Cara in NZ

Thanks so much ZooZoo! I hadn't posted before as it was a 'no', but then, as you say, I decided that it was important to record the setbacks as well as successes. It's been good for helping us get dance into perspective as it is slowly creeping into so many parts of our life. DD (11) told a friend last week that she'd like to be 'a dancer or a doctor'. Hmmm let's see. I figure you can still dance while being a doctor (not thinking about comparative incomes at all!)

Just for those who were interested, DD didn't get in. But seems ok about it, and has a huge challenge already this year as she is going from Grade 3 RAD into Int Foundation. I'm pretty sure, from looking at the audition checklist of things, that out of ten requirements she maybe met eight or nine but, as I said to her, I suspect they only take people with all ten. So we will work on her weaker points (jumps and sparkle, aka 'performance quality'). I thought you could only audition once for Yr 7 but since find that they were numbered in age order. As she was 19 out of 48, that means two-thirds of the kids were older than her and so presumably they do take some later if they are slower to develop all the qualities. I am leaving it until later in the year and will then enquire whether she wants to try again. I'm slightly relieved that now we 'only' have five classes a week instead of seven!

Just had classes confirmed for 2015 (NZ school year starts in Feb) and DD has three IF classes, one open IF/performance class (whatever that is), and her private lesson each week. One-hour classes and half an hour for private. The head of our school is on the RAD examiners' board so I guess this is how she likes to do it. Our studio only has vocational after Gr 5 at the moment – I guess if you don't want to do vocational you have to go somewhere else. But our studio has merged with the best one so we are still figuring out how it works (DD was one of the oldest in our original school so we have merged with a school that has seniors and we are the newbies). They may introduce Grades 6+ if there is demand, I guess. (Hope that made sense)

Just reporting back – audition was yesterday and seems to have gone well (AND I bought ballet socks in a '30% off hosiery' sale). But I gathered more info off a mum who knows a girl who got in last year. It isn't as comparable to UK JAs as I thought – it is for the junior development programme at our national ballet training school, but there is no quota and they only take a handful of kids who they see potential in. Last year they took three kids from our region! And there were 48 at the audition yesterday. So we are expecting a no and trying to forget about it. It's all good experience, and she said she enjoyed it, even having to go straight into make-up afterwards to dance in two end-of-year studio concerts! Thanks for the good wishes, tips, and support.

Thanks Sheila! My reasoning was that she would never wear it while it smelled, and it was given to me, so I had nothing to lose. It's still drying and I am hoping it will recover.

Just wanted to let you all know that I have just VERY gently washed my entire tutu in the bath. It is upside down on a bucket in the bath to drip. I tried spraying it but the smell got worse, and started to smell like cat pee so I figured washing it was the only way. I'll see how it dries, and if it needs stiffening I will cross that bridge when I come to it... Thanks for all the tips.

I think that's a great summary, Legseleven. The only thing I would add is that when 'justifying' this business, I compare it with having a child who is talented in a musical instrument, perhaps piano. You wouldn't say 'Oh, they probably won't be a concert pianist so we won't bother to take things further.' You'd say 'Let's support them to go as far as they can, for as long as they need us.' That's our approach anyway!

Quite agree with you, Anjuli. But DD's private lesson teacher (who trains RAD examiners) was telling me only last week that parents need to think of ballet as they would if their child was learning a musical instrument; that regular practice in the basics (equivalent to scales and arpeggios) is vital for progress. Her complaint was that kids just turn up to class and do nothing in between. So I guess we are aiming for a happy balance between no practice and too much/risky practice?

Sure, thequays – I don't know that I could ever justify the expense of a barre at home anyway! But my DD does simple pliés and tendus to warm up (using a fireguard for support). I know we all want to help cssmith, and it is still early days for her DS, but I thought saying 'no practice at home' seemed a little drastic?

