mum5678

Yes, THIS!!! 👏 The fear is real! DS nearly stopped dancing between ages of 8-10 due to a teacher that scared him witless. Thankfully it was an associate scheme and he only saw her less than once a month, and he was a determined little bugger and refused to give up because of her. I nearly pulled him out so many times when he was literally sick with worry before her classes. (He also had the loveliest regular dance school, who were the perfect antidote to her.) He did eventually grow to enjoy her lessons and in hindsight he can see she taught him a lot, and actually has a really good relationship with her now, but she'd have gotten SO much more out of him if he hadn't been petrified. He later turned down vocational schools he was offered places at wherever he saw similar styled teachers. When he made his choice he went for the school that felt most at 'home' in despite there being other, bigger names (and scholarship offers) that he turned down. He later did a summer school at one of the post 16 schools he'd had a scholarship offer from, and they were told off and made to to do 50 press ups whenever they asked a question! How on earth are they supposed to learn in that environment? Needless to say, we all felt he'd had a lucky escape.

Looking at it from the other direction, my (British) brother in law is a very talented musician, and able to get working visas for most countries under the classification of "Alien of Extraordinary Ability" (Obviously we tease him relentlessly about the alien bit!😆) Wonder if this might be an option for our dancers?

Just a little something to consider... I can only speak for the mental health world, but a lot of practitioners are moving away from Axa, and more recently Bupa as their pay rates tend to be below the going rate. There are still plenty of practitioners but it's a diminishing number (especially for AXA) so you ay have less choice / availability if you do need to see somebody (it's not unusual to have waiting list in excess of 6 months to see a private therapist). It's probably not so much of an issue outside of London where appointment fees are generally lower. Practitioners are happier working with Cigna, Aviva and WPA, who pay rates more akin to the 'going' rate. That said, DS is with Bupa and we have always managed to find a practitioner (even a dance specialist one), however he's not London based.

Whilst I appreciate it's not the finer point here, I think we need to be very careful bringing BMI in to the mix.... Although it's the regular tool used by many health practitioners for want of anything better, it is proven to be a very long outdated and highly inaccurate measure. It was a very old study (over 100 years), based on white men, generally ex forces, and was never intended to be used as a 'guide'. It ignores racial and gender differences, and the parameters have been changed over the years to suit American health insurance companies (literally, millions of Americans went to bed one night 'healthy' and woke up the next morning 'overweight' so that insurers could charge them more). There is no accounting of muscle mass, breast tissue and the differences those things might make - there's a lot of research into how flawed it is. (Dr Joshua Wolrich has written a good book on this, amongst others.) I resonated strongly with the dancers in the documentary having personally suffered an ED for a number of years having weighed 'overweight' at doctors check ups... I was a UK size 8, 5ft 4in, 14 years old, and VERY fit (not a dancer but swimmer and played hockey player on youth international teams). I also has DD cup boobs and that probably had a lot to do with the 'weight'! Health checks were all great until the 'hop in the scales' moment, when I was declared overweight and should eat a little less... it's taken me 30 odd years to realise this was wrong and start to work through it. A lot of the details in the program were similar to what I experienced as a teenager, not from sports coaches but from doctors, and everything was always great until the 'scales' moment. I know this is branching a little off the topic, and perhaps over-passionately put, but I think it's important to recognise that BMI is not as helpful a tool as it's perceived to be, particularly not for athletes, which our young dancers are. There are a huge number of young people who suffer with EDs, who aren't getting help because they don't fit the BMI criteria.... they are literally sent away until they get more poorly before they can access help (I see this regularly, first hand, working with psychologists who treat young people with EDs). As ballet parents, I feel we really need to be extra vigilant about this.

Yes, this is an interesting one... DS sometimes talks about the occasional girls who just "don't seem to get that they have to jump too" whilst he's lifting, but often, as a male dancer, they can be partnered with older/more senior females who dismiss this (when they say something) as the male's error as the younger, less experienced dancer. When a teacher spots it they will often comment, but of course more common for male teachers to notice than female, given that they have experience from the male perspective. His yardstick is always to try the same move with a few other girls of differing shapes/sizes/styles and if it tends to be working with everyone else, he's usually fairly confident that it's a case of a little more input needed from the initial female partner! If it doesn't work with some of the others, he knows he needs to do something differently. He's a pretty good communicator and able to have fairly open conversations with almost all of his partners, and finds it really helpful when the female partner is happy to explain what makes them feel comfortable and safe, but every now and then there's the odd one who just doesn't give and inch! And of course, I'm sure it's the same the other way around too!

DS (who especially loves doing PDD) says he finds it's not necessarily about 'weight' but about the power behind their partner's initial jump and also about the way they hold themselves when lifted. He says a few kg really doesn't make much, if any, difference and there are often times when a dancer is a little heavier but is much easier to lift because of their own strength/power. Interestingly, he too had comments from one teacher about his arm muscles being too big/bulgey and being banned from the gym in her fit of panic, yet also often complimented for being a good partner and strong/safe lifts (so much so that he was chosen to demonstrate lifts with the female teachers).... they really just can't win!

