Ballet.Parent

Talking of arrogance and a complete lack of sensitivity …Elmhurst have just posted photos on Twitter of their healthy meals as if to prove a point which I feel is just a big two fingers up to the brave students and parents who shared their story on Panorama. It’s not the food that’s the problem… it’s the way the children are made to feel if they eat it!

Same here

I think you will be right. I have direct experience of 3 of the schools. There is good and bad everywhere.

Thank you. I should have done more at the time. I tried. I failed. I have to live with the guilt of the harm that was done to my child as I didn’t speak up in the beginning out of fear of repercussions on them. By the time I did raise it, the abuser had done too much damage. For those wanting to “parent blame”, there won’t be a parent amongst us here whose child has suffered harm that doesn’t wish we could have done things differently. But I echo what others have so wisely said. All abuse is wrong and is never the fault of the child. I knew one of the dancers in that documentary. I was part of a FB group of parents which I left after seeing the “turn a blind eye” approach of some who were frankly just relieved it wasn’t happening to their child. When you have a culture of fear that it could be your child next, it leads to victim shaming and blaming. I can tell you now, it would never have happened to one of the children of the very very rich and well-connected parents in the ballet world. Abusers aren’t stupid. If you’re a nobody like we were, you’re just more likely to come in the firing line. And that very sadly is my truth.

My experience there was that a nurse was part of the problem

This is the truth. I remember when we raised abuse by a specific teacher (physical and verbal) and an “investigation “ was carried out by the pastoral staff. Very quickly things became even darker for my child. I have so many regrets. We were so scared that we had ruined our child’s life and all that they (and we) had sacrificed from the age of 11 would be for nothing. They have so much power and control over your career. I wish I had realised then that none of it was worth it and maybe the irreparable damage would never have happened. We must never forget we are talking about children away from home and their parents. The body shaming is just a tiny part of the abuse that we witnessed or experienced