Trying to be positive - auditions

[LyndseyJ]

So my DD applied and got auditions to Tring and The Hammond these are the two she wanted. 
 

so she didn’t get a place at Tring and now waiting on results from the Hammond. She’s nervous now, as she believes she won’t get a place. I’ve explained it’s a hard thing to get into these schools.

 

how do I keep her motivated if she doesn’t get offered a place, she sobbed when Tring said no.

 

 

[Pointeshoesarethedream]

It’s really hard but don’t lose hope yet. DD got a no for her audition for Elmhurst. It was the first result and hit her hard (she took to her bed to lick her wounds and then bounced back) I recall emailing her JA teacher to ask what the chances were of any good news as I couldn’t get my head round the chance of receiving a yes after that very first no, but she then went on to have offers from 3 other schools, two with MDS/Bursary so all is not lost. Each of the schools look for different things. 
 

And if it’s not meant to be this time don’t lose hope children change and come into their own when the time is right for them. 
 

Wishing you the very best of luck. 
 

(Just a note to add DD isn’t actually at vocational school, we tried but being away from home wasn’t for her,  and actually being at home and putting individual things in place for her has been brilliant so again it’s not the end of the world, but I absolutely know how you are feeling)

Edited January 30 by Workhard_Dreambig
Typos

[LyndseyJ]

32 minutes ago, Workhard_Dreambig said:

It’s really hard but don’t lose hope yet. DD got a no for her audition for Elmhurst. It was the first result and hit her hard (she took to her bed to lick her wounds and then bounced back) I recall emailing her JA teacher to ask what the chances were of any good news as I couldn’t get my head round the chance of receiving a yes after that very first no, but she then went on to have offers from 3 other schools, two with MDS/Bursary so all is not lost. Each of the schools look for different things. 
 

And if it’s not meant to be this time don’t lose hope children change and come into their own when the time is right for them. 
 

Wishing you the very best of luck. 
 

(Just a note to add DD isn’t actually at vocational school, we tried but being away from home wasn’t for her,  and actually being at home and putting individual things in place for her has been brilliant so again it’s not the end of the world, but I absolutely know how you are feeling)

yea I think having the no first has given us a knock back and so it’s making the waiting so hard.

 

It’s hard when she hates the local school she’s at but not been there a year yet it’s mainly due to the teacher. But she loves her JA classes in Birmingham. 

 

x

[Mumoftwogirls2023]

Sorry to hear your daughter is upset, it’s completely understandable. 
 

Each school will be looking for something different so just because you did/didn’t make it into one doesn’t mean the same will happened with another. 
 

Fingers crossed for The Hammond 🤞🏻 If it isn’t this time, there is always next year. We had knocks back for things in before and I honestly believe they make you stronger. Has your daughter done many auditions before? The waiting is the worst it feels a lot longer than it has been! Hoping we find out soon. 

[LyndseyJ]

Yes she has done auditions before, I think it made it worse for her as she made friends at the auditions with the schools and hearing they got in to finals etc hit her hard. 
 

we just keep encouraging her and applying for different things which I know she will love 

 

 

[Dance86]

My daughter got a no from Elmhurst, so she’s pinning her hopes for the Hammond, which is her 1st choice. She loved the whole audition, and the feel of the school…especially accommodation being off site. I’ve tried to keep her grounded by explaining that if she doesn’t get in she will go to a school with the friends she already knows, and can carry on dancing at her dance school; also explained she can try again next year and see this year as a practice run. ( but secretly I’m panicking for her and praying she gets the opportunity of a life time ). 

[Mumoftwogirls2023]

43 minutes ago, Dance86 said:

My daughter got a no from Elmhurst, so she’s pinning her hopes for the Hammond, which is her 1st choice. She loved the whole audition, and the feel of the school…especially accommodation being off site. I’ve tried to keep her grounded by explaining that if she doesn’t get in she will go to a school with the friends she already knows, and can carry on dancing at her dance school; also explained she can try again next year and see this year as a practice run. ( but secretly I’m panicking for her and praying she gets the opportunity of a life time ). 

My daughter said the same about the school, it really did have a lovely feel. 
 

