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Ballet4Boyz

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  1. Ballet4Boyz
    So sorry to hear that Mrs Moo - we went through that awful phase too whilst DS was at primary school with both verbal and latterly quite severe physical abuse. We were so lucky to have a very supportive head teacher who stamped on it - but it took threatening police intervention in the end. I used to dread DS going to mainstream secondary school and what he would have to face there. We were very lucky to be offered a vocational place and the bullying is now just a horrible memory for him. Remind your son of how these people are just jealous and that he will have a richer life experience through dancing at whatever level he takes it to. Talk to your headteacher and stamp on it before it gets out of hand. There should be zero tolerance to it. Give your DS a big hug and tell him this time will pass and he’s not alone in this. Maybe consider private lessons if you can’t find associate classes and keep trying for a vocational place. On a personal level - I really feel for you ...... good luck with it all and you are welcome to DM me if you need a broad shoulder xx
  2. Ballet4Boyz
    Shannon and Peter Parker used to run the “Midlands Associates” based in Ollerton, north of Nottingham. Our DS used to really enjoy the Sunday sessions there - with Peter often taking the boys to one side to teach them separately. Our DS is now at vocational school so I’m not sure if this scheme is still running - but maybe worth looking into 😊
  3. Ballet4Boyz
    Hi, I’m sure if you let the school know & boarding staff - you can take your DC out after the open morning has finished. We usually take our DS out for lunch & spend the afternoon with him 😁
  4. Ballet4Boyz
    That’s a shame, I’m sorry to hear that Pictures & hope your DD regains her confidence very soon........ the highs and lows of vocational training never end !! x
  5. Ballet4Boyz
    So looking forward to watching the show on Saturday Dancing Unicorn and it’s lovely that they’ve incorporated a tribute to Errol Pickford . DS says the show is amazing !!
  6. Ballet4Boyz
    There are no words Primrose to describe how utterly heartbreaking your sons story is. A beautiful young man who had his whole life ahead of him. My husband and I are so so sorry and hope you & your family find even just a little strength from the support of your ballet forum friends. Signed & verified Take care xxx
  7. Ballet4Boyz
    Thanks both of you 😊
  8. Ballet4Boyz
    Does anyone know what time the last end of term dance show finishes on Saturday 14th July ? Was wondering if they do a matinee and an evening performance on the last day or just a matinee ?? Thanks all 😊
  9. Ballet4Boyz
    Hi ArucariaBallerina - just the boost you needed at just the right time . Well done you for not giving in despite your recent disappointments. Full scholarship to boot !! Delighted for you 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼x
  10. Ballet4Boyz
    Ive never understood this myself, but it seems to be often the case. When our DS auditioned for all 4 vocational schools a few years ago - it was really apparent to him in the finals that he was the only boy who wasn’t an associate somewhere. At the time - we didn’t know that associate schemes existed and it certainly wasn’t encouraged by his dance school. I can understand totally why teachers would be reluctant for their students to train with multiple schools for their general classes, but associate schemes and productions like EYB and MTB for example (in my opinion) offer fantastic experience - new friendships with like-minded DC (especially boys who might be the only boy at their dance school ), having to adapt to different teaching styles and with EYB/MTB etc - the opportunity to train, rehearse & perform in a full on ballet production ....... surely this experience can only benefit the students ? There does remain the reluctance of some dance teachers to encourage this - it crops up from time to time on this forum and I’ve never managed to work out why !! Surely it’s a win, win all round . Teachers should be able to see their student improving & gaining confidence, students should be able to enjoy & experience something a little different to their normal classes & parents shouldn’t have to act all cloak & dagger !! Maybe I’m missing something 🤪
  11. Ballet4Boyz
    That’s a good idea pictures !! wasnt sure if you could carry on with the lessons (Lamda/vocal) without sitting the exams . That’s something we could consider x
  12. Ballet4Boyz
