I've seen these situations many many times, when young footballers and rugby players are told they aren't quite up to it, on most occasions their parents are the ones who take it the hardest. It's a tough tough world out there, and I'm sure there will be reasons just why your dd didn't quite make it this time. There is also a lot of quality competiton that your dd is up against, so I'm very sorry to have to say this, but you need to toughen up and just accept that for once your dd didn't quite do the business, and you should encourage her to bounce back and try again if that's what she wants. It made me think a little about your husbands attitude that maybe you've had her on a pedestal, just a thought mind you, but a swan amongst ducks and wanting to threaten the judges, hhhhmmmmmm.