twinkletoes

its actually easier the earlier they start as there is little hair there and its quite fine which means it comes out easily and by the time she was 15 she didn't need to wax at all her legs

my DD started waxing at 11and took herself off for a bikini wax at 15! i was not particually impressed when i found out about the bikini but i understood her view now i think she waxes everything but her head lol (and tampons from 12 after a comment about someone seeing the pad outline )

its a tough decision C4D is your DD aware of this clash? I think i would be trying very hard to make sure she doesn't know how her dad feels, if she gets in and the 2 of you as parents decide that its not in her best interests but she knows that her father was against it then she will turn her resentment towards him and thats not really fair on him or her because he only has her interests at heart and his view is just as valid as her dad, I do worry sometimes that kids pick up on this type of thing and it can sometimes cause problems later on, i wouldn't worry about her not getting to the standard for college if she has got this far she obviously has good teachers behind her, although one good thing about vocational school is that there is limited option for 'boy' distractions when the teenage years kick in it boils down to the fact that she is still a child and although her wishes can be considered it is invariably a decision you and dad must make and therefore as such it should be something that is held out of earshot until you have a united front then you can both rationally tell her the reasons why and a united front is much better and then no one person is the 'baddie'

I agree that you have to do what is best for the DD or DS the problem arises when 2 parents have different views on what that best is C4D what is the dad's objection? is it something that is tangible that can be argued against or do you think he has a point, i'm not sure if you are with the dad or not but if you are then you need to consider how this diverse view could affect your relationship, it is bad to look back on it and wonder 'what if' but both parents views/inputs are equally valid and one parent doesn't have the right to force a decision on the other, either way. Its very easy for us to say you should go for it but we are all a little biased on the matter I think it may need an impartial view point maybe who knows your situation and can see both sides, you may find that you have the difficult choice of DD and D Dad Playing devils advocate (don't shoot me its just putting the other point of view )it does need BOTH parents behind the schooling or you'll find that the family foundation crumbles and the DD may feel that they are responsible (even though they are NOT) you really find that you have to get him on board with the whole thing, although we're all very supportive of our DD and DS going to a school they've earned a place in, we don't really have any more right to say "they're going" than the other parent has to say "They're NOT going", if you are not with the dad then there is the other issue of contact, if you are separated and here is a contact order in place then that adds another layer of complexity depending how far away the school is because a contact order cannot be breached or amended without going to court and then he could reasonably block the move and i've seen this happen in the past when there has been a bad breakup and one parent was opposed to the schooling. One has to ask the question, why didn't he object when she was going to all the auditions? its not like these things happen without notice, he must have known she was good, having seen all the coments you've made about her in the past she has obviously been doing dancing for quite some time and is very talented so why not mention it before this *sigh*

ah! I'm sure all those being filmed will love it and it sounds like a good story opportunity for the EYB

any idea what the Channel 5 is for? are they doing a promotional on the EYB generally or just the Newcastle show as I thought they were national not local? sounds interesting, i'm surprised they haven't gone for the pointe dancers/swans as they always look amazing on the TV I guess the courtiers are the younger ones, still any TV is great publicity and Ben must has worked hard to get them to come hopefully the tricky sales will be boosted

oh you are not alone in this its such a hard choice and no matter which way your family decides to go there will always be people who think you've done the wrong thing, you just have to do what is best for you and your family, the rest of the world can hang because you are the only one who knows whats best for you all (can you tell i'm still smarting from my mother in law telling me i was a bad mother for wanting my DD to go away lol) I hope it all works out, i'm sure it will

