Children on instagram

[Millicent]

I am very torn on this topic. I have never been a fan of social media and am strict with screen access for my children. However, my daughter's friends all now have Instagram accounts, which I follow and will occasionally show my daughter the odd picture etc. I am wondering if there is actually any benefit to having an Instagram account for her. 

 

I have some lovely pictures of her dancing but I keep asking myself what my motivation would be in sharing them. Is it anything other than showing off? 🤔 

 

I never post on Instagram myself but perhaps hypocritically enjoy looking through other people's photos! 

 

My daughter would love it and would enjoy posting pictures of things like her artwork or our pets as well as dance things. I guess I'm just trying to think through the implications and whether it would be more healthy in the long run just to stay clear of it as long as I can. She's in Y5 at school and it would only be on my phone, not hers. 

 

Just wondering if other parents have the same dilemma or am I being old-fashioned?!

[NeverTooOld]

My children are now 13 and 15 (daughter is the 15 year old) and I agree it is a total minefield! My daughter's first Instagram account didn't have her real name on and she only used it for posting photos of cakes that she had baked and decorated. She then changed it to sharing scenic photos that she had taken. She only accepted friend requests from people she knew well and we made sure the privacy settings were all locked down properly. Now she is older, she still doesn't really share anything on it and also has a Facebook account but again, doesn't share any photos of herself or friends. She mainly uses Instagram to follow her friends and Facebook to keep in touch with her Nan and overseas family. I've found that they have both had a huge amount of information etc shared from school (we are in the UK) but we have also talked a lot about it at home including watch points, dangers, pitfalls etc so they have all of the information they need. We have also made it clear that it is a privilege based on trust and if the trust is broken, the privilege is taken away. They have both always been very open about sharing any concerns etc with us, even if it doesn't directly involve them. You know your own children the best so know what they will cope with etc but I think there comes a point where you have to trust that you have taught them all that they need to know to stay safe etc and then just keep the lines of communication open. Year 5 is still very young, mine were probably year 8 before they had their own accounts, but if it is your account on your phone then you can keep a close eye on it. Hope this helps and good luck.

 

[Neverdancedjustamum]

I totally understand your dilemma and can sympathise. My DD is in the same situation although she’s slightly older than your DD. However, call me old fashioned but i still maintain that Instagram I believe has a minimum age of 13 to start an account. There is a minimum age for a reason and truth be told, I personally think 13 is still too young. I would prefer it to be more like 16 and my kids know that and make fun of me but I don’t mind. I know a lot of kids’ accounts have a disclaimer as being “parent monitored” but would this actually stop strangers looking at kids, especially those with public accounts? Would this stop strangers trying to message them? Would a parent be able to monitor these accounts 24/7? Would this disclaimer even be a deterrent?  I always tell my kids that these days, no matter how short a time you post something, we live in a “screenshot” age. Anything they put out there can bite them in the bum years from now. You just have to look at the news to see the sheer amount of celebs, athletes, politicians who got into trouble for things they posted years and years ago. There are so many cons to having children on social media and as a parent I’m actually surprised to see some dance schools condone kids as young as year 3/4 having their own social media accounts and even tagging them on posts. Ultimately we need to think of why they might need it at such a young age - and do they actually need it? I’m an adult but my social media is all strictly private. I also manage the settings so that certain posts can only be seen by family and close friends. I am very uncomfortable with the idea of strangers seeing my DD in leotards and she wears them with tights etc. I have seen many public accounts of kids in outfit sets in poses I would not want my kids photographed in despite how artistic or acrobatic these look. This is just my personal opinion hence what my kids have to live with. I appreciate others might think otherwise and I fully respect that. 

[Neverdancedjustamum]

Just to add that I’m not as harsh or strict as my previous post must have sounded. I am actually sad to say that I’ve had to give in and let my DD have another social media platform when she started high school (the one with all the dancing and miming which does my head in) but I strictly monitor this. My DS is in his final year of high school and has Instagram but never posts and uses it mostly for shopping (along with Depop). He was not allowed it until he was 13 and by that time he’s waited for so long that when he finally had it it was a bit of a non-event and said he found it boring most of the time.

