Ruby Foo

What I would do, and what I have done in the past, is ring the school and ask for a meeting with the teacher concerned. I would say, my child has started to feel extremely anxious in these classes and I want to ‘ explore’ what could be causing this and how we might work in a slightly different way so that my child no longer feels such anxiety and so so she / he can offer his/her best work. I can’t stress enough, how important it is to be open and honest and to put any defensiveness and blame to one side for the time being. Not easy, I know, but your child deserves this issue to be resolved, the teacher must learn valuable lessons and the fastest way in my opinion is this approach. When the school realise you want to ‘ discuss and discover’ what is going on so that your child and the teacher can work together to resolve the issues, then the defensive, protective school procedures will begin to soften a little, and they will probably agree to a meeting with the teacher plus the Deputy Director. You are not going to ‘complain’ about the teacher although you may feel you have every right to, and that would be an equally legitimate response if you choose that route. It’s really important to stress any mental health issues that might be arising due to the teachers approach to your child but also to LISTEN and take on board any issues from the teacher and the Director. Ultimately, you are looking for an open discussion which could bring this situation to an end. This approach has worked for me in the past ( although slightly different issues) and there has been no comebacks or retribution. I feel the schools are fearful of parents and lawsuits ( and let’s face it there’s a lot they need to be concerned about! ) and so put up this defensive barrier. But over the years we’ve shared many problematic things with staff and sometimes I’ve been pleasantly surprised at the outcome. I would also be constantly discussing this with your child, so they are completely aware that this is not their problem and that the teacher needs help in understanding how to be a helpful, kind and decent coach.

The Dance Shop in Edinburgh have good stock and will send quickly. Dance Evolution near Oxford used to have great stock too.

Personally I wouldn’t wear the JA uniform either. I’m sure she has something else she would love to wear, but if not, I would recommend wearing a navy strappy leotard and hair in a bun. It’s always helpful to look like you fit in.

Sorry, the post above is very long! Apologies. I think I’m just trying to suggest that your face will quite naturally reflect what’s going on inside of you without you trying too hard ‘ toput on a face’. Then your face will be ‘open’ and expressive and natural and others ( audience) will willingly engage with it.

When you say you love ballet, what exactly does that mean? Expression can come from the storytelling / acting in a Ballet ( such as Giselle or Swan Lake) where you are immersing yourself in a role, or from the music, or generally both. Joy is found in movement especially to music but also incredibly powerful without music. Sometimes it’s hard performing syllabus exercises to understand how they link to all these things but ALL movements in Ballet have an underlying PURPOSE and meaning, which lies in an understanding,(brain) and emotion,from your core (soul). Its going to be unique to you but within a classical technique. So before you begin a movement your brain has connected to what this means for you and how you want to communicate this to your audience. Authenticity is so important, because it’s easy to ‘forge’ ballet expression by copying others, but it is easy for others to see it’s not genuine or believable. Maybe start by feeling a sense of openness before the music starts ( preparation) Not smiling, or blankness but really opening your soul, and face and eyes and breath, let the music overcome you, that the expression you are feeling will emanate from you without you trying too hard. Really be aware of your breathing and the music and how they enhance one another. What does the music mean to you? Where are the highlights in the music? How will you interpret that? Is it calm or dramatic? Where are the breaths going to be taken and the musical phrases? What colours do you see? And textures? Using your whole body to interpret the music, feeling the fluidity or the cheekiness, strength and joy. All this can be interpreted through the whole of your body, arms, fingers, back, legs, not just in your face. There’s no right or wrong, it’s just how you interpret the space, the music and your love of movement. Obviously your teacher will correct you should your interpretation interrupt your technique and line. You could always try to practice the exercises at home to music you love instead of the syllabus music if it helps to move you from within. And just listening to music and becoming curious to how you might interpret it in movement will help. Watching Ballets where you recognise some of the syllabus steps you do in class, may help you to see how they can be performed in a wider setting and to become aware of how the steps speak to you. I would recommend watching several different artists preform the same ballet and becoming aware of how they interpret things differently. I can personally recommend watching Sophie Martin of Scottish Ballet perform Swan Lake. I have never been moved so much in my life. Every tiny pore of her body told of her joy and pain. Exceptional. Some people believe can’t teach expression in Ballet, that you either have it or not. But expressing ourselves it what we all do every day and it’s just the same in a ballet class. Just a case of being more aware, gradual exploration and development. Enjoy!

sarah@sarahtoner.co.uk Yes, she is still teaching in this area.

Sorry, my post above did not relate to any school in particular but rather to Ballet training in general.

I totally agree with everything Pups_mum has said. When all the emotions ( from the pain, humiliation etc) have been shut down and suppressed, then everything has been swept under the carpet and appears to be going smoothly. By the 3rd term the pupil hardly acknowledges the fact that the teacher refuses to look at them in class,after class after class, despite trying desperately hard to up their game, hoping that just this one time the teacher may offer a glance or even more fortunately, a correction. The fact that the teacher only looks at one or two favourite pupils is now accepted as ‘they’re the favourites’ and I may as well not be in this class. Or a pupil who has terribly sore and bleeding toes in pointe work being humiliated for showing pain and weakness, will very quickly suppress the pain believing it to be part of the course. As Pups _mum rightly points out, it might be transferred to subsequent generations but it also leads to mental illness later in life. Only when emotions are fully expressed ( as being real because you feel them!) heard and validated, can things move forward in a more healthy manner.

