Dancers Dad

27 minutes ago, balletbean said:

Hi. Just thought I would add not just for you but for all others currently in accommodation for NBS and the end of the summer term. And the dreaded ‘get out’. Whilst we all like to believe that they just have what they arrived with (full car for some) don’t be lulled into the idea that their possessions will now fit in the same car and you will be able to find a space at home for the summer. Lol. 
 

There are multiple self storage units in and around the city offering special rates for students over the summer break. One company we used provided a van to pick up all the boxes etc and the best part was they delivered it back to the new flat in-time for our return in the Sept. No need to be in attendance either as we had informed uS staff before delivery. I’m sure there would be no difference for Dwell. All companies are fully insured, with very little hassle. Best decision we made. Happy to share info as best as I can if required. 

See? This is the sort of thing you'd never think of (well, I wouldn't)! We'd already started talking about doing two trips in the summer!

I'd echo much of the above, particularly:

• Medlock is still pretty popular with the students, especially first years. Quite a few first years are moving out at the end of this year. It is definitely one of the cheaper options. It's not perfect but it's fine. The staff seem to be very busy but they do try their best for the NBS students.
• Only when you see all the accommodation do you realise just how close to NBS they all are! This is quite important, I think - they have a long day and walk back in the dark for quite a few months.
• I know a number of NBS students have booked Parkway for next year but having seen it again yesterday (when taking my daughter back to Medlock), I wouldn't be booking it. I know there are eight months to go but there is A LOT still to do and there is a serious materials (and to some extent labour) shortage in construction atm. It could well be brilliant but if you want certainty, think very carefully!
• I learnt nearly all of what I needed to know about NBS/accommodation etc from very helpful people on here - including people in this thread - so do make good use of people's experience. I'm happy to add my 4 months' experience as an NBS parent too!  And definitely go up and have a look round the accommodation too, get a feel for the location etc.

23 hours ago, Hairpinseverywhere said:

Hi @balletbean & @DancingShoesDD received the good news today just wanted to update for future applicants looking, received via email on this occasion 🙂

Congratulations! -  my daughter is one term in at NBS and loves it. I still remember the day she got her offer letter like it was yesterday!

Extremely helpful everyone, thanks very much!

@Dancing unicorn - no, they haven't been very specific

@balletbean and @FlexyNexy- excellent advice thank you. Liking the sound of Superdrug!

@Jan McNultyThank you. I did try a search but didn't get anywhere - probably lacking in search skills.

 @Medora - thank you. She's not but others are and her Mum is, so we can have a look.

Hello. My daughter has never really been a make-up person but now at vocational school has to have some stage make-up that she can use for shows.

Neither my wife nor I, nor my daughter, know where to start - any clues please? Is there some kind of ideal starter pack somewhere?

Thanks very much.

What an interesting thread - great question and responses. 

20 hours ago, glissade said:

Just for info ... does he pay the weekly cost for accommodation in the holidays too (so paying 52 weeks per year), or just in term time? 

Not sure if this was a London-specific question, but if not - when we researched accommodation for our daughter in Manchester, there were options to rent for 51 weeks or 38 (? or thereabouts) weeks but it was a considerably higher price for the lower number of weeks, which meant that you were paying pretty much the same anyway (in fact, a touch more I think) over the year! So always worth checking the two costs.

Basically, you pay the fees and you pay the accommodation. So obviously quite a big difference in rent between NBS and Central. Neither have their own accommodation so you'll need to go into general student accommodation.

But you can apply for a Dada grant, which can get you money off the fees - and off accommodation if you're on a very low income. See more here - https://www.gov.uk/dance-drama-awards

On 14/10/2021 at 11:08, Dancing unicorn said:

Hiya

we've had both! But only in the split sole! Found Capezio suitable for wider feet!

DD uses So Danca at voc school (split sole) lovely snug fit and true to size 

Hope that helps 🥰

Ditto for my daughter - loved her Capezios for ages but with heavy use at vocational school has found them slipping off a bit; has just bought some So Danca to try.

Her Capezios were 1.5 sizes up from regular shoe.

