Efftee

3 minutes ago, Peanut68 said:

This is a pertinent strand for any dancer & their family & friends - male & female - as it is a ‘so easy to slip into’ illness when desperately trying to ‘fit the perceived X school or X company ‘mould’ of theideal dancer they give places to/employ....

The combination of a desire to succeed & the very real fear of failure at an age of natural development must be truly challenging. Plus our natural (Brit?) tendency to ‘brush under carpet’ or hope it’s ‘just a phase’ have too easily let things get too far before help is sought. I fortunately only have experience of seeing it happen to others but I do see how open discussion, the strength to admit there’s a problem & seeking help are not easy but are the critical first steps to recovery. There needs to be less worry of the stigma of ever having this illness, the worry that having that ‘label’ will hinder future chances. But health & welfare of the individual must always come first and it is also important to protect impressionable young minds. If an individual known to be suffering from an eating disorder & who openly discussed/witnessed symptoms/actions is still feted by schools/social media etc & seen to be a ‘dance success’ then I do worry about the impact & possible ‘normalizing’ of this life changing condition which could further exacerbate poor body image etc in others & lead in turn to eating disorder/over training issues. This was a problem in the dance world before Social Media.... the pressures now must be so much more stressful. Although I do also see how it can be a platform for positive open discussion & a force for good in this area & others (👍🏻👍🏻 for this forum) 

Health & happiness to all

 

Thank you to everyone contributing to this discussion. All of the comments are useful and I am touched by your compassion for my daughter. I just want to clarify my original question: competition for places at upper school and companies is fierce, as we know, and as those organisations will have far more applicants than places they will look for any reason to reject someone. If two dancers of equal ability are going for one place but one of them is known to have - or had - an eating disorder then she/he is bound to lose out. We don't want to deceive the school, and clearly we wouldn't push our daughter into an even more pressured environment if her eating and weight loss were still a concern. But if the issue is under control and she is moving in the right direction we don't want to needlessly jeopardise her chance of being accepted by disclosing a condition that is, we hope, resolved. 

On 11/02/2020 at 09:21, invisiblecircus said:

Companies, probably not. They'll look at her resumé and watch her dance. They'll probably also have a reference from the school where she trained so as long as she didn't have problems during that time I don't think it will be a problem for companies.

Presumably, she has already completed the application forms for the upper schools she's applying to and the medical information sheets that go with them. There is usually a question about eating disorders on the forms. Did you mention her problem on there or did it develop later? If you didn't mention it on the form, whether the school will have a record of it will depend on whether you signed something to let them have access to her medical records (not sure how that works in the UK these days.)

Sorry to read that your DD has been struggling with this, I wish her all the best in her recovery.

6 minutes ago, Jane said:

I’m sorry to hear your Dd is unwell but pleased to hear she is about to start treatment. 
A number of years ago a friend’s Dd, who was in year 9 of a vocational school had to be hospitalised with an eating disorder. She tried to return to the school in year 10 but wasn’t ready so returned home for a full recovery. At 16 she was accepted at Central with them knowing fully about her medical history, she completed the course and went on to have a dance career. 
There were a number of DC who were also hospitalised with eating disorders whilst my Dd was at vocational school, both lower and upper. The only one that didn’t get the support she required was the one who’s parents hadn’t been open with the school about her illness. She ultimately had to leave but after a long gap, during which I hope she got the help needed, I believe is now training elsewhere. 

So our experience is the schools are open to supporting students who have a history of eating disorders but I would also agree with @drdance and postpone all thoughts of auditioning until your Dd is fully fit. 
I wish you all well at what must be a very stressful time. 
 

Thanks very much Jane for your informative and useful reply. It's encouraging to hear that your friend's daughter pulled through and went on to have a career, though shocking to learn that so many others were hospitalised. We are working closely with the school, which has been very supportive and understanding, though ultimately we may decide - as you and others suggest - to postpone things until she is better. Many thanks again.

1 minute ago, Anna C said:

Hello Efftee and a belated welcome from me.  I’m so sorry to hear about your daughter’s illness; what a worry for you all.  I’m very glad she will be starting treatment soon.  

 

I have to say I echo drdance’s advice about postponing auditions - GCSE year puts a horrible amount of pressure on teenagers without also having the physical and emotional stress of auditioning for upper school at the same time.  There are of course upsides and so many wonderful benefits of dancing but at the same time, the competitive environment combined with being surrounded by other ballet dancers can be the very worst place to be if you suffer with an ED or any body image issues.  😔 

 

Wishing you all the very best and hoping for a full recovery for your daughter.  