From what I gathered, he was never particularly flexible and that hadn’t changed!

On the news today, Calum Lowden, from Scottish Borders, who has been promoted to Principal at the Royal Swedish Ballet. He claims to be very inflexible, not being able to do the splits or touch his toes.

Just to add, you don’t need to spend a whole lot on a leotard. I have seen swimsuits with straight straps in Asda that would do the job. But obviously, if you’re going to all the trouble of auditioning then you’ll want something that looks nice and fits well.

I would recommend a Degas ‘Meryl’ type or a Wear Moi camisole ( spaghetti strap) type, ( no skirt) But lots of parents on this forum will have other good ideas. As long as it’s completely plain then it’s good. It can have a low back, but not too low as you, ( or someone) will need to pin a number on the back and if it’s seriously low cut it becomes impossible.

It’s the same suggestions for RBS as for any ballet audition Leave more time than you think you’ll need for travelling etc Pack two of everything including shoes ((just in case) keep everything light hearted and fun and maybe combine the audition with something else that’s fun to do ( if you have time) That way your child will have positive memories of a day out with you whatever the outcome. Make your hair neat ( doesn’t have to be glued up) and wear a lovely plain leotard ( no lace or crossed straps or fussy detail) in a colour that suits your child. Most students like a fairly high leg cut leotard but comfyness is priority. No point in having a high cut leg if it rides up and you have to pull it down all the time! A matching hair ribbon and waistband is a good idea. Remember your water bottle and take plenty snacks. Remember that talent and joy will shine through whatever you do! And for parents, read everything you can both positive and negative about the school you are applying for and the career you are applying for so you are as informed as you can be, before the event. Have a lovely day!

I would recommend Nicola Moriarty. She teaches near Brands Hatch and possibly other venues.

I would assume that every parent who has sent their child to vocational school trusted that the school would do their best by them, otherwise, as you say, you wouldn’t have sent them there in the first place. However, as this forum thread points out, some experiences, and definitely not all, broke that trust.

I feel this is one of the most valuable and honest threads on this forum. The fact we can discuss these important issues means we can be more aware of the pitfalls, empowered in asking questions and making good decisions that fit our values. It doesn’t mean that schools will magically change because it seems they are frustratingly slow or unwilling to learn lessons, the school being more important than the students. On a positive, they HAVE changed beyond recognition since my day, (the old days) and definitely for the better. And there have been some very positive accounts of kindness and good practice on here which is good to hear. It breaks my heart to think of those talented and enthusiastic yr 7s ( on this thread) who’s chosen schools were not ‘with them’ on their journey. However much our kids connect with ballet, love it, appreciate it, and see it as their future, it surely cannot override our desire to give them a loving, healthy and nurturing childhood. One where they are at the center and their needs are met emotionally and physically, and lead to mental well-being and potential happiness. A growing child, a developing brain. Through 5 years of training, a child will progress through adolescence, often a tricky time when boosting confidence and self esteem is so important. Especially in this pressurised environment where body image and being ‘perfect’ is emphasised and blown out of all proportion. If only schools recognised this and there was a genuine willingness from all, to step up support. We would not hire a childminder after meeting them for 10/15 minutes which is around the time we will meet our child’s carers at an open day and still may not get to speak to them in person. For those who are not sure, and are able to access reasonable training, associates etc then waiting another year might be the answer? Going a year later is another year at home, another year of discussion and another year of maturity.

You can just apply to mids if you want. It won’t make any difference. They will offer her a place at White Lodge if they think she’s super suitable, EVEN IF YOU ONLY APPLIED FOR MIDS. It’s a bit different if you apply to White Lodge. Because, if you are not offered a WL place from finals you also may not automatically get a mids place as some centres are very oversubscribed, such as London.

The point of asking all these questions is, not only to get the answers but also to get a feel for how the school is set up. The way they deal with you will be a good indication of how approachable and communicative and ‘open’ they will be with you in the future. Are they patient with you continually phoning or emailing until you are satisfied. Do they get back to you immediately or as soon as possible.Do they put you in touch with the relevant staff who will be dealing with your child? Or try to answer everything themselves? Do they take your questions seriously? Or give you a dumbed down, pre arranged answer. If you are considering a school, I would be in touch with them immediately. You can say you have many questions and possibly many more as the weeks go by. Use a range of ways of communicating… speaking on the phone will give you more of an indication of warmth and an open, approachable feeling. I would not leave anything until you visit. Its too late by this time, open days are rushed and stressful and your head will be full of the visual picture.

