How to justify vocational training?

[joyofdance]

The criticism gets worse when your child decides to stay close to home and attend a local dance college. Apparently London is the only place to be according to some. For us my nearly 16 yr old leaving home and attending a "prestigious" dance school/college is not something either she or we want. She hasn't auditioned anywhere else because she simply doesn't want to attend any other establishment. People can sometimes even criticise that decision. Not every child is ready to leave home at 16. Maybe she will at 18, time will tell. She may not even want to dance at 18. The point is, she is doing what she wants to do and is very excited for next year. For me, that is enough. I am happy that she is happy so I ignore any negative comments or other peoples well intended advice.

[Picturesinthefirelight]

Mine didn’t want to go to London either joyofdance so she only auditioned for 2 colleges and a school.  It is seen as second best by some though. 

[balletbean]

15 hours ago, joyofdance said:

The criticism gets worse when your child decides to stay close to home and attend a local dance college. Apparently London is the only place to be according to some. For us my nearly 16 yr old leaving home and attending a "prestigious" dance school/college is not something either she or we want. She hasn't auditioned anywhere else because she simply doesn't want to attend any other establishment. People can sometimes even criticise that decision. Not every child is ready to leave home at 16. Maybe she will at 18, time will tell. She may not even want to dance at 18. The point is, she is doing what she wants to do and is very excited for next year. For me, that is enough. I am happy that she is happy so I ignore any negative comments or other peoples well intended advice.

Same here. DD (and me) really didn’t want to audition for a school/college in London. Which was a challenge when looking at options. Moving out of home just 8 weeks after she turned 16 was also a factor. 
We had to look at the bigger picture. not just the school/college but also the accommodation/commute/living/travel home for holidays as well as maintenance costs etc. 
Just like you, Happiness comes top of our list as well.  

[Crystaltips]

On 31/10/2019 at 12:07, Pups_mum said:

I am sure you are absolutely right @drdance and @MAK though in my friend's case the other parents actually said "Oh, X College. That's a shame. My son is at Y College, they are far more selective" so I don't think there was any misinterpreting the intention there!

Yes I have two very good friends ( married to each other) and discussions about Cambridge are always avoided. She said to me once “Oh he went to Jesus College- medieval foundation very prestigious. I went to Sidney Sussex- handy for Sainsbury’s “. 

[MAK]

1 hour ago, Crystaltips said:

Yes I have two very good friends ( married to each other) and discussions about Cambridge are always avoided. She said to me once “Oh he went to Jesus College- medieval foundation very prestigious. I went to Sidney Sussex- handy for Sainsbury’s “. 

😂😂

[Dance*is*life]

I nagged and nagged my parents to let me leave my grammar school to which I'd won a scholarship through the 11+ . All I wanted was to dance!  Eventually they agreed to let me go to a performing arts day school.  I will never forget the momentous day when our incredibly awe inspiring, tweed suited headmistress came out of her inner sanctum to try and dissuade me!  I remember her words to this day - What if you don't succeed as a dancer? You won't be able to go on to university from there!  My ingenuous reply that I could always become a housewife probably led her to wash her hands of me!  But I have always blessed the fact that my parents let me do what I wanted, including going to the Royal Ballet upper school.  I was very lucky in that the LCC, as it was known then, allowed my original scholarship, which I had given up, to be transferred to RBS. They renamed it an Advanced Academic Award and I was invited to a party in the County Hall for those with this award.  I was a bit embarrassed to admit that I was going to train in ballet, when they were all off to do serious subjects at uni, but no - they told me that they actually envied me, because I was studying something I loved and knew what I wanted.  I succeeded in having a performing career, turned to teaching when I got married and for twenty years had a second performing career as a character artiste with our pro ballet company.  I also have a degree - a B.Phil (Hons) - through the RAD - just to prove my old headmistress wrong and I got it with First Class Honours!    I have had a life of ballet, which has continued to fulfil and inspire me and honestly I wouldn't have had it any other way.  My kids and grandkids and lovely hubby all know that for me truly dance is life............

