glowlight

Firstly - I'm so glad you didn't leave the forum in August - there are many of us here who are retired ballet Mums and we still have something to contribute, and the forum can still give something to us as well. Secondly - that feeling of grieving when your child makes the decision to stop dancing is normal. I think we all feel it to some extent, even when you know it is the right choice. Thirdly - It is interesting that the pandemic has given some students the space they need to realise that they are on the wrong path for them. Definitely a silver lining in all of this.

Hopefully, if the schools are working together on this, students won't be put in the position of having to accept an offer at one school before final auditions have happened at others. I know this happens to some extent in normal years, but if some schools take an approach of delaying finals and others choose to go ahead with a video approach offers could be all over the place!

How awful for you @meadowblythe that social services put that decision on you....although I expect you were grateful that they did at the time. I expect I would have made the same decision - trusting the school to deal with it.

Oh @cotes du rhone !. What a humbling post. It made me so sad to read of your dreadful experiences and particularly that you still blame yourself for not speaking out sooner. Firstly can I say congratulations to your dd for making her difficult choice and moving on with her life. It is easy to forget that ALL dancers have to make that choice at some stage. For some it is after years in a successful career. For some it is after a few years of jumping from one job to the next and struggling to make ends meet. For many, sadly, it is after years of training but before they have seen what you might call the 'fruits of their labours'. But, that training isn't wasted - it gives so many transferrable skills which are of value in any future career: Team Work, Discipline, Work ethic, ability to multitask to name but a few. You asked about paths that others have taken after leaving vocational training, so I will share with you my dd's path. She went to vocational school at 16 with the dream of becoming a ballet dancer. By the time she reached her 3rd year she realised the chances of getting a job in a company were very small - so while she was sending off CVs to every ballet company she could, she also was going to open auditions for musical theatre, cruise ships etc. In the end she was offered a Cruise ship contract and worked for 5 years for the same company. The cruise ship life is (or was then) an excellent route for a dancer who is happy to be away from the UK for months at a time. They get to see the world, good pay and no living expenses, no commute and it is varied job as they have other duties on board as well as just dancing. Anyway - after 5 years, for a number of reasons, she decided she wanted to be back on dry land. For several months she was looking around for what her future direction might be, and she started to think about re-training for a career in IT. She was lucky to land a trainee job with a company who valued her life experience and work ethic. They trained her up and she is now a team leader. I hope this helps you and your dd. And please...don't beat yourself up about what has happened. Hindsight is a wonderful thing!

When my dd was young her dance teacher allowed her to go to other schools for extra classes and dance styles which she didn't offer. In fact she even set this up on occasion. I don't know what the position would have been for styles she did offer, but I think she would have been sensitive to the issue of timetabling not fitting. On the face of it, you might think that the teacher is trying to protect her business, but if so that would be short sighted as you could just up sticks and take all your business elsewhere. There could be other reasons for her position. The conflict when it comes to competitions is one. Another could be, if you have said you are looking at a particular school and she has reservations about the teaching at that school. Maybe you could go back to the teacher and ask for her suggestions as to how your dd could start to expand her dance repertoire given you can't see how to make it work with the current timetable. She may have ideas. Did you have a particular

I too was going to suggest Northern Ballet School in Manchester. My dd went there (many years ago) and was on their classical (ballet) strand - but the variety of dance styles taught enabled her to get a job on cruise ships when she wasn't able to find a job in classical ballet. Have you considered going down the contemporary route? The colleges which offer contemporary seem to prefer their students to be more mature than the schools with a predominantly ballet focus where most students start at 16. You would still get a strong ballet training, but with more diversification. For this I would look at Northern School of Contemporary Dance in Leeds (accommodation is probably cheaper than in Glasgow and London), London Contemporary Dance School, Rambert School, Laban (all these are in London so again the cost of living may be prohibitive unless you already live in or near London).