We have also said if not successful this year she can try again if she wants too. It might be she goes to school locally and can’t see herself moving. We would need a MDS place so have made it very clear from the beginning even if she gets in, without funding it just won’t be possible. So she knows it is a very slim chance and has tried not to think about it too much, but this long wait has definitely made that harder. Would just be lovely to get the good news though, wouldn’t it! 

[LyndseyJ]

Yes she has done auditions before, I think it made it worse for her as she made friends at the auditions with the schools and hearing they got in to finals etc hit her hard. 
 

we just keep encouraging her and applying for different things which I know she will love 

we also need funding and I have explained this to her already which I believe she understands but will still

make her upset and think it will me and my DH as well. 

 

[WhereToNow]

It is so hard when the answer is not one that they want.  Remember it is not a reflection of their hardwork.  We never know what these places want, and there is no explanation.  I think it is amazing how these DCs have the confidence to go into these auditions.  That is an experience in itself!  She should be very very proud of herself.

 

From my own experience, my DD was unsuccessful for yr7 auditions

and associate auditions. She regrouped, continued working hard and reauditioned and was successful yr10 entry. She received 2 offers (from the ones that said no years earlier)

It definitely made her stronger and more determined.

[LyndseyJ]

We have explained about retrying again if unsuccessful, 

 

we are very very proud of what she has accomplish and done I would never have the confidence to do what she has 

[Kerfuffle]

Remember that any choice made by a school when a child is 11 is a calculated guess and rejection now does not necessarily reflect your child’s potential. My DD is now at an upper school with those who were at prestigious lower schools including WL. She was rejected from JAs for year 6. Her route between 11 and 16 was unconventional but she got to the same place as others who seemed more successful at an earlier age . Don’t let these results define you, there are other options that open up if it’s meant to be. 

[LyndseyJ]

23 minutes ago, Kerfuffle said:

Remember that any choice made by a school when a child is 11 is a calculated guess and rejection now does not necessarily reflect your child’s potential. My DD is now at an upper school with those who were at prestigious lower schools including WL. She was rejected from JAs for year 6. Her route between 11 and 16 was unconventional but she got to the same place as others who seemed more successful at an earlier age . Don’t let these results define you, there are other options that open up if it’s meant to be. 

Thank you ☺️ 

[glowlight]

So hard for you and your dc's who are getting their first "no thankyou's".

 

The way I framed this to my dd the first time was..It just means it's not the right thing for you at this time. Maybe life is lining you up for a different opportunity which is better suited for you.

 

Learning how to handle knock backs at this early age is valuable too, even though you and they may not think so now. But if they keep dancing there will probably be more 'No's' than 'Yes's' down the road, and learning how to handle these positively is of great value.

 

They're bound to be upset and that's OK. It can help them to build the determination to keep going. 

 

Keep looking out for new opportunities for them. Try to have some non-dance fun in between so their life isn't all about ballet.

 

And @LyndseyJ - if part of the problem is that she is unhappy at her local school - perhaps you could look at other options locally. If it's not working for her maybe another move would be for the best.

 

 

 

 

[Raquelle]

We got a day place at Tring (which was basically a no as we live miles away!) But them got mds for Hammond...so there is definitely a chance. All the schools look for different things and Tring is stricter than the others in some ways as they have less mds places x

[LyndseyJ]

5 hours ago, glowlight said:

 @LyndseyJ - if part of the problem is that she is unhappy at her local school - perhaps you could look at other options locally. If it's not working for her maybe another move would be for the best.

 

 

 

 

we are going to look into changing her just going to get to July and move if things are not better at the school.

 

she has had plenty of No’s before for different things, this was just something she has worked really hard for, but I explained Tring was going to be hard but so is Hammond to be honest 

[Mumoftwogirls2023]

17 hours ago, Raquelle said:

We got a day place at Tring (which was basically a no as we live miles away!) But them got mds for Hammond...so there is definitely a chance. All the schools look for different things and Tring is stricter than the others in some ways as they have less mds places x

So if you get in they don’t even offer you boarding? I assumed if you were far away that bit would be automatic.

 

Has your son/daughter gone to The Hammond? 

[Raquelle]

50 minutes ago, Mumoftwogirls2023 said:

So if you get in they don’t even offer you boarding? I assumed if you were far away that bit would be automatic.

 

Has your son/daughter gone to The Hammond? 

