Lifeafterballet

Exactly

In my Dds year a few of the children had two phones. One they handed in and one to keep. Bet that still happens 🤣

I’m not sure whether that’s a good thing or not 🤔 I used to dread talking to Dd. It was that initial “Hello” and your heart sank 😞 It was like having a dementor for a daughter. She could suck all the happiness out of you in an instant. But not anymore 😃

When we were offered a place at the school the Assistant Artistic Director asked us how we thought our daughter would manage with the boarding element. I recall describing her as a “tough cookie”. She was then but sadly we were completely naive as to the world of ballet training and boarding and the journey she was about to begin. Whatever people will tell you it’s not normal to send your 11 year old away from home to train for a competitive career. Home sickness and tears are normal its the environment that isn’t. I remember the houseparent described it as a sleep over with rules. It’s not. It’s an intense boiling pot of fear and self doubt. In my mind I liken it to Shawshank. Everything personality and character wise was stripped away. She had to learn to conform and fit into the ballet student mould. A ballet bubble, with restricted access to family and the outside world. She only had her phone for one hour in the evening. She would try to find a dark, private corner to call us. They were harrowing conversations 😩 She wasn’t mature enough at 11 to cope with the environment and why should she be. High levels of anxiety and stress, self doubt and feelings of not being good enough. But she felt she had won an amazing prize, that she was lucky, that hundreds wanted her space so she was reluctant to give it up. We supported her, thinking it would get better, it didn’t. Just another set of problems as you move through the school years. The love of ballet gets lost along the way. Occasionally you discover it again at a summer school or with an outside teacher but within the school class it was sucked out of her again. I think that had she been older she may have been more equipped to deal with the ballet and the boarding. And so graduated less affected and with her love of ballet intact. Im sure a lot of parents out there share similar experiences and regrets to us. Little did we know at the time 😞 The beginning of our journey was ten years ago and I hope that parents now are more well informed and feel less scared of doing what their gut tells them is best for their child.

We too would be happy to share our experiences if it would change the toxic culture within ballet and vocational training. But sadly I fear it won’t 😣

Now sold x

I still have one x

100% agree. We have, as you say, been there, done that and paid the therapy bill 😞 Sadly I believe that the ballet world is the issue and very unlikely to change. My daughter saw a psychologist privately outside her ballet school for a time. We were worried that it wasn’t going to be helpful as the psychologist wasn’t familiar with the ballet world and didn’t as you say ‘get it ‘. But it was helpful because it proved that it wasn’t her that had to learn strategies to cope with the ballet world, but that the toxic environment at the school wasn’t right and needed to change. Parents and children get so immersed in the ballet world that they can’t think clearly and what is right and wrong becomes blurred. Those outside the ballet bubble can help clear the fog. It is approaching two years since my daughter stopped ballet. Healing from years of physical, psychological and emotional abuse, from herself and others, takes time. Her recovery is ongoing but she is confident, positive and finally happy. She is enjoying a new sport and is learning to deal rationally and without fear with injuries too. I too am patiently waiting for the ballet world to be investigated and held accountable for its practices, and future generations of young dancers to not endure the current cruel system.

My son had already done 4 As level exams but was still required to do two A levels at Elmhurst. The timetable is built around the academics and dance so if you don’t do the A levels then there is a lot of downtime. Some students dropped out of the A levels and they just kicked around. There was no studio or gym space for them as all slots were taken so no opportunity to do extra dance. I would email and ask them if they are compulsory, I’m sure that they, or an EPQ etc, are. Good luck 😀

My son started Elmhurst at 17 and his friend 18. There have been others of that age so don’t cross these off your list because of age 😄

The more you earn the more you pay. We found it not to be worthwhile earning more as the majority went on to the following years MDS contribution. Everything coming into the household has to be declared, including sponsorships and support. In fact I had to reduce my hours when my husband got a promotion. Then there is the DaDa to get ready for and the earnings cut off point 😅 and looking after graduation, if you really want too, ££££££ We consulted a financial advisor. We found that the only way to afford to send our two to vocational school was to additional lend on our mortgage. We did this yearly 🤣 We have 8 sub mortgages ! We also had an older child at University. You have to support the non ballet children too. Otherwise you run into resentment territory 😢

In our experience 11 is too young for a hundred reasons I could write a book on 😢 We had two children at the same vocational school, one started at 11 and the other at 17. We now would have held onto our daughter til later.

We are moving house and they aren’t coming with us 🤣 Three pairs still available. Reduced to £20 a pair 😊

Eleve blue flowers now sold 😊

Wear Moi white skirted now sold 😊

Pink Yumiko now sold 😊

DM please for further details😊 Moving house so all very reasonably priced and in excellent condition

All £10 each including delivery.

All £10 each including delivery.

Aubergine cropped leggings and sports top. Excellent condition. £15 the set inc delivery. Blue leggings, shorts and two tops. Excellent condition. £7:50 per item including delivery.

He is an exceptional teacher. I know this because he taught both my children in their graduate year. I wasn’t implying that a large social media following meant a lack of quality or playing the system. Quite the opposite. He is a very generous, nurturing and supportive teacher and maybe this is reflected in his students success. He sure is proud of them and their achievements. I’ll reread my post again. I’m sure that I was helping and not being critical 🤔

Hothousing educate or teach (a child) to a high level at an earlier age than is usual. I wasn’t sure what it was really so had to look it up. Yes, this happens 😊 There is a ballet teacher with a very large social media following that shares his private students successes on gaining places at vocational schools and on associate programs. There’s lots of them. He obviously knows what these schools are looking for and has a system for success. Is this hothousing ? It must cost the parents a fortune for the private coaching, but not a patch on what the vocational training is going to cost them 🤣