Lisa O`Brien Posted September 17, 2012 Share Posted September 17, 2012 Me also,famcandance2. Hope your situation resolves itself for the better.Keep your chin up [often easier said than done,i know.!!] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pups_mum Posted September 17, 2012 Share Posted September 17, 2012 Sorry to hear there's no progress with the Hammond famcandance2. Have you had any joy with looking for another local dance school? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JulieW Posted September 17, 2012 Share Posted September 17, 2012 I really hope that she settles in well to her new school and I suppose if Hammond is your only option then all you can do is try again for a funded place. It's sad that there are lots of talented children around the country who just don't have access to good training and may never fulfil their early potential but I suppose you could also say that about lots of sports too. Your daughter obviously has something that the school likes so hopefully her opportunity will come later if she continues to work hard at what local training she does have. It's all a bit of a lottery for everyone in this ballet training lark - even those who do get full-time vocational training don't always actually end up making a career out of it, which is why we talk a lot about trying to enjoy the journey as the destination may change along the way. My dd was very disappointed initially that she couldn't follow in her brother's footsteps but she's found something else that she's just as enthusiastic about. It's hard when you've got one at vocational school and the other would love to be there too! I wish your dd lots of luck. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
balletla Posted September 17, 2012 Share Posted September 17, 2012 Well if Hammond is the only option and she can't go there because she has no funding/boarding place and there is no local training that is good enough or not full up, and you can't move or travel because of your circumstances, then perhaps you have to concede that you aren't in a position to support your child's aspirations. Many parents aren't able to support all kinds of aspirations for their children for all sorts of reasons and it's no-one's fault. However many others make incredible sacrifices that I certainly wouldn't be prepared to make. There is no right or wrong, just different approaches. Sorry if you interpret that comment or any others negatively rather than the straightforward, logical, honest, unflowery advice it is meant to be which is intended to be helpful in this very tough and unforgiving world. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pups_mum Posted September 17, 2012 Share Posted September 17, 2012 Well if Hammond is the only option and she can't go there because she has no funding/boarding place and there is no local training that is good enough or not full up, and you can't move or travel because of your circumstances, then perhaps you have to concede that you aren't in a position to support your child's aspirations. Many parents aren't able to support all kinds of aspirations for their children for all sorts of reasons and it's no-one's fault. However many others make incredible sacrifices that I certainly wouldn't be prepared to make. There is no right or wrong, just different approaches. Sorry if you interpret that comment or any others negatively rather than the straightforward, logical, honest, unflowery advice it is meant to be which is intended to be helpful in this very tough and unforgiving world. That is very true ribbons, and I think sometimes there is more happiness to be had in accepting that certain things just can't be rather than pushing relentlessly at a closed door. However, reaching that decision is a very individual thing. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa O`Brien Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 I think i saw a news item about 18 months ago about a family whose daughter was [i think] at Elmhurst,and they had decided to live permanently in a B and B as it was cheaper than the mortgage and that way they could afford the fees too. Thought it a bit extreme,to be honest.But suppose you have to admire their determination. Personally i would only go to such extremes if my child was incredibly gifted. But then that child would,if so gifted,already have the place at the best school with all the funding or a scholarship that goes with it anyway. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tutoo2much Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 I saw a programme about a family whose parents sold their home and lived in a Travelodge so their daughter could attend Italia Conti. Might have been Got to Dance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anna C Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 As admirable as that is, it leaves no scope for injury, change in physique, being assessed out, or even "Mum, Dad, I don't want to be a singer/dancer/actor any more, I actually want to be a Doctor/Zookeeper/whatever". It's such a huge amount of pressure on young shoulders! In effect you're saying "We sold our house so you can do this, you HAVE to succeed". 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jellybeans Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 People do go to extreme lengths and there was another story a while ago about a family who sold up and moved in with grandparents. I think this is a very personal decision as it would put incredible pressure on other family members and also on the dancer who would feel under pressure to to be successful. I think the quays made a good point in saying that a truly talented child would not have to make such sacrifices as funding etc would be readily available and for others it is probably not worth considering! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anna C Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Well we've had this discussion before... :-) There are so few funded places in the UK that it can't be the case that no funding = not talented enough. What it means is that those who can shine on the day, and who have the right physique and potential at that time, are in with a chance of a funded place. It does not allow for having an off day, going through a growth spurt, or simply developing physique/technique/confidence/performance at a different rate! Some children are ready to shine at 10, others at 12, 14 or 15. For those later developers it's vital to keep up enough good quality training if they are to have any hope of training at 16. If that is not possible, then sadly, yes, it might be time for a re-think. