Jump to content

Breaking bad news to our DC


balletshoes
 Share

Recommended Posts

Hi All

I really need your advice, we have just received a no letter for Scottish ballet mids after being a JA there for 2 years. I haven't yet told my dd as she has a dance show tonight and tomorrow and her P7 leavers dance on Thursday night and I don't know what to do! I know she is going to be utterly distraught and just need some wise advice on how to break the news and deal with the after effects. Thank you all in advance.x

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm really sorry to hear that you are in this situation:(

You are definitely doing the right thing waiting to tell her til after her show.

To be honest (and from my own experiences) ultimately you will be the one who feels the hurt and disappointment the most as a mom whose child has been rejected. Our children are stronger sometimes and deal with things better than we would otherwise think.

Are there any positives to her not being part of this training scheme..time for other interests/activities..time to spend with friends/grandparents/siblings?

Best of luck...there always seems to be a reason for everything so hopefully something even better is waiting round the corner for your daughter:)

  • Like 7
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi so sorry to hear this and I agree with everything bluebell has said. Was there any feedback.  Perhaps a year out and try again?  Also is Ballet West outreach near you?  Sending hugs to you and your daughter

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you both for your kind words. There are some positives bluebell as she can keep up her drama class now and possibly take on extra classes at her own dance school which I am going to focus on. We are a bit far away from ballet west but maybe summer school next year. I guess I will just have to be on hand with the tissues and the hugs!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ballet West Aspiring Professionals courses are held in Glasgow and Edinburgh, balletshoes, rather than at their school. The Glasgow classes are at Scottish Opera. You have just missed this year's auditions but perhaps if you phone them you could ask whether a late application is possible? If you don't ask you don't get ;) - the worst that can happen is that they say no and you wouldn't have lost anything if they do.

 

Alternatively you may want to use this year for your DD to enjoy her drama classes and extra classes at her own dance school and to reflect on whether she wants to apply again to Scottish Ballet associates or to the Ballet West scheme.

 

If you received any feedback (or can ask for feedback) as to why she wasn't offered a mid associate place this time, that would be useful to discuss with your DD when she has adjusted to the news and with her own dance teacher.

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Perhaps you can help her to see this not as a rejection, but as a way of helping her to make a realistic choice about her future.

 

She need not stop dancing and being in shows - but perhaps not on the level of future vocation.  It's best, I think, to know this ealier rather than later.  Of course, you can always get a second opinion.

 

This will also give her the opportunity to develop and explore her other talents to which she can now devote more time.  If you see this as a positive - that will help her.  There will be many times when one has to adjust to the opinions of others.  Sometimes we can forge ahead and sometimes we can't.

 

Lemons can become lemonade.

 

I wish her all the luck  in the world.

  • Like 8
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Anjuli apologies for not responding to your post before now but it has been a difficult few days. She was as I expected utterly devastated and slept in my arms all night, as a mum it was all I could do. However as the quote goes" tomorrow is another day" and she was subdued but calmer and was clear she was not ready to give up just yet. DD performed at the show that night and brought tears to my eyes she is so expressive when she dances. There were lots of lovely comments and  the annual award for excellence in dance for her age group was given to her! More tears from me and just the confidence boost she needed as the dance teachers are based in various schools and collectively they chose her..I have requested some feedback re mids so we shall await a response and take it from there .The lady sitting next to me at the show who didn't know my Dd said "that wee lass just draws you in" a real Scottish compliment! .Anyway onwards and upwards and thank you all again for the support you are all the only ones who can truly empathise.x  .      

  • Like 9
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My heart breaks for you and your dd as it is so hard.  There will be light at the end of the tunnel because, to quote the sound of music!, when a door shuts somewhere there opens a window!  My dd lost her place in her associate ballet programme, without warning, and was devastated.  She felt a failure!  However we had a fabulous dance teacher who picked her up, dusted her down and refocused her intentions.  She has just been awarded a place on the CAT programme with Yorkshire Young Dancers and is over the moon.  

 

Something great will come out of this pain I assure you. x

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I understand where you are coming from-my dd was RBS junior associate and tried every year for mids with no luck-in the end she made it as a Senior Associate which, given the odds was amazing. There is always something round the corner and I have continued to say to my dd that 'things happen for a reason'. Use every rejection as an opportunity-if her future doesn't happen to be as a dancer, she could end up doing something else really wonderful and then you can say-'just think, you may not have achieved this had you carried on with Scottish ballet Mids'!

Wishing you luck

Swe

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

As I look back on my life, at the obstacles which blocked my chosen path, I can say with real truth that it was best it happened so.  At the time it seemed to thwart everything I wanted, but as it turned out what I wanted was not as wonderful as I had thought it would be and what I got was much better.

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I just want to say how great this is for the way you ,as parents,support your children on their journeys. You all come across as being so ,so supportive,whatever life throws at your kids. I absolutely know for a fact that if I had received some sort of setback in my dancing,there is absolutely no way on this earth my mum would have encouraged me to continue,even just for recreation. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My DD was an RBS JA for three years and she is quite young for her school year. Despite being continuously told by her teacher that she was progressing well and technique wise she was among the strongest dancers in her class, she didn't get Mids. We were devastated at the time but she picked herself up and auditioned for another associate programme where they offered her a place on the spot and she started immediately. She has been far happier in the new associate programme than she ever was before, not that she wouldn't have taken the Mids place were it offered but we couldn't have managed both. So now she thinks about what she would be missing out on if she was an MA. My point really is the same as other people have said above, you and your DD are not alone, these things happen and the dancers pick themselves up and find something that suits them better. All the very best to your DD, she will be a stronger person because of this.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...