through the audition process for vocational school and I don't feel she is being supported at all by her dance school she is just quite often overlooked and they even forget which classes she is in even though she never misses any class and hasn't done for probably 5 years. So what do I do ? The teacher in question is also the principal of the school and I had a right job getting her to agree that my DD should audition for vocational school , she doesn't agree with them going away at 11 . I haven't told her about some auditions as the negativity is pretty unbearable . Countless times I have tried to speak to her about this but she brushes it off and says she's too busy to speak . I'm really concerned about this I know there are other pupils in the school that need attention too but my DD is the only RBS JA and was the first one to get in after about 20 or so years from their school though she is poorly treated and made to feel inadequate , a little bit of credit wouldn't hurt I feel . 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invisiblecircus Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 What about changing schools if this one isn't working out? I understand that the timing isn't ideal with auditions for vocational school coming up but it's not going to help your DD being in such a negative environment and she needs to feel confident going into vocational auditions. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tulip Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Definitely move schools. There must be other very good schools by where you live. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
balletmum20 Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 I am in exactly the same position, our teacher use to be lovely until my daughter started to do other things like associated programs and stepping on the audition rollercoaster, I have now decided to move schools.cause I or my daughter can not and will not take it anymore, I really know how you feel. - and yes it's a hard decision but I think it's the right one!! Good luck x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Siconne50 Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 I am in exactly the same position, our teacher use to be lovely until my daughter started to do other things like associated programs and stepping on the audition rollercoaster, I have now decided to move schools.cause I or my daughter can not and will not take it anymore, I really know how you feel. - and yes it's a hard decision but I think it's the right one!! Good luck x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Siconne50 Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Hi, if I was you I'd change school, had similar issues with my dd when she was a RBS JA her local school were not very encouraging & I felt she should have been offered extra lessons & private lessons to prepare for vocational school auditions at 11. Looking back now although dd is at a top vocational school I wish I'd changed schools before the auditions! I realise local schools have lots of other pupils to look after but I agree with you a bit of encouragement is crucial in yr 6! Just a word of caution though if your dd is fortunate to get a place at vocational school they are rarely given lots of praise and are given corrections more often especially in the early days 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legseleven Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 If it were me, I would also be looking to change schools. Feeling that her teachers are overlooking her is not the best way to begin her auditions year! Perhaps her JA teacher can recommend a different teacher - or other JA parents? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lou78 Posted October 1, 2015 Author Share Posted October 1, 2015 Thanks all for the advice I am looking at other dancing schools although it's difficult due to the location of where we live which is away from the centre . She is the sort of person to not want to make a fuss including me making one too , I think she is outgrowing this local school with how she has whisked through her grades so whatever happens after the auditions I think in the end I will move her away to enhance her training better elsewhere . She is so lucky to have her JA teacher as I believe its her hard work and dedication which has really developed her technique as it's very strong now and it must be a bit off putting for everyone else in her class - she dances with people who are 14 and 15 years of age due to the grade she is on , I have no conplaints with them as they are so nice to her . I do wonder though if there has been a bit of jealousy from the other mums and that's why the teacher is behaving the way she is ? We will see what happens with the auditions she keeps saying if there's a miracle and I get a place - bless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YellowCar Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 I would definitely move schools. Surely most schools would be so proud to think one of their pupils was an RBS JA, that's an achievement in itself let alone be good enough to be auditioning for vocational school and would help all they could. Also, you'd think the teachers would feel proud to take some of the credit themselves for helping them achieve such a high standard of ballet in the first place. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vonrothbart Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 I would definately move schools, no JA's for 20 years? My GDD's teacher is just the opposite, although she openly admits she doesn't want her to leave for vocational school, she gives her all the help she can. I would be careful regarding a 10 year old dancing with 14 and 15 year olds though, they will probably be advanced 1 and 2, which is a big jump from grade 5. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cherry Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 I sympathise totally. My advice is to go with changing schools, get onto the vocational roller coaster, and don't look back. That's what I did with my DD, and one year on, she's now thoroughly enjoying her new life at vocational school, 'living the dream'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
porthesia Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 I'm sorry but your post made me really angry. Anyone who is to busy to discuss a pupil is not worthy of continuing to teach that pupil. I really, really hope that you find a teacher who is worthy of teaching your daughter and I wish you and your daughter every success for the future. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taxi4ballet Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 I would be careful regarding a 10 year old dancing with 14 and 15 year olds though, they will probably be advanced 1 and 2, which is a big jump from grade 5. Lou78, re the 14/15 year olds in your dd's class - is this the grade 5 class? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Autumn days Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 I would definately move schools, no JA's for 20 years? My GDD's teacher is just the opposite, although she openly admits she doesn't want her to leave for vocational school, she gives her all the help she can. I would be careful regarding a 10 year old dancing with 14 and 15 year olds though, they will probably be advanced 1 and 2, which is a big jump from grade 5. I think that you have to be realistic about the fact that many ballet schools train only recreational dancers. In reality, I imagine that the majority of schools have never had a pupil become a JA and most 14 or 15 year olds in them probably will be at around grade 5 or 6. It is very unusual for any student to be in Adv 2 at 15 and, in fact, many schools don't even teach the vocational grades. I think there is a danger on his board of losing sight of what is normal! It does sound as tough the OP's dd is doing really well and I would agree that it is worth looking at other schools. However, if. Isn't possible to move, I would simply grin and bear it for the time being and explain to your dd that the reason the teacher is behaving in such a way isn't acceptable bt is probably because she isn't used to teaching someone with such potential. Help her to rise above it and think again after auditions of she doesn't o away. Good luck! 