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ugh! how do you its not you?


southerndancemum
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Hoping for some guidance /reassurance really... feeling miserable

 

DD has been replaced with 'loom band addict' sounds funny but actually its distressed me tonight.

She's meant to have been learning a new dance for a couple of weeks time and hasn't touched it... she's completely obsessed with doing these flipping loom band bracelets and it all came to a head tonight.

I've confiscated them as she hadn't done her h/w for tomorrow either (Normally she's always dancing)

But its really made me question whether SHE wants to dance or if its me, wanting her to dance...

She's only little I know (almost 8) but has never wavered in her dreams since 3.5 of wanting to be a dancer.

 

Sorry - prob not the place bit this :(

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That must all feel awfully frustrating for you Southerndancemum :( but I think the loom bands will just be a phase that doesn't last long, she will get bored eventually and return to dance eagerly! Perhaps a short break from dance will make her realise how much she misses it? Xxx

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I know what you mean southerndancemum my 2 dc are also addicted- bloomin plastic littering the planet!! I agree with SP she is only 8. Even a child who is desperate to dance needsto do other things at that age. I expect she will go back to the dancing; if not it wasn't meant to be.... And I think loom bands are cheaperthan dancing lessons!!

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I drove 4 Dc up to EYB rehearsals in Nottingham this weekend.  My DD is 11, one of the girls was 13, one 16 and one 17 - all 4 of them were making loom band bracelets in the car!!!!!

 

It's a craze that the kids are loving at the moment but it will pass....I wouldn't worry that this means she's not loving her dancing too...let her enjoy them (once homework and practice are done ;) ) x

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My daughter is also hooked on loom bands! but lets put things into perspective, let's say you are an Estenders addict, you love it, never miss an episode, record it etc that's your all time favourite but you will still have other TV shows you like to watch, you might even get hooked on Springwatch for the couple of weeks it's on, but you'll still go back to Eastenders in the end :) terrible comparison I know but same basic principle applys, if your daughter loves to dance she will come back to it she's just spending a little time on her other interests at the moment, and I think it's healthy for the kids to have a break and try other things and have something in commen with their peers who don't always get the whole dancing obsession! Just go with the flow and maybe try saying she can have her loom bands after dance practice, dinner and homework are all completed, I find them a great way for my daughter to wind down in the evening, she can sit in bed or on the sofa with them for half hour before bed and it seems to really relax her :) xx

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It'll pass: come a few months or so, she'll be bored with them or they'll no longer be fashionable, or something :)

 

I don't know how you make them, but we had enough similar things when I was young.  They, and things like them, are presumably a good way of winding down in the evening: better than going straight from Internet/social media to bed, I suspect, so I agree with others that probably getting her to do them after she's done the important stuff for the evening makes sense.  As long as she doesn't get into the "just one more" phase and end up going to bed late ...

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I've never heard of these but compared with what girls could be doing with their time or taking an interest in they sound pretty harmless. It's almost certainly a temporary craze. I remember that when my son was about 8 or 9 the girls were absolutely obsessed with Mini Winnies and the school had to step in and ban them from school premises - which they were devastated about - because they were starting to buy them from each other at inflated prices.

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Well, I had to look it up in google.....seems like a harmless activity.....even creative.

 

There will always be something that captures the young, some fad, some trend.  Let's be happy it's harmless.

 

I don't think I would confiscate it.  I would remind the child of the need to do homework and/or rehearse a dance.  But, I'd also be willing to allow her to make the choice of how to spend her time and then let her face the consequences.  Could be a good lesson in priorities when she has to explain to the teacher why her homework isn't done.

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Try not to worry - I had to google them too, but it's certainly a fad...even if royalty are wearing them!

 

http://fashion.telegraph.co.uk/article/TMG10919743/Loom-bands-out-of-the-playground-and-into-the-mainstream.html

 

I agree with Anjuli, this could be a useful lesson in priorities and time management for your young DD.

 

It's also completely normal for there to be a an all consuming trend..my girls were absorbed by many over the years, but they usually peaked around Christmas time and the item was then impossible to get hold of and sold to the desperate at inflated prices.

 

I think £5 for some bands to create some pretty bracelets is harmless enough, it will pass!

Sx

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If she didn't dance, would you feel any differently about her spending all her time doing these loom bands and forgetting to do her homework? My advice would be to set the ground rules/remind her of the ground rules of school and homework.  She is young and no matter what her dreams are for the future, she will get distracted from time to time I am sure by these crazes that come along, that all her friends are doing and she can join in with.  It does not mean she is any less keen on her dancing - both my DDs went through stages where they were always dancing at home and practicing something or where I never saw them doing anything at home.  You are probably going to wonder many times over the years if it is you wanting her to dance or her wanting to dance and I can't give you any magic solution - you just have to learn to relax and let her find her own way - but to be there for her

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She is 7 and you are worrying she wants to do what all her friends are doing? What looks like a harmless but productive hobby that will be a fad to be followed by another. Years ago I listened to a mother of a DC slightly older than mine who said she hoped all the hours spent travelling to and doing classes/associates paid off as her dd had missed out on a normal childhood - always missing birthday parties, sleepovers etc. Said dc changed physically and had to change routes losing her associate ballet friends along the way but isolated from her school peers - let her be she is so young. 

 

Does a child this young really have a dance that is so important they have to rehearse it outside their classes?

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thanks everyone for all the comments!!!

you really helped me put it in perspective :D  (feel bit daft for posting to be honest ^_^ )

 

So to update, we've agreeed that she can do them so long as homework was done - that was the real key thing as that comes before dance.  Then they can be done for max of half hour in the eve, and on route to any dance events etc (we thankfully dont have the issue with social media / game devices as she's never been into anything like, that despite owning x-box, wii, ds, mobile phone etc etc).

 

Jane - yes, the dance was being learnt with 2 others outside of dance classes so she was also letting them down but not spending much time on it.  when i pointed out how it would feel if she'd worked hard and learnt something but one of the others hadnt put the time in, she changed her focus :)

i've also always made her decide the priorities - eg whether she wants to do sleepover or dance event - its always been dance that wins, bar one athletics event as she wanted to 'try it out at least once'.  I will never ever 'make' her dance - unless she's letting someone else down when we will have a conversation about it and why its important and if she chooses to then pull out of that event thats her choice.

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