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Kat09
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I'm not sure if this post is allowed and mods please feel free to remove it if not. My daughter has a facebook page which has been charting her progress towards her goal of becoming a professional ballerina ( a long way to go yet ;) ) Anyone who is or who has daughters who are interested in following her journey are welcome to "like" her page ,Ballet nut - it has appropriate privacy controls and I moderate it. She lives breathes and sleeps ballet and loves to share with those of a like mind. Kat x 

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Hello everyone - thank you for all kind words - you have all made my DDs day :D sugarplumsmum that was not a bet I wanted to win but felt fairly confident that I would ;) I shall spend my money taking you for coffee and cake when our daughters are next dancing together. :D xxx 

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I love this and will go along and like any of the pages I can find! In fact, I think it's such a good idea that I have just created one for dd! I am going to maintain 'guardianship' of it until she is 13 and has her own FB then she can take over and share her journey if she chooses to! I love hearing about the journeys of all your talented dancing children so it's nice to put faces to names and hear how they are doing! 

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Some stunning photos on your dd's site Kat09 and inspiring for dancers to be able to follow each others ups and downs/downs and ups!  Is your dd training full time at Autrand ballet in france?  Looks amazing- has this worked out well as a training choice?

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I love this and will go along and like any of the pages I can find! In fact, I think it's such a good idea that I have just created one for dd! I am going to maintain 'guardianship' of it until she is 13 and has her own FB then she can take over and share her journey if she chooses to! I love hearing about the journeys of all your talented dancing children so it's nice to put faces to names and hear how they are doing!

 

Clara; obviously this is your choice, but what you've said about "she can take over and share her journey *if she chooses to*" rang alarm bells with me. Facebook rules state that children shouldn't have an account until they are 13. If you set up a page (which can be seen and liked by anybody, as the pages mentioned above are), ANYONE can see and download photos of your young dd.

 

What happens if at 13, she chooses NOT to continue to share her journey?

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I must admit but my age probably showing here I'm not that keen on too much Facebook exposure even at 13!! It's still too young in my opinion to be completely independent on Facebook maybe from 16 but not before.

I'd be slightly unhappy for younger children......who knows who is looking at the page......even though mostly kindly folks I'm sure....but what about private messaging on Facebook......can this be monitored by a parent?

Even on this forum if a private message is sent to an individual a parent wouldn't know presumably.

I still think 13 is too young to be an actual member of this forum!!

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I love Facebook and use it for myself but I would urge caution as Spanner and LinMM have expressed above.

 

This does not relate to Facebook but it is a real situation that happened to the daughter of a friend of mine.  As a youngster she was a serious gymnast on the fringes of the British team and expected to go further.  The team set up web pages for a number of these young gymnasts.  My friend checked his daughter's page every day and within a couple of weeks the page had been hacked.  He immediately requested it be taken down.

 

It is always worth remembering that anything we do online will be forever visible somewhere in the ether.  Only last week I saw an article saying that Facebook evens saves drafts so if, for example, you are updating your status and decide against it and don't actually post Facebook still has the details!

 

Please be very careful and cautious when posting data publicly on the internet.

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S&P and Linmm you raise important issues that are relevant for teenagers too...some of the dancers who are sharing their story through various social media are not cautious enough- there are photos of acceptance letters with home addresses sometimes which I find staggering. 

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I am very internet savvy and wouldn't post anything that puts any of my children in a dangerous position. As most people will and do have photos of their children as their profile/cover photo will know, these are also accessible to anyone. So I am always mindful of the type of photos I use. I wouldn't not have my photos on FB but my privacy settings are all very restrictive on my personal profile. My dd is not on FB and will not be until the the minimum age stated to have an FB account. She also knows that even at this point I will have her password not to be a controlling Mother but a caring and protective one. Lots of her friends already have accounts and I know they have posted photos from parties etc that include my dd. Lots of dance schools/companies both dance and business e.g. dance wear suppliers use images of children on their websites and FB pages. I do not intend on using an abundance of images on my page and I would not disclose private information such as her full name, address etc on any public forum. But I do think it's those who do not have a full understanding of the internet and social media who are more at risk than someone who is using it in a fun and informative way with a good knowledge of how things work! Again, as any of you with an FB page will know, you can have joint administrators and when dd is old enough I will continue alongside her to administrate the page (along with overseeing her personal account when  she has one!) to ensure she is using it in a safe and appropriate way. 

I echo chaperone regarding some people not being cautious enough as time and time again on FB, Twitter and Instagram I have seen numerous dancers posting acceptance letters etc from auditions which are a cause for concern as they display far too much private information in a very public domain. 

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Oddly I've just been debating Facebook for 12 year old dd. she turns 13 in October as I think she's a bit out of things socially.

 

I would not feel within my rights to set up an update/news account for either of my children pre the age of 13. Although I have many rights as a patent I don't feel i have the right to put information into the public domain without their knowledge, understanding & consent.

 

Dd has an online presence from newspaper articles, stage school, production company websites etc but all things where she & I have known that publicity is a pre requisite for taking part.

 

She has a right to privacy. I put certain stuff in here, yes knowing there are other posters who know who she is, but I know who they are too. & will use PM for personal stuff.