Edited November 30, 2019 by Dance*is*life

[balletbean]

On 30/11/2019 at 21:52, Dance*is*life said:

I nagged and nagged my parents to let me leave my grammar school to which I'd won a scholarship through the 11+ . All I wanted was to dance!  Eventually they agreed to let me go to a performing arts day school.  I will never forget the momentous day when our incredibly awe inspiring, tweed suited headmistress came out of her inner sanctum to try and dissuade me!  I remember her words to this day - What if you don't succeed as a dancer? You won't be able to go on to university from there!  My ingenuous reply that I could always become a housewife probably led her to wash her hands of me!  But I have always blessed the fact that my parents let me do what I wanted, including going to the Royal Ballet upper school.  I was very lucky in that the LCC, as it was known then, allowed my original scholarship, which I had given up, to be transferred to RBS. They renamed it an Advanced Academic Award and I was invited to a party in the County Hall for those with this award.  I was a bit embarrassed to admit that I was going to train in ballet, when they were all off to do serious subjects at uni, but no - they told me that they actually envied me, because I was studying something I loved and knew what I wanted.  I succeeded in having a performing career, turned to teaching when I got married and for twenty years had a second performing career as a character artiste with our pro ballet company.  I also have a degree - a B.Phil (Hons) - through the RAD - just to prove my old headmistress wrong and I got it with First Class Honours!    I have had a life of ballet, which has continued to fulfil and inspire me and honestly I wouldn't have had it any other way.  My kids and grandkids and lovely hubby all know that for me truly dance is life............

Wow. Amazing

Just reminded me of a meeting I had with our local Deputy Minister for Education for an appeal as new funding regulations had wiped funding fur by DD as a result of recent changes. (Long story but eventually sorted) 

“ What is classical ballet ?” 😳 Said our ‘esteemed’ leader. I kid you not.
 

From a mother who was composed, having researched funding and the local law as-well as being well versed in the importance of a dance education and what I thought was ready to sell the whole package,  I was left completely dumbstruck.  
 

Needless to say this Deputy Minister for Education is no longer in office !! 

[annaliesey]

Feel your pain Balletbean and I’m guessing that if you felt a snub there by this parent then it was intended  I say this because I’ve had the same thing recently from no less than three dance mums I’m in regular contact with. You know the type .. their dds came out of the womb wearing pointe shoes! Haha 

 

my dd is taking up a place offered for vocational ballet school age 16 for sept 2020 (We are very excited for her) and most people in our circle have been surprised that she’s chosen this over a theatre college for age 18 because she is an all rounder and likes to sing too. Behind all this she just loves ballet and feel that this will challenge her more and it’s what she wants to do all day, every day. 
 

the remarks I’ve had (about academics) have been pretty snotty from these three mums. But.. I know for sure it’s based on their own insecurities and I can relate and sympathise with how they are feeling/worrying even though it doesn’t excuse their behaviour. Someone once said to me that others will want you to do well but not that well! And the snobbery around academics -v- dancers is not justified at all. It’s purely choice. 
 

I’m just extremely happy that after such a bumpy journey with dds dancing, that I can sit here and say I have a dd that loves her dancing so much and is in good shape physically AND mentally. No amount of snubs will tarnish that. She’s worked so much on mental health alongside some awesome training that what she wants to do next is something we are really positive and excited about. It’s no accident. We didn’t just think “oh but what about academics” at the 11th hour. She’s comfortable knowing she will pick things up later in life and has another career plan for that. 
 

but it’s the way things are said. There was one comment made in front of her actually but she gets it with pushy mums as has had this in various forms over the years and can just gently roll her eyes. 

Let the others worry with their insecurities and don’t let it get to you  it’s totally rubbish and a toxic waste of energy