annaliesey

That's very sad to hear the phrase 'invisible or useless' I'm not up with associate audition timings but I thought there were the odd few around that take auditions all year round apart from the obvious ones Good luck though

Thank you hfbrew for comments as great to hear your perspective as a teacher Absolutely I would. So this is part of my dilemma on what to do now and why I mention that this other girl will only have done 35hrs (one class a week etc) whereas we will have done the recommended 78 hours or so by the time my DD takes her exam and the teacher would presumably want her and two other students to be high merit/distinction level before doing the exam. I could possibly have a conversation about my DD doing her exam early too and risking a lower mark but I'm not sure of whether there is benefit in this or not. At the moment there is no grade 5 running so if this girl and one other do their exam in nov there would only be two students in the class but one of them is giving up ballet after she does her grade 4 exam so this girl would be the only grade 5 student and presumably have private lessons for a while until the other students do their exam. However it's a double edged sword because even if my DD does do her exam then she would be stuck in a class with this girl with the same problems that there are now. But very likely if I had a conversation about my DD doing her exam earlier then her two friends would probably do it too so maybe that would be OK. And thats OK though as everyone knows where they stand and what they are aiming for Yes But the teacher doesn't accept there is any of this happening and says the class isn't stop/start even though my DD spoke directly to her and gave examples of what she meant so it didn't come from me.

Yes it it's Janet. DD says they will get started with something and they'll all be happy with getting through the syllabus, doing what they've been told to do with use of terminology which they get and they go for it then the teacher stops and either explains the terminology (and they groan because they know it and don't want to pause whilst she explains it to others) or she will demonstrate the exercise/position for those that don't know it. Apparently my DD is used to demonstrate which winds her up even more

Thank you I feel a bit reassured now it is hard as I completely understand that the teacher has a passion for teaching ballet to anyone and everyone at all stages in their lives and it's one of the things I love about her. She also quite frankly has a business to run. I get all that. But my priority is my DD and I have to listen to what she's saying and I'm seeing and hearing things that help me understand what's going on and why and how. That's exactly it. I took her to another teacher for some IF classes as we missed 6 out of 12 in a term because of competitions and her teacher had no plans or time available to make up time (I would have paid extra). After those classes my dd said that she really wished her current classes were like that. She felt that she got so much out of them. She told me that she had actually done things wrong in her current class on purpose to see if it was noticed and it wasnt and this is why she thinks she should move. It's me that feels awkwardly loyal but I think I need to get over that. I've focused on the other girl to try and put into context myself what is happening just to try and make a decision. Yeah I really can't do that without just coming across all bitter and twisted or like I'm telling her how to run her dance school it was bad enough when we did 6 classes somewhere else. The timetable was changed and the class we were going to elsewhere suddenly clashed with her regular pointe class! And besides I can put money on her saying that it's all DD's fault for one reason or another as Ive had 8 years with her and can predict precisely what she'll say

Thank you sarahw There's no way I can talk to the teacher now as she's far too defensive and emotional and I would be wasting my breathe I feel. She knows there is a challenge with balancing the needs of experienced students with newbies as she introduced a ballet technique class about 4 years ago so that students brand new to ballet started in those classes before moving to a graded class. Somehow though we ended up with newbies in the graded class instead of the technique class and I suspect that she was a bit soft in dealing with a pushy mum and thought she could deal with the range of abilities in the class. Obviously it's her call and not my place to challenge that. All I'm doing now is listening to my dd's frustrations about the stop/start scenario she describes and I genuinely can't make up my mind right now to support her and move her ballet to where she wants to go or whether to suggest that she hang in there and see how things pan out especially as she's happy with pointe and IF