[Anna C]

Instagram requires children to be at least 13 years old before they can have their own account.  I have never thought allowing my daughter to lie about her age in order to have SM before 13 is a good example to set as a parent, to be honest.  Like Neverdancedjustamum I think 13 is too young for Instagram (and Tiktok).  Dd was allowed to create a private Facebook account at 13 but on the proviso that she was “friends” with me, and that she only used it on our main PC where we could walk past from time to time.  We also went through the “Think u know” pages on CEOP together as she reached each age, and she’s never encountered any trouble online.  She now rarely uses social media because she can recognise how it plays into her insecurities.

 

All Social Media comes with inherent risk; not just from a safety and security point of view, but also, with ballet and dance in particular, the risk of developing body image issues, eating disorders, and injury by over-stretching to copy other people they see.  If you haven’t already watched it, the documentary “The Social Dilemma” is an absolute eye opener.   Even I was shocked.

Edited February 22, 2022 by Anna C
Corrected the documentary name.

[Neverdancedjustamum]

2 minutes ago, Anna C said:

Instagram requires children to be at least 13 years old before they can have their own account.  I have never thought allowing my daughter to lie about her age in order to have SM before 13 is a good example to set as a parent, to be honest.  Like Neverdancedjustamum I think 13 is too young for Instagram (and Tiktok).  Dd was allowed to create a private Facebook account at 13 but on the proviso that she was “friends” with me, and that she only used it on our main PC where we could walk past from time to time.  We also went through the “Think u know” pages on CEOP together as she reached each age, and she’s never encountered any trouble online.  She now rarely uses social media because she can recognise how it plays into her insecurities.

 

All Social Media comes with inherent risk; not just from a safety and security point of view, but also, with ballet and dance in particular, the risk of developing body image issues, eating disorders, and injury by over-stretching to copy other people they see.  If you haven’t already watched it, the film “The Social Network” is an absolute eye opener.   Even I was shocked.

Absolutely agree with this. I’m not sure if it’s related to it, but I do strongly believe that my DD not having social media has contributed to her very settled and content personality. She doesn’t worry or stress over things and is never anxious. Knock on wood and I know it’s early days, but she’s never been one to have body image issues and has never compared herself to others. No jealous or competitive bone  in her body. Doesn’t really care if so and so’s feet or extensions are amazing, or that so and so can fold her body in half and has banana feet. She never notices these things because she never has the chance to closely look at photos and scrutinise others. She doesn’t get the time or opportunity to check what others’ healthy snacks are and whether hers are healthier (ie less calories). She doesn’t see others’ shopping hauls and want the same thing. She won’t know who gets featured by shops/schools/etc and want to be “featured” or re-posted or whatever herself. She doesn’t see who got into what school or associates scheme.  There is no chance for her to overthink or obsess over things.  I know this little bubble won’t last long but I always hope that she’ll be grounded enough and for as long as I can keep her that way that by the time she does have social media it won’t be such a a big thing and she won’t be as impressionable.

[Lifeafterballet]

A lot of children have Instagram accounts today. And us parents can keep a safety eye on it. But beware if they have their own phone and are tech savvy !! My daughter was telling me about a funny clip one of her friends had posted. When I said I hadn’t seen that she said that it must have been in her ‘priv’ account. My understanding is that it is a private account that you wouldn’t want your parents to see what you were posting 😏

[Pointeshoesarethedream]

12 minutes ago, Neverdancedjustamum said:

Absolutely agree with this. I’m not sure if it’s related to it, but I do strongly believe that my DD not having social media has contributed to her very settled and content personality. She doesn’t worry or stress over things and is never anxious. Knock on wood and I know it’s early days, but she’s never been one to have body image issues and has never compared herself to others. No jealous or competitive bone  in her body. Doesn’t really care if so and so’s feet or extensions are amazing, or that so and so can fold her body in half and has banana feet. She never notices these things because she never has the chance to closely look at photos and scrutinise others. She doesn’t get the time or opportunity to check what others’ healthy snacks are and whether hers are healthier (ie less calories). She doesn’t see others’ shopping hauls and want the same thing. She won’t know who gets featured by shops/schools/etc and want to be “featured” or re-posted or whatever herself. She doesn’t see who got into what school or associates scheme.  There is no chance for her to overthink or obsess over things.  I know this little bubble won’t last long but I always hope that she’ll be grounded enough and for as long as I can keep her that way that by the time she does have social media it won’t be such a a big thing and she won’t be as impressionable.

