CharlieChuck

Sorry, was also meant to add that I did get some good news that Dexter is doing very well and he could be home Monday but literally not even five minutes off the phone from my vet my mom rang me and told me my Aunt has now only been given days. She is just being made comfortable now but even still the thought of not being able to get up to see her is upsetting. I am working all weekend and then after Tuesday it's going to be non stop until Sunday which is when I'm supposed to be going to Glasgow. My mom and my sister have said for me to still go as I really do not do well at funerals but I feel it is only natural for me to be there. I suppose we will see whenever the time actually comes. Thank you all for you lovely words, you have given me far better support than anyone else. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and if you are wondering this is the video stated in the original post http://your-little-cupcake.tumblr.com/post/100022039774/tried-working-on-my-jumps-before-going-home It's very short and since then I have improved, my leg is straighter in my glissades and my pas de chats a little higher. Again thank you all.

Dexter just turned one in September, so he is still quite young. As stated in a previous reply I do have a standing order set up but I just hate having money outstanding. My mom does keep saying for me to sign up fro the credit union so I may actually do that. I am sure you are simply stunning though Lisa

I do not have a clergyman to talk to, I was meant to go to the Doctors today but I just couldn't bear the thought of going and so cancelled it for somebody else who no doubt has something much more severe. I always feel like I'm taking up their time even though I know that is what they are there for. I do have an appointment on the 31st which I have to go to so hopefully then I'll get talking to my doctor. But yet I was talking about my tumblr, I have blocked them but with the way tumblr has changed things is simply goes on your ignored users list and if they're reblogged something from you it still comes up. Thankfully this person hasn't and has so far been quiet but still...The funny thing is though I took your advice and did think of them trying to do a pirouette while I was practicing mine and I managed to pull three almost perfect ones in a row.

Thank you for simply amazing words, thankfully my rent gets paid for me and my arrears are all cleared now. So at least that is one thing off of my mind. I do have a standing order set up with my vets but I just really hate owing money to people.

So normally I go to vent on my blog and it usually helps but this time it's not been helping and I've grown so attached to this forum and the people in it so thought I would post here. Last month I learned one of my favourite Aunt's had three tumors, two on the brain and one in the lung and was given six months to live. Just last week that was brought down to a few a weeks and they don't think she is going to make it till the end of the month. I go away to Glasgow for Halloween and I am terrified she will pass when I go away or am away and I don't want to miss her funeral but at the same time if I'm away I won't be able to come back early at all. I really don't want to sound or be horrible. On top of that I came back from my class on Wednesday after staying at my boyfriends to a very messy house and two misbehaving dogs and had hoped my sister who lives with me would have tidied up. I soon learned she had made an attempt and had baked and so let it go. But then she tells me that our cat hadn't been fed and had been stuck in his room all day (he gets three feeds, one small one in the morning at nine, another small one at one and then a slightly larger portion for dinner, he hadn't had his breakfast or lunch.) So I went to let Dexter out of his room only to find he had thrown up everywhere. It was then I noticed he looked very off and was very unsteady on his feet, could barely keep his eyes open and was quite lethargic. Now I watch my pets like a hawk so I know when the slightest thing is wrong with them and so I rushed him straight to vets, I was not prepared for the news. The vet told me Dexter's bladder, kidneys and liver were very swollen, his bladder was about to burst and his bowels were blocked up. He was very dehydrated even though Dexter always had a constant supply of fresh water. I told my vet I hadn't been there since Tuesday afternoon and came home to Dexter being like this and was going on what my sister had said. The vets I go to know I do everything I possibly can for my pets but Dexter was in a very bad way and was rushed straight into theater but was told it wasn't looking good and that he may need to be put to sleep but that they would do all that they can. And they do, one of my ferrets nearly died after his bladder burst after he got stuck (we have an open play pen for them and he got stuck between the bars) the vets did a fabulous job and my ferret is now back in tip top condition so I know Dexter is in safe hands. I can't bear the thought of loosing my beloved cat and cried my eyes out on the phone to my mom and to my sister who blames herself. I rang the Vets later that evening and they said he was doing well which gave me a bit of hope but I learned today that he took a turn for the worst last night and had to be rushed to larger clinic. He's to get an x-ray tomorrow to find out whether or not he has kidney stones or bladder stones. I just need him to be okay. But on top of that, I posted a small clip of me practicing my glissades and my pas de chats on my blog only for some horrible person to call my fat and to get my horrible stuff out of their tag (on tumblr you have specific tags for things. Like if you have a video of a girl dancing ballet you would tag it ballet, dance and if she's on pointe you would tag it with pointe as well) now this horrible person really knocked me down as I have tried so hard to loose weight and to be healthy and class went incredibly well. I managed a few pirouettes which is what I have always struggled with. I know it was only one person but it still made a difficult time even worse but I replied to this person and told her everything that was going on and that she made my situation worse to which she told me to kill myself. Now I'm a chronic depressive, Anxiety and bi-polar and suicide is a constant thought on my mind that I battle with every day but I am strong person and death terrifies me. But that was the last straw and I had a huge break down. Even now, although I'm a little better, I still feel really crap. I have no idea how I'm going to pay my vet bills which already has an outstanding amount, I've no idea how I'm going to afford gas and electric or even groceries for that matter. Things are just piling up and piling up and no matter how much I try and keep it all organised something always comes along and ruins it and I just don't know what to do anymore. I've tried asking my parents for help but they won't and I'm running out of ideas. I'm sorry for this huge post, I just need to rant. How do you guys cope when, to put it lightly, shit hits the fan?

