balletmom225

Yes, I think so too. Hmm, what do you mean by that?

This is true too... I'm not sure how much her technique is struggling, but her lines and aesthetic definitely are.

They have said, in passing, to me, that she could consider another path. And she told me one teacher asked her if she really wanted to pursue ballet, and she didn't know how to respond. They have an intensive ballet program that she's in -- about 16 hours of classes a week. The less intensive program could be between 4 and 8 hours. Booking an appointment with them sounds doable, and I appreciate your insights. She has said things to me about it. The other girls make some comments like "your boobs are sticking out" or "why aren't you wearing a bra?" (She isn't allowed to wear a bra in ballet class). And the moms make insensitive comments to me as well.

Again, it seems so unlikely to me they would catch up. She's more mature than the high schoolers at 10! But yes, her teachers seem to be acting out of hand and not respecting her as a student

I think I may have had an unrealistic expectation, too, as I danced professionally and wanted the same for her. Of course, there are bumps in the road and I would rather do what will make her happy. This is what I'm saying with the honesty, too. If it won't happen, it won't happen. I'd rather accept that now and avoid future embarrassment and disappointment than let her continue where she isn't really wanted. I do want to put her emotional well being first! I think a new environment is a good first step.

Thank you! And I agree, thanks to everyone! I do want to protect her, just not sure how at the moment.

Unfortunately, her teachers do not seem to be able to budge. The leotard conversation has been had and never successful. It's so hard too, with the parents, they try to make funny comments like "wow she's really bloomed!" or the girls say to her, "your boobs are sticking out so much." Looking elsewhere seems like our best bet.

Yes, exactly. Thank you for understanding. The pale colored leotard with no coverage, designed for 10 year olds, is not flattering on my daughter. I asked about options for a bra underneath and was quickly shot down. Though she very obviously needs it. So true about the physical level -- her flexibility is struggling too as is her center of gravity. She can't be moved up a level, but I am thinking of finding other schools with less strict dress codes, maybe even a studio with other styles.

Her teachers are old-fashioned and think that my daughter doesn't fit with the mold of their studio. It's not a great environment. My daughter is uneasy about her appearance and lightly teased by her peers, so I thought "leaving ballet" might be a better option. Being out of the leotard could make her differences less highlighted and obvious. The classes are structured kind of by age and ability both, her class is mostly 5th, a few 6th graders (she is in 5th and young for her grade, but the only one with breasts). I think my greatest concern here is putting her emotional development first. Of course we would both be sad to stop ballet, but I would rather avoid the teasing, embarrassment, and possibility for future damage.

She does enjoy ballet but I think she is finding it more and more difficult to be so far ahead of the other girls. Her friends tease her a bit and the other mothers joke about it to me - the environment feels toxic. By "lie," I only meant should I tell her the truth that we're leaving due to discomfort around her body, or should I say it is for another reason. And regarding the other girls catching up, it seems unlikely. My daughter has really blossomed and definitely has a larger bust than most of the high school-aged girls at the studio. This isn't typical in our family or fitting with her slim body type, so I think we are all more than a little surprised too.

I think her teachers are old-fashioned in their views, as well as concerned, along with me, about the teasing and discomfort that comes with being the only developed girl in her class. I'm not sure this studio is the right fit for her anymore, and would rather sacrifice quality of training than sacrifice her self-esteem.

Hi everyone, My 10-year-old has hit puberty pretty early -- she developed a lot throughout last year and this year and is much more physically mature than any of her classmates. She's still slim, she just looks closer to 14 when she is only 10. She has danced at a serious ballet school since she was young and has shown a lot of promise, but her teachers have hinted they think she should move to their less intensive ballet program. I think this is the right choice, considering it seems to be emotionally difficult for her to dance next to tiny, flat-chested girls when she has already gone through several cups in the last year or so. Does anyone have ideas for what we should do next? I don't want her to feel guilty but also don't know if I should lie about why she's leaving ballet. We could try the less intensive program or maybe some different styles. Thanks so much for your input.