@Oakley - I too am unable to answer your question directly as my dd went to vocational school at 16. There certainly are people who take 'unconventional' routes, but I think a lot will depend on who is teaching you, and their contacts. It is difficult enough to even be offered an audition for a ballet company, and I got the strong impression when dd was auditioning for companies that the name of the school and what professional level performance experience you had made a big impact on that. And that brings me to a second point about vocational school vs private lessons. At school you will get the opportunity to perform on stage with others. That is an important part of training to be a dancer and learning how to work in a company. You might want to consider how you would get that experience with private lessons.

I remember you - many a Saturday morning spent sat in the lobby at West Park

My husband just asked me if there was a category for 'Retired Ballet Mums' on the forum? A category for ...'Been there, done it, got the grey hair!'. I know that there are many of us here who's DC's are now grown up, and I love that we can still be part of this community.

With any appeal, I think it is worth considering ...what is to be gained? Will it make a difference to these students' future careers if their grades are increased? If so - maybe it is worth considering. If not - maybe it is better to accept it as a quirk of the bizarre times we live in and move on to the next stage in their training (which I'm sure they have already done anyway).

BBC news says Morrisons are stepping up on the face masks thing - but how staff will identify people who are 'medically exempt' I don't know as there is no legal definition for who is medically exempt. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-55618408

'Cooking in a Bedsitter' was my cookery bible as a student in the 80's, and I have bought many copies since for students going away to college.

A Nutcracker is for life..not just for Christmas??? Or maybe not!

It's interesting to notice how ones perception has changed. I often find myself thinking 'gosh they're standing close together', or 'how rude that he's getting in her face like that' when watching films and TV shows which were made pre-Covid.

I wrote this a couple of weeks ago in a moment of mellow reflection. For me this sums up 2020: The year of walks and picnics. Of sunshine and muddy trousers. Of missing family, but getting to know the neighbours. Of saving money on holidays, and spending it in local businesses who have worked so hard, re-inventing themselves again and again to keep going. The year of statistics and lockdowns. Of online rum tasting and virtual festivals. Of realising that life doesn’t have to include commuting on crowded trains, visiting busy shops and big parties. Of appreciating what we have and valuing every minute we got to spend with family and friends.

Thankyou Sim and all the moderators who make this wonderful forum possible. And to all the contributors - my virtual friends - Happy New Year.

@Michelle_Richer - In the Tier 4 guidance on the .gov website, under 'Businesses and Venues which must close' there is an exemption 'for the purposes of film and TV filming'. I'm not sure if this is intended to be for the purposes of virtual classes, but I think this may be what @youngatheart is referring to.

Although I don't know anything about this school myself, for anyone who does it may be useful to know what age your DS is @Megan

Aside from professional productions which use children, it would be worth looking out for performance opportunities with Youth ballet companies. English Youth Ballet and National Youth Ballet spring to mind. I think there are some regional youth performance companies as well. My dd's local dance school also used to put on a full scale production once every two years - so she got to be in The Nutcracker twice with them.

What a well presented interpretation of the rules in England from the RAD. @Balletgremlin - I wonder if it would be worth you creating a new post with this guidance as I am sure this will be of interest to some who won't necessarily be following this thread.

In the Tier 3 rules published on the .gov.uk website there are a couple of 'exemptions' which seem to allow dance classes to go ahead for Under 18s, and those following a curriculum: Under 'Sport and Physical Activity' it lists exceptions for: sports as part of the curriculum in education supervised sport and physical activity for under-18s (including those who were under 18 on 31 August 2020) These are noticeably absent in the Tier 4 rules. As you say @LinMM - there is plenty of time for this to change in the next few weeks, so probably no point in getting too hung up on it yet.

I was thrilled to capture this shot on Christmas morning, with just by I-phone camera.

Really enjoyed The Secret Theatre. A very refreshing way to get a bit of a Nutcracker fix in time for Christmas.

My DD and I are planning to watch this simultaneously from opposite ends of the country tomorrow. Tech permitting

I don't know if it is an electronic or handwritten form these days - but I suggest she writes or types it in rough away from the form before putting it on the form itself. Write from the heart - but then re-read, edit and correct it to make it even more perfect