I need some second opinions on this - please help!

[ZooZoo]

Ok so DS has got into a vocational school for Year 7.  Let's call it "Big Ballet School" for the sake of this question.  His local dance school is rightly proud of this and wants an article in the local paper - fair enough.  Let's call this school "Local Ballet School".  The thing is though, they want to put DS's full name in the article with a picture.  So the article will say something like

"Zachary Quack (for the purposes of this question, this is not DS's real name!), currently a pupil at Local Ballet School has been offered a place at Big Ballet School for year 7 - congratulations or whatever".  Bit more blurb etc.

Now, I feel a bit uncomfortable having his full name published with the school he will be going to - it seems like a bit too much information and the NSPCC website on child protection says not to do this for child protection reasons.  But Local Ballet School is making me feel like an unreasonable paranoid parent.  I suppose this is a Mumsnet WWYD (what would you do?)!

[Picturesinthefirelight]

It's a pretty standard thing to do & to be honest (& quite blunt) if your child is going to be a performer you'd better start getting used to it.

 

Dd has been in the paper for musical theatre stuff & the paper referred to her full name & academic school.

 

Our academic schools run similar articles too in the local paper, & sports clubs.

[sarahw]

Suzyszoo

I think you have to do what you are comfortable with. I know I have seen a similar article in our local paper. Personally I would be dithering as well.

The other thing is you do have time- there is no rush so just think about it for as long as you need to- don't get rushed into a decision.

[sarahw]

Should have added it is a nice problem to have! Well done to your ds

[angel]

You must always do what you feel comfortable with for your own child.  Doing something you feel pressured into isn't sending your child the best message in my opinion. The dance school wants to use your DC to promote their business.  Ask yourself what you or your DC will gain?

[ZooZoo]

Thanks for the replies so far - they are certainly helping me work through the options.  I appreciate your bluntness Pictures - I do see what you mean about that, but I do feel very undecided.  I wonder if the schools themselves have policies on this - maybe I will check with the relevant school to see what they think....

[2dancersmum]

Our local paper runs the same sort of articles for sporting achievements and the very odd ballet one.  It seems quite standard, although I do understand why you might feel uncomfortable.  Name and school does not seem too bad if there is no mention of village/town where you live.  They might be happy to run with Zachary Q for the article but most articles I have seen of this nature actually are more of an interview with the parent and quote of how their child feels about dance and how proud of achievements etc so full name is printed.

[Picturesinthefirelight]

I've seen articles in our local paper referring to all the big four schools.

 

When dd had an article in about an mt role she had I named her dance school even though it was her singing & acting which she did elsewhere that got her the role to acknowledge the time & effort they had out into her. The paper names academic schools as standard.

[Picturesinthefirelight]

The JA articles are always funny though as the papers never quite understand what it actually means & I've seen articles implying that 8 year olds have been accepted into RBS.

[Moomin]

Unless you have a specific family situation where identified him could cause a problem I'm not sure of anything untoward that someone could do with that information. If you just gave a first name it wouldn't be hard to find the surname out from one of the other ballet school kids etc. An awful lot of local ballet schools have childrens' names on their websites too. If you're uncomfortable I would probably not allow the story at all but personally I wouldn't mind

[KathyG]

What does the school he's been accepted into think?

[Living the Dream]

You need to check with the vocational school he will be going to, because when my DD was accepted to WL we had to get permission from RBS press office first. Hope this helps and congratulations to your DS. LTD

[hfbrew]

I think that if you or your ds is unhappy about it then that should be respected by his current school.

 

If you do agree to let this wonderful achievement be celebrated in the local newspaper you could always ask to be allowed to vet it before it goes to print.

 

I did this when ds was accepted 10 years ago and allowed it as acknowlegement to the local schools who had supported him. (Also my bosses!)

 

And I have to say I still have the cutting when all others who may have read it have long forgotten. For me as a mum its a great keepsake as the reminder of the start of ds journey! So that might be an aspect you may want to consider.

 

As others have said, its quite common to see stories like this in local papers but the fuss dies down by the next edition and only the cuttings made by proud parents survive... Hopefully to be accompanied by favourable reviews in a few years!

 

Good luck on your great adventure by the way, hold on tight...

[Circe]

Personally i would keep away from the publicity at year 7 and enjoy the achievement for what it is without the fan fare but it is a personal choice!