Hi Anna. Thank you for your comments, which make a lot of sense. We are thinking very seriously about postponing the next stage. I don't know how these youngsters manage this. The pressure is immense. Thanks again

1 hour ago, FlexyNexy said:

Hello Efftee, so sorry to read this but happy your DD is getting help. From what i re-call when DD received offers from upper schools, i needed to disclose medical statement and history signed by the GP. The schools had their medical questionaire that i needed to have filled by GP.
No one can release your file without prior consent.

Wishing you all the best and thinking of you. Lot's of love and strenght.

Hi, I'm sure you're right about having to disclose medical history. Many thanks for your kind words and support.

1 hour ago, Picturesinthefirelight said:

Every school/college that dd applied for had a medical questionnaire that including questions on injuries, medical conditions and eating disorders.  It would be unethical of a school not to enquire and it would be in your daughter's best interests to declare it so that appropriate support can be put in place and indeed it can be determined whether full time training is in her best interests at this stage of her hopefully recovery.

 

I hope that she gets the support she needs to come through this.  Accepting there is a problem and accepting help is a major hurdle she has already overcome.

Good advice and comments. Thank you for your kind words and recognition that she has already overcome a hurdle by asking for help.

5 hours ago, Motomum said:

In theory with GDPR and without your daughters explicit consent, the information cannot be shared.

 

This is regardless of whether it is known to the current school, they cannot share this information. 

 

Might I suggest that you check the schools permission to share policy. You might need to ‘opt out’ of sharing, as oppose to ‘opt in.’ I would also write a polite letter to the lower school if that is where your daughter is stating you do not give details of her personal history to be shared with anyone other than GP, ED Clinic, parents. Your daughter will also need to sign it.

 

Eating disorders come under mental health and this is private and confidential personal information.

 

Check ICO website for more details.

 

I have your daughter gets all the support she needs. 

All very useful advice. Much appreciated and many thanks for your kind words.

5 hours ago, drdance said:

Hi Efftee, I'm so sorry to hear this but really pleased that you are getting help and support. I hope you don't mind my asking but have you considered putting off the upper school applications for a year, until your DD is better? Perhaps it would be more beneficial in the long term to focus on that without the added pressure of auditions and schools. Medical history may well come into the applications in the later stages and as tempting as it may be to keep this hidden from the schools, you would be doing your DD a disservice not to disclose it (in my opinion however that is one of a teacher and dancer-health advocate not of a parent).

 

Thinking of you all. 

Thanks very much for your considerate reply. Yes, we are looking carefully at delaying upper school for a year. Perhaps she wasn't quite ready for the pressure of vocational school and a year back at home could be beneficial. Will certainly bear in mind your comments about disclosure of medical history. Thanks again

7 hours ago, Aklf said:

Hi Efftee,  so sorry to hear that your daughter is not well, it must be very stressful for you. I can’t answer your question but just wanted to say sending positive thoughts and I hope she recovers well. Glad she is getting the support she needs So she can return to her passion when she is ready. 

Yes, it is pretty stressful - much more so, of course, for our daughter, who's having to cope with auditions, GCSEs and now this... 

7 hours ago, DD Driver said:

I do not know how this works in the UK. 

 

Just wanted to say that my heart goes out to you and your family.  Sounds like you are getting the help needed.  

Hi. That's very kind. She is getting help and has a positive attitude, so we're hopeful.

7 hours ago, invisiblecircus said:

Companies, probably not. They'll look at her resumé and watch her dance. They'll probably also have a reference from the school where she trained so as long as she didn't have problems during that time I don't think it will be a problem for companies.

Presumably, she has already completed the application forms for the upper schools she's applying to and the medical information sheets that go with them. There is usually a question about eating disorders on the forms. Did you mention her problem on there or did it develop later? If you didn't mention it on the form, whether the school will have a record of it will depend on whether you signed something to let them have access to her medical records (not sure how that works in the UK these days.)

Sorry to read that your DD has been struggling with this, I wish her all the best in her recovery.

Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply. Yes, she had completed the forms including the medical information before her problems began (or before we were aware of them). She is talking about it, rather than being secretive, which is a positive sign, so we hope for the best. Thanks again

Our 16 year old has developed an eating disorder while in the middle of auditioning for upper school. She is about to be treated at an eating disorder clinic. Will there be a record of her illness that schools and, down the road, companies will see? 

Hi Jan. Thanks so much for sending me this thread. Some thought-provoking comments...

We're wondering if Germany might be a good option for our daughter's upper school. She's 15 and currently at vocational school in England. Does anyone have any views and knowledge of the schools, particularly those in Munich?