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I can imagine exactly how DD would have said it, wince, and I hope - given how lovely they were with her earlier - that they were more surprised than offended. They must be more than used to the quirks of the 7 year old mind I imagine! I think I might avoid reminding them just in case my darling child decides she fancies another go in the future. Thank you for the sympathy, I have a very nice new bottle of Cornish gin about to be delivered which should help :-)

2dancersmum - it's a bit of a shock and a minefield when you get landed with a child who wants to do things that start so seriously so young. If DD had set her heart on being an astronaut we'd reckon the odd trip to the science museum and some good books would be quite sufficient in terms of encouragement. Instead I look at that first class that we sent DD to at the age of 5 and think what the heck happened? It was supposed to be a bit of fun on a Sunday to meet some local kids, and now I'm sitting in an audition waiting room with 4 other white-faced parents wondering if I might be signing very adult contracts for my baby to go out and work. I did ask her last night if she wanted to step off the roundabout and have a break from everything and she nearly had a fit. Said she was very scared about breaking her feet but she needed to dance to get her dream. I worry a lot about being some kind of pushy mother, but then I'm confronted by her determination and it seems far worse to try and stop her. I'm very grateful for the internet as I don't know anyone IRL whose children do anything like this and it's not exactly anxiety free. It's nice to know there are others in the same boat with the same worries and drying the same tears. So a huge thank you to all of you who have shared what happened to your DC and I wish all of them much happiness and success - not an easy road to tread!

We've been lucky so far on the singing - no-one has put her down as yet and hopefully she's got enough positive affirmation to deal with any - she got to the final round for Les Mis a few weeks ago, she's been asked to sing at two events in the next month and she's just been accepted as a pupil by a very highly regarded vocal coach who doesn't normally take children and he would deal with anything like this very fast. Makes me so cross to hear how many of our children get their confidence knocked at such a young age. Just wrong and so harmful. Her school have an Eisteddfod in a few weeks and she's entered for the singing part. I asked if she was doing the dance section this year and she said the other girls in her class had entered as a team but hadn't asked her to be in it which makes me worry a little bit, although she didn't seem especially upset. She said she didn't want to enter this year - not like her so I think this is definitely the area she's worried about. School are going to keep an eye out for what's going on. I'm very lucky they are so supportive (although that may be because they are so relieved we're not expecting them to help us get the poor child into St Paul's Girls or similar!). The SENCo had DD in for a chat today but DD isn't sharing. Happily a new boy joined her ballet class yesterday - only boy there - and she thinks he's wonderful and they've been paired up together in class. He seems lovely and I imagine he will be pretty good (has that look and build and way of moving) and was very enthusiastic when he came over to say hello after class. She's been the new one in her class since Christmas and while the others are all nice kids she hasn't had a friend. She's already talking about looking forward to seeing him at ballet next week. Fingers crossed that he will help bring the spark back. I've taken her to see the My First Ballet productions by ENB which she loved and I have tickets for Secret Garden with LJB next month so hopefully that will provide some inspiration for her. I'm going to tread very softly and let her find her enthusiasm again. We'll go to RBS but with zero expectations and it will be a nice day out. To be honest I'm not sure that she's ready for associates even if she was considered to be considered good enough, so there is no pressure or expectations from us.

The boys in question all do ballet - but at different schools. As far as I know she is the only girl in her school who does ballet - very deprived demographic. Her primary has a specialist interest in performing arts and has a dancer-in-residence (Rambert) and musician-in-residence on the staff, but they do modern dance in school from what I can tell. I might see whether the dancer could have a chat or something although DD doesn't seem that keen on her. She's always excelled at anything performance based and tends to get lead roles and win the competitions at school which may be part of the problem. She's also not treating things as 'just for fun' - she's utterly determined to get to the West End and the kids at school know she has time out for auditions etc. I've really played down the RBS and the YDA as just a fun class and while she's so focused on Les Mis I thought she would be utterly laid back about them. She did say she had fun at class last night so that was a plus. She has another class on Friday that is more serious and has older girls so I'll see how that goes and maybe have a chat at the end with the teacher.

Pictures - that is just awful for your DD. Children can be so unpleasant. I'm glad to hear that she's now away from that and doing so well. Thank you all for the kind comments. I feel so awful that she's been bottling all this up.

DD has quite severe dyslexia - she's 98th centile for verbal and non-verbal reasoning but 7th centile for working memory, so awkward combination of a very bright child who struggles and massively underachieves. Her school are brilliant about it (they arranged all the testing) and very supportive. She's very popular at school, loads of friends etc so no bullying concerns of the usual type. We suspect that she will want to go down the MT route - singing is definitely her strongest skill - but while she was enjoying ballet so much and appeared to be doing well, it seemed silly not to have a bash at the JAs and also have it as a possible avenue. It's also the case that if she wants to go to the vocational school she currently has her heart set on, she needs to offer triple threat... I wish I knew how to reassure on the feet - googling dancers feet doesn't exactly help!