My DD does have an insta account. It is parent managed and in fact I am the one that posts about good news and her achievements but try to balance it with thinking of others who get don’t get good news at the same time and also some of the rubbish parts of the young aspiring ballerina … the odd illness and injury that gets in the way. DD very rarely goes on it and I often have to tell her that someone has sent her a message and please can she reply otherwise she just wouldn’t. 
 

However DDs comparisons of herself and others hasn’t come from social media. Hers has come from her JA classes and auditions where she’s been exposed to the ultra flexible and amazing feet, neither of which DD has. 
 

I wish there was a way we could keep them in a bubble forever but unfortunately we can’t and it’s not all down to social media. 

[MaddieRose]

Private accounts I think came about, at least in my social groups, from people having public main accounts and trying to be 'influencers'/get lots of followers. I know all the private accounts of my friends that I follow are for closer friends than a main account would have. I don't have one as my main account is set to private already. I joined social media at 12, 7 years ago, and I still keep it strictly to people I know.
 

There's been a rise in bot accounts (on Instagram particularly) that try to convince you to buy bitcoin, or use sexual pictures of women to promote dodgy links (I haven't clicked on them so I don't know where they go but it can't be good). I'd say make sure to watch out for them, because these accounts can still send direct message requests even if they don't follow you. Recently on my private account I got 2, and deleted the message and blocked the accounts. Also if you have a private account people can still tag you in comments, so I keep winning iPhone 10s, apparently. For these accounts you can block them, and there's now an option to block any accounts they might create, so make sure to do that if you are tagged. 
 

I think a private account is much better. I don't find myself worrying about who people following me are, and what their intentions may be. I really don't recommend them for young children, they just breed envy of how much better than you people appear to be. Compared to my friends I'd say I'm quite grounded and mature on social media because I've always had private accounts. My Mum also taught me a lot about what was a scam, and people pretending to be who they weren't, and she made me pass a little informal test to make sure I could recognise these things before I opened an account. And I think that teaching and mentality of 'this is for friends and family only' has done me a lot of good. 

[Kerfuffle]

Interesting discussion here! I think it’s great if you can delay the use of social media as long as possible. Kids are very tech savvy and often have “spam accounts” as well as the one you might know of. Unfortunately though at 13 (official age) a child can be at her most self conscious - this is pretty much the age where the problems with body image kick off. My DD’s non dancing age group  often have different potentially dangerous habits, Tiktok accounts where they are dressed in just underwear and mouthing along to explicit lyrics. These are just as dangerous. It’s so easy to be sucked into the web when you’re feeling insecure for young dancers and young people in general. Also as they get closer to applying for post 16 training the young dancers do get increasingly aware of how competitive their field of study is and I guess it’s only natural that they are curious to see just how good other dancers are who are their age but this can really damage their confidence as no one posts the time they fall out of pirouettes etc . I think that the ambassador obsession probably fuels this a bit. I guess that there will be images of your child in their dance wear posted by their school from time to time so it’s hard to have complete control over their image. Hopefully by keeping accounts private they are mostly limited to their age group. I do sometimes wonder if vocational schools ever look at these public profiles on social media. 

[Neverdancedjustamum]

15 minutes ago, Kerfuffle said:

I do sometimes wonder if vocational schools ever look at these public profiles on social media. 

I did wonder about this too @Kerfuffle a good number of those who got full time last year were extremely active on social media leading up to auditions and then all but disappeared once they got in. I do think most full time schools are quite strict about social media. DCs I’ve seen who were always on photo shoots or ambassadors of so and so brands suddenly stop posting as soon as they start full time so I am guessing that vocational schools give students a directive on social media use. I do find that this does vary from school to school, and depending on the year level. A couple seem very strict especially at lower school level whereas one school doesn’t seem to be as much as others with students still regularly on social media and photo shoots and ambassador deals. 