hummm its a tricky one, it is hard when only one parent is supportive but it comes down to what the DD wants to do and how many other family members there are, i have 2 one DD and one none, we had the chance for DD to go away in Y7 and her dad was not keen, and the rest of the family thought it was wrong to send her away at 11, I got the whole guilt trip over how that was the age a girl needed her mother etc, caused a few battles and in the end me and her dad had a frank discussion where each of us gave the pros and cons and weighed everything up, we had a bursery but only for 50% of the fees so it would have put a huge strain on the finances and DD has medical problems with eczema and IBS which dad was worried about, but the main decider was that if we put her through the school it meant that there was nothing really in the kitty to fund anything the other wanted, so they would have to give up their sports and the dance that they did and looking on it as a whole it just wasn't fair on the whole family. I still wonder if we did the right thing, but she's keeping up her training and fingers crossed she'll go at college. She was gutted but now (3 years on!) see's how hard it was for us to make but she really resented her dad and sibling for a while. I would say that you need to think hard about the impact on the whole family, is she likely to really make it as a dancer (thats hard to tell i know at such a young age) how badly does she want it and you need to be prepared for it to cost you in terms of the resentment that will build up either way, i have known it cost marriages and if you have other children they need to see that they also count in the family because invariably it takes so much effort and resources to get to the stage where they are accepted into the residential schemes that they sometimes get left out and that can cause issues too, i don't envy you, i know it was incredibly tough on us and took a while to get over it. on the other hand i have seen it where the other partner started off very anti then saw how happy they were and came round but realistically it needs the whole family on board and the whole family makes the sacrifice to get the DD there and keep her there .... ok, that sounds really negative and i'm sure that others have a more positive experience how about you and the dad have a 'no blame' conversation where you agree to put both your views on the table without bias and then clinically go through each point and then see where you stand. good luck!

from my experience its not a case of having x places and therefore we must make x offers resulting in if someone is offered a place and doesn't take it then someone loses out, normally offers are made to all who have met the requirements, with the assumption that if anything more offers can be made than spaces available as significant numbers of offers will be rejected if funding isn't available. Rejection is hard and i sympathise with all of you having to deal with the aftermath as i've been there but sadly this industry is full of rejection and its one of the hardest elements to deal with. for those who got to the finals its always worth requesting feedback you may not get it but most of the time there is something for you to work with

the casting hsn't taken place yet at newcastle, its in a couple of weeks

the key is the song selection, it needs to be one that is not too old and fits their vocal style and range, a good teacher will be able to advise, its always dangerous when the auditionees pick something because 'they like it' sadly it is rarely suitable for them. always worth running the song choice past someone (i've vetoed quite a few child/parent choices in my time .... often JUST in time, nothing worse than a 9 year old singing 'one night only' which was last years lucky escape )

costumes and props can be seen as 'distractions' what we need is to see their ability, in a vocal/performing audition we are looking for quality of tone and potential in the vocal range there are certain types of voices that you know can be expanded and others which you can tell from the tone are fixed and while ok for basic chorus show work will never expand into performance quality. Mainly its confidence and potential that is looked for, props or costumes really don't add anything and a change of shoes is all thats needed (or indeed permitted often), having said that they should act out the performance not just stand and sing. don't forget that often the vocal ability is seen as a compliment to the dance so its not expected that the auditionee will be a fully trained singer but personally i would recommend if you can find a singing coach or have a singing teacher a few extra lessons will do wonders for the ds or dd confidence and thats worth every penny

having sat through many auditions good and bad it doesn't really matter what dance style they do, potential and technique can be seen regardless of what they do and if your DD is strongest at Ballet then do that, musical selection is often the hardest part, often the dancers we see who are borderline can lose a place simply from bad song choice which sadly, same is said when we ask for a vocal audition to accompany dance auditions, the number of people who sing songs that are too old for them or do not suit their voice simply because they know the song and like it. you need to remember that whatever style they choose we assume that it is their strongest dance style so go with what your DD loves and is good at not necessarily what the teach says, unless they are involved in this type of audition they are not always aware of what is looked for (not that it can always be defined )

when we registered with my dd dance school they put the 'no other dance classes without permission' in the terms and conditions which of course no-one reads I agree with Aurora, you need to just ignore the teacher and take her to additional classes, its dangerous to do the pointe that is needed with such little class time its just too easy to do damage to the foot without realising it, if the teacher is that strict i'd considered not telling her if you can find another teacher outside the local area they are unlikely to contact her and there are always large dance schools in city centres or private lessons though that can be expensive. Some associate courses are free depending on income which is also quite handy at times good luck sorting it

my dd dance teacher doesn't mind people doing extra classes as long as they get her approval first, its a bit annoying but her view is that she needs to know if someone else is "undoing her good work" personally I don't see the problem, the more dancing they do the more variety they learn and its only ballet she's bothered about really.