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Dd has knowledge of anything posted in relation to her on FB. I myself when I danced for NYB years ago had an article printed in the local newspaper about my dancing achievements. Wrongly the newspaper published my surname and the name of  the road I lived in. As a result I received hoax phonecalls as my surname was a relatively unusual one, so from the information given it wasn't difficult for someone to obtain my phone number. 
Just regrading the point of disclosing information online without our childrens consent.........How many members on here can honestly say that their children know every single thing that is discussed about them on this forum. Very few I should imagine if we are being honest.

I have and will always be of the opinion that social networking can be very dangerous. IF you don't know how to use it. 

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Discussing one's own children on here without publishing their full name, photos, dance school etc is a different issue though.

 

We shouldn't get confused with two separate issues: the first being a personal Facebook *account* at age 13+, which can be stringently monitored by a parent, which has the tightest possible privacy controls, and the child has worked through potential issues with their parents, had a good look at the CEOP "Think u know" website etc. My dd knows that even with the strictest privacy controls, she should only post photos or statuses that she'd be happy to see on a billboard.

 

This is very different indeed to setting up a Facebook *page* about your child, which anyone in any part of the world can "like" and see all the information thereon. Photos and information can on such a page can end up ANYWHERE; even after the photos or page is deleted on Facebook.

 

Which brings me back to the question "what happens if at 13, a child chooses NOT to continue publishing his or her ballet journey" - and you have already set up and published a public "page"?

 

With a Facebook ACCOUNT you can control who looks at anything beyond your actual name and profile photo. You can choose who to accept as a "Friend".

 

With a PAGE you cannot control who sees the information once they have "liked" the page. You can block people should they spam/flame/offend, but by that time they can already know more than you'd like.

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Hmmm feels a little bit like a personal attack when like I say I am an adult sensibly sharing information that I and dd are happy to.......Which is probably a lot less dangerous than some of the older yet still 'young' dancers who have their own pages. I have loved looking at all of the pages I have come across but there are a lot of photos on many of these. Just because they are 15/16 does it mean they are any safer than a responsible adult acting on behalf of their 12 year old? Probably not but I have enjoyed looking at all of the pages of these beautiful aspiring dancers so I think it is down to the individual and their parents/children. In my case I know my dd better than anyone on this forum and know what is acceptable/appropriate for both of us. Although I appreciate your concern I feel it is a little misdirected in the grande scheme of things. I know countless dancing children some under some above the FB recommended age who post a huge amount of information both data and photographic very publicly and their parents are quite oblivious to the fact. There are definitely more serious concerns, but I guess you can choose to target who you wish on a site like this! I take no offence. What is 'right' for one person on here isn't always 'right' for another.  

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I think as long as both parent and child are in agreement, then it's a personal choice.

 

Just to provoke a little more thought though....how many of us and our children have benefited greatly from seeing and reading of other DC's achievements through these very same mediums?  I know we have in our household...we find them motivating, encouraging, informative and inspiring (and sometimes give us pause for thought in whether this is a route to go down ;) )!  

 

If all of us then decided not to share our successes / failures / journey's through whatever medium whether it be Facebook, Twitter, Press, etc then what a poorer place it would be....

 

I know that I certainly wouldn't have known how to create opportunities for my DD without them :)

 

My DD has appeared on the Facebook pages of the RAD East Mids, MTB, NYB, local Dance School and in the local press and School newsletters and I've never considered that this is irresponsible on my part...but rather I am happy that these will form part of her memories however her journey turns out :)

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I think it's having a special Facebook page dedicated to them that is the problem though not occasionally appearing on an RAD website page or the like. Or if they do competitions being named and /or photographed as a winner etc.

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Hmmm feels a little bit like a personal attack when like I say I am an adult sensibly sharing information that I and dd are happy to.......Which is probably a lot less dangerous than some of the older yet still 'young' dancers who have their own pages. I have loved looking at all of the pages I have come across but there are a lot of photos on many of these. Just because they are 15/16 does it mean they are any safer than a responsible adult acting on behalf of their 12 year old? Probably not but I have enjoyed looking at all of the pages of these beautiful aspiring dancers so I think it is down to the individual and their parents/children. In my case I know my dd better than anyone on this forum and know what is acceptable/appropriate for both of us. Although I appreciate your concern I feel it is a little misdirected in the grande scheme of things. I know countless dancing children some under some above the FB recommended age who post a huge amount of information both data and photographic very publicly and their parents are quite oblivious to the fact. There are definitely more serious concerns, but I guess you can choose to target who you wish on a site like this! I take no offence. What is 'right' for one person on here isn't always 'right' for another.

 

Clara, I am not attacking or targeting anyone and I resent the implication that my expressing concern is a "personal attack".

 

I was expressing concern because it was not clear from your posts that you understood the difference between information shared on a personal Facebook account and a published Facebook page.

 

As you say, you know your dd and can decide as a family how to proceed.

 

Kind regards, Spanner.

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And I resent the way you talk to people sometimes S&P without knowing all the facts or assuming what I do and don't know. You still seem to be talking at me with a very clipped tongue. Not entirely appreciated. 

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