[Kerfuffle]

In answer to the OP perhaps you could have the account to start with and let her choose her favourite images of her pets, flowers, art work, maybe thd occasional performance photo. I guess more like what you’d post as a parent on Facebook. Nothing wrong with that as far as I can tell! Keep it private of course and on your phone/laptop etc. She’s young enough for you to be able to control the account. 

[Kerfuffle]

2 minutes ago, Neverdancedjustamum said:

I did wonder about this too @Kerfuffle a good number of those who got full time last year were extremely active on social media leading up to auditions and then all but disappeared once they got in. I do think most full time schools are quite strict about social media. DCs I’ve seen who were always on photo shoots or ambassadors of so and so brands suddenly stop posting as soon as they start full time so I am guessing that vocational schools give students a directive on social media use. I do find that this does vary from school to school, and depending on the year level. A couple seem very strict especially at lower school level whereas one school doesn’t seem to be as much as others with students still regularly on social media and photo shoots and ambassador deals. 

I think that most kids have Instagram accounts but they are private, even at the most well known schools. I guess that they aren’t breaking the rules! It is rather strange that it almost appears like a media campaign is involved in getting into these schools  at such a tender age, too. I’m sure there are plenty that aren’t on SM too, just seems a peculiar trend! 

[Neverdancedjustamum]

13 minutes ago, Kerfuffle said:

I think that most kids have Instagram accounts but they are private, even at the most well known schools. I guess that they aren’t breaking the rules! It is rather strange that it almost appears like a media campaign is involved in getting into these schools  at such a tender age, too. I’m sure there are plenty that aren’t on SM too, just seems a peculiar trend! 

That is true. There’s always the dance/private accounts combination. And I do notice the rise of what appears to be a media campaign too. Almost a rise in the number of posts towards audition time. I actually think that these days the percentage of kids age 11/12 who start full time with no social media is very small. Certainly I noticed that a significant percentage of those who started last year were active social media users (although at this age it’s most likely the parents?). Perhaps it’s just to share their dance journey with similar minded people. 

[Kerfuffle]

16 minutes ago, Neverdancedjustamum said:

That is true. There’s always the dance/private accounts combination. And I do notice the rise of what appears to be a media campaign too. Almost a rise in the number of posts towards audition time. I actually think that these days the percentage of kids age 11/12 who start full time with no social media is very small. Certainly I noticed that a significant percentage of those who started last year were active social media users (although at this age it’s most likely the parents?). Perhaps it’s just to share their dance journey with similar minded people. 

If it’s the parents doing it to show off that is actually worse in my opinion! The problem is that like all social media it presents a distorted image of  what a dancer really is like, or what the journey is (often unglamorous, lots of driving, a certain amount of disappointments on the way etc). There’s a big difference between the occasional jolly posting about your kids on FB and a full on media campaign carefully curated  to just show the best bits 😏! 

[Millicent]

Interesting discussion. It would be registered to me and only on my phone so I would have conplete control over it so I would assume that the U13 rule wouldn't apply to that?

 

I think generally my concern is over the motivation for posting things. Ideally it would be to share uplifting things with others but I suspect would end up being just an official way to show off! So photos of her looking amazing doing dance, or some great artwork or various achievements. I wonder what message this gives her as usually in life we try to make sure our kids don't show off! Especially as she is talented, flexible and has good feet so it really does feel like showing her off!

 

On the other hand I suspect that one day she will have her own social media accounts and perhaps having a parent account first would help to teach her how to stay safe and make her think about why she is posting things I.e. is she chasing validation and likes?

 

I think ultimately I am coming down on the side of not making her an account. I'm not convinced any positives outweigh the negatives.

[Kerfuffle]

25 minutes ago, Millicent said:

Interesting discussion. It would be registered to me and only on my phone so I would have conplete control over it so I would assume that the U13 rule wouldn't apply to that?

 

I think generally my concern is over the motivation for posting things. Ideally it would be to share uplifting things with others but I suspect would end up being just an official way to show off! So photos of her looking amazing doing dance, or some great artwork or various achievements. I wonder what message this gives her as usually in life we try to make sure our kids don't show off! Especially as she is talented, flexible and has good feet so it really does feel like showing her off!