Can I ask how DD found working with Grishko's Dream Pointe? How long did they last her and are they a quieter shoe? My fitter is ordering me a pair to try but I'm not too sure on them yet as I've been hearing mix reviews. I was using Gaynors extraflex but the pair I was using as a strengthening shoe has now officially had it and I really don't want to touch my brand new pair my mom has locked away so opting for a cheaper shoe to work with. I'm getting the really hard shank ordered in as I was using a medium shank previously before GM's and the shank was not lasting me at all so fitter advised the Dream Pointe when I was there getting new canvas flats and tights.

Get in contact with Lisa Howell, she is simply amazing and her advice to me whenever I got back into Ballet after being incredibly ill for a good few years was amazing. I strongly suggest getting as many opinions as possible before settling on a solution. Have you talked your DD's main instructor, if she has more than one maybe try and sit down and have a talk with all of them. Get them to explain to your DD what is at risk if she were to not recover properly as by the sounds of it she is very passionate and I would hate for her to rush into things. But as stated previously 17 is certainly not to young. I strongly suggest she focuses more on her school work than her dancing and then once that is out of the way then she give her dancing a 110%. What I did whenever I fell ill is I focused my attention in getting better but did gentle exercises and techniques to keep me supple but nothing to much that would knock my health/.recovery down again. I think her main concern right now is to make sure she doesn't injure herself further as although there maybe a solution at the minute if she pushes herself too much she may not be able to fix it. Good luck

I would also suggest downloading a tracing form from Gaynor Mindens website. GM's have never failed me and you can email or post them your tracings and they give you your exact fit. GM's also work out cheaper in the long run even though they are costly. I've tried every possible pointe shoe there is, Grishko Elites were my first ever pointe shoe and I have really wide feet but very tapered toes. GM's were a last resort because of how pricey they are. JB does GM's as well but you may find Russian Pointe maybe your DD's shoe . Good luck.

Ah, I'm with you now. Sorry. I shall certainly give it a try, Lucozade is one of my favourites, I drink a lot of it during the winter when I'm really sick (bad immune system.) I eat at four because I have to get two buses. My bus from my home to Belfast takes half an hour and it's at 5pm and gets me in at half 5 giving me ten minutes to grab a bottle of water and a little snack before my next bus which takes me to my class and gets me there for seven. Half an hour of warm up and stretching before actual class By the time I get to class I don't feel as full and empty everything before class so I don't need to go during class. I may just need to eat more carbs to give me that extra boost. Thank you so much for this. I think I just need little reminders. I'm going to try and get a canvas, something simple with a pair of pointe shoes on it and right some of these quotes down. Give me some motivation in hopes to earn those shoes once again. They are safe stretches that I have done all the time, I know my limits and make sure not to push them except in class. They're not like wall stretches but simple ones where after I've warmed up I use a theraband or my boyfriends aid to work on my extensions. That's really it. Nothing too drastic. My core never has been strong, turn out, good feet and flexibility have come natural to me but my actual strength has always been poor. I think it always came down to the point that I severely lacked upper body strength to use in working my core through half sit ups etc. It's much better than what it was but as they say, hard work pays off. I have saved your post into a word document as it was the most amazing thing I have ever read. Thank you so much for posting this, it was such a delightful read.

Yeah, I find when I hit center work it's where I really loose my focus. I take a bottle of water in with me to sip at. The class is an hour long split between barre and center. My class is at half 7 and I get the 5pm bus so I make sure I have had two full meals before then, my breakfast and a bit lunch before four so by the time I get to class it's settled. I have two sesame seed biscuits before class and sip slowly at my bottle of water so I'm not rushing to the toilet too often. I make sure to go before class and go again after class and then I get my dinner after class. I can't drink energy drinks as they go right through me, I can't have too much caffeine as I have a heart problem and since cutting down big time on my caffeine I've not had as many problems.

