Help - should I continue?

[toefondue]

Told I have "potential" by qualified teachers but my dancing is ugly and weak. I don't get it. No prestigous dance schools. I wish God would just tell me if he wants me to dance professionally. How am I supposed to get good enough in one and a half years. I want to give up if God doesn't want me to go pro. Embarrassed about my dancing when taking classes from professionals and when auditioning for summer intensives. It's expensive and I have to pay for a large part of tuition, all of my pointe shoes, all leos and tights etc., and all summer intensives (not financial trouble, just a family rule so we're not surpised as adults). Working two or three times a week on top of school is a lot. Please help. Especially if you feel like God wants you to tell me something. Thanks.

[Beezie]

Hi toefondue.  No message from God here, but a message from a strong, successful lady.  First, you are also strong, successful, and have potential beyond what you imagine.  Second, you are chasing a 1-in-a-million career that doesn’t even last that long….4-5 years at best.  The journey is riddled with little abuses and degradations that threaten all the beautiful things you could be.  It’s not a journey I want for my daughters.  Instead, I want them to build a life-long hobby and love, answer that ‘what-if’ question if they want to, and then move on.
 

I probably sound like a parent, but I am one.  Education is your ticket to happy and successful life.  You don’t even have to be the smartest.  But you do need to be hard working….which I am sure Ballet has taught you a lot about.  There are so many great careers where your success and fame depend mainly on your hard work….not genetics, luck and other people’s judgement of your worth.

 

So I don’t want you to tell you to give up your dream….but explore some other dreams too.  And ask God (I do a lot)….but please, please, please don’t ask a forum for Godly advice.  We don’t have it…..and anyone who claims to, is not someone you should trust.

[Dance*is*life]

I'm afraid that there is no guarantee of becoming a professional dancer,  however talented you are!    I belive that G-d often moves in mysterious ways, but that things work out the way they're meant to.  It must be very hard for you having to work on top of school, so naturally you're frustrated when you don't feel you're getting anywhere in spite of all your efforts, so the question remains - how much do you love dancing?  If you feel that you want to dance no matter what,  then you should continue, but you must understand that the chances are slim for everyone and often we have to find alternative paths in order to fulfill our dreams.  In my humble opinion, you need to take a deep breath and stop agonising.  Ballet is beautiful , but demanding and sometimes even cruel!  If you don't enjoy it, it's not worth suffering for it! 

 

I started in ballet at age 3 1/2 and am still involved with it many decades later.  As my pseudonym says for me dance is life.  I went through several different performing and dancing careers, loving every minute and have been teaching for about 40 years now.   I still love ballet passionately!   I never became the top ballerina I dreamt about, but because of a career change I met my husband and we are coming up to 50 years together!  He understands how important and fulfilling my teaching is for me and so I carry on.   As I wrote before - ask yourself how much you love dancing and if you really enjoy it and get pleasure from it?   Remember that no-one can guarantee you anything and with that in mind - is it important enough for you to continue?   I could never imagine my life without ballet - can you???

Edited March 11, 2023 by Dance*is*life

[Ian Macmillan]

2 hours ago, Beezie said:

And ask God (I do a lot)….but please, please, please don’t ask a forum for Godly advice.  We don’t have it…..and anyone who claims to, is not someone you should trust.

 

Just so.  

[Swanwings]

Having potential means your teachers have probably seen something in you that you maybe cannot see just yet. It means what you may one day be capable of with the right training and hard work on your part. So dont judge you dancing too harshly.

 

Your future in dance however, really comes down to how much you love and want it. If dancing is the thing which makes you happiest and you love the training, hard work and any performance opportunities which come your way, then maybe you should go with it as far as you can. But its down to your gut feeling. You have to want it; it is a hard life with no guarantees of a job. It is a life literally full of blood sweat and tears, but as I say, if you love it so much that this does not matter, then follow your instinct, but its not for everyone.

[Doing Dance 1]

Some good solid advice here.

Take control of your own life.

Don’t wait for permission to pursue your passion, be that from a teacher or some ethereal entity.  

[Kerfuffle]

8 hours ago, toefondue said:

Told I have "potential" by qualified teachers but my dancing is ugly and weak. I don't get it. No prestigous dance schools. I wish God would just tell me if he wants me to dance professionally. How am I supposed to get good enough in one and a half years. I want to give up if God doesn't want me to go pro. Embarrassed about my dancing when taking classes from professionals and when auditioning for summer intensives. It's expensive and I have to pay for a large part of tuition, all of my pointe shoes, all leos and tights etc., and all summer intensives (not financial trouble, just a family rule so we're not surpised as adults). Working two or three times a week on top of school is a lot. Please help. Especially if you feel like God wants you to tell me something. Thanks.

It’s always hard to know exactly whether you’ll be successful until you try - so in your words hard to tell what God wants for you! It sounds like you are highly motivated and have been told you have potential so my advice is give it a go and see. You are very young so can always change pathways if needs be or find work in the broader dance world. Listen to your mentors and try not to be too hard on yourself - ballet takes a long time to learn so try and be patient. 

[DVDfan]

OK...I may be quite wrong and talking through my hat here, but I am worried that the OP has been told that she has potential but that her dancing is ugly and weak. If it is the same teachers who tell her both these things, it sounds abusive to me,  as though they are seeking to trap her into spending a lot of money with them.

As to what God wants, if you are supposed to be a professional ballet dancer you will have the God given gifts of facility, the right physique, talent and opportunity. If any of those are lacking, then it's not what He wants. 

I suggest you stop worrying, enjoy dancing, and just see what comes. And remember that you can learn a lot of useful things on the journey which will be of help in other walks of life.

[Peony]

I’d agree that it sounds odd what they are saying and if your dancing is weak that’s attributable to those teachers??

potential can mean many things, you really need to try and get an unbiased opinion through auditioning or an assessment. IME it’s common for dance teachers to talk about having potential but they often mean to be a good dancer but not at professional level. 

[invisiblecircus]

What is your ambition in dance and where are you at the moment?

Do you want to be a ballet dancer or would you prefer contemporary or commercial dance? 

How old are you and how long have you been training? How many hours per week do you train? What does "good enough in one and a half years" mean? Is that when you'd like to enter the profession or when you would hope to enter a full time training course?

None of us know what G-d wants, all we can do is put ourselves in the best situation we can to achieve our goals and work hard.