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomuchtallent Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Someone like me wouldn't qualify for a mds,maybe a scholarship but even then im not sure if they can do that for overseas students! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jellybeans Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Well we've had this discussion before... :-) There are so few funded places in the UK that it can't be the case that no funding = not talented enough. What it means is that those who can shine on the day, and who have the right physique and potential at that time, are in with a chance of a funded place. It does not allow for having an off day, going through a growth spurt, or simply developing physique/technique/confidence/performance at a different rate! Some children are ready to shine at 10, others at 12, 14 or 15. For those later developers it's vital to keep up enough good quality training if they are to have any hope of training at 16. If that is not possible, then sadly, yes, it might be time for a re-think. I did not mean that it is not worth considering a career, I meant that it is probably not worth making major, life changing sacrifices at that stage. it must be remembered that while funded places are few and far between, so are jobs, and, perhaps, it is a vocation best followed only if the path is ready paved for you! this may mean that young hearts may be broken, but they mend easily at that age as well! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
famcandance2 Posted September 18, 2012 Author Share Posted September 18, 2012 I think it would easier for us if there was a good local school for her to attend. With the lack of good schools it isn't easy to accept that she can't get the training she needs and when you know she should be at a vocational school, it's even worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa O`Brien Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 I saw a programme about a family whose parents sold their home and lived in a Travelodge so their daughter could attend Italia Conti. Might have been Got to Dance. Yes,that`s it,i remember now,she was a Italia Conti. Even so,wow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anna C Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Famcandance, how far from you are the Scottish Associate schemes, if you don't mind me asking? Would one be at all possible? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairytoes Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 I hope I can offer a little bit of advice as we were in a similar position to you last year. Not the vocational side as DD is only 10 and we are not in the UK but the local dance school topic. My DD is a very keen little ballerina and for her to attend a school that focused mainly on the ballet aspect we had to travel over 400 miles every week. As you pointed out this is extremely expensive, time consuming and having to finish school early to get her to class on time! Well we hung in there as DD was sooooo happy and she loved the school as much as they loved her. After just over a year we financially could not keep her there and had to leave very sadly:(( Unfortunately we do not have dance schools around us that really focus on the ballet aspect. Our decision was we either take what is on offer or she can't dance at all. We enrolled with a local school this summer. I am not going to say it would be our 1st choice for ballet but she is taking lessons again and is happy to be back doing her plies etc:))). It is very hard when you can't find what you know is right for your DD/DS but sometimes we may have to compromise a little, hopefully for not to long but until the situation changes and we can hopefully put plan A into action;)). xxx 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aurora Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Perhaps it would be best for now to just put your dd in a local school just so she is at least doing some dance. Maybe you could manage a monthly rather than weekly associate programme and other than that get her into good summer programmes, at least a couple to help keep her up to speed or as much as possible anyway. There are probably some Easter courses around too. Maybe travel to a good teacher for a 2 hour monthly private lesson or something too? All pretty costly but less than Hammond fees at least! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
primrose Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 I know of two girls at different times who were offered places at White Loge but were not offered a boarding place. Both girls had to turn their places down as they were unable to travel the vast distance on a daily basis. Both are now in 6th form voc schools one ENB and the other Central. Both girls carried on with their associate classes and regular dance schools, I know one may have carried on auditioning but the time wasnt right for her. Anyway they are both doing very well in their Vocational schools now. Its very rare I think that the Ballet route runs smoothly and I do believe that it makes the person stronger emotionally when they have to fight for what they want. Famcandance2 If I were you, I would let things settle and try again next year or wait until she is 16. If the Hammond really wanted your dd, then they would have found her a boarding place somewhere. I know they have had people board outside the school and have actually moved people from their own boarding facilities to an outside boarding place as that was what was better for the student. Allow yourself and your dd to heal and then move on. I just thought I would let you know that I also have a disabled child with physcial and medical problems at home and a husband who is away in Afghan. Yes it can be hard, I have three children in all. My dd did do RBS associates in London, and I took my son with me if my hubby couldnt have him. She would also do classes in Birmingham and again my son would come aswell. We do not have any family members nearby so we have to do it all ourselves. When Heather went to Russia, my son had to come aswell. Life can be hard for many people, but I would say that one of the biggest barriers to a childs training is money. 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taxi4ballet Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 Famcandance, is Hammond keeping your dd's place open? If I were you I would be on the phone to them every few days, to keep on checking whether someone has had to give up their boarding/funded place. If you keep on pestering them, they won't forget about your dd if a space suddenly does become available! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