It's a tough watch, but very necessary I think to shed light on the issues. I really hope we start to see some change and start appreciating dancers for their actual talent and artistry rather than what their bodies look like. Personally I LOVE watching dancer who don't fit the stereotype and dare to look a little different. I applaud the interviewees for their bravery and hope they find some peace after their trauma. I really hope there's some deeper digging into some of the other issues at these 'elite' schools.

11+ still exists where we live! What's more, if you pass the 11+ you don't necessarily get in at our local boys school, they just take the top 130 scores. My DS got full marks at 11+, nearly all grade 9s at GCSE and the (Grammar) school were furious when he left to go to ballet school at 16 rather than taking A levels (and getting them another bunch of As A*s for their stats!) 😂

DS's dance teachers were happy to do his in their studio... might be worth asking?

My son went last year (ahead of him starting there last September). He really enjoyed it - said it gave him a real flavour of the school and he was pleased to discover he knew some of the 1st years who were there from previous EYB shows etc. It's only 2 days so whilst they do give corrections etc. as you would expect, it's not the same intensive experience as you might get on say a 2 week course, but it gives you a sense on what it's like to have a full time dance timetable. They did lessons as they would be if attending the school, and they were taught by the school's regular teachers, so it was a great insight to what life at dance school is like. They also got to see the end of term show, which was fab. (We learnt an awful lot about which schools we liked from going to different school's end of term shows so that might be worth doing if you're considering where to audition!) For accommodation, Holiday Inn is VERY close and includes breakfast, although there's also a place call Wilde Apartments in St Peters Square, which is still close, and although the rooms are pretty snug, they have a more than adequate little kitchen in them so you don't have to eat out all the time. There are other similarly priced accommodations in the local area. In general, it's a super friendly school with a nurturing feel to it. Feel free to message if you have any questions! Xx

Ahh, thought I hadn’t seen Zobia for a while! Yes Megan is also super helpful and so is Jacob. They are both really lovely and do their very best, although their powers are done what limited against the machine that is unite!! Megan was there last year (working with Zobia) so she’s probably familiar with the whole Dada deposit situation. Jacob is new in the role this year. My DCs flat spend ages chatting to them both! 😂

I don’t think it’s been quite this difficult before, so NBS haven’t had to get involved previously. I do think it’s worth chatting to Miss Grey about the issues here as it’s likely to impact their intake moving forward in general, and also she may be able to speak to some halls directly and create some sort of agreement. We were certainly given a refundable deposit option last year with new Medlock in case DC didn’t get what he needed to to get in and so we’re others, but NMH were quite used to doing this with ballet students, so it might be worth mentioning that to Mill Point and asking them to contact NMH to verify/ find out how they worked it. I think there’s a huge amount of disparity between the ‘rules’ on a national level and for individual buildings, as you say. On the plus side, I can say that it’s a lovely school and DC is incredibly happy there, so worth persevering!

Neither does mine in Yr 1, but I wouldn’t let that put you off… if Unite are going to do this it will be a problem for all NBS students who aren’t yet booked it so your DC is quite likely to be joined by others!

DS says some are staying in Vita accommodation too, but I think that might only be for over 18s so worth checking!

Hi all, congratulations to all your DC's on their fabulous offers! Dwell certainly took 16 your olds last September - did you contact the Manchester one directly? I seem to recall that when I was looking last year there was some disparity between what was advertised/advised by central call centres and what we found when we spoke to individual premises, in particular for Dwell. When I managed to get in touch with the Manchester one directly they said they would take them, and there are definitely students booked in to Dwell for their 2nd yr next year, many of whom will start the year aged 17! It's so frustrating that Unite seem to have just booked all their rooms out to MMU and seems incredibly unfair. It just might be worth contacting Zobia at New Medlock House directly (newmedlockhouse-manchester@unitestudents.com) on the off chance she can help, and/or to ask when they might release any that aren't booked. She has been really supportive and very helpful previously. They like having ballet students as they're always bright and bubbly and up and out, and often keep their flats tidier. She was also really good about keeping the flat to under 18's this academic year - I know this hasn't been the case previously but they did with our lot, possibly after some parents fought the battle in previous years! She doesn't have a lot of control over things but you never know. In terms of where the current students will be, there is definitely a flat of what will be 2nd yr NBS students booked at Parkway Gate next door to New Medlock... it's saying rooms are reserved but again, it might be worth a direct email, and also more booked in to Artisan Heights. I will ask my DS to see where others are staying too in case he has any other suggestions. One thing to bear in mind is that the insurance that comes with the Unite students accommodation can not be activated until the reach 17, so we've just had to have half a year with his room and the contents uninsured (could do it privately of course, but we never got around to it!)