 

On the other hand I suspect that one day she will have her own social media accounts and perhaps having a parent account first would help to teach her how to stay safe and make her think about why she is posting things I.e. is she chasing validation and likes?

 

I think ultimately I am coming down on the side of not making her an account. I'm not convinced any positives outweigh the negatives.

[Kerfuffle]

Hi sorry about last post I couldn’t reply properly …. 
 

It seems to me like you’ve thought it through thoroughly. I think we’re all susceptible to a bit of a rush when we see someone likes what we’ve posted even on here! Lots of kids just post funny things, cute pics of their pets so it’s not all bad but you have a good point in relation to teaching them not to show off.  I think my only occasional indulgence in posting about my DD will be if she features in a poster that he school itself has used - then it seems fair enough as it’s out there anyway! Like all these tecchy  things are are some lovely skills you can learn in terms of putting together uplifting images too so it doesn’t have to be all toxic stuff. 

[Anna C]

I think you’re being very considered, Millicent.  If it’s registered to you and only on your phone, then yes, you’d put your age.  I still question the need to even look at Instagram in Year 5 - children’s school friends always have something that our children don’t! I used to sympathise with dd and say I could see why she wanted something “all her friends” had (this ranged from a limo to the year 6 leavers’ disco 😳 to an iphone, then a social media account before 13) but that it wasn’t something we would be doing and that I was quite happy for her to use “boring/strict Mum and Dad won’t let me” as an excuse.  

 

There is plenty of time to get social media and in the meantime, if you decide not to get it just yet, you can still teach her about safety online by looking at sites like this:  https://www.thinkuknow.co.uk

 

What you said about “showing off” struck me, because I always had a horror of “showing off” and even though it certainly my intention, the message got lost in translation, and got through to my dd’s anxious brain that performing with confidence equated to “showing off”.  Looking back, I wish I’d either not mentioned it, or worded it differently so dd understood from a young age the difference between someone hogging the stage/pushing one’s way to the front of every dance and performing confidently, instead of tentatively.   As a parent, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with celebrating your child’s achievements, posting a lovely photo of them dancing, and so on.  That’s not “showing off”. 😊 Nor is it showing off to celebrate our own achievements and efforts.  It’s all about finding a balance, isn’t it - and understanding why we are posting; is it to share something we’re happy about/proud of, or is it for validation and “likes”?  

 

Lots to think about. 

[Legseleven]

Goodness Anna, your comments about showing off really struck a chord! I too believe I transferred my horror of showing off to DD and added to her own reticence it did not translate to her feeling able to perform with confidence. Such a difficult balance to be struck. (Although I would still rather err on the side of ‘not showing off’ than being someone who permanently pushes themselves to the front 😉)

[Kerfuffle]

I don’t think performing is showing off at all. Doing it with confidence improves the gift you give your audience - so you’re giving something better if you’re communicating effectively. Social media can be used to show off or just tell people what you’re up to in life. It really is up to the user. It’s also up to the viewer whether they take notice of it or not! 

[Legseleven]

Nor do I Kerfuffle - it’s just that the horror of showing off interfered with mine and my DD’s ability to feel relaxed and able to perform, in case it was interpreted as showing off. It didn’t help DD that another girl at her dance school was unquestionably very talented but was also the biggest show off I have ever met, literally moving and dancing in front of DD to keep herself forever in the front 🙄😉

[Millicent]

I agree. I tell my daughter that when she's on stage is the time that she should feel like she's showing off, it's kind of part of performance quality. It's always excruciating to watch a nervous or worried performance.

 

But I think that concept of showing off is very different than posting achievements and flattering photos of yourself on social media. I'm not sure there's any upside to that.

[Kerfuffle]

As dance parents I think al lot of us have seen  that sort of bratty behaviour, Legseleven but I hope  not to the point that it put your DD off. Also I’ve  experienced  how painful it is to watch a child who really isn’t enjoying themselves because of nerves. It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there! 

