Lifeafterballet

Dd flew to Florida last February to audition for 3 companies. Her brother was already at one of them. She was offered a junior contract at another and the ballet company applied for the visa petition in March. It cost us just short of $1000 and took until October to come through. Ds flew home at the end of March following the closure of his company due to Covid. His visa, for this season, was paid for by the company and his petition came through in May. The US embassy in London, where you have to arrange a face to face interview, following receiving your visa petition, more £££, kept rescheduling his appointments until they finally closed with a proposed opening date of August 2021. So nether could fly to the US. Dds company have been performing since before Christmas and Dss have not yet recalled their international dancers and continue to perform with the 12 local ones they kept on. I can’t see anything changing in the US for some time yet. Also, flying to the US for auditions isn’t cheap and most are very very busy open ones. You need to do your research thoroughly before getting in a plane. I am happy to share our experiences xx

You don’t have any reason to apologise ☺️ We too were very novice when we first started on our journey. We don’t want to put people off vocational training, just try to help parents and their dc prepare for the inevitable bumps along the way. There is so much shame and embarrassment around struggling, “ It is ok, not to be ok.” We need to start talking about and sharing our experiences no slopping off quietly into the night. Dds journey had its up and downs and she had some fantastic and inspiration teachers, ballet and academic ones, along the way. And then there are the ones who just shouldn’t teach, it obviously pains them 😏x

Having had dc graduate in 2019 and 2020, 2021 is going to be very tough 😢, especially for girls. All the boys in Ds and Dds years secured contracts, only a couple of the girls had paid contracts, the majority going onto apprenticeships etc that parents pay for. The school have a post graduate program, usually for one girl and one boy, but last year that was extended to all those who didn’t have a contract or other place to go. They are classed as staff and have duties to perform in exchange for ballet classes. This gives them the opportunity to re audition for contracts this year. So sadly it isn’t just this years graduates, it’s last years, the year before and all those who have lost their jobs due to Covid and companies shedding dancers 😭 Dd was lucky to gain a paid contract in the US, but due to Covid the US embassy will remain closed until August 2021, so no visa. If she had not stopped, for other reasons, she would have been waiting over 18 months to start her job. Living in the deepest south west training opportunities are limited so it would have been very difficult to maintain ballet fitness etc. There are a few post graduate courses popping up around the country that 6:3s could consider. Having gone through the company audition process twice now I personally feel that the international competition is incredibly strong. Dd danced with lots of international dancers at YAGP, short term placements and summer intensives and knew the competition. In my experience it’s sometimes who you know that gets you ahead, a determined AD and or teacher can be invaluable in getting your dc into that audition class. It is only slightly easier for boys and on a positive Ds secured a fantastic ballet company contract in Europe during the pandemic having had to give up on his US one. As I’ve said before, plan B is essential. A levels are important for University applications. Don’t let the school get away with reassuring your Dc that they will get a dance job and not help them explore other opportunities or avenues. I truly feel for this generation of dancers and wish all your dc all the luck in the world xx

The MDS offer was from Elmhurst. They had already chosen their 12 girls in the March, Dd was number 13. This was from a time when they had a set number of students for year 7 x

And on the actual topic in discussion, Dd got a no for WL and Elmhurst for year 7. We were very green, she only did one ballet class a week til aged 10, then JAs in year 6. She was spotted 3 months later and offered an MDS place. We thought we were the luckiest people in the world. We have seen a huge amount of students pass through her year group, moving on for a whole variety of reasons. Getting in is the first rung of a very tall ladder with an unknown destination xx

I too previously would have laughed at your post, and don’t get me wrong, I’m not being horrid, but our experience has made us feel very cautious about the ballet world. As a family we didn’t even have scales in our home. Never calculated a BMI or felt the need too. Then Dd entered year 9 of vocational training, the stressful assessing out year, and her BMI became a huge part of our lives 😞 The following regular “heights and weights” in Med Centre and the threats to take her off dance and punishingly make her watch her peers😢 The monitoring and prescription build up drinks. The nasty comments, tears and isolation. Anyone would think that in ballet this was a new phenomenon. Disorders of eating and body dysmorphia are common place in our experience. That year was when the damage was done 😖 Six years on and we are still dealing with the ghosts of that time. All the perceived success in the world can’t put it right. I really hate to be the grim reaper in what it seems are a majority of my posts but I feel that there isn’t a balanced sharing of experiences in the ballet world. Perhaps we need a breakthrough 🤔

https://www.pointemagazine.com/saying-goodbye-ballet-how-to-cope-when-you-reach-a-turning-point-2640877111.html?share_id=4952644&fbclid=IwAR1pyaEhaCIgUeQhqDzTCfGurz0WGHqH0TKrtCjbEKbxx4psa_ockYMFVlA

Where’s all the Americans 🤔 and are there only 6 ladies ?