Some more encouraging research just out...

https://journals.lww.com/cjsportsmed/Abstract/2021/11000/Joint_Hypermobility_Does_Not_Increase_the_Risk_of.17.aspx

1 hour ago, Farawaydancer said:

Not my experience with the clinicians I work with on a daily basis diagnosing anxiety disorders but maybe your experience is different. 

🙂 Indeed it is. There is probably no more controversial or disputed book in the world than DSM 5. 

But anyway, that's a different discussion.

21 minutes ago, Anna C said:

This might be of use, @Dancers Dad   https://www.dynainc.org/docs/hypermobility.pdf

 

Also some info here:  https://www.ehlers-danlos.com/2017-eds-classification-non-experts/psychiatric-psychological-aspects-ehlers-danlos-syndromes/

 

 

 

👍 Thanks very much - just pinned those to my browser for reading when I have a mo.

2 hours ago, Farawaydancer said:

All of this is what I started to write but you’ve put it much more concisely, thank you!

 

The diagnostic criteria for anxiety disorders and hypermobility syndromes aren’t open to interpretation, they’re defined and diagnosed by medics when appropriate. 

Thanks Anna C - very interesting. I certainly would like to read more on this.

Farawaydancer - The diagnostic criteria for anxiety disorders are spectacularly open to interpretation. (I don't know enough about hypermobility syndromes to comment really, although it does strike me as something that would very much be dimensional rather than easily segregated, discrete conditions).

6 hours ago, Thecatsmother said:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3365276/

 

lots of other negative aspects to hyper mobility which are often not discussed.

Interesting. Quite early stage research and simply stating a correlation - but I'm still curious. I'd be interested in the social factors that play a role - eg Do hypermobile people go into training/careers that have a higher likelihood of stress? Also, the definitions of both hypermobility and anxiety are wide open for interpretation. So while I'm interested in this, I wouldn't draw any conclusions.

23 hours ago, CMcBallet said:

https://australianballet.com.au/behind-ballet/strength-beats-stretch

 

https://dancemagazine.com.au/2019/09/why-the-australian-ballet-dancers-quit-stretching/

 

worth a read! 

 

Great articles, thanks. And completely chimes with what the two S&C specialists my daughter has seen say. All about the strength. Cold, pre-class stretching of little or no value and actually can damage - yet nearly everyone in class still does it.

On 11/10/2021 at 09:18, balletbean said:

All things happen for a reason. DD has been  offered a contract to which she has accepted. One very excited DD one very relieved mum. 🥰

Bravo!

I remain very glad that I kept my daughter off social media for as long as humanly possible!

I'm interested to read the above because my daughter's hypermobility has been as much a hindrance as a help - for example, when dancers have to put their arms out straight, her 'straight' is actually beyond 180 degrees because of her elbow hyperextension and she has had to work really hard to recognise where 'straight' actually is and hold her arms there instead.

I'd say to make sure your daughter has a good perspective on the day. Most auditions for most dancers end in a no thanks, so treat the day as an experience in itself to enjoy and learn from. The result isn't everything. Most dancers love to perform, so let her enjoy performing for the people running the audition.

And remember that each school is looking for slightly different things so a 'No' may not be because the dancer is not good but instead may be because, for whatever reason, they're not the right fit for the school.

1 hour ago, cotes du rhone ! said:

@Luke Jennings

You are so so right in everything you say.
It was our responsibility as patents to speak up, but sadly you feel so isolated and afraid that you might be the only ones that you don’t. And then that time had past and you are left like me sharing experiences anonymously on a forum and accomplishing nothing 🙁 

 

This is very sad. You've been very honest about your experiences - and you certainly won't have been the only person caught in this impossible bind. I have every sympathy.

8 hours ago, Emmabclarke said:

I'm reading these comments and I don't recognise these experiences. I realise each family's experience is different and every child's ballet journey is different.

 

However:

 

My experience of RBS and my child's experience bear *no resemblance* to these accounts.

 

If I didn't have total faith in the pastoral care my child has received, I'd have taken my child out of the school.

 

If I didn't have total faith in the school's ability to help my child become a grounded, rounded, happy, well-educated young person I'd have taken my child out of the school.