They offer boarding to some and mds to some, but gave us an offer for a day place so didn't accept obviously! My daughter ended up going somewhere closer to home, she did love hammond though at auditions, seemed like a lovely school x 

[Dance86]

On 30/01/2024 at 22:32, LyndseyJ said:

yea I think having the no first has given us a knock back and so it’s making the waiting so hard.

 

It’s hard when she hates the local school she’s at but not been there a year yet it’s mainly due to the teacher. But she loves her JA classes in Birmingham. 

 

x

What JA class is she in? As my daughter goes to Birmingham, JA 4. Hope you here from the Hammond soon, as emails and letters are going out by the looks of it 🤞🏻

[LyndseyJ]

23 minutes ago, Dance86 said:

What JA class is she in? As my daughter goes to Birmingham, JA 4. Hope you here from the Hammond soon, as emails and letters are going out by the looks of it 🤞🏻

Hi, DD goes to

midland Theatre Ballet at the BOA / Elmhurst 

 

she didn’t get offered a place so we are currently all feeling a bit blue and down. We don’t know what to say or do, don’t know what we need to work on. I don’t want to talk about ballet right now. 
 

I’ve just dropped her off at the local ballet school and she sobbed didn’t want to go, so what am I supposed to do, she has gone and we are looking at changing her 

[glowlight]

So sorry to hear your news @LyndseyJ. 

 

 

[LyndseyJ]

1 hour ago, glowlight said:

So sorry to hear your news @LyndseyJ. 

 

 

 Don’t know what to say about it all

to be honest 

 

need to try and stay positive 

[Balletmum1210]

1 hour ago, LyndseyJ said:

 Don’t know what to say about it all

to be honest 

 

need to try and stay positive 

So sorry to hear your news, it is really difficult. 
 

My daughter worked really hard and had 3 years as a RBS JA, made the finals for Elmhurst, and RBS semis but unfortunately didn’t end up with a vocational or Mids place, Tring was a straight no . The advice we received from her JA teacher and her local teachers (35+ years experience) was that all children develop at different rates, some are physically ready at 11 and others take a few more years. That being said, gaining a vocational place at 11 does not necessarily

mean the child will be any more successful than a child that gains a place at 16 for example. 
 

Please don’t give up. In the dance world, there are a lot of rejections, so being able to positively deal with it at this age can be a good thing for preparing for the future. Speak about how you feel with your child’s dance teacher to put a plan together for moving forward. 

Edited February 5 by Balletmum1210

[LyndseyJ]

20 minutes ago, Balletmum1210 said:

So sorry to hear your news, it is really difficult. 
 

My daughter worked really hard and had 3 years as a RBS JA, made the finals for Elmhurst, and RBS semis but unfortunately didn’t end up with a vocational or Mids place, Tring was a straight no . The advice we received from her JA teacher and her local teachers (35+ years experience) was that all children develop at different rates, some are physically ready at 11 and others take a few more years. That being said, gaining a vocational place at 11 does not necessarily

mean the child will be any more successful than a child that gains a place at 16 for example. 
 

Please don’t give up. In the dance world, there are a lot of rejections, so being able to positively deal with it at this age can be a good thing for preparing for the future. Speak about how you feel with your child’s dance teacher to put a plan together for moving forward. 

Thank you, 

 

we are feeling a bit better tonight, I’ve had some really lovely messages from

people on here that have put mine and my husbands minds at rest, 

DD will be ok she is pretty resilient and will bounce back

 

we are moving dance school she isn’t clicking with the dance teacher she has right now but my husband has spoken to  a new one and she will see her Thursday x

[Mumoftwogirls2023]

17 hours ago, LyndseyJ said:

Hi, DD goes to

midland Theatre Ballet at the BOA / Elmhurst 

 

she didn’t get offered a place so we are currently all feeling a bit blue and down. We don’t know what to say or do, don’t know what we need to work on. I don’t want to talk about ballet right now. 
 

I’ve just dropped her off at the local ballet school and she sobbed didn’t want to go, so what am I supposed to do, she has gone and we are looking at changing her 

Hi Lyndsey

Sorry to hear your daughters news.

 

I just wanted to say it just means it isn’t her time for this school, this time. It’s not forever. Please encourage your daughter to try again, if she still wants to another year. 
 

I honestly believe everything happens for a reason. My daughter has had lots of knock backs from other auditions for other things and it made her more focused and determined and it makes the wins so so rewarding.

