taxi4ballet Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 Hi all, I'm wondering if anyone can advise please, on how to talk to dd's academic school. She's in Y11 and will soon be starting the 'big' audition rounds, will be taking a vocational exam by the end of this term, and is also performing this term with EYB. I've had one of her class teachers on the phone this morning, saying they don't think she is committed to her GCSE's, isn't completing her homework on time, and what am I going to do about it? Another one called me a few months ago for the same reason. They are adamant that she has to spend lunchtimes/breaks/after-school clubs doing schoolwork. DD doesn't want to, as these are the only times she has free to see her friends and be a normal teenager! I've tried explaining the situation, and that actually she has to put her dancing first at the moment. I don't really want to tell them that actually we as a family are putting her schoolwork and GCSE exams fairly low on the priority list just now! Please can someone help, I really am at a loss as to how to handle this... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2dancersmum Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 Difficult to know what to advise. I wrote to the headmaster at the start of year 11 and explained what DD was aiming to do after GCSEs and therefore the importance of her dance for her future ie not just a hobby. I also pointed out level of vocational exams ie UCAS or qualifying as higher than A levels in the educational framework. However, DD was determined to do the best she could in her GCSEs and accepted that she would have a few months with no time to hang out with her friends. She had many lunchtimes doing homework and was able to keep up with the work without staying after school (would have clashed with ballet). Her friends all supported her. The headmaster also gave us one point of contact in the school to act as academic referee, authorise absences due to auditions, help rearrange mock exams and act as liaison with subject teachers for timing of language oral exams etc. It did help for individual subject teachers when they knew 'school' was on board for helping DD with her career choice. Good luck. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anna C Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 Very tricky. :-( Year 11 is such a juggling act, especially when Saturdays are a complete write-off for homework with Associates all day. I agree that in many respects dance has to come first this term, but with the relative scarcity of places at Upper Schools which have a good chance of graduate employment after 3 years, I am glad that my dd is trying to give her GCSEs equal attention. Of course whether she will manage this is another story. :-) It also largely depends upon what your dd's "plan B" is - if it is to stay on for at least a year of 6th form, start AS or A Levels, then audition again in a year's time, she will probably need at least B grades in the GCSE subjects she'd like to continue. Does she dance every evening? Could one or two evenings a week be set aside for homework? If not, could she compromise her lunchtimes and set aside one or two of those a week for catching up, socialising on the other days? I think if the school understands the importance of dance to your dd BUT at the same time see an effort to compromise from your dd that could possibly help. :-) 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pas de Quatre Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 Having been there, both myself as a ballet student (many years ago) and my daughter more recently, I am afraid I would say the school is right. Your dd cannot afford to neglect her academic studies no matter how focussed she is on a ballet career. Even if she is successful in auditions for 6th form, GCSE results may come into play later in life. As Spanner says, Upper school places are rare, and only a minority of their graduates are finding employment. Then there is the awful prospect of a career ending injury. It can happen at any age, while studying or as a young professional. 15 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BankruptMum Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 (edited) Having a DD now in year 12, I know what you are going through, it isnt easy but it can be done. It is going to be a three way partnership between your daughter, school and dance. All have to give a little, and a compromise needs to be found to stop a stressed daughter, mum and school. Our approach was GCSE's was its only 8 months of her life (plus 1 month of holidays), the results will affect her regardless of her choosen career path (and that may change a few years down the line anyway however determined she is at the moment) so it does need to become a priority. Her school ran exam sessions after school five days a week which she attended but then took this off the time she did personal revision which she slotted in around her dance classes - a lot of her friends put dance on hold, my DD didnt, attended every class as she felt keeping a normal lifestyle helped her stress levels. She even prepared for a Vocational ballet exam which she passed with Distinction in July. If your DD is still doing PE and sports perhaps negotiate she uses these as personal study time, have a chat with them and agree what can be arranged. My DD found these Sports sessions useful though as it gave her time to do something different and unwind. Time off for auditions needs to be thought about so perhaps take a list of audition dates for each school (keep those to a realistic minimum) and ask them which dates would be most suitable and less disruptive for your DD to fit in around mocks etc. Vocational Exams do carry UCAS points but only with Dance/Arts courses, I get the impression they are looked upon as a lovely 'extra' rather than making up core points on over subscribed courses (of which there are plenty now as many are taking this route due to increasing costs with DADA's etc). Basic academic qualifications are still required. Competition is very tough for sixth form places and funding is yet another issue so a Plan B, C, D and perhaps E are needed - GCSE's grades will be a factor in any other route. I didnt realise how stressed my DD was becoming until she had her final exam, its amazing what they can cope with, it sounds as if your school need some reassurance to and then you wont get stroppy non-understanding teachers calling you. Best of luck, its going to be a tough 8 months but worth it :-) Edited September 17, 2014 by BankruptMum 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ecarte Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 We were