[Crazylifecrazykids]

This is a really interesting topic and one that rings a chord. I have two girls and the older one (who is nearly 18) I was really strict on all social medie and she found ways of doing it and me not knowing, feircly lead by peer pressure (she is susceptible to this as part of her personality) Roll on 2nd DD who is nearly 12 and asked for Insta, so she is on my account as an extra account and private. Everything goes through me,we have two strict rules.. I do all the follow requests and respomd to "message requests" which usually get deleted. So far so good and she doesnt seem to caught up in it, she enjoys sharing things and seeing what others post, She is learning to use it safely and I am big brother! 🤣 as I wont hesitste to delete the account if she doesnt follow my rulee, essntially it is my accoumt. It all depends on how you feel about it and how you think your child will be with social media but for me I learnt from the fiirst DD but it is all a minefield and needs to be ballanced, it is very much a personal decision 😊

[Pointetoes]

I will throw a spanner into the works. Whilst I appreciate this is a question about younger children, if they go on to train at 18 ( yes they are adults) they will be expected to be active on social media. So perhaps teaching them at a young age how to be sensible etc isn’t such a bad idea. DD is about to graduate she is expected to have both IG and Twitter, the majority of them have their spotlight link on their IG a bio and yes agents do look at social media. A friend of mine’s daughters works for an agent. 
 

Basically I am saying let them have it but support them, help them stay safe.  Both mine knew that I could at any time gain access to their accounts. They were their accounts but I knew the passwords, changing their passwords was not up for discussion. 

[Mumof1]

The Computing teacher at my DD’s school once made this analogy. (I hope i remember correctly) 

He likened the Internet and social media to a car that is travelling down a hill with your child already in it, regardless of if you allow them access to things already. Do you do nothing and watch the car crash ? , Do you try to run after it and stop it? Or do you jump in and teach your child to drive?

I guess what he was trying to say was if you do these things together early on and take an interest in what they’re up to then they learn and also are far more likely to come to you when something untoward happens rather than thinking that they’ll get in trouble. 

 

I myself have an Instagram account that I only post about my DD on . (And I make sure I do post not just the times when she does well, I also post when class is hard etc) It’s clearly marked that it’s me and not her and is private. She takes very little interest in it and looks when I show her something she might like and I certainly won’t let her have her own until she’s at least the age allowed. 

I don’t know that I’m 100% doing the right thing but I do know that I’ve met and connected with some really lovely mums and we’ve met up in real life even though we love 100’s of miles away.  I do also love watching kids accomplishments and their journeys. 

It’s a double edged sword. 

 

 

Edited February 22, 2022 by Mumof1

[Pointytoes]

I agree with the above post. Subjecting, allowing and enabling moderate and safe use of social media is very different though than the media campaigns that a few parents persist on throughout audition processes for vocational schools. The irony of these type of posts is that when these high profile children take up their places some  vocational schools usually make it compulsory that their pupils accounts are set on private at the very least. 
I believe there is a difference between sharing the day to day moments of family life and the accounts ‘ run by mum’ as is often seen. 
These type of accounts serve no positive purpose to young dancers holistically. 
 

[Mumof1]

14 minutes ago, Mumof1 said:

The Computing teacher at my DD’s school once made this analogy. (I hope i remember correctly) 

He likened the Internet and social media to a car that is travelling down a hill with your child already in it, regardless of if you allow them access to things already. Do you do nothing and watch the car crash ? , Do you try to run after it and stop it? Or do you jump in and teach your child to drive?

I guess what he was trying to say was if you do these things together early on and take an interest in what they’re up to then they learn and also are far more likely to come to you when something untoward happens rather than thinking that they’ll get in trouble. 

 

I myself have an Instagram account that I only post about my DD on . (And I make sure I do post not just the times when she does well, I also post when class is hard etc) It’s clearly marked that it’s me and not her. She takes very little interest in it and looks when I show her something she might like. 

I don’t know that I’m 100% doing the right thing but I do know that I’ve met and connected with some really lovely mums and we’ve met up in real life even though we love 100’s of miles away.  I do also love watching kids accomplishments and their journeys. 

It’s a double edged sword. 

 

 

Sorry not sure why the beginning part was all in caps and large. WAS NOT TRYING TO SHOUT! 

