Lifeafterballet

Schools tend to use their “affiliation” with certain companies as a way of attracting students. But if you actually research how many students are offered contracts you can count them on one hand 😞 Don’t be taken in by the glossy magazine. I follow Tring on social media, don’t know why really 🤣 but a couple of weeks ago they posted a congratulations to a graduate student who had completed their performing arts course and A levels and had secured a place at University to study I think it was Geography. I was very impressed by this. It’s the first time I’ve seen a school say well done to a student who seeks another path. They appear, correct me if I’m wrong, to celebrate all their graduates, even if they choose another career, not miss them off the list as I’ve seen others sadly do 😢 I’m my opinion, that means a lot x

Ds was offered an unfunded place for 6th form at Tring. We visited the school 3 times. We both really loved the atmosphere/ vibe and the academic side of it. Having experienced a ballet lower school I felt it was a more diverse environment that was less intense and more “normal” I can’t think of another way of describing it ! It would have really suited him but we couldn’t afford it. Whereas Dd flatly refused to go to the audition for 6th form as she felt it wasn’t classical enough for her and although she enjoyed other forms of dance it wasn’t what she truly wanted to do. I myself love the mixture of courses and students ☺️

I know of a few students who have attended all 4 schools during years 7 to graduate. Theirs and their parents views / comparisons who be interesting 🤔

BRB have taken on a lot of dancers for their Cinderella production this year. Using pupils from Elmhurst and ENBS and some graduated dancers on short term paid contracts. They must have a lot of “bubbles” going on as they did with Nutcracker. Fantastic opportunity for work experience with them. Shame they aren’t paying them all. Both my dc toured with BRB whilst students for free so I’m pleased to see them hiring and paying unemployed dancers too ☺️

Beautiful tutu is still waiting to take to the stage again ☺️ Open to offers x

Check out Malvern Summer Intensive they have some fantastic faculty this year ☺️ Ds will be back in Europe so sadly can’t attend this year 😢

My Dd gave 110%. She was the most dedicated, hard working student who didn’t smoke, drink vast quantities of alcohol, take drugs or participate in risky behaviours. She was very organised, controlled and passionate to the point of obsession. She didn’t bow to peer pressure and fell/got left behind. Perhaps this was the problem and why she secretly suffered from self doubt and anxiety towards the end 🤔Maybe if she had just been that bit rebellious and had the odd cigarette with her peers then her journey may have been less painful 😣 I had a “normal” upbringing and was rebellious and pushed boundaries. Dd is now living “normal” and it gives me so much pleasure to watch her experience it 😃 I have Covid to thank for that. That’s the only thing I thank it for. Somewhere in her 8 years of vocational training she lost or never developed her identity, other than that of a ballet dancer. I read somewhere that some of the most successful ballet dancers were a nightmare at school. I’m not sure if it’s true, but if it is, it may be that they discovered a balance between dedication and fun and this helped them cope in the ballet world ? Smoking Kills, it says on the packet. Im not advocating it as a huge part of my work is Cardiac Rehab and smoking secession. But in the grand scheme of things the Ballet Bubble can be a suffocating place and I believe a little bit of rebellion is healthy ☺️

When our children start vocational school we have boundaries. They breach them, we set new ones. We do this because we love and support them and their dream. It’s the dream that is the problem. Once on this path it is so so difficult to get off. We have made so many excuses for our children’s behaviours and attempted to justify them. Our thinking and rationalisation becomes distorted. It’s only when you step back that you see it clearly. This process sadly takes years in some cases and leaves you with immense feelings of guilt for not upholding those original boundaries. Would you really bring them home at the first offence ? I surely wish we had x

I personally and professionally have always discouraged my children from smoking. It says on the box what it does 😢From experience I feel that there is a lot more concerning behaviours going on at vocational school. Alcohol, self harm, class B/A drugs as well as the disorders of eating. If it’s the occasional cigarette, the normal kind, then that would be the least of my worries.

Elmhurst US add school and accommodation fees together and then Dada it. This made it more affordable to us as a middle income earning family. Compared to ENBS where it would have cost us £5000 a year more even with the Dada 😅 It does all depend on your income and eligibility for the maintenance grants. I would ask the schools finance department and get them to give you a break down. Some schools have internal bursaries/sponsors to help families with costs. Worth asking x

Hi, I’ve had a Ds who attended US and graduated 2 years ago and a Dd who did the whole 8 years 😅 They aren’t current but I am happy to be of help x

IMPO Elmhurst just gets the edge if the intension is a classical ballet career but if you have a Ds both schools are good. My Ds didn’t get funding for Tring but we would have happily let him go there for sixth form on what we saw. Dd didn’t apply. Check out the graduate destinations for the men. The A levels at Elmhurst are well supported by the academic staff, especially Maths, fabulous teacher. My Dc achieved good results. But we felt there was some time conflict between the artistic and academic timetable and unless your Ds/Dd is motivated to secure a plan B back up they could easily drop out. I am happy to answer specific questions if you Dm me ☺️

Dd/Ds attended associate classes prior to entering vocational school then stopped. Some continued them secretly. Mainly to keep in contact with a preferred school I think. After dancing for 5 and a half days a week, time off is necessary as previously mentioned, for recovery and injury prevention. It can be a bit of an overload too. If the dc is not enjoying the classes then stop. Dd and Ds have both experienced classes that made them unhappy. Its heartbreaking to watch the love and passion sucked out of them. Also, it’s harder to address that in a vocational setting and you just grin and bare it sadly 😢 It easier to raise concerns with associate classes I feel.

