Balletmummy18

My dd got a no too when she was in year 4 and similarly gutted as all her friends got a place ... horrible time ...fast forward a year and she got in which ,funny enough, we refused as she had other offers elsewhere... it’s not a ‘no ‘it’s a ‘not yet ‘..

My ds had a massive wobble due to teacher bullying and indeed lost the fire in yr8 at his vocational school... & there’s a thread on here if you want to read it. We took advice from people here and our gut instinct... in our case ...we listed pros and cons of leaving right now: leaving at October: etc This was very useful but also finding people both at school and outside to help with the underlying problem too... my ds stayed and he’s so pleased he did .even if in the future he decides to leave .. ..we have since watched many of his friends go through similar wobbles albeit for different reasons and indeed some have left as that was right for them...but take comfort that you are discussing the issue with yr son..I would only add take time to decide but review any descision regularly... Voc school is def not the only route to a happy fulfilled life with or without dancing!

It has been very interesting reading the reactions to this thread.. and blog .... and it’s brilliant to have a debate about this .. .One of the things I was scared of as a parent when my child was being bullied by their teacher at a top vocational school was that I had over reacted to the teachers comments. It took a good few comments from forum members here to robustly point out to me that what was happening to my child was unacceptable...sometimes objectivity is what’s needed.... in my dc’s case ,once he changed teachers , he’s had a fantastic time at the same school.

I think you all have articulated the problem perfectly particularly Pups Mum . It’s encouraging to see the issue explored in this forum as it can be a very lonely experience having a child at a top Voc school being bullied by staff.You can’t discuss it with other parents especially if their child is a favourite with said teacher: you certainly can’t discuss it with pastoral leaders or the head- your child would simply be asked to leave... it’s that supply and demand problem. In our case we got through it mostly with the help of my dc ‘s old ballet teacher and wise words from helpful people on this forum. I can’t thank people enough for their support from here. My dc is still at the school but has a fantastic teacher who has restored his confidence and joy in dance - for now.

Hi just wanted to update this thread and let you know that my dc is totally thriving this year in the same school with a different teacher! Such a relief to see him happy and healthy again and loving ballet ! Your advice ,forum members ,was incredibly useful and we are really grateful to all of you who posted for getting us through that terrible time . Thankyou!

Thankyou Ballet4Boyz! ...& yes Kat09 there definitely should be more information for parents. We are sad to say that had we known what this year would be like, we would never have encouraged him to audition for vocational school. I know that must sound brutal to most and a reaction to our dc current experience. It's just that he is academically bright and thus could have so easily have followed an arguably easier(!) path .

Hi Thankyou again for your responses to my op . For my dc we have decided to battle in through until the end of term as there is so much he does like about the school- not least the other ballet teachers.With the help of many people on a weekly basis ( including his old ballet teacher) he is beginning to find ways to respond resiliently to his bully of a teacher . he is now looking forward very much to starting afresh with a new teacher in September. However, should the school inform us before the end of term that he will have his teacher from this year, he will leave. Equally we are going to review the situation in October and withdraw him from the school if he is not feeling happy in any way.Neither he nor us can go through this again. i just want to add that complaining to the school and indeed ofsted is obviously something we have carefully considered ...& certainly our concerns would trigger another no notice inspection for the school .However cynically I believe that such is the prestige of the school, ofsted would , as in the past,have no effect on the teacher or the insitution itself. Our absolute selfish priority is our son and his happiness and health and this I think is the best way forward for him and us.

Thankyou very much for validating my feelings about the teacher..Waitingmum and everyone have given us plenty to think about.. roll on half term!Thankyou

Hi , to give you an idea of my dc treatment from his ballet teacher: when the teacher was notified of his severe anxiety from his form tutor and the nurse/ school counsellor, the response was to take him aside and ask if he was worried about getting things wrong in class . When my son said yes ,the teachers response was ' well I don't know why you are anxious as you don't work hard enough in class to have anything to worry about'... not a helpful response ... we have not approached the teachers as it is absolutely a closed shop there. If we did , We know our dc will probably be asked to leave as he is a weaker student amongst his class. We also know that criticism bordering on bullying is a way of life in the ballet world and dc has to find a way of becoming more resilient if he's to be successful and happy. Thsnkyou so much for the messages of support -it gives us a bit of clarity and relief to know others have been through it and we are not alone !

Ok thought long and hard about writing this post but here goes. my dc is at a top Voc ballet school and this year has had a very tough time with the ballet teacher.. Consequently he suffers now from anxiety. The School have been fantastic in their support with the exception of the ballet teacher . However, my dc now wants to leave the school.. well this week he does. My trouble is that his opinion keeps changing from screaming at me that he wants to leave to a ' not sure'! I have suggested that he hangs on until next year ( as he has passed his assessments) when he will have a different teacher and his opinion might change. However I am also worried about his mental health too!! Has anyone else faced this dilemma? He is in yr 8.