I honestly have had this attitude for the last 2 years when this first started. I've always said to my daughter to focus on herself. When other mums have started talking Ive walked away Absolutely. And that's what's changed unfortunately. Being the sort of person I am I have tried to understand things to be sympathetic to the pressures the teacher has been under rather than quickly change schools. I've tried to get an understanding of whether it's a temporary blip or the way things are going to be long term. Unfortunately it seems that this is the way it's going to be long term which is why I'm listening to my daughter begging me to let her take ballet with a different teacher. In her own words she feels like her teacher doesn't pay much attention to her any more. I know I come across envious and carping and I feel that! It's not towards the girl though but rather I'm envious or resentful of how things have changed with the teaching. I do feel let down if I'm honest about how the teacher can prioritise this one girl over and above her long standing, hard working students that have consistently achieved good grades. They always turn up (and pay!) for the extra classes, the exam rehearsals, the summer and easter schools, they do the fetes and galas (whereas the other girl doesn't) and they are they ones that do EYB, LCB etc that she's seemingly proud of yet happy to slow their progress down to focus on one girl. At this rate she'll only be left with this one girl in this class as one girl kicked out for non payment, one giving up ballet altogether as bored, and my daughter and two friends want to go elsewhere. Agree. That's why I haven't been sucked into it as far as anyone outside this forum and my husband are concerned! I wouldn't say to anyone and especially my daughter as I completely agree and we've been on the receiving end of whispers on plenty of occasions and know the harm it can do. Not actually just to that other child but also I don't want my DD to be resentful. There's a difference between comparing to be inspired and motivated to comparing and being jealous. Yes but not in the way you are alluding to (unless I've got that wrong?) the mum is very gloaty and boastful and has this way of putting others down. The girl not as much but there have been more instances recently. It's not really working out like that as according to my dd it's more a case of taking away from them to give to her (exaggerated) That's exactly how I'm feeling right now. My dd, her three other friends all in the same graded Ballet class and this girl are all in the competition troupe. My dd and this girl are the ones that go up against each other competitively because of age categories and one of the teachers had been watching to much dance moms I think and really pitched them against each other. I think that's part of the problem. If we move it will be to a school that doesn't have a competition team Thank you and bluntness fine with me I would rather people say what they think otherwise no point in offering up the topic it honestly would only be a move due to teaching alone as I'm pretty good at ignoring other irritating behaviour

Yes that's how it has always been for the 8 years we've been there. Nobody skips grades etc if they go then come back. However brand new students off the street, so to speak, get put in at grades appropriate to them after an assesment. Sometimes they go in a high grade and ahead of existing students of similar age but usually nobody pays any attention at all. Similarly students leave and people don't pay attention much to that either. It's usually pretty easy going. The reason there was attention given to this was because my daughter and two of her friends in the class were upset that they were told by the mum and the girl (separately) she was "too good for their grade". Usually stuff like this doesn't get gloated about so openly. (There's been a lot of smug and gloaty comments but students and mums all ignored them initially and just put it down to excitement and ignorance of people's feelings). I've never known a student to fail. I wouldn't wish that on her either as its not her fault if she gets entered for an exam before she's ready. But, our school does work on the basis of you have to take an exam before you move up. It does seem that there are inconsistencies with the emphasis on exam marks that people aim for though and I can't quite figure out how I feel about this and this is probably the root of any envy or carping I feel. Most students are encouraged and only entered for exams when the teacher feels they could achieve a high merit or distinction. I've known students stay a year or more behind their peer group because the teacher didn't think they were high merit/distinction level. But for some reason this focus has changed for this girl and a couple of others where scraping a pass is good enough. I would prefer for my daughter to carry on aiming for high merit/distinction before moving up as what's the rush? She's doing inter foundation and pointe and happy with what she's doing in those classes but there is a "better than you" behaviour creeping into the graded syllabus classes that is really awkward to respond to and handle with dignity. When I said in my earlier posts that this girl was absent from half the ballet classes in a term that was because she was taking classes in another genre to prepare for a retake where she only passed by a couple of marks