My DD (age 11, three classes a week, RAD Grade 3 but going into IF next year) is certainly expected to practise at home, especially coming up to exams. She does mostly stretching for flexibility, calf raises, Theraband work on her feet to strengthen them. But also daily arabesques on demi-pointe and holding releve on demi-pointe in fifth to build strength. And her competition solos rely on practice at home as they're only worked on for her 30-minute weekly private lesson. Of course they need to be careful, and I keep an eye on her alignment and technique, but I think it is perhaps over-cautious to say they shouldn't practise at home. I also borrow our church hall to allow her more space sometimes. They have no time to experiment in class really!

I think 'has he got what it takes' is not a definite thing when you're 9. My DD is only 11, but it has all been her motivation and wanting more challenges this last year. Our job as parents is really to facilitate things (within our logistical and financial means), but not to push them faster or further than their motivation. I do have a son who is now 23, and at 9 he certainly had some very different ideas about what he wanted to do compared to how he ended up (teaching English in Korea!). So don't rush, there's plenty of time and I think you have to see if it's him who wants more. Hope that helps!

My DD appears to have all the right things in all the right places – BUT she is naturally reserved, especially in unfamiliar situations, and so I can imagine her not getting in simply because she doesn't have an extrovert's enthusiasm and outward focus. Hopefully the more she performs, the better she will be able to convey her 'inner sparkle'!

Thanks, JulieW. You're quite right – these are 'trainer liners' so fairly thin. But we are going to have a grand trying-on session as she is at 'that age' and worried about any immodesty around the 'bikini line'. So as she just needs to wear a plain leotard, I will get her to try them all on without tights and see what she feels comfortable in. I'm thinking not black? She is a long, slender build so I thought just no low-cut leglines as we want them to look as long as possible? Any other tips?

Thanks Tulip! It just says 'white or pink ankle socks' so I'm guessing they realise none of the girls wear socks for ballet after age five and aren't expecting you to buy a pair especially. With only a week's notice, I just KNEW they'd want something she didn't already have. I have 'trainer socks' in pale pink, so no cuff on them but they cover her ankle bone and I'm sure they'll be fine. I get the impression that things are a little less formal in NZ (and have lived in the UK for ~half my life so I have some understanding of the differences, though not in the ballet world!). I do appreciate you checking!

Thank you both – got the letter about what to wear today, and it's socks... when she's been in tights for the last four years! But after reading about socks in this forum, I realise it's to see their muscles/feet, and will lend her a pair of mine. So cool to have support from fellow travellers!

I have already posted last month about my DD auditioning for New Zealand's JA equivalent national programme (age 11). It's in a week, and I have spent a few evenings reading every post on here about JA auditions! Was feeling very negative about putting her through this, but she had a really good private to prepare for it yesterday. I think she's ready for it now. HOWEVER, our annual end-of-year dance show is on the same day, and the audition starts just as she is meant to arrive to prep for the show! Fortunately they are both at the same venue, and both sides know about the clash. So I will be poised with her costume and make-up the second she comes out. Can do the hair beforehand, and the studio has scheduled her dance near the end of the show but we are just hoping for half an hour to take a deep breath and get sorted. We are both the types of people who like to be prepared and not 'rushed', and it's her first audition. The other girl from her grade who is auditioning has gone to heaps of musical theatre auditions and is used to the competition circuit and dashing from classical to jazz to lyrical. We only started privates in Feb and competitions in Sept so are still quite new to it all. Just hoping we will be calm – and I wanted to say how grateful I am for all the posts here that have made me feel better about it all!

This is a bit late, but may help someone. I've watched a Youtube video about laundering professional tutus, and they sat them on a bucket of soapy water and then just pushed the leotard part down into the water while the skirt stayed dry, supported on the rim of the bucket. My problem is that we've been very kindly given a beautiful tutu that has been stored in a plastic tutu bag for about 3 years. It's clean but it smells unpleasant (not sweat, more chemical). I've had it hanging over a dehumidifier for 4 days now but DD still wrinkles her nose every time she passes by (and it takes up quite a lot of space!). Any ideas on deodorising/freshening it up? She won't fit it for a few years but I'm worried that if I store it the smell will get worse. I plan to store it in a cotton storage bag to try to prevent this, and just use the plastic one for transporting tutus. Any other tips from people?