I mentioned in a thread a few weeks ago about my DD being upset about the boys at school telling her that she musn't get fat if she wants to be a ballet dancer. Things have now got worse and I'm not entirely sure how to handle it. DD tried out for the YDA associates on Sunday. She had a meltdown when it was time to go in and said she wanted to go home. Got her in there and I understand she was fine once we left, but she pretty much refused to discuss anything about it afterwards - just said she didn't want to talk about it. The last few days she hasn't been her normal bouncy self - tummy aches every morning and not wanting to go to school and when I picked her up for her ballet class yesterday after school she wasn't changed and was hiding. Got the email while she was at class to say she hasn't been accepted at YDA. When I told her she was a bit subdued and then told me that she told Anna that if she got in then she didn't want to go to her school! Yikes! We had a fairly long chat when we got home and eventually it all came out that she was scared of doing ballet because the boys had told her she'd get ugly feet and that dancing an pointe breaks all your toes and she doesn't want to hurt her feet. I've been into school this morning and had a chat with the SENCo who is hugely supportive of DD and wanted to do PA herself so 'gets' things. She's horrified and also said that DD has been very much not herself this week and they are going to find a way to deal that doesn't make it DD or dance-centric. On the upside, tummy ache has gone this morning and DD her usual happy self. DH and I don't harbour fantasies of our little girl being the next Pavlova - we try to encourage, facilitate and offer the best opportunities we can find and afford in whatever she would like to do, and would never force her to do something, but I'm really not sure how to reassure and deal with this...

Was a no for us this year - not a huge surprise. Has thrown up a few serious worries that my DD is having about ballet which I will start a new thread on.

Hope everyone's DC enjoyed themselves today! DD had a minor meltdown just when we had to go into the studio and decided that actually she'd like to go home. Only a minor blip, but Anna du Boisson came over and had a chat with her and was terribly kind. Appears she had a lovely time once I'd disappeared and other than struggling with the French a bit, she enjoyed herself. Somehow managed to lose the specially bought hairnet, but emptied half a ton of mousse and a lot of kirby grips onto DD's hair and managed an approximation of a ballet bun that wasn't too mortifying and definitely wasn't coming loose - there were some beautiful creations on show! With any luck DD will now be rather less intimidated at the RBS auditions in June.

We're also there at 10am (9.30 for the warm-ups, although DD looked unimpressed with that idea and if I know her, will decide that putting headphones on and sitting in a corner with her tablet is the same thing... given the tales of competitive stretching, that may be a good thing!) Good luck to all!

We're on the Friday afternoon in London. She's trying for a Y4 place - turns 8 in the summer. For those whose DC have never done auditions of any kind before, my experiences so far (MT rather than ballet) and talking to others have shown that i) the people that deal with young children under these kinds of conditions are on the whole exceptionally kind, friendly and make an effort to make it as fun a process as possible, ii) they do bounce back from disappointment remarkably quickly and iii) it is far, far worse being the parent - both the stress of sitting there while they do their thing and then having to break the news later. My DD was up for Les Mis on Thursday for the second time and made it right down to the final cut - we then heard at midnight that she hadn't been cast. DD has wanted this part so badly for a couple of years and telling her she hadn't made it when she got so close was heartbreaking. However her first words were that she wants to try again in the autumn and by yesterday evening she was her normal bouncy self. Learning to handle disappointment young isn't necessarily a bad thing - especially in this business - and nobody can ever take away from them that they had the chance to try for something as special as the RBS (and they can always try again!) ETA: Is anyone else trying for the YDA Associates as well?

I wasn't best pleased as I'd hoped to get her a bit older before such concerns kicked in - fortunately we were able to have a sensible chat and she is almost certainly taking after me and will be able to eat whatever she wants so doesn't need to worry at all. I have a feeling that the teachers of these boys have been slightly over-egging the whole 'male ballet dancers must be strong so they can lift the girls' bit! I'm keeping a bit of an eye and if it gets worse then I will have a chat to school who will be very fast on the uptake,

Funnily enough, in DD's school class, she is the only girl taking ballet - but 3 of the boys are (one Japanese, one Spanish and one half Portuguese). They're all perfectly happy to talk about it and are quite competitive - all of them are different schools - but will keep telling DD that she can't get fat if she wants to be a dancer. Bit of a menace as DD is by far the skinniest child in her class and the fussiest eater I know - and now she's stressing about getting fat at the age of 8!