I think I am, I've got it into my head that because I have past experience that I should be among the top of the class but I'm not and it frustrates me. I love that little quote, you're exactly right, no dancer is perfect. I need to get that printed somewhere. Yes, this is my first time back to proper classes in well over two years. I spent a lot of time in privates and now that I'm back in classes it feels a bit weird. I am comparing myself to others. We had a little competition in class on who can get their leg the highest during our grand battement derriere and although one of the girls held her bent leg up with her hands she won it and I felt a little cheated as mine was the highest. I was so proud I could hold it past 90 degrees and yet felt like a failure. And no I don't do pilates, there isn't anywhere near me that does pilates, there is barre fitness plus though. But I have a pilates book that I go through and practice a few moves in that after making sure I'm doing them right.

Okay, so class is going amazing so far but in our last class there we did pirouettes and I froze up. I literally lost focus completely and just couldn't process the steps. I felt like such a failure. The week before that I found I wasn't able to focus well enough and was making mistakes and I hate making mistakes. I'm a perfectionist. I've already made extreme changes to my diet. I have literally cut out junk food, soda and white bread and even cut down big time on my brown bread. Eating alot more rice and pasta and drinking tons more water and yet my focus seems to be slipping. Any advice? Also any tips on how to strengthen my flexibility/leg height. When my boyfriend is helping me stretch I can get my leg up to 135 degrees sometimes close to 180 but I can't hold it. The second he lets go or I let go it drops to 90 degrees. I don't have my splits yet but I'm working on that. I've been doing extra core exercises to strengthen it. Is there anything else I should. I'm trying the whole, leg on counter and lift it up but my leg cramps up no matter how much I warm up or rub the heck out of it. Hope everyone else is doing splendid

What do you mean it wouldn't let you? The butterfly with the tiny little arrow on it is my arrow key, you just hover it over the link and click it

I have a full post here with all the info, what we did as well as a few pictures. The fact I managed to get through the class without needing my inhaler (which I purposely left in my bag upstairs) or with taking a break was amazing. I managed to keep up but my battement degage is atrocious, I need to work on it as well as my leg height. I can get my leg at a 135 degree angle but can't hold it, it just drops back down to 90 degrees on my right leg and slightly lower on my left which is my weaker side. I have quite a flexible back but I've a big booty which I'm trying to shrink. Slowly getting there, some of my size 12-14 jeans are now too big. Size 16's which I was wearing a few months ago are now far to big, I'm so proud of myself. I've gone from 15st to 12.5 Anyway, we also did chaines turns as well which has never been my strong point but I really need to work on my pas de bouree's and on another plus though I now nearly have a full 180 degree turn out, mainly in first and I'm not sickling as much when I go into second position but my 4th and 5th is much much better Doing releves in my GM's has really helped me with more control over my alignment and helped strengthen my ankles and turn outs. Going to use them just for that, I gave my newest pair to my mom to lock away until I earn my right to wear them again and use my other nearly worn out GM's to strengthen everything up a bit more. Hope everyone is enjoying themselves and thank you so much to all those that have helped me along the way so far.

They said yes, have my first class Tuesday evening I'm starting off with just one class a week for the first 5 week term then moving up to having private lessons the second term so as to not strain myself to much and then the following year hopefully be back up to scratch

Yeah, I used to do payday loans when I was in University, never going down that route again. I have emailed them and explained everything. I've contacted my bank but the account I have isn't eligible for overdrafts. I have a hallifax easy cash account and I can't upgrade or anything because of bad credit from, yep you guessed it, pay day loans which I did pay back on time. They tell you it boosts your credit rating but it doesn't it makes it worse. Yeah, I've sent them an email and even offered to set up a direct debit or a standing order so they get it the second my money goes in. I really hope they take it as they have been super sweet.

So as you all know I was meant to be starting APPA-NI next week but due to emergency circumstances I now no longer have the fees to be able to pay on my first day. I was so excited to finally be able to go back and dance again but now it feels like I may not get too as I just don't have the money. Anyone I have asked to borrow from has said no even though I said I'd pay them back, I even offered to set up a standing order for them so it comes out of my bank the second my wages go in on the 25th and still nothing. I know I'm not the only one with money issues, I understand that but of all the times I've lent other people money I would have thought the time I needed it they would be able to help me out. Does anyone have any advice? Do you think APPA will allow me to pay my fees when I get paid, I was supposed to start on the 16th and I get paid on the 25th. Is there anywhere I can get financial help? Sorry this is so depressing it's just been a very hard couple of weeks, my Aunt has been given a 4-6 month expectancy and it's been very hard on the family.