famcandance2 Posted September 19, 2012 Author Share Posted September 19, 2012 I am badgering Hammond all the time, but seem to be getting no-where. I was certainly told by the headteacher that it wasn't too late for her to attend still. Apparently a few of the people who have boarded kids before have left and some are unwell so are not taking boarders at this time. We are about 2 hours away from the nearest associate programme, but as I said before, there are only two and they are both full. It isn't about putting her in any dance school so she can dance, as there are only hip hop classes here and thats not going to help her. There is one school that does some ballet, but they use unqualified teachers so I am a bit nervous of her going there in case of injury. She always does summer schools but obviously these are only helpful alongside regular training. Anyway, thanks for all the helpful advice, it is appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aurora Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 Where has she been training up to now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pups_mum Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 Famcandance2 - I know you have been making a substantial journey south to take your daughter to class but that you're no longer happy with that school. Have you looked into what similar length journeys in other directions might offer? There must be somewhere within that radius surely? Have you tried ringing the big dance organisations like the RAD/ISTD/IDTA etc to ask where their nearest registered teacher to you is? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aurora Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 RAD and IDTA have a teacher search facility on their websites. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairytoes Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 Just saw on the RBS website that they are holding a workshop at The Dance School Of Scotland on Wednesday 17th October & Thursday 18th October. Teacher & parent observation is allowed through the workshop. Maybe something to consider if your interested. I can't remember the closing date for applications you would need to look at the RBS website. Wish we were going;)). 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
famcandance2 Posted September 19, 2012 Author Share Posted September 19, 2012 I have tried my best to find a school in this radius. Even these organisations admit that our area is a really hard area and has always been a hard area to find anything. The school that is so far away is the only option and I am trying to weigh up whether I can afford to take her there. Between the fees and the petrol it is going to quite expensive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
primrose Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 I suppose you would have to work out how much you would have had to pay for the costs of the Hammond school (you mention you didnt have funding) compared to how much you are able afford to pay for petrol and the new school. Good luck with it all. Am I right in understanding that you live in the Carlisle area. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairytoes Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 famcandance I would certainly consider trying the dance school that is further away. Yes it is expensive and extremely time consuming. As I mentioned in my above post we travelled 135 round trip 3 times a week on Tuesdays, Wednesdays & Fridays!!. Our thoughts were if we don't try we will never know!. It was the best decision we ever made even though we could only afford to do it for just over a year. DD knew from the start that it probably would not be long term. From the very beginning we explained to the school about the commute etc. DD was assessed by the school and then they bent over backwards to accommodate which classes she would be doing, taking careful consideration in the time it took us to get to the school to make sure we could get there in a CALMLY manner without running round like a headless chicken;)). hopefully that may help your decision a little xxxx 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
famcandance2 Posted September 19, 2012 Author Share Posted September 19, 2012 No we live in the Borders. Thanks everyone. Yes it may be less than Hammond fees but it is also wear and tear on the car, etc and practicality. This school seems keen to have her so will see. Thanks for workshop info, will definitely investigate that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
primrose Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 Just wondering how you and your daughter are getting on this week and hope that things have improved for both of you. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
famcandance2 Posted September 27, 2012 Author Share Posted September 27, 2012 Just wanted to let you all know that I have a much happier girl. We went to the "far away" school last night to get her assessed and see where she was at with view to joining the school. I am happy to say that the lady was wonderful and very knowledgeable and has been teaching for many years. She doesn't allow snobbery or bad attitude in her classes and seems to praise the students a lot thus boosting their confidence and egging them on to do better. My dd will be doing intermediate jazz, private tap lessons, and both grade 5 and intermediate ballet. She is so excited! The teacher said she was a very good dancer who picked things up fast and although there are things to work on, once she has been taught properly for a while, she could see her being very good. At Last! Someone who is seeing the potential I have been seeing. On subject of the Hammond, we are setting half term as the cut off point and if nothing has happened by then, we are giving up on that one for this year. Thank you for all the positive help and suggestions I have received on this forum, you are all fantastic. x 17 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairytoes Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 Oh I am so thrilled to hear your great news!!. It sounds like you had an extremely positive experience at the school:) I hope your DD enjoys all her new classes & please keep us updated on how she is getting on. xxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amum/Cathy Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 Great news, and here's hoping your dd enjoys herself there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fiz Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 Oh, I do hope she will be happy there! That's great! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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