Ruby Foo

I’m very sorry to hear this and others that have experienced similar in regular schools. It appears we were lucky in that regard. Much harder to bring the abusers to justice without witnesses. And those often not willing to speak out.

Just to add, through my non dancing kid’s education, they had a huge variety of different teachers through the academic day. Not the same teacher for class every day for a whole year or even two. If my dd could have had a different perspective from a different teacher once in a while, it might have been a more balanced and wholly different outcome.

Whilst respecting your experience, and happy you generally found it to be very well balanced, I find the last paragraph intriguing. I have had 3 other children go through the general education process with 8 different academic schools attended in total( due to husband’s job), and at no time did any child report systematic humiliation and verbal abuse of any sort let alone that which caused them to suffer and breakdown. There was certainly criticism balanced with praise for a job well done, yes. Certainly some teachers nicer/ better than others, yes.Certainly encouragement when things got tricky and most of all respect for fellow human beings even when they weren’t doing so well. There was always clear and transparent communication between parents and teachers and pupils which increased as the university years approached. And plenty chance for pupils to grow as individuals, make their own choices and have responsibility in their future. The biggest difference was the approachability of the schools knowing that if there was an issue it was dealt with quickly and taken seriously even if the outcome wasn’t in your favour. The difference between the 2 is stark. Of course there is much, much more to it than that. All my other kids had little jobs at 15/16 - getting prepared for the world and meeting others/ forming friendships. They socialised at weekends and took part in extra activities after school building confidence and opening their minds to the endless opportunities. They came home every night and were able to offload about their day, relax in different environment and seek help from different sources. They were well rounded, mature individuals because they had been treated as such. They weren’t under curfew, sitting in their rooms talking endlessly about Ballet whilst dreading how a certain teacher would try and humiliate them tomorrow. At one point, during the bullying my eldest child spoke out and told me it was totally unacceptable to leave my dd there. We begged her to leave and she was very close because she was broken, but she believed it would get better. It didn’t.

I will pm you if that’s okay?

My dd had a relatively happy time at WL with a couple of wonderful and talented teachers ( one in particular) who were encouraging annd supportive and bringing out the best in my dd. However, that was not the case for every student which my daughter witnessed. And that’s what this thread is about. Those who are damaged unnecessarily. And it is unnecessary. There doesn’t need to be any assessments if the AD made it his job to know his students by teaching them. Not knowing a student’s name after 5 years is plainly not acceptable and frankly terrible management. If students were treated as individuals, collaborators in their own training they would know themselves, that staying at RBS would not be productive for them. It wouldn’t be some traumatic shock because it would have been discussed in a healthy, positive respectful manner long before the event and students who’s best interests lay elsewhere would have been supported- not just in one, one off meeting, but along the journey, building their relationships with other schools, other forms of dance, choreography, teaching etc. No one needs to be told to leave the year before graduation. There are no replacements in that year so why? Why? Because the graduation year is the representative year for RBS and they can’t show anybody who doesn’t meet the standard. Well, that’s fair but part of that standard is their own teaching and they have to be, at least partly accountable for that. My dd wasted several years being demolished by one teacher and regularly told her ‘ basics’ weren’t there by another. I would ask ‘ why were the basics not there after 3 years at WL? Especially as when she auditioned for the school the AD asked her in the interview for yr9 ’Where did that beautiful technique come from’ ? So where did that beautiful technique go? That is a question. Dd would have accepted she was not to be ‘ shown’ to the world if she could have stayed and finished her degree. She would have traded being invisible to finish her degree. Academic work was always important to her and she worked hard for 2 years to get a degree. The school will tell you they help you after assessment. I would say that’s an extremely generous spin on what actually happens. For a start, they have never bothered to get to know you so they have no idea what you want to do and while they will put you in a studio and film an audition sequence for the schools you’ve written on your list, it is deeply impersonal and its obvious it’s just procedure. There are no meetings with the AD, as I said, he remains an enigma. I also know that after been assessed out students are expected to hang about the studios while others are in rehearsals for their performances. Not a nice place to be or a useful place to be. So the fact that my daughter had a reasonably happy time for some of the years at RBS does not change the fact that the core practices and values do not connect to healthy practices.