It’s tough isn’t it. Good luck! Ours last year got sent out the Friday after the audition. They didn’t all come out at once either, so my son’s friend got the email and she knew she had a place and his didn’t come through for another hour or so… caused a complete riot in his physics class when he saw the email (which he shouldn’t have been looking at in class) and squealed very loudly! 😂 Thankfully the teacher was v supportive and just as excited as he was!! Keeping everything crossed for you.

Ahh, that’s good to know… we were told the opposite so like you say, it sounds like it might depend on location! 😬 Damn… that’s my safety blanket ruined! 😂

DS auditioned last year in person (and now currently in 1st year, and loving it) … audition comprised of classes in the morning, ballet and then I think jazz or modern? They had current students in the classes with them so they have someone to look to if they get in a pickle. Then the flexibility assessment which is done as a class so not as intimidating as it sounds, then school talk & tour (with parents) which was a good chance to ask lots of questions, and then solos and interviews. Solos were a complete mix… they study all genres of dance so it really can be anything. DS did a piece of music that changed half way did he could do a bit of ballet and a bit of contemporary, but literally there were people doing all genres. Interview was fine… he said it was gentle, just a nice chat about what he loved about dancing, what his ambitions were and whether we were supportive of the application. Teas and coffees laid out for parents and somewhere for us all to sit on a very rainy day. It was probably the most welcoming and friendly audition we did. They also offer free workshops and summer schools which give you a taster of the school too. Good Luck!!

Absolutely do this!! We only realised how valuable it was once we went on a show tour after making the choice! 🙄 Thankfully we were very happy with the choice but could have been very different if he’d gone to where he ‘thought’ was his first choice before we went through the process…. Changed mind about favourite mid way through!

We had the same situation last year with one leaving for dance school, one for Uni and just missing the DaDa cut off… it sucks! We had offers from 5 schools, including scholarships from 3….. and then he went somewhere else 😭 BUT, it was absolutely the best fit school for him, and when you consider that to do the degree courses you’re accessing student loans, which still require repayment one day, it doesn’t work out THAT differently overall. We were lucky to have a relative who has given him a private student loan type agreement, which means he’s incredibly driven as he’s constantly aware that he’s paying for it so is determined to squeeze every last bit out of the experience 😂 The benefit to doing the diploma (which it took me a while to realise) is that if he needs to do a career change at a later date he can still access student loans to do a degree, which is a comfort in terms of making sure there’s always a plan b. KS had extra funding pots for non-DaDa folks, and LSC were good for scholarship based on who they wanted (rather than income linked) so they might be worth considering too. Tring also have quite generous bursary levels. Also worth considering cost of living comparison too… some of the London halls are VERY expensive and then require travel time and funds, which really adds up. Plus little things like in halls is about £4 to do a laundry load, and they need to do a lot! My DS is in a flat with other dancers and they share a wash for their dance kit midweek, which really helps. They are also 2 mins walk from the studio, which they are enormously grateful for. Good luck!! It’s a slog and stressful but also SO exciting!! Xx

Lincolnshire Youth Ballet do a lovely 3 week one at the start of the summer hols if you’re not too far over the border!

It might be a little too far but Lincolnshire Youth Ballet do a really wonderful 3 week summer school in Stamford with a show at the end (usually starts from the end of term and then performing around mid August). Its a genuinely lovely youth company and the kids get a LOT of dancing and stage time (school-length days for most). We found they offer so much more than EYB, particularly in terms of performing time, continuity and what they get out of the classes. Costumes are provided, and all the traditional photo opportunities with the professionals (as well as some Q & A time and classes with them too - often older kids also do intensive 1:2:1 work with them in addition). They're quite a young group (as in new - 2023 will be their 3rd year) but would wholeheartedly recommend! They have auditions this coming weekend and will have more throughout the year. Whereabouts are you based roughly and how old is your DC? Another option would be Chantry Origins depending on the age of your child. They are more contemporary/ballet oriented but another really lovely youth company who meet monthly throughout the year. They are based in Grantham and meet on Sundays and you can just contact them and audition by attending a session.

Ha ha.. you read my mind. Dropping my eldest off into his Uni owned halls on Saturday... we were just saying that it will be very interesting to compare and contrast!

I think it's an all round experience! Our flat wasn't finished properly either and there's quite a lot of maintenance work that still needs doing. It was also covered in builders mess when they moved in on Saturday still. We've been trying to encourage them to get all the maintenance logged and sorted this week before the rest of the students move in next weekend and they have 400 other room's worth of issues, but the list has been quite long and they keep ticking jobs off as done when they're not.... things like missing smoke detectors and doors not locking properly so pretty essential! We also have been told there's an 18 yr old moving in to the flat (with 3, 16 yr olds) which we're not very happy with. Oh and you can only be insured once your 17, so none of them can access the insurance either... it's going really well! 🙄😂 On the plus side, they're a lovely little bunch and getting on like a house on fire.

Yup! Is your DD there this year again too?