 

If I didn't have total faith in the school's ability to help and support my child when difficulties, illnesses and injuries arise, I'd have taken my child out of the school.

 

If I didn't have total faith that the school would listen to any concerns and react positively and quickly, I'd have taken my child out of the school.

 

I wouldn't have let my child stay in an environment where I didn't believe my child's best interests were being served.

 

I will make no further comment because honestly, this is everything I want to say.

 

 

 

 

 

I think everyone on the thread has agreed that some children will thrive at dance school and it's great that yours is/was thriving. It's helpful for parents considering dance schools to be able to see the whole range of views, including yours.

11 hours ago, SissonneDoublee said:

And this is it. For some it works, and the child thrives, and for others it doesn’t. But if your child is not thriving, you can bring them home. Children leave vocational school every year, and return to regular school. There is always lots of coming and going. And children in regular school are not exempt from bullying and mental health difficulties, sadly. We have always taken the attitude that DD is there for as long as it is working for her, and I monitor this carefully every time she is home. She is thriving at a school that other people upthread have been unhappy with because different children have different needs, and wherever your child is at school (vocational or not) you need to keep communication channels open to monitor how they are doing. It’s not a permanent decision, and for the vast majority of applicants not even a decision they will have to make. But it is important to be aware of bullying and mental health issues in teens whatever your child does for secondary school, and to bear in mind that competitive, perfectionist children are much more likely to have certain issues.

This is a good counterpoint (and your following post) to some of the posts, like mine, that are perhaps more worried about the lower school experience. It really does depend on the child - and the parents. That the child always knows there is a way out, no matter how prestigious the school or how much money spent, is critical.

One other separate point: I don't know about the really big name schools but there are several schools who take not only 16 year olds but 17, 18 and even 19, 20 year olds, so your child can start at the right point for your them.

I appear to be 7 years late to this thread - but yes, I'm a cricket fan! And player. And occasionally writer. About to put the kit in the loft for another winter...

16 minutes ago, Jane said:

It’s hard to send an 11 year old off though with the tools to manage things that you cant anticipate or maybe we were naive. We thought she would be cared for, small school wonderful reputation on paper. 
Things like your room mate will wake you in the night to terrorise you with comments about your hair colour, clothes etc. The pastoral staff tell you not to get out of bed after lights out even if you need a wee or start your period - everytime you do will get a point against you and when you reach a certain number will miss a weekend event. That when you are feeling unwell the medical staff are not available and you don’t have access to your mobile to call home. That the dance staff’s attitude towards you can turn on a pin. That the inspectors for Independent schools would scoff when your child and their peers raised issues and instead told them they should stop moaning as very lucky to be there - they were randomly picked for the meeting. 

That sounds truly dreadful. You're right, there's no 11 year old in the world who can be prepared enough to deal with that. It would test most adults.

6 minutes ago, Farawaydancer said:

But how well things go will be down to personalities (as well as their physical and mental health needs) -  your child’s, their teachers, their classmates. Those things you can’t predict. The teacher that caused my ds so much difficulty in the early years was loved by many others pupils.  

Well, this is very true. You can plan and think and consider all you like but much remains in the lap of the gods. I suppose that's why I tend to like the idea of sending your child off with the tools to manage whatever comes along: a bit more awareness of themselves, who they are, their strengths and weaknesses - and, crucially, that just because one adult in a position of power says something, it's not gospel. 

Our 16 year old daughter has just started at another school, so I can't comment on those you're looking at. However, on the general point of going to lower school and boarding, I guess I'd think long and hard about it and also be curious about the route of staying in conventional training (with Associates, Summer Schools etc thrown in) until 16, then going to upper school. Would this suit your child better? Would they lose any ground?

We are also a non-dance family and really it was only through ignorance that we didn't consider lower schools. It was only when our daughter become deadly serious about being a ballerina that we looked into how to give her the best chance of making it happen. And although she is quite a young 16 year old, I feel like we've had a bit more time to give her the self-awareness and self-belief to withstand some of the vicissitudes of dance school.

I should say that I probably also bring in a certain bias, having boarded (not dancing!) myself from a young age and not wanting to put my children through the same experience.