    Yes Sarah - you’re right, he always seems to have a lot going on and that is something we are looking at . We’re going to review things term by term . He had some health worries from historical health problems last term and further surgery was being considered . Thankfully it’s been decided surgery is not in his best interests at the moment . This was a major worry for him. When I take a step back and look at the whole picture - it’s no wonder he is struggling !! He is usually master of putting a brave face on which is why he can be hard to read . Maybe he hasn’t the energy/ capability of wearing that brave face at the moment & it has become more apparent to us. ......... we’ll do whatever is needed to take the pressure off . He seems better for just getting everything off his chest. He even smiled at me this morning saying “stop worrying mum - I’ll be fine” - we’ll trust his judgement I guess until we have reason not to xx
  13. Ballet4Boyz
    I think this thread has also highlighted that even when a DC is fundamentally happy with the school , dance training , teachers and academics coupled with actually doing well & achieving goals - it isn’t easy - it can be fabulous at times, stressful & challenging at other times . This is compounded I think by boarding and that feeling of no escape !! Useful for other parents & DC to know that everyone struggles from time to time .....even if appearances would never suggest it. Yesterday - all we felt as parents was everything going pear shaped, a subdued son who was expressing serious doubt about continuing. Why was he feeling like this despite doing so well with great reports & loving dancing ?? The posts on here have really helped us to look at things from different perspectives which led to a really open discussion with him. We now understand the reasons why he’s feeling this way - even he feels it just simply a bit of a “bump in the road” and that it’s something he wants to work through. Thank you to all the forum members Xx
  14. Ballet4Boyz
    I’m coming to that conclusion CeliB. I’m aware our DS has had a couple of mini panic attacks at school where he has gone to the toilets and splashed his face with water .... and the feelings have passed !! I also know a high up member of staff is aware & has been/continues to be excellent support for our DS - so it has been recognised by the school as well. I think our DS is a worrier and always probably will be . We had a really good conversation last night and it boils down to the constant pressure he feels under. academic, Lamda, musical theatre, RAD exams, dance assessments, rehearsals for shows & performing in shows and then boarding with certain difficult personality types. At times he says he feels completely overwhelmed as he wants to do the best he can in everything. He loves the school, says he finds it hard but DOES wish to continue as his love of dancing is worth it. We will continue to watch over him, talk with him & assess things regularly. I think as parents we will need to accept his need to off load & realise this may just be how his journey proceeds ....... for as long as he wishes xx
  15. Ballet4Boyz
    Thankfully our DS hasn't had any such problem with any teacher at his school. That sounds just awful - your DS must be very strong & resilient to have coped with that . I know our DS would really struggle with teacher bullying as I think he & all DC at the end of the day wish to please their teachers. Well done to your DS & glad to hear he's managed to work through his problems 👏🏻👏🏻 You're totally right when you say our son may feel under enormous pressure ...... he does , but it's pressure he puts on himself as he's very self critical . He used to watch some of his performances back on DVDs etc - but now refuses & cringes when they are put on - only because he finds constant fault with his technique or performance etc. Hooefully this is just a combination of his age & a bit of self doubt creeping in and questioning what the future holds. Would just add - he's just returned after a day's hard dancing ......... and loved it !! ........ totally different mind set again !! He's so up & down - and we as parents are going up & down with him .......... where's the wine !! Thanks everyone x
  16. Ballet4Boyz
    Thanks Sarah , that’s useful to know x
  17. Ballet4Boyz
    Thanks Ellie - very useful, will get DS to read it 😊
  18. Ballet4Boyz
    Thanks Pictures , that would be really helpful as always - I'm sure it must affect other DC here on the forum too ! x
  19. Ballet4Boyz
    Thanks all again , it has really helped us to know we are not alone and that other DC have wobbles. The thrill and privilege of attending these schools is wonderful and we are so grateful he has been given this opportunity . We think it's also important to discuss the realities of attending vocational schools - it is like we have often said - not an easy journey at times . Thanks for everyone's support on here , my husband and I have felt a little lost with how to help him - but you have given us some good pointers to have these on-going discussions with him xx
  20. Ballet4Boyz