RAD is definitely a method - the other common ones are Cecchetti (Italian school), Vaganova (Russian school), and then there are ones you come across less in the UK like French and Danish schools. Some have exams (RAD and Cecchetti is via ISTD) - and some don't (Vaganova). Schools also have different names for some of the positions - the RAD first position for arms, is the same as what is called fifth position en avant in Cecchetti and so on. The levels and ways of teaching can also be very different, so a dancer at Grade 3 in one school may find that they could be Grade 2 or Grade 4 standard in another. (Total non expert here but I did have to do a crash course in ballet styles when I needed to find a new school for DD last year - it's pretty fascinating historically)

Found this online - does it look like the right kind of thing? http://ballerinajournal.blogspot.co.uk/2012_09_01_archive.html (second pic down in case the copy and paste doesn't work!) Would be v helpful if the schools had photos - I found it quite tricky working out where the wretched feet and legs were supposed to be with the RBS ones from the diagrams. Photos show a lot more detail in terms of what goes where!

I'm pretty sure that they'll be happy with ballpark (which is why I haven't been ringing/emailing to ask) - it's more my perfectionist tendencies coming out!

I love make-up and having lots of sisters, years at boarding school and a dodgy goth phase back in the 80's, I've tried most brands over the years and on the whole I'm pretty happy with mass market brand. I'm a big fan of Max Factor - especially for foundation as they have a huge range of colours, and if like me you have that lovely blue with purple tinge Scottish skin-tone, they do actually make one to match. Foundation has good coverage, but the Panstik is particularly good and stays put for hours. Their own translucent powder isn't bad, but I do prefer the Cornsilk version. They have a lovely lipstick in a shade called English Rose which is really pretty and not too dark or too 'pink' - it also makes really good blush and eyeshadow. Boots No.7 also has good range of colours in foundation especially at the paler end of the spectrum and stays on well. I got fed up with brands like MAC as they just didn't stay as well. For eyeshadows, Superdrug has some very cheap brands that do uber-glittery and day-glo colours, but the cheaper brands don't have much staying power or look great in the box but don't go on quite right. Ones that do work well are Boots No. 7, Revlon, Max Factor and Bourjois. Eyeliner is easiest (former Goth opinion here) with either the felt-tip type ones, or the liquid liner that comes with a very thin brush. Kohl crayon is a nightmare with children. Otherwise get a very, very dark brown or black eyeshadow and use that with a fine brush to get the same effect without the trauma. For mascara, I'm not a huge fan of black on children with fairer lashes and hair - dark brown gives the emphasis and avoids any hairy caterpillar look. Put it on last of all, wait 5 minutes and then apply a second layer. Eyelash curlers are great but need a bit of practice before you use on anyone else. I would invest in some make-up sponges and some decent brushes (the applicator things in the boxes are useless) - I got a full-set of MAC brushes on eBay a few years ago for under £10 so worth looking for bargains there, but you basically need a brush for applying and blending eyeshadow, a fatter one for blush, a lip brush and a big fluffy one for powder. If you want good primer, then Oil of Olay Regenerist Serum is amazing at setting everything and does seem to protect their skin a bit. DD is pretty sensitive and hasn't reacted to that or any of my MaxFactor/Boots No.7 stuff.

My almost-8 year-old does the following: 1 x 45 min standard class 1 x 60 min grade class 1 x 60 min modern class (as part of a 3 hour MT course so sometimes there is less dance and more singing depending on what they're working on). If by some miracle she gets onto an associate scheme then that will add another 2hrs of ballet. Checking with a number of ballet dancers/teachers, they felt that she was doing an appropriate level for her age given that she is potentially looking at some kind of vocational school for Y7. 90 minute classes sound long for Grade 2. Having pretty much done a spread-sheet of London ballet schools when I was trying to find one we could get to last year, pretty much everywhere does 45-60 minutes until they get to the much higher grades and pointe work.

I looked right through the Grades and it still hadn't shown up at 5. Does seem a tad odd to include something that many of the children aren't old enough to have even studied yet, but hopefully they're just for prompts rather than selection. The school in question is YDA for their associate scheme ages 8-12 - it's not completely clear if they pre-select on photos or if they audition all of them as RBS do. They're wanting 3 photos: Demi plié 1st position with arms in second - simple enough. RBS wanted demi plié 1st position with arms in first. Tendu devant à terre effacé with arms in 4th - the problem one! RBS asked for tendu devant à terre effacé with arms in preparatory. Tendu a la second à terre en face with arms in 2nd - RBS wanted tendu a la second à terre en face with arms in preparatory. Although, to be fair, RBS didn't actually say what they wanted for the juniors, just did diagrams - happily they did both descriptions and diagrams for the Mids and Seniors so between that and google we worked out what each one required (prays that the arms were in preparatory)! I'm starting to think the schools should all offer a prize to the parent who best interprets the photo requirements with extra points given for originality and any new ballet moves invented in the process! I'm going to have a bash at taking them on Tuesday as her school has lots of lovely white walls I can stand her in front of.