Talking of gymnastics.... https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-56858863 Well done Sarah Voss. Leading the way in women’s sports 💪☺️ Voss explained her decision in an interview with public broadcaster ZDF: "We women all want to feel good in our skin. In the sport of gymnastics it gets harder and harder as you grow out of your child's body. As a little girl I didn't see the tight gym outfits as such a big deal. But when puberty began, when my period came, I began feeling increasingly uncomfortable."

This beautiful tutu is still available ☺️ Open to offers x Chest 30 in/75cm Waist 24 in/60cm Hips 29 in/73cm Girth 51 in/130cm Dd is a petite 5ft 3.

I think my Dd chose poorly in doing ballet 🤔 There seems to be lots of job opportunities in Belly Dancing 🤣

The effects of teachers appearing to judge a child based on their development can be catastrophic. It’s bad enough that they all judge themselves and each other. My Dd was a perfectly happy and developing 11 to 13 year old. At the beginning of year 9 she noticed that it appeared to be the slimmer girls who were favoured. One would eat an apple then run up and down the stairs to burn it off. There were secret evening cardio workouts in bedrooms and a ridiculous amount of sit-ups. My Dd decided to stop eating snacks. The weight loss was subtle to start with then became more noticeable. After the year 9 appraisal I had a telephone call from the Medical Centre nurse who described her as “skeletal”. Those words will haunt me forever 😢 we hadn’t seen her in 3 weeks. We didn’t live close to the school so Dd was unable to travel home every weekend and the internet in the accommodation was poor so FaceTime was impossible. We immediately collected her. She cried and said she hadn’t meant for it to go this far. That year she passed that appraisal with flying colours, won two scholarships for summer schools and was awarded a ballet prize. How could we convince her that it was all wrong when she had so much success. This was the beginning of a disorder of eating and body image that would last for a long long time. The behaviours spread through the year group like a plague. The regular heights and weights started and the “pulling off dance”. There were secrets and whispers. Sadly very few of the girls supported each other. Dd had some really hurtful things said to her. We wanted her home and she wanted to dance. On reflection we should have been stronger and took her out. The environment, culture and the ballet world wasn’t going to get any better and neither was she until she left. She can pinpoint the exact moment it all changed for her and she became unhappy with her body. We were very naive and didn’t really know how to handle it. Sadly, the school didn’t seem to know either 😢 The healing process is a long journey x Please don’t allow anyone to make your daughter feel that her developing is wrong and detrimental to her ballet. Celebrate her beautiful changing body. Dd and I can’t wait to go bra shopping ☺️ A little later than planned but at least we made it out the other side 💪

My Dd was at finals 4 years ago and they really pushed it as a selling point then 😏

Just wondering if there is any happy news for this years, and last years, graduates. I've heard of a couple of “big” contract successes 🤫 The others have been “parent pays” apprenticeship opportunities with the added US/EU visa difficulties. I still get a lot of job pop ups on my social media and share them, but there isn’t a lot about 😢

All items now sold 😌

Ds didn’t start ballet til he was 12 and his brother 14. None of their friends knew. They were both county runners and played school and club rugby, attending county training weekly too. I don’t know how we fitted it all in 😅 Lots of lists 🤣 It wasn’t til Ds did Lord of the Flies with Matthew Bourne and his mates came to watch/support him that he admitted his love of ballet. We even did Elmhurst Associates and then RBS SAs on a Saturday in Covent Garden from our home in Cornwall. The train journey was fab for homework. He went to vocational school at 17 and up til then led a very active normal life. If you can, keep the other activities going. Dd gave up all her sports etc for ballet at 11. She would have had a happier time I’m sure if there had been some sport at her vocational school. I can’t really understand why they can’t play team sports like Netball etc. Something to get them outside and active.

Hello, sorry it has been sold x

I like whistle blowers 😊 Most positive change is initiated by those who were brave enough to stick their head above the parapet and share their experiences. Athlete A comes to mind. The fear is that you would be left standing alone. In my experience, parents are very good at talking about issues between them on their private forums but sadly not brave enough to raise them for fear of repercussions. We stayed silent in a lot of issues that we shouldn’t have 😢

I totally agree with the feelings of loneliness 😢 Having 8 years of “filtering” and “airbrushing” our ballet journey with positive pictures and successful posts I decided not to do that anymore. To move forward with honesty and share the lows and the raw reality of vocational training. As well as the good 😌 Not to slope away quietly and feel embarrassed by Dds decision to stop dancing. We are immensely proud of her resilience and guts 💪 Parents need a balanced sharing of experiences. To know what is behind the glossy exterior and media hype so they can make informed decisions about who they can trust with their child’s care.

Yumiko Anna and skirt now sold ☺️