Edited March 20, 2014 by chaperone

[Pups_mum]

I wouldn't mind either to be honest. My kids have been in the local paper multiple times for a variety of things, dance, sport, academic school related things, music and sometimes just being photographed at local events. (I don't know what it is about us but we do seem to get photographed a lot - at half term we went to a local museum just for something to do on a wet and windy afternoon and all 3 kids ended up in a newspaper article about the museum!) It's quite common that their academic school, dance school, music teacher etc are mentioned, and in fact since we live in a tiny village and have an unusual surname, mere mention of where they live would make them pretty easy to trace I suppose. I don't honestly think it places them at significant risk.

That said, just because some of us are happy about this kind of thing doesn't mean you have to be -it is entirely your choice. How does your son feel? That would be the single most important factor for me. Some children are very happy to be photograhed, interviewed etc, but for others its their worst nightmare. I do know of some boys who dance that prefer not to be in the paper because they fear that it will cause or worsen bullying. Of course that shouldn't happen, but sadly it is an issue for some boys. I would be guided by your DS's feelings on the matter. It's understandable that his teacher wants to publicise his achievements but her feelings are reakky very secondary to yours, and, most importantly, your sons.

[Happymum]

The JA articles are always funny though as the papers never quite understand what it actually means & I've seen articles implying that 8 year olds have been accepted into RBS.

Ha ha! Yes, I agree! This is what they did in our local paper when they wrote about my DD. The article was sensible and said all about the JA weekends only etc but the title was about "getting a place at RBS!"

 

And back to the problem: I think it's important to ask the child if he/she is happy to have his/her photo and full name in the paper. If the child agrees then I don't have a problem with it at all. I can't see what bad can come out if it (meaning that I don't think an article in a paper will have a major influence on somebody's plans/behaviour). And also plenty of times DC photos and names are on events programmes, posters, websites, and if they are going to be well known and famous (and they all hopefully will be !) then we should just get used to it I think. I do understand your point of view though and hope that you, your DC and the schools will find a resolution soon.

[hfbrew]

I just remembered something. All those years ago I did request of the local dance school that they waited until nearly the end of the academic year, the above post (#15)has reminded me that I too was wary of potential bullying and so wanted to wait until year 6 was nearly over. Need not have worried though,all was fine.

Edited March 20, 2014 by hfbrew

[Tulip]

Don't be forced into anything that you or your child don't want to participate in. He is only young and it is your job to make the right decisions. The school will want to promote themselves, but your child is not their property and any good school will respect your wishes. Send the dance school a lovely present and thankyou card, and politely decline the newspaper interview. Well done to your child and best wishes sent to you for standing firm in what you believe in.

[ZooZoo]

Right - I think I am edging towards saying no because....

1.  When DS had his JA photo in the paper it somehow got on the internet and now if I google "Zachary Quack" and JA I get the photo and article pop up on Google, so these things do hang around. hfbrew - if it was only a cutting that would survive I would agree and have the memory, as you have described...but I know from past experience that this will likely be able to be googled for years to come....

2.  It is of no personal benefit to me or DS (but I do feel a bit churlish for not letting Local Dance School have their advertising).

3.  DS won't be bothered either way, but I will ask him tomorrow.

4.  it is a good point to ask the school, so I will do that tomorrow.  Perhaps if they do have a particular policy about it then the decision will be made for me by them!

Isn't the internet amazing?  All alone with a decision to make I have managed to have a chat through all my options with my online friends:)

[Aurora]

My dd has been in the paper as have many other students at her dancing school. It's normal and I don't think there's really anything to worry about. It's not as though they'll be printing your home address. If it was going to be on the internet I could understand your hesitance a little.

 

Would the newspaper be prepared to just print his first name perhaps in light of your concerns? That wouldn't make a difference to the local ballet school.

[JulieW]

My son's article from 10+ years ago can be found in the internet despite the fact it wasn't on the website at the time. But it's quite nice to see it (and it was a picture with his younger siblings who also danced). We had a follow up when he graduated and got his first job - it's nice to see both.

 

But if you're not comfortable with it, don't do it. Ours was entirely our choice (son and I were interviewed for both - my words weren't exactly reported accurately but it was fine!)

[Evie]

My ds went away to vocational school 2 years ago at the age of 11. We didn't do it, even though I have journalist friends on our local paper who wanted us to. I just thanked his teachers and schools for supporting him on my fb page and wrote a couple of thank you notes to them also. We did buy some lovely bouquets of flowers for 2 or 3 of his favourite teachers and have photographs taken with them as keepsakes. Everybody that we care about and that it meant something to were told so they could congratulate him. 

