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Beware - suggest get money before posting out

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Posted (edited)

Was reading a post where someone is reasonably asking if anyone has any second hand uniform for a school to sell & I thought I did….
Until I remembered I was ‘fleeced’ by a parent after I replied to a post on this site several years ago - should’ve reported but I was new on here & didn’t understand about reporting to MODS etc - then I guess I always assumed I’d get the money as promised one day. I never did…and gave up after several attempts - they were moving house to be nearer the school apparently so 3 kids could be day pupils there!! So no longer a Yorkshire address I could write to even. And they completely ignored my calls & texts. 

I posted out one September almost a complete set of academic uniform & dancekit out to someone on this very forum who ‘urgently needed it’….& who then never paid me a penny for it!!! So not only did I lose out recouping some money for the many items that included the blazer/jumper/cardigan/3 blouses/leotards/unitard/

tracksuit/t-shirt, but also over £20 for next day signed for - so they got stuff in time  - Royal Mail delivery for most items then another £10 for another item next day! I’d sent them photos of receipt & tracking number etc….
And this was for a Prep starter (the uniform is the same apart from wearing a tunic rather than skirt..) & as there are no funded places in Prep they clearly were prepared to pay big private school fees & thus I’d suggest could have well afforded new clothing let alone the cheap price I’d have asked for second hand….. They apparently ended up with 3 kids at the school!!! 
Hmm…wonder if still on this forum??? If they are reading this…. You know who you are & I'm still upset & pretty darn angry!! They had not only well over £500 worth of clothing in effect free (stolen??🤔) but I was an additional £30+ out of pocket for posting out in good faith!! 
I don’t ever expect to see that money now but if this pricks anyone’s conscience, then do a decent thing today - donate the £30+ you owed me for postage to a children’s cancer charity. 
And if you see fit & circumstances allow consider also donating  the

£150-200 the uniform was minimum worth too! 

Triggered memory rant over!


I must add, when I’ve passed on tickets I’m unable to use on here everyone is great with them always sending ‘in good faith’ reimbursement payment to me before I send out eTickets. 
Guess I should’ve insisted on payment for postage & items - or at least 50% of it - before I sent clothing…live and learn hey? 

Edited by Peanut68
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Posted (edited)

Oh dear, @Peanut68, that's awful. 😲 You have my sympathies.


How long ago was it? I am sure you can still get justice after this time. If this individual is a real parent, you know which school the children are at - I'm sure the school can find out who this parent is from the old address even if she/he used a pseudonym. (If it was a fraudster who just registered to scam free uniform off members to sell on, knowing how much uniform can cost, it won't be possible to go via the school but there are still other ways.) The difference with ballet tickets is that you still have the original e-tickets but the uniform has gone. 


Can @BalletcoForum Moderators help? Sounds like there is a dishonest user thar needs to be barred or blocked before she/he tries to do the same thing to someone else. 

Edited by Emeralds
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Hi Peanut, and we regret that this happened to you.  We have had a few cases such as yours over the years, but happily very few.  As per the AUP....


Problems arising over transactions entered into between members are not the responsibility of BalletcoForum.


Members who engage in any kind of business or transaction on the forum do so at their own risk.  However, we are happy to help where we can and in one or two cases where we have been told the identity of the miscreant we have contacted them and banned them if the problem wasn't dealt with or we had no response.  


I agree with Peanut that the best approach if you are selling something is to ask for 50% of the cost up front, the balance to be paid upon receipt of the item/s.  Ditto if you are buying:  offer to pay 50% up front, the balance upon receipt. 


It saddens me to even have to write these words, but unfortunately dishonest people creep into every area of life. Therefore, we can never be totally trusting.  Finally, please don't be insulted if you are asked to pay some money up front; as always it is the vast majority of honest people who have to pay for the behaviour of a dishonest minority.  For that, we are very sorry.

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It was 7 years ago now so I’m ‘over it’…. I did consider contacting the school (afterall, with 1 child in Prep & 2 in main school must’ve been easy to confirm…I had the Father’s name of course & name of one child). I just didn’t want any stigma to be attached to those children as they were not to blame for their father’s dishonest actions. I heard on the grapevine that the same family had left school after a couple of years - possibly not happily? Just hope they passed on their freebie uniform items free of charge to someone else!! Would be ironic though if they sold it…🤔

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Posted (edited)

You have a very good heart by thinking of the children and sacrificing £230 - £530 of money owed to you for their benefit, @Peanut68. It is just a guess but I wouldn't be surprised if this wasn't the only instance of deceit the parent attempted, which may possibly have been a factor in the exit of all three children from the school (while it's not common to have 3 siblings with talent, it's actually rare for all 3 to be assessed out given the odds - especially since this isn't a ballet-only school). As you say, 7 years ago, so that's a long time now (I was thinking at first that it was more recent). 


Always insisting on a deposit such as 50% for such high value items, as you're now doing, is wise.


I do know some people who insist on meeting in person to exchange goods and payment at the same time (if using online transfer insist they wait for the payment to go through, and confirmation from the bank, like a shop or restaurant would) for  items worth over £200 (unless they live in a different country). That's another good option, as although the buyer has to travel to pick up the items, it saves the buyer having to pay up to £30 or more in postage. 

Edited by Emeralds
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