    Thanks balletmum20 😊 Yes he has been progressing really well with his dancing at vocational school and loves all his dance teachers. They would probably be surprised he's having this wobble. He feels physically sick in the run up to performing no matter how well rehearsed he is ..... and it can be for weeks beforehand , not just a few days prior. Nothing bad has ever happened on stage to make him feel this way, but he is a worrier in general & tends to overthink things. Like you say with your DD , having performed - he is on a high and wants to get straight back on stage. We are presently on an Easter course and he says he feels pressure to perform well at the end as he's the only vocational boy on the course and feels like he will be judged. We're hoping this will prove to be a phase that he'll work through with our support. We do feel he'd live to bitterly regret giving dancing up but at the same time if these feelings continue - we'll have to rethink everything . My own mother was a ballet dancer and suffered with her own serious mental health issues - he reminds me of her in so many ways, I'm very conscious of his mental well-being. We may well approach the school to see if they can suggest an older boy who could be someone he talks too and maybe the school could help him with dealing with stage fright. It seems such a shame for him to be feeling this way when fundamentally he loves ballet/dancing and with continued hard work could have potential for a related career. Xx
  21. Ballet4Boyz
    Thank you all - it really helps to get opinions from you all. X
  22. Ballet4Boyz
    ........... should have added, he seems very up & down with it all at the moment and as parents we are wondering if he would be having the same feelings about whatever he may be doing at the moment - not just dance related ? Maybe other parents of similar aged children could be experiencing the same issues ? It was only a few months ago he told us he couldn't imagine his life without dancing in it !!! 😪
  23. Ballet4Boyz
    I'm hoping for some words of wisdom I guess. 🙏🏼 Our DS is doing really well at vocational school, in year 8 and with a classical leaning. He has potential to do well if he continues to work hard as he always has done in the past. He loves his school, the teachers, the academic side and all his dance classes and achieves excellent feedback . He's a hard worker & conscientious. He does however struggle with boarding - the noise, lack of privacy and the odd difficult character to deal with 24/7. He is a home bird, loves the tranquility of home and being with us as a family unit. He also likes the relative freedom of being at home compared with the more structured life at boarding ......... this including more access to the bloomin PlayStation & the various addictive games available. We have explained to him numerous times that when he's at home for holidays & exeat we tend to allow him time to relax & do "what he wants' a little bit more, due to life at vocational school being so demanding , regimented & tiring. We have also explained - if he were at a 'normal' school and living at home - we would be encouraging a lot more structure to his life in general in the time he would have Outwith school. The second problem he has is stage fright. He worries a lot about performing whether it be at open evenings, parents evenings right through to annual dance shows. Once feeling well rehearsed and actually performing - he loves it & the feeling it gives him to take part & perform. The boarding & stage fright is making him think twice about continuing with his training. He is not sure if this is what he wants. He seems to have lost the fire in his belly & his heart doesn't seem to be in it at the moment. As caring parents - we want him to be happy above all else, but do we let him give up and not take advantage of the talent he has . Is this just a passing teenage phase and could he be making the biggest mistake ? We will support him whatever and he says he needs time to think about what he wants. We also think he may be feeling guilty about the financial commitment we have already made !! We know he loves dancing & has potential for the future ............ just so unsure how to advise him x
  24. Ballet4Boyz
    ........ a very honest and brave post Dramascientist , thank you for sharing as it must be a very difficult time for you all. It is so important for us all to realise that the journey of a dancer or any young person following their own path can be so difficult and stressful for them and it doesn't always end up as we/they originally planned. There is no-one to blame ...... it's just 'life' and it's inevitable curve balls. It's how you deal with these situations that matters. You all recognised there was a problem and made the changes necessary to help your daughter heal and find a new path. You sound a lovely caring and strong family. Your daughter will succeed and move forward . Wishing you all the very best and hoping that one day you will all look back and view your daughters dancing days as not all negative but part of her very rich tapestry of life. Good luck to your daughter - it sometimes takes greater strength to change direction than to accept the status quo xx
  25. Ballet4Boyz
    Hi embarrassing mum - no we haven't heard anything either !! Surely the results must come out soon, I've heard it's via email but not sure ! Can anyone enlighten us ? thanks 😊
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