I just wonder if parents ever think of paedophiles searching dance competitions for photos. I've seen some pretty revolting things written under Dance Moms (US) Instagram photos too. What happened to protecting your kids from the nastier side of adult life?

I had a look on Youtube as Dance Mums isn't available in NZ. That 'Cabaret' number they did for Abby made my stomach churn. Those kids are aged about 8 to 13 and the opening move was one of them with her back to the audience and legs spread wide, on a chair doing a 'Liza Minnelli'. I have always been glad DD (just 11) didn't want to do jazz, not because I object to it as a form of dance, but because I didn't know how to explain to her my discomfort at how easily the dances can become sexualised when the dancers are too young to understand the concept. Minefield!

Dance Moms (US) isn't shown in NZ so what I've seen has only been on YouTube. But it has so little ballet in it that I find it very jazz/lyrical focused (quite apart from the dreadful moms). I've seen one episode feature ballet, but it shows very little of their actual technique training. It's always about learning new routines for comps, which is such a 'tip of the iceberg' approach, knowing how much work goes on to get good foundations in all the forms of dance they do, as well as the tumbling/acro. I will look for the UK version on YouTube, mostly to see if it is more ballet-oriented. I do have hopes that the UK mums will be less loud and obviously opinionated, but as I originally hail from very near Liverpool, I suspect they may be even louder! And yes, the mums at our studio are lovely and supportive, with no overt competitiveness. My DD has been resting a strained knee before exam and comp this week, and several of the mums have felt concerned enough to ask me how she is doing and whether she will be ok by exam time. I was quite touched at their thoughtfulness, as we don't know each other very well.

DD (almost 11) has had no instruction on 'performance' (apart from smiling) until private lessons this year. She is a naturally reserved child, and was a bit disappointed at 'only' getting 80% in her Grade 3 exam as she worked so hard on her technique. Now that her private lesson teacher (an RAD examiner) has talked to her about performance, and explained that even the examiner is looking for emotional engagement, we both suspect that her mark was affected by her 'restrained' approach to dancing. I'm not sure when this would be discussed if she was just in normal classes!

I must admit that when choosing a school when DD was five (now almost 11), my chief criteria were: 1. Being in a nearby suburb, and 2. Being able to book it all online. So we did a fairly recreational four years in church halls. But then our school merged with the 'most serious' school (that I had ruled out because it was in town with terrible parking. A conscientious ballet mum I was not). I did have doubts about this at first, especially as they had done Grade 1 TDI and then had to do Grade 1 RAD so we felt we were repeating ourselves, even after they explained the exam we had done was equivalent to RAD Primary. But after watching her for a year, they asked DD to do private lessons and competition work – so it now seems a blessing in disguise, as she has ended up with the best teachers in town. The recreational kids' mothers are all a bit disgruntled by the strictness and extra exam classes, however!

Just wanted to say that my DD (almost 11) goes to pieces if she is shouted at, so we asked around carefully before staying at the school we are with (which just merged with the best one in town). Apparently the head of the school shouts, but she only works with the seniors so DD has some time to harden up But, as I said to her, why would I pay someone to shout at her, when she is the most conscientious, hardworking kid in the class? I asked her how she feels when dancing her competition solo (as we are working on performance quality), and she said 'My head is like a beehive'. I like that description! I wish you well with your DD

Hi, so I'm not sure if UK festivals and NZ competitions are directly comparable, but DD has started competing a classical solo this year and next her teacher says she will learn 'a barefoot'. This won't be for a few months until the exam and Christmas show are over but she is excited about it. But I have no idea whether it is 'barefoot ballet', or 'contemporary' or 'lyrical' or 'modern' or even 'demi-character'. And does it have to be strictly in bare feet or can she wear 'foot undies' to help her with turning? And I don't know what S&D is that you refer to in the thread. Can anyone help?

There is a 10-yr-old in DD's class who swims VERY competitively, specialising in butterfly. Her shoulders have bulked up so much that her arms dangle in the air away from her hips when she stands normally. She is quite a petite child apart from her shoulders (and thighs). I do think you have to decide which takes priority before the teenage years.