I can't help feeling a bit miffed about something but part of me just says to mind my own business too.... Here goes ... Our RAD teacher/studio owner put an 11yo straight into grade 4 having never done any ballet before. I don't have too much of a problem with this on its own as I guess it happens. My DD is about 8 months younger with this girl and has been doing ballet since she was 3 and couldn't understand why this newbie went in a grade higher than her. I brushed this off with her and said to just focus on herself and that this other girl would probably be in the grade for quite a while. Anyway wind forward 5 months and my DD and this girl are in the same grade class. My DD complains that the class is really stop/start as when they start to learn some syllabus stuff the teacher frequently keeps stopping to explain things. DD and Her other three friends who've also been dancing since tots all say the same. I fed back concerns to teacher who got a bit stroppy saying they had covered a lot, the class was going at fairly fast pace, and the following week they came out with A4 sheet of paper showing what they had covered in 6 months and it was all exercises and no dances. DD says she's getting bored and can I take her to one or other of two RAD teachers that we know. I explain that there's some loyalty to the teacher and not really fair to go elsewhere because of late starters joining. Anyway, she (DD) agrees that maybe she is being impatient and she would see how it goes. One of her friends had told her that she and the girl I mentioned earlier are doing their exam in November. DD is really cross to hear this (I have to reason to disbelieve this). This new girl has only been in the class for 3 terms at 1 hour per week. Plus for one whole term she missed at least half the class and for another whole term they were doing non syllabus stuff. By my reckoning the girl has done and will have done about 35 hours by the time the exam happens. Now, I know it's only a guide and that students own practise hours can make up the recommended hours to about 78hrs as on the RAD website BUT our teacher has been very firm with all students up until this point about classes and Hours needed for exams. She has always said it's an exam every other year based on one hourly class per week or one exam grade a year based on two hours a week. The mums (including me) who see that this girl only pays and attends one class a week is on track to do her exam in less than half the time and cost as other girls. Now is she super talented? Who knows. Maybe. But personally I don't see it but then I'm not a dance teacher. My DD and two of her friends are all ready to take lessons elsewhere either aswell as or instead of where they are now because they are fed up with the teachers inconsistent and seemingly favouritising treatment of this girl. They feel they are going at a slow pace for her (and three other newbies) yet she has been given the opportunity of doing her exam so early. There is some other history here too but I won't go into that as not sure how relevant it is but depending on responses I might end up revealing more. It's been crazy with this girl. For example when she was put into grade 4 ahead of others of similar age who had been dancing since tots the teacher said it was because she was tall!! Obviously the mums found that extremely funny but just carried on as usual supporting our own kids. But I can understand my DD's frustration now and I think at age 11 if she says she wants to take lessons elsewhere then I should support her regardless of the loyalty I had previously felt to the teacher. Or should I just say stay where you are, mind your own business and concentrate on yourself regardless of what others are doing and how unfair it seems and trust the exam process. I am torn really as DD does a lot of dance there and it would make things awkward with other lessons but I've learned to trust her judgement more in the last year or so as she's pretty accurate with her assessments of what's what and can always give examples

Well I guess she probably would want to do it would she? Maybe you could tag onto another dance teachers exam session if yours don't come around very often

Can't she just move up without taking the exam? I don't think I'd want my daughter staying at the same level that she was "exam ready" for a year ago.

Is she doing many dances at the festival? Is it an important one for her? Would she do well and get a confidence boost there? When is it? To be honest I don't think I would wait about for it if it were me. Every negative comment can take ages to recover from and stroppy dance teachers are not worth the energy. Our kids spend too long at dance classes to be surrounded by teachers who pick holes and let kids get away with being mean. Every dance can ALWAYS be better but it's important to give praise to build confidence. It's also meant to be fun Why don't you start trying out some other places so you've got some comparisons sooner rather than later

DD's favourite bag broke recently and it's such a shame as it was the best one yet. She preferred one that had a handle to pull it along on wheels which was so much better if she had loads to carry somewhere and could put costumes, packed lunches and everything if needed in one bag rather than juggling bags. I think I'll actually take it back to the shop to get a replacement handle for it rather than get a new one.

