trog Posted December 22, 2021 Share Posted December 22, 2021 Bowie: Why so sad Bing? Bing: My inflatable butt has gone flat. B: You need my rubber bum pump? Bing: Rubber bum pump? B: Rubber bum pump. 7 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zxDaveM Posted December 22, 2021 Share Posted December 22, 2021 I only seem to get sick on week days. I must have a weekend immune system (a covid buster!) 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zxDaveM Posted December 22, 2021 Share Posted December 22, 2021 I just found out I'm colour blind The news came right out of the purple... 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zxDaveM Posted December 22, 2021 Share Posted December 22, 2021 What do you call bears that have no ears? B 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trog Posted December 23, 2021 Author Share Posted December 23, 2021 "Ladies and gents." That concludes our tour of the toilets. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zxDaveM Posted December 24, 2021 Share Posted December 24, 2021 on what side do turkeys have the most feathers? the outside 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LinMM Posted December 24, 2021 Share Posted December 24, 2021 Ha ha Do you just remember these jokes Dave or have you stored all the Christmas cracker jokes in a little box over the years!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zxDaveM Posted December 24, 2021 Share Posted December 24, 2021 17 minutes ago, LinMM said: Ha ha Do you just remember these jokes Dave or have you stored all the Christmas cracker jokes in a little box over the years!! I have a variety of sources! 🙂 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zxDaveM Posted December 24, 2021 Share Posted December 24, 2021 How is Christmas exactly like your job? You do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zxDaveM Posted December 24, 2021 Share Posted December 24, 2021 Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars? Their days are numbered! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fonty Posted December 24, 2021 Share Posted December 24, 2021 Did you hear about the man who stole the Advent calendar? He got 25 days 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fonty Posted December 24, 2021 Share Posted December 24, 2021 What motorbike does Father Christmas drive? A Holly Davidson. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fonty Posted December 24, 2021 Share Posted December 24, 2021 What sits on the bottom of the ocean and shivers? A nervous wreck. What did Snow White sing when she discovered her photo negatives had gone missing? Some day my prints will come. (Ok, that last one is rather ancient!) 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pas de Quatre Posted December 24, 2021 Share Posted December 24, 2021 I wish I knew more about Greek mythology - it's always been my achilles elbow! 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zxDaveM Posted December 25, 2021 Share Posted December 25, 2021 A French cat, Un Deux Trois, and an English cat, One Two Three, went for a swimming race around a lake. Who won? One Two Three, because Un Deux Trois Quatre Cinque. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJH Posted December 26, 2021 Share Posted December 26, 2021 how do you determine the mass of a Red Hot Chilli pepper ? you give it a weigh , give it a weigh , give it a weight now ... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fonty Posted December 27, 2021 Share Posted December 27, 2021 What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas quacker. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite Why did the turkey join the band? Because it had drumsticks What goes "Oh, Oh, Oh"? Santa walking backwards. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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