There is no feedback. No opportunity to talk to anyone. Its a two line email stating the assessment was unsuccessful.

There were students in my daughters year ( US) who were getting the tuition they paid for. Who were being given the attention they deserve and / need to progress within RBS. They have a positive experience with teachers who ‘care’ and ‘nurture’ Then there are the few who are not. Who, from week 3 of 1st year have caught the teachers eye in a negative way and whose difficulties become an issue that cannot be addressed without bullying or being ignored or not given any performance opportunities whatsoever because they simply can’t be shown to represent RBS/ embarrassment. These minority students will have a very different experience. They have already been negatively marked in some way and are no longer worthy of working with in the same context as the students with the potential. There will be plenty people reading this who will say the usual stuff about ‘ getting used to disappointment’ or ‘this is the ballet world’ etc etc. What I would say is that ALL students that have been accepted to US should be given care and nurture and if difficulties arise then then even more reason to address them and to help that student reach their potential, whatever that may be. Young people are not commodities to be discarded when something more attractive appears. This is a school we are talking about. Not a company.

Just wondering if your dd has time to heat some soup and put it in a flask? There are some reasonably healthy ready made soups out there and she could add microwave noodles which take just a minute. If she had time to make some soup over the weekend and freeze it then even better, but that’s maybe pushing it. There are plenty squat flasks suitable for rice ( 2 minutes in microwave) which she could add chicken or salmon, edamame and soy sauce. Would give her something hot during the winter.

Yes! Yes! Yes! This is exactly it! And the more a student struggles the more help and positivity and motivation and nurture they need - not the other way about! Where did this distorted teaching come from? I asked my dd if, in the year she was beaten down and crushed by the teacher, she had received any positive feedback at all. Any one single positive comment? My dd was very certain that in a whole years tuition(?) the teacher had not said one single positive word to her despite my dd taking the corrections (mostly humiliating) and working on them late into every night trying so very hard to please her. No wonder, she felt couldn’t take it anymore

Well said! Thank you!

Thank you Emeralds for your post and for clarifying. Appreciated. You’re right that she was taken into US not having ‘a suitable ballet body’ ( teacher’s words) ( joint issues) and bullied because of it. She is not dancing now due to a serious injury sustained in 1st year ( due to her joint inefficiency) which may never heal and was insufficiently treated ( independently clarified by private consultants). In all this, there was absolutely no communication from the school whatsoever until the one line negative assessment result. I must also disagree with the idea that institutions abroad are more nurturing and encouraging. They are different, yes. After 3 months in a top European Ballet School my dd would say the body shaming is just unbelievable. She was completely and utterly shocked. It was not directed at her but at others in her class. It seemed to be part of the curriculum and the students seemed to be pretty used to it, which is extremely sad. Having always had the best guidance on nutrition and never witnessing criticism on body shape in all 5 yrs she was at RBS, it came as a very unpleasant experience. She was, however, treated as a mature individual by the AD, who made it his job to know all his students very well. He asked her opinions and her gaols and helped her tremendously. A totally new experience for her after RBS, where the only couple of times she met the AD he called her the wrong name.

This was the clarification Richard. That her body was ‘ very difficult’ for classical ballet. If you have an explanation for the clarification then do please let me know. Because personally that clarification took me 2 weeks of asking, to obtain and left us feeling extremely angry and confused. We are talking about the Royal Ballet School. She had been previously training there for three years.

Perhaps you haven’t seen my previous posts Emeralds. My dd obviously didn’t tick any of the right boxes! She was assessed out after a year of verbal abuse that literally crushed her. As I said before in another post that was shut down, she cried every day that year and more than in the whole of her 17yrs. At one point the teacher in question put a line of 6 girls in 1st cast, a line of 6 girls in 2nd cast and then sniggered to my daughter that ‘ ‘oh dear, looks like you’ll need to be in 3rd cast won’t you?’ Picked up her bag and left the room. There was no 3rd cast. It was a completely unnecessary comment to undermine her already non existent confidence. She was broken that night. Not because she wasn’t good enough to be in the performance but because of the underhand nastiness, the lack of helpful communication. What help was that comment? It did not help her gain more strength/ improve her technique/ gain more artistry. What it did do was humiliate and belittle her. The teacher bullied her in every class for a whole year ( from 3rd week in Upper School) because she was frustrated that my dd was not good enough. The teacher told me she did not have a good body for Classical Ballet. Having been accepted for Upper School, this was fairly concerning. None of this was to do with weight or physical appearance and I stand by my previous post that the messages she was receiving regarding that subject were extremely positive. I do, however completely take your point that a ‘rogue’ teacher, ( I have described one above) who is not part of the health team and not on board with the positive policies of the School can simply cause the worst damage imaginable with their words.