Thanks Jane. I just read my post and it sounded like I was aiming for DD to wear orthotics in her ballet shoes when actually I didn't mean that I was thinking that just a ballet flat that was a bit more sturdy than canvass would be a good idea. She only went to podiatrist about 2 weeks ago and diagnosed so a bit new to us. But DD knew she was rolling in which was why we booked appointment Ballet teacher hasn't said a word. It was actually a different teacher altogether that mentioned to us when DD did 3 lessons with her so I'm not very reassured at the moment that current teacher will have much to contribute but I think I'll have a chat with her The first thing DD asked podiatrist was whether she needed to wear the inserts for dance and she (podiatrist) said no. I think we'll have to go shopping in next few days and considering how much time she spends in ballet flats it's prob best for her to try on

Is she doing this on both sides? I'd be interested in what more experienced people say on here about this as my DD is 11 and any exercises they are given to do at home they are completely sure of and build up gradually to it. (Although my DD is a bit of a pain by finding stuff on YouTube to have a go at and we've had words about that!) Also anything they are given they will usually get a printed off guide or the teacher will speak to the student with the parents around to emphasise the dos and donts. I think 11 is too young to just get told and exercise to practise unsupervised without checking more frequently .. What if they were doing it wrong for 4

No real preference on brand. She's been wearing canvass as really likes them but a) she pokes her toes through them after a short while so I was thinking something a bit more hard wearing would be better and more importantly she's hyper mobile and got orthotics on order so I thought something a bit more supportive than canvass would be a good idea. She had a beatiful capezio shoe before but I dont know the model (rubbed off) and I certainly don't know the widths so looks like we are actually going to have to go into a shop! Haha I was looking at bloch that have "power mesh arch insert" but I don't know what that is!!!

.. With crossover elastic I really cannot be bothered to go actual shopping again and just want to order online if I can Any recommendations ?

I would say your DD is your top priority and you do what you feel is right and don't wait about for anyone

I couldn't see anything on website about this in terms of whether it was paid or unpaid, whether travel expenses covered, whether chaperones needed and what the 'based in London' means ie; living in London or within under an hours travel. I was trying to see where in London it was being done so I could work out travel time

I wonder if the way people hear about these and book on influences the take up rate as the Cambridge one got cancelled earlier this year due to lack of interest

Just to say out of most of the people I know who do this, it's the parents that book children on and it's just a box that's ticked for the grade you want to book in on. Our teacher advertises the session and is there to answer questions but AFAIK doesn't have any other involvement

Dd did these when she was Grade 2 and absolutely loved it. She would have done them again but each time they've been announced she's had other commitments The thing I remember most was her saying it was difficult to follow a class with lots of terminology rather than being shown the moves. This was the first time she had experienced that so you may want your DD to brush up on ballet terminology if she doesnt use it much in regular classes. Oh and take some cash to buy a tshirt if you want one as they sell them on first day and very popular

I think just reading these bits a) they have made a snap judgement based on her not doing ballet for long enough (presumably the student must have told them in the shop) being a competitor has clouded their judgement It is admirable that fitters can be protective and serve in the best interest of what they see in front of them. Perhaps the student did or said something at the appointment that gave them concern. But considering that she had shoes already, has been working in them, it sounds to me like they just jumped to a conclusion based in the short amount of time she's been doing ballet. They won't be able to have an opinion based on multiple things as you have. Only you will know her strength in a broader sense, her personality for corrections, etc I can imagine you are deflated but unfortunately the wife is a competitor and people in competing businesses can sometimes try and score brownie points in the most unfortunate of ways

We don't get much choice with exams to be honest as otherwise child doesn't get to move up to next class DD wants to do exams as wants to have grade 6 at least for teaching (she's 11 but already decided that as someone told her she needed grade 6) There's audotions advertised too as "minimum grade 3" ballet and tap (billy Elliott ballet girls) and I don't know if they mean working at that level approx or if they want to see proof. I don't think it's proof as someone I know wasn't grade 3 tap and got in. I presumed that when auditions say stuff like this that they must have an idea of what's been covered in syllabus levels ?

I think I paid £50 for last RAD exam

Urghhh That's how I feel reading this When I think of all the hours, money, travel, mummy-drama especially ... who is doing exams and when, teacher getting enough students to run an exam session, getting entries in before cut off, meeting the "recommended hours" and remembering the minimum ages for grades ... What a load of faff if it isn't extremely useful!! I know you've all said about balance but honestly our whole ballet world seems to revolve around grades and exams Thankfully we've started EYB and CAT scheme starting next month and DD really enjoyed classes at Pineapple so perhaps we are naturally moving away from syllabus .. Maybe it's a natural evolvement but it makes you think about all the effort that goes in to working with syllabus