in the same boat 2 years ago. Every child is different. However what this situation taught my DD was the art of time management. This has stood her in great sted ever since. It is an invaluable skill at vocational school particularly as she is also doing 3 A levels as well as the dancing. There is a time for everything,however, like most teenage girls, if she is not self motivated to do the academic work it will be hard work to persuade her otherwise. Good luck for the auditions and exams to your DD and I wish you endless patience. X 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FelixGirl Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 (edited) Hi Taxi We had exactly the same problem during DD's GCSE year. We had many conversations with the school, and explained countless times that she HAD to keep her dancing up and she couldn't just "have a break whilst she concentrates on her GCSE's"!! In the period from December to June she actually took 8 dance exams (4 vocational ballet - RAD and ISTD and 4 others!!) alongside her auditions and GCSEs. We just tried to to balance everything as best we could. With DD we worked out what she could realistically achieve and looked at which of her GCSEs were the most important and which could, possibly, be allowed to slide a little (French and DT Food tech, both of which she hated!!). I put together a schedule that showed all of her dance classes, travelling time and homework time and we sat with the head teacher and head of year and talked it through. Once they could see what she was having to manage, they agreed that DD could drop the AS that she was doing (she took a couple of GCSE's a year early so the school wanted her to start an AS) and spend any free periods and lunchtimes catching up. Being proactive definitely helped……..it was still a difficult time, but the school did back off a bit! Good luck…..It will be over before you know it!! xx Edited the number of exams because my maths isn't very good!! Edited September 17, 2014 by FelixGirl 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katymac Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 DD studied in PE/Games & RE (which she dropped in yr 9) She studied in the car on the way to class,between class and on the train at weekends She started her timetabled and structured 10 hours a week revision from February half-term onwards (in 15 minute chunks to fit in around class) - she did homework in break & lunchtime and before the bus came in the morning It's hard but it worked We met the school long before yr 11 though - we were having regular meetings from the end of year 8 onwards to balance work vs life vs dance. We had a designated member of staff to liaise with (must remember to email with an update) We dumped one option - no coursework or homework & she still passed it (goodness knows how) 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aileen Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 Something has to give and it should probably be your DD's social life. It is extremely risky for your DD to neglect her GCSEs as she may need to rely on them later. You could tell her that she has to miss or cut down on classes if she does not knuckle down. GCSEs are not hard if your child is reasonably academic and works solidly. My son was doing little work this time last year and his mocks were a very mixed bag but he managed to pull things round and get very good (but not stellar) results last summer after some hard work from January onwards and a huge amount of involvement from his parents. However, he was not doing many hours of an extra-curricular activity. One other thing to remember, which we were caught out by, is that both this term and next there may be controlled assessments to do and preparation for these can take up a lot of time. One final thing: GCSEs start early (earlier than the old O Levels, I think). My son's first exam was 12 May and some started earlier than that. Plus, many if not most of the exams are taken before the May half term. There is usually only two or three weeks teaching in the summer term before the exams start. Even if your DD is not worried now she will start to get very stressed as the exams loom on the horizon and she realises that she does not have enough time to revise properly. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lifeafterballet Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 Ds went through this last year in year 10. He was to sit 6 GCSES early. He dances 4 times a week, one class is a 420 mile round trip, swims twice a week, plays rugby twice a week and then in April successfully auditioned for Matthew Bournes Lord of the Flies !! Like others have said time management is so very important ! The school had to give him permission to have 2 weeks off ! He has a fantastic work ethic for a 14 year old and prioritised his work load ! There was no time for socialising and friends understood ! The school were very supportive ! Compromise as mentioned before is hugely important ! It was tough but he got through it and was so pleased with himself ! Even got an A in RE !! He knows how precarious the world of ballet is and how there are so few 6th form places and jobs at the end of it all ! We have cut our list of schools from 8 to 2 ! GCSES are so important, he has another 7 next year, and although ballet dreams have really to be in motion at 16 the rest can be realised at 17 or 18 ! We have a plan A, B,C and D ! We have studied the audition dates and found a back to back one which will reduce travel costs and time off school ! Good luck to your DD in her auditions and GCSES ! It is only 8 months out of their lives ! I would start planning a lovely summer holiday if I were you ! That's the only thing that keeps us all sane in our house ! Lol ! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 Hi Taxi, all sounds very challenging! I took similar approach to 2dancersmum . My dd in Year 11 and in a similar scenario but I contacted her secondary School towards the end of year 10 to ask what they can do to support my dd emphaising she wanted to do her best academically as ell as pursue her dance and after a few false starts she has been excused from PE and is able to catch up on work during these sessions which I think is only two hours per week but it makes a difference. They call it some kind of 'elite sports' support for those who have major commitments out of school. The form teacher has also contacted all the teachers so they are aware of her commitments so she doesn't look like she is giving lame excuses for not getting her home work done and they are trying to give me advance notice of dates that she has to be in school so we don't create clashes with audition etc. Its not all plain sailing but the school (large comp) have shown willing and in some cases been very flexible. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taxi4ballet Posted September 17, 2014 Author Share Posted September 17, 2014 Perhaps I should have mentioned that the two subjects she is having trouble with are: art (you can't do art homework in the car or on the train!) and dance (bizarrely). She's keeping up well with all her other subjects so far. She attends two associate programmes and can't postpone her ballet exam due to the syllabus change. We have one evening free a week and she tries to get all her homework done then. When it comes to friends - well, she hasn't had the opportunity to spend much time with them for several years, and they are always moaning she is never free to see them after school, and is always missing birthday parties etc. She gets so little free time, it seems rather unfair for her to give up her lunch breaks as well! I'm seeing her head of year on Friday... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aileen Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 Perhaps she should drop art if she's doing 10+ GCSEs. I've heard that it's a lot of work. I don't know why some schools insist on their pupils taking so many GCSEs. You can get into Oxbridge with 10. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2dancersmum Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 I would suggest you see if you can persuade your DD to catch up on her art by trying doing 2 lunchtimes a week - it seems a shame to drop a subject with the finishing line in sight. Remind her it is only short term. I am sure she will not be the only one doing it - and if others are not yet they will be before long. Subjects like art with the big practical component usually need the practical component finished by end March/Easter and March every year sees students panicking to finish projects off. Yet March could be busy for your DD with finals so it is wise to try and keep up, if not try and get a little ahead. Before you go to your meeting on Friday I would get write down clearly the dance commitments your DD has and when auditions are so you can try and work out how school can best support your DD. Year 11 is an extremely tough year and it gets tougher but from March auditions tend to be finished and you can reassure the school she will have plenty of time for revision. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anon2 Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 Art is so much work. My dd spent more time on this than any of her other subjects and found it draining. It also killed her passion for creativity - I'm hoping it will come back soon as it was one way she found to relax. As Aileen mentioned try to pin down the school for dates of controlled assessments so you can plan initial auditions around them. Mine missed an English one due to illness and then had to miss teaching time close to the exams to do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BankruptMum Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 The audition times are more likely to be an issue with Mock exams. I think dedicating a couple of lunch breaks to art would be a good idea - probably best to go to school with an open mind and lots of dates, information. Does EYB mean lots of missed school or is it just fitting in rehearsals. Rest is so important as once they get over tired there is no room to catch up in this busy time. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taxi4ballet Posted September 17, 2014 Author Share Posted September 17, 2014 Thank you so much everybody! I was so stressed out this morning after that phone call, it's really helped to get things off my chest. She is already doing after-school art, and actually it was the GCSE dance teacher today whose attitude was so aggravating. I find it so odd that, of all her subject teachers, it should be the dance teacher who is being unsupportive and lacking in understanding... Lots of helpful advice from you all, thanks again 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huddsballetmum Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 Sorry taxi but I think your DD's GCSE's take priority over a social life. No matter how focused and talented a dancer is there will come a time when they can no longer dance professionally and will need something to fall back on. You can take A levels and extended diplomas after your dance career but you need a basis to start. All DC's give up so many things within their social lives to accommodate dance but an education should never be one of them. True friends will stand by her no matter what, the rest won't really matter in the long term. Please encourage your daughter to focus on her education. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moneypenny Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 Jane, funny that, my dd felt exactly the same about art ... It was a massive amount of work, which she too found draining and couldn't wait to see the back of it by the end. She would spend whole weekends sometimes shut away just working on certain pieces, as so much of it had to be done in her own very limited time! In terms of year 11, although dd was already at vocational school, this term is the one to try and get ahead in with artwork, revision etc, and in my opinion next term is the really tough one, with mocks and lots of auditions. Once the distraction of auditions was over by mid march, the summer term didnt seem too intense, apart from the four weeks or so when exams were running. And don't students in mainstream school also have quite a lot of study leave? Whichever way you look at it, it's a tough year. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meadowblythe Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 I have had this conversation with dancing DS and musical DD at various times. Afraid my less than sympathetic approach was: if you want to be "normal" then that's fine, we will stop the music lessons/dance lessons/associate programme/orchestra now. If you want to continue then we expect a degree of commitment from you, as we are funding this venture and also spending a lot of time offering a taxi service. And part of the commitment to whatever was to keep on top of school work. You may like to tone down my less than compromising stand but I don't believe that it is possible to be "normal" and achieve at a high level in any discipline. Something always has to give. 13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moneypenny Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 I have to agree meadowblythe ... we have totally supported dd's ballet aspirations in every way possible and made lots of sacrifices to do so over the years. In return, she knew, as she now still knows with A levels, that we expected her to stay on top of her academic studies. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fiz Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 That is what we did too, Meadowblythe. Our eldest did decide in the end to go the academic route anyway and our youngest decided to go to university first and try for drama school afterwards. Her schedule was truly awful. If she had done art, there is no way she could have stuck to it. Our neighbour's daughter had done art and we knew just how demanding the course was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwimum6 Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 Last year really opened my eyes. At one point a freak accident suddenly saw us faced with the possibility of the dancing dream being over. I realised all our eggs were in the one basket. Thankfully my dd had an excellent batch of gcses behind her so a plan b wasn't out of the question. While it is fab to get a place at dance schools, I am feeling more cynical these days as there are lots of graduating dancers and very few jobs. It is a very hard year... I remember my dd crying with exhaustion... But I would recommend a balance. A compromise with the school could be the way forward. Good luck to your dd with it all. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JulieW Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 Thought I'd posted earlier - but my phone was obviously playing tricks on me. Some excellent advice and shared experiences here. My first thought was whether EYB rehearsals had started yet, and if not, then perhaps that had to "go" - because something obviously has to and it shouldn't be her GCSE work or her main dancing if she's auditioning for upper schools. If she's realistically aiming for ballet school then perhaps some of the other dance styles might have to go on hold too. She can concentrate on ballet and school work then. If she's going down a more general performing arts/dance route then that's a bit trickier, but it is possible to keep on top of school work and go to dance classes. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aileen Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 Even if the school does give your DD extra time to do homework it still has to be completed at some point and there is a danger that it will just pile up and never be done. Controlled assessments are very important. Some of them are worth as much as 25% of the overall mark. My son almost certainly dropped a grade in one of his subjects because he didn't get a really good mark for his controlled assessment (worth 25%), which was a shame because he got some extremely high marks in the exams. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taxi4ballet Posted September 17, 2014 Author Share Posted September 17, 2014 Things have moved on slightly - after dd came home from school hopping mad and told me what the dance teacher said to her. More later - off to class now! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2dancersmum Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 One of DDs friends has broken her ankle and so is off dance at the moment. For the first time in years she did some sketching and drawing as she used to find it relaxing. She posted it on face book with the 'this is what I did today - so bored' type caption. To her surprise requests started pouring in for her to draw people's children so she now has a handy sideline to bring in some money while she recuperates 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cornishprincess Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 taxi4ballet...hope dd is ok after her run in with dance teacher. thinking of you 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taxi4ballet Posted September 17, 2014 Author Share Posted September 17, 2014 She suggested that dd was showing a lack of commitment, and that colleges would want to see that she was committed. DD, to her credit, pointed out that they would be more impressed by Advanced 2 than GCSE dance, and that in an audition they looked at the dancer rather than a piece of paper anyway!!! I'm beginning to think that the teacher's nose has been put out of joint because - despite being repeatedly asked - dd doesn't do school shows and turned down the elite dance troupe due to her other commitments (that's DANCE commitments, dear teacher, in case you're reading!!!). What is so frustrating is that we got the work/life balance just right in Y10, and all her other teachers are fine, and totally supportive. We've got a Plan B for next year anyway, and everything for the next couple of terms is on a Katymac-style spreadsheet, so hopefully I can appease her teacher and we can get through the next few months with fingernails intact! Thanks for all your helpful comments and suggestions, lots of food for thought, and the very best of luck to everyone else who has auditions & GCSE's coming up too 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fiz Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 Poor dd! My dd's ballet school offered GCSE dance but it clashed with her other commitments plus she also rated her dance and drama exam certificates as being more useful than a dance GCSE. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JulieW Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 Dance GCSE teachers can be funny - my friend's daughter is a very strong dancer, excellent at contemporary, as well as ballet and modern, and went to a CAT scheme, and the dance teacher never had a good thing to say about her. She really was far, far better than any of the others but I suspect she probably made it obvious that she didn't rate the woman as a dance teacher ;-) 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taxi4ballet Posted September 17, 2014 Author Share Posted September 17, 2014 Dance GCSE teachers can be funny - my friend's daughter is a very strong dancer, excellent at contemporary, as well as ballet and modern, and went to a CAT scheme, and the dance teacher never had a good thing to say about her. She really was far, far better than any of the others but I suspect she probably made it obvious that she didn't rate the woman as a dance teacher ;-) You've hit the nail on the head there - I was once reliably informed that the head of dance at the school hates ballet... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taxi4ballet Posted September 17, 2014 Author Share Posted September 17, 2014 Julie I have sent you a PM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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