Finalists have just been announced on social media x

Thank you for sharing your blog. Your vocational journey and experiences echo ours and I’m sure many other students and parents 😢 It is time to be brave and honest and to step out from the shadows and share the reality and truth about ballet training.

Saw this on social media today ☺️ https://ibb.co/wghGRQh

Dd has had a plan B from the beginning of 6:1. She worked hard at academics, and they have paid off. We found the school very unsupportive of considering an alternative career in 6:3. I get that they are there to be ballet dancers, but it’s important they have ideas and prepare for unexpected injuries or a world pandemic 😷

This is so true, Dd used to feel very guilty for all the money we had spent on her training and all the sacrifices we have made as a family. It was never an investment that we expected to reap a return from, it was about pursuing a love and passion for something and being realistic about what the end point would be x

@glowlight Thank you for sharing your Dds experience and so happy for her that she had a wonderful dancing career ☺️ As you say Dd has gained so many valuable and transferable skills during her vocational years. She has gained a place at her first choice university to do a BSc in Sport Rehabilitation. All her experience of the physical and psychological side of injury will help her practice holistically and with empathy in her future career x

I posted a birthday picture on social media today for Dd 🥳 It was taken exactly a year ago, she was smiling and dancing for royal visitors that day and the picture later appeared in Hello magazine. I then looked back at my social media account, all the proud parent moments shared with family and friends over the passed 8 years, all positive, happy and successful. Not a hint of the trauma and the pain 😢 that we have all been through. Next to that picture on my phone I have a picture of her fractured foot that she danced on that day and then performed and auditioned on. I have never shared that one. I also have a picture of the MRI report of Ds’s L2 stress fracture from the year before. Both of these make me sick and feel so guilty that as a loving parent I allowed them to push through, to deny pain, postpone scans and have physios strap them up so they could carry on performing. All this in pursuit of a ballet career. My ballet brain fog is just starting to clear and I am starting to reflect on the passed 8 years and what we could have, should have done differently. Why did we not speak up ? I’m mortified by our silence and ignorance. We as a ballet community rarely share our experiences. We fear the repercussions of speaking out. We celebrate our successes and remain silent about the reality of the full time training rollercoaster. My husband and I are guilty of failing to protect our children from the both physical and psychological damage that vocational training can cause. The self doubt, low self esteem, self judging and fear of being judged by others. The shame of joining the long queue for emotional support 😢 There are some amazing and happy times too in my photo album. It wasn’t all bad. But I have decided not to dwell on it and not to just disappear quietly as if embarrassed and make excuses for Dd. We want to share the truth. Dd has quit ballet. She fell out of love with it a long time ago. She outgrew it. That 11 year old who wanted to be a ballet dancer is now a beautiful, intelligent young woman with a whole new life ahead of her. Her passion, drive and ambition will continue in a different career. Covid actually helped her and gave her the breathing space she needed to make the difficult choice to start plan B early. The physical and psychological healing and recovery has only just begun but I see her happy like I haven’t seen her in years. There are so many informative threads and discussions on this forum about getting into vocational training but very little shared experiences on completing or leaving training. I want to hear about those Dds and Dss that chose different paths. So very few who train vocationally actually have a career in ballet. 2020/21 has been particularly sad 😢 but there must be some positive stories to share.

Is this referring to vocational school auditions only or graduates applying for companies ?

Leotard now sold ☺️

Pictures https://ibb.co/PTB13Y1 https://ibb.co/Rc86tBN

Wear Moi pale grey leotard now sold ☺️

Lucinda mesh skirt now sold ☺️

Sold ☺️

I have no experience of this school but if you go into the results page on their website and see their past pupils competition wins there maybe someone listed who could help you. I recognise a couple of past pupils on that list who are open on social media x

Tutu now sold ☺️

Sansha warm up suit, size 3, beautiful coloured stripes, excellent condition. £20 inc delivery. https://ibb.co/CnKZHc9 https://ibb.co/NtnG8GG

Elmhurst year 7/8 character skirt, old Elm colours in the ribbons. Black with side Velcro fastening. Made by Dancing Boutique. Excellent condition. £25 inc delivery. https://ibb.co/Lr26MWT