Although I’ve been super critical of certain aspects of the experience at one of the mentioned schools, I do want to make the point that as regards the messages coming from the health team surrounding diet and nutrition, it was extremely positive and helpful. My dd was super well informed as a result, and this information will serve her well in the future I’m sure. It was the subliminal messages regarding assessments, the intense pressure accompanying those assessment’s and the results of the assessments that led her to make her own conclusions about what was desirable. At no time was she ever body shamed or witnessed it happening to others although obviously that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

It may be a branch line but these connections all contribute to a healthy mind, a healthy dancer and a much stronger and exciting future for Ballet.

I find it quite inspiring that dancers can still find their own artistic expression after the repressive training they receive. At no point during my dd’s training was she ever treated as an individual with her own mind or personality. Never considered or consulted on her training or asked for any input or feedback. There was certainly no collaboration or endeavour to treat her as a developing person with her own creative ideas. There was a choreography competition which could be used to self express and be creative, but as far as the school training was concerned, the word ‘machines’ comes to mind.

While I find myself in disbelief at the ‘no marks at the assessment’ part, there is also no surprise. Other pupils who were injured were given a mark but not your dd? Was she wearing an invisibility cloak while she was there? When you enquire to see what’s going on, no one can be bothered to get back to you….. This is the kind of arrogance I have witnessed in some politicians over the years. Making up your own rules, answering to nobody. Thank you for posting as with everyone else’s posts. I can empathise with most. It is not easy, any of it

I apologise to those who haven’t had this experience at this establishment

I second this. There is diversity and an energy within this school that we haven’t experienced anywhere else.

Thanks Peanut for making the point far more lucidly than me!

Lots of teachers out there who were ex-dancers may love ballet, but don’t love teaching. That’s where things can go wrong. If you genuinely love teaching, as I do, seeing a child bring their best into each class and develop as a person is the most rewarding thing. Unfortunately, some people just don’t see that. Thank you. Yes. Never a truer word. While the teachers in these institutions have all been through teacher training, they are also a product/ pro dancers of the SAME institution. This is precisely why they are taken on - to preserve the traditions and style of that institution. From my daughter’s experience there are some truly wonderful, wonderful teachers in that institution,( I cannot stress this enough) but there are also some who are not- who do not practice healthy teaching practice as we now know it in the contemporary ballet world. They are still ‘professional dancers’ but now teaching and are not the ‘best’ teachers out there by a long way. There are also professional ballet dancers who teach without any teaching qualifications, something which should not be happening. While they may have so much to offer, they may also use dangerous practices. My daughter was asked to do fouettés en pointe by a famous pro dancer having never done them and was definitely not ready to try. She had only done a little pointe work at the time. As we all know that would have needed months of preparation at the barre and strengthening exercises etc. When she told the dancer she’d never done them she was asked to ‘just try one or 2’. The dancer had not asked how much pointe work the class had done or offered any alternatives. Dangerous practices.