[Neverdancedjustamum]

5 minutes ago, Pointytoes said:

I agree with the above post. Subjecting, allowing and enabling moderate and safe use of social media is very different though than the media campaigns that a few parents persist on throughout audition processes for vocational schools. The irony of these type of posts is that when these high profile children take up their places some  vocational schools usually make it compulsory that their pupils accounts are set on private at the very least. 
I believe there is a difference between sharing the day to day moments of family life and the accounts ‘ run by mum’ as is often seen. 
These type of accounts serve no positive purpose to young dancers holistically. 
 

I agree with you @pointytoes.  Massive difference there. At the end of the day too, what message would it send to my children (who know full well that Instagram has a minimum age) if I let them have their own account when they haven’t reached that age yet? I don’t want to be party to someone having to put the wrong birth year to be able to open an account.  I know it’s a little thing and perhaps I’m being pedantic but these are the little things I hope they remember. Regulations and guidelines are there to abide by, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant. Until they’re at the appropriate age, my kids are more than welcome to check stuff via my Instagram. I have involved them and made them aware of social media very early on (short of having their own accounts before the published minimum age) because I know I can’t shield them from it forever, but I’d still prefer for them to air on the side of it having more cons than pros but this is a personal choice which may or may not prove to be right. 

[Pointytoes]

Indeed, there is a legal age for a reason, the safeguarding of our children. 
I struggle greatly as an educator that schools continuously strive to teach internet safety and to rigorously safeguard our young people, yet many young children (who are minors) have seemingly such high profiles on social platforms but for whom? I will not open the can of worms on flexibility poses! 
Talent will take them where they need to be and I doubt artistic directors  wade their way  through the news of how many recalls and offers any child has.
There lies a dangerous cocktail of mixed messages in all of this in the mental health of potentially young dancers. 

[Neverdancedjustamum]

12 hours ago, Pointytoes said:

Indeed, there is a legal age for a reason, the safeguarding of our children. 
I struggle greatly as an educator that schools continuously strive to teach internet safety and to rigorously safeguard our young people, yet many young children (who are minors) have seemingly such high profiles on social platforms but for whom? I will not open the can of worms on flexibility poses! 
Talent will take them where they need to be and I doubt artistic directors  wade their way  through the news of how many recalls and offers any child has.
There lies a dangerous cocktail of mixed messages in all of this in the mental health of potentially young dancers. 

Exactly @Pointytoes, for whom AND by whom. Some of these accounts are by children so young I very much doubt they’re bothered with posting every week much less posting their weekly routine. My children are both in high school and there is no way they are interested in nor do they have the time to post what they do every day of the week. It’s slightly unnerving but some of these accounts post so often it’s so easy for strangers to almost map out their weekly timetable. I know that’s a paranoid way of thinking but whilst I’d like to think the world and its people are all good the reality is that there are a lot of weirdos out there. You don’t want to open the can of worms on flexibility poses whereas I’m trying not to open the can on seemingly excessive photo shoots. I totally understand perhaps having these shoots for auditions or as treats to mark special moments but some of these kids (who appear to have public accounts) seem to have shoots every few months! I suppose it’s a personal thing but I actually enjoy more candid snaps of every day life or special moments captured on social media rather than professionally taken, highly posed, polished ones. When I see some of these accounts, I am in awe of how much time and money they seem to have spare! These things can’t be cheap. Call me tight but I’ve always told my DD that unless absolutely necessary (ie if she needs them for anything that would necessitate it), it is only when she has achieved things in life to the extent that people ask to have her photo taken that she can have these shoots. Slightly different industry but I used to work in fashion and media and we always used to say to young people on the rise that you know you have “arrived” when people pay YOU to have your photos taken (we actually warn them against being approached for shoots and asked to pay for photos). Thankfully, DD is not really interested in having photos taken ever so that particular speech of mine was a moot point. 

[Anna C]

13 hours ago, Pointytoes said:

Talent will take them where they need to be and I doubt artistic directors  wade their way  through the news of how many recalls and offers any child has.

 

I agree.  I’m pretty sure ADs and selection panels don’t have the time to go trawling through Instagram to see if a candidate is flexible enough to do contortionist poses and overstretching.  They use application photos (none of which are tilts/extreme stretches) as an aide-memoir and look at how the candidates dance at audition.