I'm not sure that she has... I sat in on the end-of-term class a few weeks ago and while they did an exercise with all the arm movements, it wasn't in combination with different feet and they only did tendus at the barre. Also checked the syllabus for Grade 2 and it's not in there. I've had a look at some pics of efface and that definitely looks like the diagram... ugh, I haven't danced a ballet step for over 30 years and DD is already way past where I was! The RBS pictures are showing the photo requirements for the mids and seniors, whereas the application is for juniors at a different school, so I'm hoping that an approximation will be okay. I was a bit surprised that they want them in tights and shoes not bare feet too. I've bought the Gaynor Minden book via kindle so I can enlarge the pics and work out where every toe should go - it's a good read from the looks of it as well. Hopefully I'll manage something reasonable enough for their needs! Unfortunately DD's school has classes back-to-back and I don't see the teacher at all so I'm winging it rather a lot.

Fantastic - thank you so much for the image and the book recommendation. Off to order a copy. RBS are very helpful in including the images with their photo requests - confirms the other pics I need as well.

I need to take some photographs for an audition application and I'm a bit stuck on where DD's arms should be! The position they want is: tendu devant à terre effacé with arms in 4th DD does Cecchetti method and there are two fourth position arms and I have no idea which one to use - and having consulted google there seem to be different ones for the different schools. Shall I go with the left leg forward, left arm in second and right arm in fifth en haut? Hopefully I'm matching the right arms to legs! Does anyone know of a good book or online resource that shows dancers correctly demonstrating all the basic positions and moves in photographs?

It depends how politically savvy your friend wants people to be - the dreaded Mumsnet is reasonable if you want the semi-informed Joe Public comments and lots of hysteria, otherwise most people are in fairly specialist forums. The Grauniad comments section is fine if they tick your boxes politically but otherwise it's a form of masochism. I work in politics, run a political consultancy and worked full-time on one of the referendum campaign teams so spend a lot of time on political sites (balletco is my much-needed escape). I tend to read Guido Fawkes for news and gossip - but the comments sections are horrendous and not for the faint of heart; Political Betting is excellent - run by a LibDem, but posters from all parties and pretty broad in terms of comment, but you need to be a serious political geek to get the most from it and many posters there know each other in real life so conversations can be hard to follow I imagine if you're not part of the Westminster bubble; ConHome has interesting articles and the comments section is so/so and very Tory slant; Vote 2012 is good for upcoming elections but is very much aimed at psephology fans and can be slow moving. The individual parties have lots of blogs and member-only forums. If you have an idea of what direction their politics goes in (left/right/centerist/free-market/libertarian etc) then I can probably suggest some suitable places.

TK Maxx has very good deals on luggage - I have bought several brands from there: Victorinox, Wenger (Victorinox's cheaper line) and Kipling, all for much less then anywhere else and all standing up well to use. I used to live abroad and had Antler for years and they were brilliant, but the quality seems to have gone downhill about 8 years ago and I've stopped buying them.

Took 7 year-old DD to see Cinderella last night at the Peacock in London. Remi Nakano was absolutely exquisite as Cinderella and looked like she was loving every second of her performance - DD said she could have watched her for hours and I totally agree, I'll be looking out for her in future. For those that haven't come across the My First Ballet series, they are classical ballets danced by the students at the ENBS and members of the ENB and aimed at younger children. There is a narrator on stage and the whole performance is cut down to around an hour. Last year was Sleeping Beauty which was also excellent. I wasn't too keen on the idea initially - thought the talking would detract from the music and the dance - but it is done fantastically well. She plays the part of the grown-up Aurora or Cinderella looking back at her life, and is a fabulous actress - different voices for all the characters, and explains some of the mime used in the choreography. I have a feeling I will miss her at the next adult ballet as I learnt quite a lot! It's perfect for children who enjoy watching ballet but aren't quite ready for a full-length programme. There is also high tolerance of whispering and fidgeting which is both good (if you own a fidgeter) and bad (if you own a child who can't stand noise), and worth bearing in mind if you are very irritated by mild disruptions. The evening performances are much better than the matinees if you want less background noise. Ticket prices also good - two front row seats in the circle were £40 for the pair.