Sarahzip123 Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 My son has expressed an interest in auditioning for Elmhurst. I am concerned about the life they will have there. No normal social school life as such. Coming home, having tea, meeting friends locally etc. can anyone shed light on what happens to the children there regarding friends and social lives? Do they miss out? Or build forever relationships with kids at the school? Also does anyone do Mon to Friday? We are quite near. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Picturesinthefirelight Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 My dd did none of that snyway before she went to voc school as she was always either at dsnce, at drama or MT rehearsals. She is a day student so the social side of things is harder as she is a bit out of things sometimes but they make new friends at their school just as they would at any new secondary school. At dd's school they are allowed to go out shopping in small groups on Saturday afternoons etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarahzip123 Posted August 10, 2015 Author Share Posted August 10, 2015 Thanks for that, did I read your thread about it being difficult for a day border as she was left out of social occasions at the school? J Hope things are ok now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Picturesinthefirelight Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 Much better at the moment as she did board last two weeks of term during show rehearsals/perfirmances. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JulieW Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 I'm sure you'll get lots of replies about this, but I'll chip in with my view. It is a completely different way of life and unless you were intending to send your child to boarding school anyway, it's one you're thrown into as a bit of a surprise. But whether vocational dance school or "regular" boarding school, they make amazing bonds with friends and some adults, and at least at vocational school they have one very big thing in common!!! (My son went to WL and Elmhurst and suffered terribly for the first year or two with homesickness, but we are still glad he did it) 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lifeafterballet Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 My advise would be to visit the schools. Open days or on audition day. We knew as soon as we walked in that it was the right school for Dd. There are sacrifices to be made but also so many positives. We could not have let her go anywhere else ! It's weighing up what is right for your child and family. We live 200 + miles away from school so dd stays weekends. In year 7 she didn't even want to come home at weekend leave ! Now she would love to ! We think it gets harder as the seriousness of the career pathway they have choosen increases. Spending quality time together during holidays I feel is far better than having her here for tea every day ! The two of us are off to Morocco for a ballet summer school tomorrow ! I certainly wasn't a ballet mum but I have learned so much about the world she is entering into ! It's scary ! But there is always plan B ! Academics are important ! Do your homework before you commit ! And Good luck xx 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarahzip123 Posted August 10, 2015 Author Share Posted August 10, 2015 Thanks, we weren't planning on sending him to boarding school at all! I am not a dance mum either he just stumbled in to ballet through a Royal Ballet outreach program and then he was accepted on the JA in London. He attends the the RAD boys ballet classes once a month at Elmhurst and he really likes the school. He has nothing in common much with his peers at his school as he is the only one dancing and spends lots of time dancing. I think we will just go with what ever happens. Not sure I could bear it if he struggled!! How come your son went to both? I don't know how any of this works at all so I feel at a disadvantage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harwel Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 (edited) As dancing boys get older, they can find it more difficult in the 'normal school' set up. If they want to dance they will be at the dance studio 3 or 4 nights a week as they get older, possibly dancing Saturday and/or Sunday at associate schemes. They may increasingly feel isolated from their non dancing peers and won't be able to take part in the 'normal activities' or want to. At vocational school, they dance with other like minded boys and can find a better sense of belonging. It is not all roses, they are in each other's pockets 24/7 which can lead to certain difficulties but they learn to adapt and get on with others. All vital skills for later in life. To get a boy to the correct standard for age 16 auditions is possible, but very difficult (depends what dance teachers you have near you). At vocational school they will start weight training and pas de deux at year 10 which gives them longer to develop the strength and skills for this vital element of male dance training. Vocational training is a whole different way of life to what most other people experience, but on balance most children love it once they settle and are surrounded by friends, activities and a great social life along side the chance to follow their dream career - I personally think it is far more important for boys to follow this route as the training for them outside of it is very sketchy in most areas. Edited August 10, 2015 by Harwel 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JulieW Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 Don't panic Sarah - you'll learn as you go like the rest of us. When my son got into JAs there were only a handful of us ballet parents on the forum. Fortunately there was a girl from our local dance school who went to WL and was a couple of years older so I could quiz her mum a bit, because I knew absolutely nothing. It was a steep learning curve :-) To answer your question, he was assessed or of WL in year 9, but went to Elmhurst and stayed there until he graduated. Good advice to visit the schools if you can and form your own opinion of where feels right for you, but remember that you won't necessarily have a choice! Lots of people on here with experience of different schools - if you have a search and dig around on the forum you'll find lots of info. Personally if I were doing it all again I'd still only be looking at WL and Elmhurst, but that's my personal preference. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mimi'smom Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 (edited) Just to add that it isn't possible to do Monday to Friday at Elmhurst (other than in the first term of year 7) due to RAD classes on a Saturday morning, which are officially optional but almost everyone takes them as encouraged by school. But many children if they live locally enough do go home for the weekend after that, including my dd although it means just over 24 hours at home! Good luck x Edited August 11, 2015 by mimi'smom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bestfootforward Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 The vocational school life is different for sure, but in my opinion it can be a fulfilling route to a dance career and adulthood. You are correct in saying that vocational children don't get to meet friends in the evening after school and live a "normal" life in that way, but they can live an equally fulfilling and rewarding life socially and indeed, the friendships they make are intense and often last a lifetime. They learn the valuable lessons of how to live with more difficult people, how to create space for themselves, and how to get their life organised efficiently. Like you, we had no intention of sending our child away from home at 11, but she was intent and we were also concerned about the way she would integrate into a normal high school because people didn't really "get" her drive and determination to dance. We have missed her terribly at times, but she adjusted surprisingly well (as did we), and when I hear parents at work discussing the problems they have with getting children out to school in the morning (and the arguments that ensue), alongside battles about friends, curfew times etc I am happy that we did the right thing. No set up is ever perfect, but when our daughter comes home, the time we spend together is precious and fun, and on the whole runs smoothly for all. We are less stressed (if a little more skint!) and it is a joy to see her developing into an independent young woman with very close friendships and an appreciation of her family life. There will always be children who don't settle, or who struggle with the lack of personal space or homesickness, but for the right child the vocational route is a good one. And as someone has already said, it's reversible if it doesn't suit! 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hfbrew Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 My son has expressed an interest in auditioning for Elmhurst. I am concerned about the life they will have there. No normal social school life as such. Coming home, having tea, meeting friends locally etc. can anyone shed light on what happens to the children there regarding friends and social lives? Do they miss out? Or build forever relationships with kids at the school? Also does anyone do Mon to Friday? We are quite near. Thank you. You asked about forever friendships. Well certainly ds thought of his fellow students as extended family and is still in touch with many, even if it's just to congratulate on contracts and send birthday messages. And it's not just the students who make long standing friendships, the parents do too! 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Picturesinthefirelight Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Whereas I am in contact with only one of my old school friends & dh with none of his. I think you are more likely to build "forever friendships" at vocational school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pas de Quatre Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Certainly strong friendships are developed at Vocational school, many of which are lasting. DD has kept in close contact with a few friends from her "normal" school, from Associate schemes, from Vocational 6th form and from a BA (Hons) degree course. These are all probably "lifetime" friends who you might say are an "inner circle - 2 or 3 people from each stage of her life who she meets up with regularly. Then there are many other friends who she stays in contact with via social media and is happy to see if their paths happen to cross. As hfbrew says, parents also become friends. There are some people I never see in the flesh these days, but we stay in contact through this board and faceboook. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stirrups36 Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 5 years on and it seems to me that they get very used to it being pretty much 5 years of socialising (along with the ballet of course). Every night is a sleepover, every night is a tea night. Son comes back from summer school and the day after, he's off into london to see school friends. As has been said, it will be much easier for your son to continue the dancing at vocational school. It is much harder (though of course, not impossible) for a boy to continue in general school and dance ballet. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 I agree with everything that everyone above has said ! I'm an Ex Elm and loved almost every minute of it. My dearest friends are still the ones from my Elmhurst 'family'. I'm also now a mum of vocational school and boarding school kids and I'm pretty sure that they are making friends for life. Good Luck. X 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarahzip123 Posted August 11, 2015 Author Share Posted August 11, 2015 Thanks so much! Harwel the isolation has already begun. That's why we are considering Elmhurst so seriously. Just be surrounded by like minded boys would be great! Bestfootforward your post brought tears to my eyes!! Lovely post sharing your experience, thank you. And Ellie, living proof of a happy vocational school experience. We will put in the application for there and WL probably as he's at JA's in London already. He probably won't even get in and then I won't have to worry!! Thanks again, I will probably be back on with more questions. Hopefully will meet anyone at Elmhurst Sunday associates sept if anyone is going from this thread. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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