My dogs have chewed my new bloch split soles, albeit they were a little pinchy across the top of my foot they were simply fab. I have a really high arch that makes it really hard to get decent shoes. Full sole is a no go. I don't have much money and I literally need them in three weeks, maybe even sooner as I may have a few private lessons coming up to prepare me for September when I join APPA. I don't know if anyone can recommend me a pair. I was going to buy the pro arch bloch ones but I've been told they're quite neat width wise. Honestly I don't care if they're leather, canvas or satin as long as they're a split sole that will be fab. Many thanks in advance.

Okay so it turns out that my GM Luxe shoes are too hard for me and my Extra flex ones are too wide and now also too hard even though they are fab and so comfortable.So I need a new pair but alas I do not have the funds and so I am, reluctantly, selling these ones. There are two pairs, both with elastic and ribbon attached however I may remove the ribbon and elastic from one pair for my new ones. It depends how much they go for. GM Luxe, hard shank, HH, DV, 9.5M/4 (these came from GM themselves and have been worn once, they have no suede tip but I have ordered them. This is the size I actually am according to GM fitters) GM Extra flex, HH, DV 9.5W/4. These are really well worn but still plenty of life, they are amazing but the satin is beginning to fray at the bottom but it's not really noticeable. As I said I don't know how much to sell these for. My Extra flex are well worn but my Luxe shoes have only been worn once. I would attach images if I knew how to upload them. The Luxe shoes have that anti-crease satin and bloody hell it is amazing. Thanks in advance.

I can't use Rosin on my skin unfortunately, it really irritates me. I have suede tips coming so hopefully they will do for my GM's even though they are Grishko tips.

AWH nicely done Yeah the dancing I'm going to be starting in September is RAD. Really excited. I have my elastic in a cross cross, it's how I always have it now instead of the loop but think of maybe adding the loop as well.

Okay so I know there is a huge debate about GM's being a cheat shoe but they are the "only" shoe that work for me. I cannot stress enough how much they have helped and have made my feet stronger. I got my first pair of GM's from Just Ballet and still have them but the stain is starting to fray on the bottom, revealing the inside lining. So treated myself to a new pair through GM themselves. Turns out I'm actually a medium width and not a wide, was quite surprised giving how I'm a wide fit in every other shoe. Grishko I'm taking a 4X, Capezio was an E, sometimes double E and don't even get me started on Blochs and Russian Pointes they are just not for me at all, regardless of how pretty they are. Anyway, I ended up getting the Luxe GM's and blimey were they worth the wait. The Anti-crease satin is a god send however I have noticed that they seem to crease a lot more around the front of my box...They are a perfect fit, incredibly comfortable. But for the love of all pointe shoes the heels will not stay on and keep falling down. I've pulled the drawstring as tight as I could and have elastic to help keep the heel on but it just keeps falling down. I cannot stand heel grippers, they irritate my heels for reason. On another note, has anyone else had the Luxe shoe before? I've only just noticed there is no suede tip, just satin. I know GM do suede tips to buy separately but do they just glue on like normal toe tips? Pointless post is pointless but just felt the need to write something.

I know this is probably really late and probably already sorted but I wanted to add in how I got things sorted with student finance. Now I'm Northern Ireland based so it'll probably be different. But out student finance NI will pay the tuition fees, I had mine paid for when I did my HONS, I got a maintenance grant and loan, the loan and student fees you have to repay but only once your earning over a set amount a year. However schools do offer what is called a hardship grant which you can get on top of student finance, I got it as well as I could prove what I got from student finance wasn't enough to live on and get me to Uni. Mine also did bursary a as well which all comes down to how well you're doing academically and attendance wise. I don't have to pay back anything except the tuition fees and the loan but not until I'm earning over £25K. Now yes with private schools. Thy will only cover half but if you find yourself struggling the the school should do a hardship grant as well which can be used to cover tuition fees. The only thing is you need to prove in every aspect how much you need it. I literally burst into tears one time when I applied for mine as I was really struggling. (First house etc). No idea if this helps but I have 26 qualifications under my belt and I got help for it all. Also over here our local library board offers student finance, same with our borough council and benefits office. Hope this helps in some way and sorry if it's already been cleared up and settled before hand.

I posted a new topic but just wanted to say here that I registered for appa today, I start on the 17th September

I start Appa-NI on the 17th September, registered today and got to look around the place. The ladies were so lovely. I'll be starting with Pilates first and maybe have a Dane class on the side and next year I start ballet completely with Pilates on the side. The only thing that is going to be an issue is,like everyone else, is money. Travel up and down is going to cost a fortune but I can stay at my boyfriends in the evenings. I've applied to Student finance NI for help but don't think I'm going to get any. There are still a few things I'm confused about but I'll get it sorted all in due time. Hopefully. But on the plus side I'm going to be dancing again, all is not lost.