How do you know if your child has what it takes?

[Legseleven]

Cara, that's exactly how I feel - I mustn't have made it clear enough in my post. If a child goes on to dance professionally, that's wonderful - but if they don't then the quality training and opportunities they have had are never, ever wasted. 

 

Children learn so much from quality training in dance/music/sports/academics and a goal to be a professional in the field of training is great to have but not a necessity. My DD has the talent and physical attributes (according to her teachers and other dance professionals who have seen her) to pursue a career in ballet but she doesn't want it and prefers to keep her dancing as a much-loved hobby. She is still dancing at RAD Advanced 1 level and taking 4 classes per week when she can fit them in around her other commitments in music, sports and with schoolwork and we wouldn't dream of telling her that she must give it up because she doesn't want a career in dance. Her ballet adds so much to her life and to her 'skills portfolio' - and she enjoys it!

[sarahw]

I agree festivals are certainly not the be all and end all.

 

However there are benefits - my dd loves them and she certainly is not someone who wins much. They learn to lose gracefully, perform and have fun. Preparing for them is a great discipline. My dd's teacher uses the dances to develop areas that need work as well as showing off best points. The lessons are good non syllabus experience.

 

Crumbs I sound like a real dance mum!

[Fiz]

The saddest post festival comment I ever heard was "I only came third". The poor kid looked half distraught and I said " That's good!" " No, it isn't. Everyone is cross with me!"

[Lisa O`Brien]

That IS sad,Fiz. Poor child. Is enough to put someone off dancing forever.

[Tulip]

That is sad Fiz. I remember years ago my daughter won the Greek section and we were delighted and so was my daughter, to only hear a mum from our dance school say to another mum that she didn't deserve to win as she didn't stretch her toes enough. It was horrible and because my daughter was stood there, it took the shine off. Some mothers are just horrible and can be so competitive and nasty, yet their children are lovely.

[Fiz]

I loved this kid. She was in a very strange set up at home and I thought dance was her one escape. Sadly not, it would seem.

[Lisa O`Brien]

Wow Tulip. What a cow.

[Lisa O`Brien]

Just thinking of competitive mothers at local dance schools. Are the mother of children at vocational school just as bad,or do people not know as you don`t get to see them very often?

[Picturesinthefirelight]

I've found the mothers at vocational school nothing but supportive.

[Tulip]

You don't really get to see them so when you do they seem really nice. I tend to keep myself to myself so to speak, friendly but don't really get involved with banter

[Pups_mum]

Of course most of the mums at festivals are nice and supportive too. But you do get the odd one! It's the same in any pursuit that has a competitive element I think. Certainly I have come across some ultra competitive mums (and Dads!) in my other children's hobbies too. But most are nice enough so I think the best thing is to just ignore the nasty ones and hang out with the nice ones, and I have encouraged my children to do the same. Its a tough lesson to learn as a child, but the fact is that life isn't always fair, and people aren't always kind, and you do have to learn to cope with it. In all honesty, I think it is probably the most valuable thing DD has got from her years of festivals - she is extremely good at treating Kipling's "two imposters just the same".

[Dance*is*life]

I adored festivals ( as you can see from my little photo, which was from a duet I did) and I don't believe that it really bothered me if I won or not - I just loved dancing on stage before an audience. I do think that with the right attitude festivals can be a tremendous learning experience - both for gaining stage craft and for accepting that the world sometimes isn't fair.  I think there is a tendency nowadays for parents to be over protective of their children's feelings and it can make it harder for them to accept criticism. Sometimes it's important to make them understand that they weren't the best or that their performance wasn't as good as usual. It doesn't mean that they can't be the best in the future or that they will always give a mediocre performance, but sometimes it happens and they have to be able to accept that. Of course, it is really sad when parents make snide remarks about other children or don't appreciate their own children's achievements, (my goodness - what's wrong with third place?????) but in my experience kids are harder on themselves than anyone. 

[LinMM]

When it comes to actually being in 1st 2nd 3rd place etc I suspect that in reality there's not much splitting the first three or four.

A bit like athletics where on one day one person may be the winner and on another day a different person! You can usually predict the first three (but not even that always) but the exact order maybe not!!

 

The point of this is to say that sometimes really people are of equal talent but on one day or another they may not dance/run the winning requirement......score/time etc.

 

Occasionally a really exceptional talent comes along and while they are around they may win everything for a while (michael Johnson in 400 metres) but more usually there is not much between the top few!!

Third one day may be first the next!! And vice versa

[spooky]

When my dds did festivals I always gave them my honest opinion (in a nice way) of their performance regardless of whether they were placed or not. I distinctly remember one festival which was renouned for having a very high standard and one of my dds came third which was quite an achivement for the small school we attended at that time. Her teacher was there and was horrified when I congratulated dd but added that I didn't think it was the best I had seen her dance. I explained that I always gave my honest opinion so that praise for a good performance would be meaningful particularily if they weren't placed. The teacher then acknowledged that she had also seen dd dance better although she was very happy with the placing. I hope this attitude helped my dds to just do the best they could and not put too much importance on a placing.

[Dance*is*life]

Yes, I agree with LinMM and of course it's almost always a toss up of who will get the better marks in an exam as well.  There are those who you know will get a high Distinction and then there are those in the middle of the road group in the Merit bracket, whose marks usually differ by one or two points either way.  If you look at the break down - this one got an extra point for character and lost a point for free movement and this one gained two more for music and lost it on technique.  They all end up pretty much with the same mark.  Personally I was happier when they just got a grade and I think they were too - at least they didn't have post mortems agonising over every point!  

 

I once taught identical twins, who not only looked alike, but also danced alike.  For the first year I could not tell them apart - luckily their mother bought them shoes in different shades of pink, so I would glance at their feet before saying their name, although that didn't work for character of course!  Anyway, they invariably got marks one or two points apart, but it happened once that that small difference meant that one twin got Distinction and one Merit, which was quite difficult for them to deal with.  I remember thinking that, in the old days, the examiner would have looked at them and realised that there was nothing to choose between them and would simply have given them the same grading.

Edited December 21, 2014 by Dance*is*life

[Nana Lily]

Going back to the original question though .... Do festival results and/or exam results have any bearing on the original question? Physicality, facility and performance together with hard work and determination surely ido as well a jolly big dose of good luck, a positive outlook and supportive patents/guardians. Festivals and exams whilst indicative are a snapshot in time on the day, as are some of the auditions.

[Dance*is*life]

I think it's also not just whether or not they're talented, but how much they want to dance that really counts.  I have had very talented students with everything going for them, who didn't want to make the additional effort to turn professional.  And then I have had those who surprised all their teachers with what came out of them, because they wanted it so much.  I've also, happily, had those who I thought would make it and they proved me right!  It's a mixture of the right physical attributes, technical facility, dance quality, musicality, dedication and a lot of determination and hard, hard work.  I think that our job as parents and teachers is to support and encourage and give them the best training we can.