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lou78 Posted October 1, 2015 Author Share Posted October 1, 2015 Taxi for ballet - yes they are all grade 5 they do the inter classes separately at my DD's school . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anon2 Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 (edited) My dd been at vocational school for a number of years now but in the last couple of years with her local teacher the nearest she got to praise was when she announced to the intermediate class that she had the highest mark the school had ever achieved for a vocational exam when she took her IF. Dd got very disheartened as worked hard and never perceived herself as any better than any of her classmates. When I raised the issue of how she was feeling with the teacher she said she never praised her in class as didn't want her older class mates to get jealous and it should be obvious to her and to me she was talented. Luckily associate and scholars teachers plus pianists were a little more forthcoming in making the right noises occasionally, I wasn't looking for heaps of praise but the occasional acknowledgement that she was working hard, taking on corrections etc. We all need a bit of positive feedback occasionally but it is funny how some teachers can't see the benefit. Local teacher was very anti her auditioning for vocational school too expressing the opinion that local training would be enough until 16, she did however make sure there was an article in all local papers when dd got into lower school. For us moving schools wasn't an option due to rural location and distance to next provider but if it is with you maybe you should consider it. Good luck with the auditions. Edited October 1, 2015 by Jane 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southerndancemum Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 We had 'exactly' that issue. Moved schools earlier this year after seeking independent advice, and DD has really come out of herself. I didn't really realise how quiet the old school was making her until we moved. Do it and don't look back. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taxi4ballet Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 ... her teacher barely gives her any praise at all - this upsets her so much as she works extremely hard... I don't feel she is being supported at all by her dance school... she is just quite often overlooked... I had a right job getting her to agree that my DD should audition for vocational school... I haven't told her about some auditions as the negativity is pretty unbearable... Countless times I have tried to speak to her about this but she brushes it off and says she's too busy to speak... I'm really concerned about this... she is poorly treated and made to feel inadequate... a little bit of credit wouldn't hurt I feel . Lou78, I have picked out these comments from your original post and reading them all together like this - how does your dd's dance school come across? Another vote for moving schools here! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vonrothbart Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 I think that you have to be realistic about the fact that many ballet schools train only recreational dancers. In reality, I imagine that the majority of schools have never had a pupil become a JA and most 14 or 15 year olds in them probably will be at around grade 5 or 6. It is very unusual for any student to be in Adv 2 at 15 and, in fact, many schools don't even teach the vocational grades. I think there is a danger on his board of losing sight of what is normal! It does sound as tough the OP's dd is doing really well and I would agree that it is worth looking at other schools. However, if. Isn't possible to move, I would simply grin and bear it for the time being and explain to your dd that the reason the teacher is behaving in such a way isn't acceptable bt is probably because she isn't used to teaching someone with such potential. Help her to rise above it and think again after auditions of she doesn't o away. Good luck! Yeah you're quite right mum in a spin, I should have thought about the OP before replying, as I compared the school to our local, which could be like chalk and cheese. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dramascientist Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 When my DDs local teacher found out she had auditioned at the national ballet school she called us in and basically to,d us that our DD would not get on well there. I pointed out at the time that she was struggling to cope with normal school and homework and several hours of ballet a day since it was so stressful. She told us that stress was good and thats what it was like in real life (DD was 10 at the time). She was really quite agressive and even if DD hadn't been offered a place at the national ballet school we would have gone elsewhere, being treated in a negative way is never good for anyone, even for us adults. It sound like your DD is talented Lou78 so maybe its hard for the teacher to lose her to a vocational school. Still its not very professional to stop correcting or praising her. Hope things get better, DRSC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cara in NZ Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 (edited) It is very unusual for any student to be in Adv 2 at 15 and, in fact, many schools don't even teach the vocational grades. I think there is a danger on his board of losing sight of what is normal! At our studio it's very normal to do Gr 5 at 10 or 11. My DD just sat IF at 11 and is now starting the Intermediate syllabus. The talented 13-yr-olds have just sat Advanced Foundation, and the aim is to get them to Adv 2 at 15 so they have got to a good level if they want to audition for full-time training at 16. Edited October 3, 2015 by Cara in NZ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irishballetmom Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 My daughter is serious student in a rural school that really has mostly recreational dancers. She did grade 5 at age 12 most of her fellow classmates were 14. She is now doing the highest level class with 18 year olds and teacher is mainly doing Intermediate Foundation for her otherwise the older students had been doing grade 6 and moving on to 7. There really is no reason for many schools to do vocational levels unless they have serious students. The higher levels seem to have to be done as private lessons for the other two more serious girls the teacher has at her other location and I am sure it isn't very cost effective for her, she needs to do the levels the students are suited to take and not all recreational students are going to want the difficulty of the intermediate and advanced vocational exams. I do wish there were more serious students to make the vocational exams more feasible for the teacher, but hopefully my DD will be able to get to a decent level before she is 15 by doing the other the other levels privately. I don't know how it will work out but hopefully she will get there. She has been accepted into a regional youth ballet that does pointe and contemporary so will have a chance to learn there, but that involves a three hour return trip journey so it really just isn't easy for a serious student to get enough training in a rural area, it involves a lot of driving or bus rides lol! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taxi4ballet Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 Some time ago we had cause to search for another dance school for DD and it took us the best part of a year to find what we were looking for. There must be at least 40 dance schools within reasonable travelling distance (30 miles radius and fairly small-town rural), and I checked out as many as I possibly could. Of all those, only 3 offered any classes at all at the higher vocational grades, and I found that schools offering Adv 2 in particular were exceptionally thin on the ground. They are really hard to find. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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