None of what happens negatively in vocational schools needs to happen. If the AD/ Principal and teachers worked collaboratively with the students and stopped treating them as commodities which, when no longer needed or useful or become a problem, abandon or abuse them. The key -mutual respect for each other. This means time. Time for dialogue, time for communication, time to forge relationships and time to build trust. Time to actually know your pupils as individuals. Only then, can you work out what they need, what are their gaols, who are they? and how best to teach them. It’s not rocket science. This is not about what goes on in the studio. It’s about what goes on in peoples heads. If students truly believed that teachers cared for them and ultimately strived for the very best in pursuit of their happiness and dreams then there would be less injury, less self harm, more joy and productivity. The classes are small 13?15? How can you not know your own students as individuals? There needs to be a clear contract between the 2 parties where schools make a promise to the student to support, nurture and bring out their full potential. This may be there in theory but it is NOT HAPPENING IN PRACTICE except for the very small minority. And when it doesn’t happen, schools must be accountable. They must. They must now be accountable for their failure every and each time it happens. Every child (not just the 2 per cent super talented) is worth the time and trouble. Every child, even if difficulties arise along the way ( we know and expect they will) should be treated with respect. My daughter was assessed out at 18yrs. There was no communication whatsoever regarding gently redirecting her dance training into something more suitable. They did not know her as a person at all and had no idea what she might have liked to use all her training for. They’d never bothered. They probably already knew from the beginning she wasn’t worth the effort in their eyes. This was certainly borne out by the vicious teacher’s abusive behaviour in Upper School. In fact, my dd said later - I don’t think the AD knew my name until the Assessment. She was being truthful. She’d been there since yr 9 (5yrs) and on the couple of occasions she’d met him, he’d called her the wrong name.

Some of the words sent in a text message at the time of the abuse crushed beat down lost her way lost herself massively set back in every way. They describe perfectly what was happening before our eyes. My daughter had a perfect physical (proportions) attributes and was as confident as they come. In her first vocational school she was very happy and she thrived. Parents and children shouldn’t be blamed for the abuse of teachers who are there to nurture them and help them realise their potential.

I am very interested to read this report and to contrast it with my dd’s experience. I am also curious to understand how this could possibly satisfy some as to being the whole truth. My dc was at one of the 2 schools discussed on the program until last year. My DC was a diligent, thoughtful and compliant student. Reports from the school suggest as much. Under no circumstances would my dc have EVER reported bullying, abuse or any negative behaviour from teachers, the houseparents or the school in general whether it was completely confidential or not. The clue is in the ‘all students behave impeccably’. Of course they do, because each and everyone would do ANYTHING to remain in the school, to go to upper school and to be accepted to the Company. And I do mean ANYTHING, such is their mindset. In the early days they may not even have been aware of some of the very subtle abuse taking place such is the nature of a’Ballet class’ There is much in the report that my dc would uphold as being practiced such as the very positive messages about nutrition, physical health and well being. Those messages certainly got through to my dc and we applaud those messages which my dc found extremely helpful throughout her training. However, this is where one has to be there to understand how complex the system is and how a report, no matter it’s good intentions, will not give a true picture. We moved house twice so my dc would be able to be a day girl at both vocational schools she attended. This was done to safeguard her physical and mental health. She would be able to come straight home and communicate how her day had been and we would be able to listen, provide healthy nutrition and home comfort. If there were any issues we vowed to deal with them immediately. During lockdown, my dc was made to board at WL. This coincided with her application and audition to Upper School something she wanted more than anything in the world. In her mind she needed to do 3 things - be technically perfect and strong, be artistically beautiful and be physically suitable. She was already physically ( in terms of proportions) perfect. But she was not stupid. She saw her friends be assessed out in yr 9 and drew conclusions from that and from those who had been accepted for upper school previously. In her mindset she was not good enough. She worked herself to the bone… literally. I did not see her. She was boarding now at school and unable to come home. When I finally saw her I was horrified. She had lost a massive amount of weight in such a short time. I called the school. They had not noticed despite seeing her in leotard and tights every day. The nurse was very concerned. My dd did not have a period after this for nearly 2 years. They immediately told her she must sit out of dance in front of her whole class. It was humiliating for her. They did not call me or tell me what the situation was or how we were going to deal with it. There was absolutely no communication whatsoever. I had to call them. The insensitivity was astounding and added to the mental stress she obviously already felt. My dc would not want me to tell you this or to report any negative behaviour by the school but I’m going ahead to beg you how to look beyond a report. I would also query the statement ‘behaviour and relationships between pupils and with staff are excellent’ From our experience, students are very quiet and careful to always do the right thing because that is the code they understand. The AD is a distant and revered figure who appears very little, if at all, and there is certainly no opportunity to build a relationship with them.

My dc was at another vocational school beforehand and was extremely happy. Others may have been having a thoroughly miserable time but she did not witness it. This is why it is so difficult to pin down. Because while let’s say 10 students in the class are having the experience they realistically hoped for, 3 students might be going through hell.