 

Regardless of the outcome she should be so proud of herself, it takes guts to go to these auditions and put yourself out there.

 

I hope as it settles your daughter feels better about the situation, I know she will be gutted for now which is completely expected. Sending hugs x

[Mumof1]

Hi Lindsey , 

I don’t usually write much on here, just a lurker but felt compelled to say that even though it doesn’t seem it, from our experience sometimes it’s all for the best and exactly what everyone else has said, it’s not their time. 
my daughter was decided quite late that it was suddenly her dream to go to a specific vocational school. She had a really bad final audition and hence didn’t get a place. I’ve never seen her so devastated. Adamant she was going to try again we did our best to build her confidence and she started entering comps which she’s never done before and show her things that were new. Fast forward a few months and after stepping out of the associate scheme bubble she realised that actually this school was not what she wanted and we didn’t even go to the audition that we’d payed for. She’s now pleased she got a no as she wouldn’t have had the experiences she had had this year . 
I hope your daughter feels better soon and having a new school and teacher could be exactly what she needs, esp with less pressure of the year 7 audition process . 

[Kerfuffle]

That being said, gaining a vocational place at 11 does not necessarily

mean the child will be any more successful than a child that gains a place at 16 for example. 
 

This is very true. Amongst those in my DD’s RBS SA class and in others there were many year 11s that got places at upper school, including the ones your daughter auditioned for. I don’t know all their journeys, whether they were JAs or not or even if they had auditioned at year 7 but I do know that  a rejection at this stage doesn’t necessarily mean lack of success in the future. Getting accepted can also result in being assessed out or just burned out by the time your child is 16. 

 

There are benefits to being at home too, for your whole family. Boarding school does affect everyone, not just the parents and the child but their siblings too. I have been told by several parents that they wish they’d kept their child training at home for longer in hindsight. 
 

I’m sure that your daughter will find her way and the important thing is to enjoy the journey and remember why she loved ballet in the first place. Big hugs.🤗 
 

 

[LyndseyJ]

Thank you all for replying to the messages, we are feeling a tad batter now. 

We have managed to get some feedback from The Hammond, which has helped a lot, this has given DD something to work on. 

 

listening to you all, its made me realise that these schools are not the be all and end all, and i know that she will get her goal if she carries on doing her classes and focuses.

 

She is feeling a little better about it all to be honest, we are going to trial a new ballet school this week which teachers RAD and IDTA classes but will have to do 1-2-1 classes as she will be in associates on a Saturday. 

[LyndseyJ]

5 hours ago, Mumof1 said:

Hi Lindsey , 

I don’t usually write much on here, just a lurker but felt compelled to say that even though it doesn’t seem it, from our experience sometimes it’s all for the best and exactly what everyone else has said, it’s not their time. 
my daughter was decided quite late that it was suddenly her dream to go to a specific vocational school. She had a really bad final audition and hence didn’t get a place. I’ve never seen her so devastated. Adamant she was going to try again we did our best to build her confidence and she started entering comps which she’s never done before and show her things that were new. Fast forward a few months and after stepping out of the associate scheme bubble she realised that actually this school was not what she wanted and we didn’t even go to the audition that we’d payed for. She’s now pleased she got a no as she wouldn’t have had the experiences she had had this year . 
I hope your daughter feels better soon and having a new school and teacher could be exactly what she needs, esp with less pressure of the year 7 audition process . 

 

Hi, 

Thank you for being a lurker and talking to me i appreciate that. 

New school being looked at this week x

[glowlight]

@LyndseyJ - it sounds as if a new school is just what your dd needs right now and I'm so pleased that she has that positive move to look forward to.

 

Have you thought about applying for summer schools or performance opportunities such as English Youth Ballet?

[LyndseyJ]

On 06/02/2024 at 17:22, glowlight said:

@LyndseyJ - it sounds as if a new school is just what your dd needs right now and I'm so pleased that she has that positive move to look forward to.

 

Have you thought about applying for summer schools or performance opportunities such as English Youth Ballet?

I’ve never looked into English youth ballet, may go and have a look at it thank you for the heads up x

[WhereToNow]

i would 2nd English Youth Ballet.  My DD did it twice when she was younger.  It is a very good set up, she learnt alot, made good friends, and it was such a good opportunity.