From our own personal experience some questions that might be helpful would be, How will the school know how ill my child is ill? Minimal, carrying on as usual with some medication, Medial, needing a day off to rest and recuperate, or Max, needing to be in sick bay with care and attention or possibly being collected from school? Who will inform me? How? When? Will they keep up communication? No one knows your child better than you, and as you won’t be there, how easy will it be for your child to ask for the help they need? Is that person warm and approachable? Accessible? Even in the middle of the night? Lots of dorms have complex security in place and it’s not always easy to get help quickly. How will my child’s injuries be assessed? Will I get to speak to the physio? If my child is off class, what will they be doing instead? How will the psychological fallout of being off classes be handled? Will the school know if my child is becoming depressed because they can’t dance? How will the remedial stage be handled? Can we get a second opinion outside of school? Can my child get sports massage? We have never been given the report of an MRI scan my child had in June, other than to say, there are some issues but nothing serious. How easily will it be to speak to the school/ teachers IN PERSON? Not only when there is an issue but just to be reassured? A chat? Will they accommodate me at times when I can travel? Combine it with picking up my child? Will they be open to complaints? Constructive criticism? What does the school provide to take the students mentally away from dance? Change of scene? Activities? Weekend? One of the biggest issues of full time training is that it is all embodying. The students become more and more obsessive and every waking moment is about dance. If they are not doing it, they are talking about it, watching it, doing exercises in the studios till very late at night. It’s unhealthy in every aspect. Judging yourself, judging others and boredom that leads to nastiness. Not to speak of the mental strain and pressure. So important to have a means to escape from this. How are the dormitories organised? Do they change people every term? How do they choose who to be with? What happens if one child is left out? What happens if my child is unhappy and very sad? Who can they express this to? Schools tend to gloss over homesickness, working on the principle that it will disappear soon enough. I can’t stress enough that these emotions need to be acknowledged and appropriate time spent airing these very distressing feelings.

Just to add to my previous post, I do want to stress that the houseparents try their best and were a positive stepping stone to bringing bullying within the class to a halt and very supportive in other areas too. But often the students feel they can’t bother them ( particularly through Covid when they had so many extra duties) and evenings are such a rush with tea, homework, showers etc. Anxieties tend to go unnoticed and unaired (and magnify) unless they can chat somewhere private ( and in peace) to their parents/ guardian. I don’t want to seem negative but I hope it’s helpful to understand the issues. Maybe a diversion from the original post, but it is interesting that junior boarding ballet schools are rare in the rest of the world, apart from Russia of course.

When you send your child to boarding school, the school becomes the ‘parent’. They look after your child when they are ill, injured, when they’ve fallen out with all their friends, when they’ve been picked on unnecessarily by teachers, had their ballet shoes stolen, feel like there is no- one on their side. And plenty, plenty more. Who is your child going to talk to when she is sharing a room with someone who has developed an eating disorder for example? Can you imagine the pressure of worrying about your friend whilst carrying on in the best way you know? It’s a huge ask. Who is going to listen? Who can your child express their feelings and emotions to? Who is going to make sense of the confusion of emotions? Who is going to notice your child’s body language when they’ve had a terrible week? Even in the best boarding schools this sort of care is often inadequate. But in a Vocational setting such as a ballet school which is 24 hours of intense pressure ( described so lucidly by Cotes du Rhone) and coming from every direction - the constant evaluation by staff, friends, yourself, then checking credentials of the staff is only going to go so far, even if they’ve done the full range of safeguarding procedures. We have experienced illness, where no member of staff offered support ( or was even in the building) and fortunately I was close enough to bring my child home after a frantic phone call where they told me they felt so ill they felt they were dying. All this during Covid and not a member of staff in sight. No Covid test taken. My child’s temperature was off the chart and they were obviously extremely poorly indeed. I had no call from any member of staff to say my child was ill. No one spoke to me at the school when I picked her up - she was quietly passing out on the front steps. There have also been plenty positive times, quietly working away, good friends, laughter, plenty to celebrate and joy of learning with some lovely, supportive, wonderful teachers. But I definitely want to draw your attention to the nurturing side of Vocational schools ( or lack of it) ( we have experienced 2) and to emphasise the need for HUGE parental support in this area ( however you can ) because otherwise students learn very quickly to suppress their emotions with consequences later down the line. Students come from very different backgrounds, this and their different personalities will impact on how they deal with these very tricky experiences.

We never did the photos to the side shown on the diagrams and it didn’t make a difference. We chose the side that looked best.

Sorry, meant to add that Hammond operate a very similar process to Tring.

There are 2 types of offers for Tring. You are accepted after the preliminary audition and will pay full fees on accepting the offer (usually you have around a week to decide) Or you will be invited to a funding audition, usually early March. Tring have a number of MDS ( music and dance scholarship) awards to give out each year but that number varies from year to year. Sometimes it’s 3 and sometimes 10 and anything in between. They are given to any year where potential is shown, not just yr 7. If you are awarded an MDS after that audition, then it is means tested. If you are not awarded one then you will be put on a wait list. Most students are auditioning for more than one school and so some places become available if a student accepts an offer from another school. One of the problems to consider is the timing of all the final auditions and the time you have to accept offers. Other schools, such as RBS and Elmhurst have automatic scholarships on a place being offered which are means tested.

You’d be amazed how many reasons there are for students leaving vocational schools or changing schools. Also, some schools make room for an extra one if they really want them!