[LinMM]

Is it the photo aspect that is worrying you?

 

Maybe it would be possible for a short article acknowledging his current achievements but without the photo?

 

I'm sure unless your DS is very much against it(some children are very shy and won't want all the fuss etc) it won't be harmful in any way but the lack of a photo at least makes him un identifiable to strangers.

There are often articles in our local paper about children from local schools who are doing something special in some way.......(in September they often have group photos of all the new Reception classes in the area!! ) It will usually be just the parents and close friends of the children in the articles who remember them!!

In the end though as others have said it's mainly down to you and your DS and not down to the local Dance school as to whether you go for it or not.

[Lucinda]

Would you consider just your ds first name only and a photo that is of him far enough away (or in stage make up) so that he is not easily identifiable? Of course this is much harder if he has an usual name or has flame red hair etc.

Many of the schools here just state "1 student accepted into XXX school, level xxx" etc when they have students accepted into full time prestigious schools, rather than naming the student.

I don't think it is necessary to publicly identify a child , but just my humble opinion. My own DD has appeared in the paper but she was very keen to do it and was asked by her dance school. She was also much older. It was an article about mentors.

[Nina G.]

The JA articles are always funny though as the papers never quite understand what it actually means & I've seen articles implying that 8 year olds have been accepted into RBS.

or being accepted into the Royal Ballet

[Anon2]

We had the same dilemma when dd got a place at vocational school but I spoke to them and they really quoted the info you have given from the NSPCC website saying they would rather it didn't happen. We decided against it as it wouldn't benefit dd and didn't want to get off on wrong foot at new school. Do go with your instincts Susyszoo - he is your son. If he takes his vocational place you will find his name/photo being used by them, normally as part of a group, but only if you have signed the release form.

[Stirrups36]

We didn't do such things at mid year 6, because DS wanted to wait until end of year 6 - only closest of his friends knew about the Ballet. After that, why not?

 

We did allow photos to be used by his dance school (s), after all, it was their teaching that got him to where he is and as we were happy with the school, then supporting them in their continued existence is a good thing.

 

My mantra about any letting photos out on the open internet, which includes press - if you would be happy to have the images enlarged, with all the details and then have that put on posters around your local town and beyond, then fine.

 

If you would not like that to happen, don't put it on the internet. Of course, this doesn't apply to private boards or sharing. Just watch the privacy settings.

[ZooZoo]

You have all been very helpful.  I have managed to google quite a few of the children who will be joining DS by using a few search words - interesting..  Obviously lots of people don't mind the photo/name thing.  I have decided to say they can have a photo if full name is not used.  If that's not ok, then we won't do it.  I appreciate all your views which have helped me make a decision. Thank you!

[Lisa O`Brien]

or being accepted into the Royal Ballet

Or are guaranteed of being accepted into the Royal Ballet once they finish at RBS.!

[amber21]

You have all been very helpful. I have managed to google quite a few of the children who will be joining DS by using a few search words - interesting.. Obviously lots of people don't mind the photo/name thing. I have decided to say they can have a photo if full name is not used. If that's not ok, then we won't do it. I appreciate all your views which have helped me make a decision. Thank you!

Hi would it be more comfortable for you maybe just putting his first name in. . . .another option I suppose.

Ax

Edited March 22, 2014 by amber21

[TheMightyTwiglet]

Well done to your Ds and I'd say go with what you're comfortable and also ask your son what he thinks.

Or like amber21 said it's a good idea to just use his first name

[Lemongirl]

Even if they put his full name and school, can you pinpoint exactly what you would be worried about? So say worst case scenario the picture and article ends on the internet and can be googled, why is that a problem?

 

If you go onto any schools website you'll find names and photos of pupils on their news pages. It's commonplace these days.

 

Think there is an article about my dd about a ballet production she did a few years ago knocking around on google. It wouldn't occur to me to be worried about it. Or am I being naive?

[Lifeafterballet]

If I google my children's names pictures and articles about their cross country and rugby successes come up ! I have never put these on the internet myself. I am probably as naive as you Lemongirl but I believe it would be difficult to go into a career in ballet without some form of recognition ! I thought the whole point was to dance in front of an audience ! You can't achieve success and remain anonymous ! Can you ?